77 minutes
Mike Check is 30 days away from 'breaking' Johnny Six's record, which makes me angry because I know they won't let him 'break' it and they'll probably have to find yet another TNA man. Or perhaps resurrect Nathaniel, an unforgivable sin. The Sad Music is played for that inevitability, and all the other former deceased people before him, except Stubby, who somehow returned. Blade: "Things like that happen sometimes." Mike himself is on his
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Let's go to Mike Check at that convention shall we? (:16) Some random playing of the theme song from down the hall is heard as Mike reports in with numerous WWCR The Whacker bumper stickers. While talking he bumps into sound bites of a probe droid, a tauntaun, a swearing Trandoshan, some 'red trashcan', some roving band of Jawas speaking Mexican. He essentially has no idea where he is or what film he's meant to cover. But he DOES get a Virgil-style hit to the groin from the aptly named Jake Lloyd Jr. RD jokes on Mike still non-reporting on TNA news, although these new-fangled Star Wars movies seem like news to report for the fellow Crappers!
Time for some Obscure Wrestling News. (:24) While Terri Runnell's house contest/spam has been canceled due to the lack of gullible people, the ripped-off entrants still have to be refunded their entry fee. The real Terri thinks they've already been paid. Sad News: she really wanted to help those people. The (outdated) site is still up to steal money, as far as I can tell. (:31)
More news about the Tranny: A site has a list of clients to her service, including Mickey Rourke. mickeyrourkebangsatranny.com is probably taken. Blade makes another reference to his escort roommate. Some random discussion about the Diva Search 'winners' turns into talk about midgets and a possible Midget Search, with Bridget the Midget and Midgets bouncing on couches, Blade insulting them all the while. What happened to cripples Blade, not good enough for you? Randy Orton, Father Time. (:41) RD does not understand him. Jillian Hall is engaged to a Dick. (:42) Gymini dolls. Blade wants to see how well the nearby store sells them every week.
Sir Alec does make a return appearance at the Fan Fiction Theater (:46) No story again, but he does read us some random Myspace message from New Jack. He's angry at everyone!Question of the Week. (:52) Goldenbane thinks people were angry Roddy Piper was fighting with Robert Downey Jr. Perhaps he didn't like that Charlie Chaplin biopic of his. Blade still wants to see some anus action.
Mike Check Strikes Back! (:56) He saw someone in Mandalorian armor calling himself Boba Foot, but he hasn't seen many women around yet. We're just in time to have him watch a lightsaber duel too...dangerously close too. Don't they have safety regulations at those places? Sure enough he gets 'struck down', Blade doing his "Noooo!" impression - but it's only a flesh wound and he's alright...for now. He plays Debby Boone's You Light Up My Life.
Before we can talk more wrestling about Ric Flair and Vince's feud with the NBA (what, on this show?) Jim Ross calls. (:64) He's angry - again - but at this point the sauce has already dried on the rack of ribs and not had that much of an effect anymore. jimrosssingspatbenatar.com is not yet taken, neither is jimrosspillowtalk.com. He's angry at working twice as long, or something or other. He also calls Michael Cole a faggot, which for some reason RD finds offensive enough to bleep out. He wants some human/jawa barbecue as seen in A New Hope. He has some vlog Big Announcement next week, meaning has Blade has three things he'll want to tell us but then will promptly forget about. The HorseTrolla asks about Mickie James' new outfit. (:71) Also Vickie Guerrero is some sort of dancing Miss Wrestlemania.
Seventeen Inches:
Vickie's got the Sash.
She's Miss Wrestlemania.
She doesn't miss meals.
Impressive,
Jedi Master Premier Blah
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