147 VKM MVP: May 29, 2009

73 minutes
"most gibberish-tastic WCR we've ever had"

All-Time Leader in Fools Pitied
Blade begins recording hitting the bottle, something he hasn't done for a while and which makes the show more interesting from the get-go. This is due to the week's RAW and Vince trying to make his own wrestling-basketball team for his company's play-date. Blade thinks the owner of the Denver Nuggets is "Walter Kronkie" and not Stan Kroenke. Also Cronkite is still with us. But he'd probably pass over if he saw the WWE-NBA feud still continue on. RD has an excuse to bring Good Times' Mama swearing on the show. Vince's misguided effort to get Lakers fans is mocked. If he starts trying to bring Kobe Bryant and Lebron James to face each other on Smackdown I'll  give up all hope.

Global Internet's Greg wants to come on the radio progrem to clear some things about his company and the sexual allegations leveled against him. (:11) Despite this the Co-Fruitcakes continue their globalinternetbrothel.net conspiracy against him. Baseball's golden boy Jose Canseco in MMA. Zubaz-wearing Mr. T at a Cubs game. RD serenades him with Bette Midler. Blade enjoys Bette Midler farting during her period. Everyone has a fetish. (:17) Did I mention the May Mayhem Sale? It's your last chance! (Assuming May includes parts of June up to the 11th. Sadly, all copies of the Book of Lists Exclamation Point have been sold.)

Blade took a TRIP to the Convenience Store. (:20) He encountered promotional Snickers Nuggatbot bars for the new Transformers movie. It's just a normal bar with some urine-colored food coloring in it. RD makes fun of Bumblebee.

There's no Fan Fiction as Blade couldn't find anything good this week. (He's getting drunk, remember?)

Mike Check is still on his tour in the WWCR Party Van (:26) and when we reach him he's in Dalton, Georgia at some random "Gun & Knife Show" He might as well report from somewhere more dangerous. A petting zoo perhaps. He was once in the Dalton market at WWGA "Georgia's Finest. He was known as "the Original Georgia Peach" until a woman took it (I didn't know Ty Cobb was a cross-dresser) and then he became George Uh. There are some random words about Pong, and Blade wants to rape an imaginary character. Poor dope. Before things can get TOO exciting, Mike encounters this week's deadly threat - some gun demonstration. You know what happens; do I even need to say it? (Apparently down in Georgia they use live ammo and ignore safety precautions.) RD wonders where Mike gets all his stuff. He probably trades his bumper stickers for it.

To news more Obscure than even Mike Check, the Mantaur is running some Indy Fed in Omaha (:37). I sincerely hopes he runs it in his bull outfit. Matt Morgan will be there at some "Funplex"; will the Pink Assassin Midnight Rose also make an appearance? RD wants to manage someone against his ward as Blade has yet another "Big Announcement" this summer for some indie appearance. "Pretend you didn't hear that!" he tries (and fails) to disclaim.

The Bastion Booger now has his own action figure, with the same dimensions as the real life gimmick I reckon. Blade remembers a naked Mike Shaw being arrested on CNN. RD doesn't believe him. There's some mention of some Interactive with the Gymini Action Figures from last week - how many are being bought? There's your weekly threat of a new induction for ya. Can another Co-Hosss contest be far behind?

This week's Someone Bought This! has a new [prototype] Haku action figure; but he still doesn't come with crown as illustrated. What's the deal? (:47) Blade went rummaging in his basement as he usually does to hide from John Thomas and found some Wrestling Ring catalog he wants to auction. But will he sign it? RD reads a random Apter mag about Too Cool Scorpio fighting the Barbarian, and Liz Hunter on Ricky Steamboat. A new gift from the Trolla Corporation arrives for him (:51), This turns out to be the BabyTrolla, a baby doll giving news of wrestling-related births. In this case Dawn Marie has her second child, sincere congratulations to the couple. Blade can't say the word Caesarean properly (I was C-sectioned if you're not interested [As was I! --Iggy]) and says the word 'cunt' for the first time on the progrem. [This site rightchere is the only one on the planet where you'll find BabyTrolla or "Baby Trolla".]

Today's Question (:53) is a physical piece of paper. On an audio podcast. Er...The sender, one Matthew F. of San Jose, sends his message to Bill Apter courtesy of RD, wanting his own Membership Card. He really needs to post a picture of it on the site and/or forums as visual proof.

Sure enough, Mike Check calls in; (:57) he's not dead yet!

Blade: "Damn."

Mike was wearing a bullet-proof vest, though apparently it's slipped RD's mind that he should really call from the nearby hospital being checked for possible injuries, and not STILL BE AT THE GUN SHOW!!! [Hah, you Canadian with your excellent health care system! --Iggy] Dear Emperor. Blade loses his patience with the grizzled veteran, as he often does every week, and Mike plays a song for Victoria, now in TNA. RD wants the man deader than his career. How about sending Mrs. Deal to take care of him? She has a proven track record of eliminating TNA correspondents you know.

Jim Ross calls in yet again. (:60) RD is happy to hear him, anything to get rid of Mike. He has more Sad News, the regret of being stuck with Jason Hervey at Clash of the Champions while Vanna White was at Wrestlemania IV. No, not that, he doesn't have a "video blog" this week. Yeah, good luck with that. He's also still angry at Michael Cole, now just a "male cigarette".

But at least JR being around is better than at :67, with more Linda Hogan nonsense, with her calling out Brooke and her breasts. Makes me want to listen to more episodes of the radio progrem. That and Triple H trading an attempt at Thor for being He-Man.

Seventeen Roundball Syllables:
Jazz. Thunder. Magic.
That dog-shit RAW Monday had
none of the above.

Well it could be worse. Could you imagine Vince feuding with the Clippers? (Although he'd still get more of an audience than TNA's.)


Anonymous said...

I actually thought Blade was really annoying this week. I hope he can stay on the wagon, both for the show and his life. I don't plan on ever istening to this episode again.

ChokeHoganSucks said...

I know who's worse than Linda: the Huckster. He's a real piece of garbage who thinks his worthless son didn't do anything wrong and that his victim's family didn't suffer. Not to mention saying that he understood OJ. He and that murderer should rot in hell together and they most likely will.

Empire Hancock said...

I wanted to imagine that the BabyTrolla looks like the baby in Eraserhead.