151 Total Non-Stop Awfulness: July 24, 2009

82 minutes

Sad News - the passing of Walter Cronkite, killed by RD and Blade. RD still thinks he'll be met by Mike Check in heaven, if he is actually dead of course. (Again.)

Blade wants an archive of every person mentioned on the show, preferably by a cripple. (He does mention us though!) Like myself he's unable to sleep well, being at a Poison/Def Leppard concert the other night where he was fistbumping people in a Fat Section. They talk a bit about the bands. Shhh, don't talk too loud, the Curse might be listening! Blade thinks Global Internet's Greg is randy for RD. (:10) RD wants to make amends with AngryMarks.com for forgetting them last week. He reads their ad copy as Redd Foxx this time.

Blade had to find someone for the Celebrity TRIP (:14) but couldn't for this week. RD wants Missy Hyatt on to debate the earlier Zombie, if she's not busy having men in her body. So no Trip this week. But the Midnight Rose is returning to WWE TV though... (:17) But not to a grocery store sadly. Hmmm, it's one of those days, eh?

RD is unsure about Sir Alec reading another story this week, particularly if it is about the Co-Fruitcakes again. (:18) Of course as Blade isn't feeling so good he can't 'attend'. His adoring audience still cheers for him regardless. RD thinks of him as the Pale Horse just staring in at the window. RD takes the opportunity to investigate Alec's involvement with Mike Check, as well as matters of continuity on the radio progrem. Perhaps his criminal past brings more to the eye of the 'Englishman'... Even worse, Blade still doesn't have his WWCR Bumper Sticker! Oh, the horror. RD got one though, confusing his mother. Blade thinks of her as an obscure He-Man mastermind.


RD feels the Faxtrolla needs maintenance. (:27) WWE is still attempting to get Bill Watts' Midsouth Library, owned by wife Ene "Ma" Watts, who will only provide it on condition that Eric Watts gets a job. The Co-Fruitcakes discuss all the stuff Vince does not currently own. RD wants him to purchase the promotion he worked for PWI. It leads to a random song that Mike Check would play, and Don Mason's first experience with a blow-up doll. (:35) "Longest segue ever." Chief Jay Strongbow seals the deal (:39) "good for a five second nonsensical appearance."

In other equally exciting news the Deever had a tooth removed. (:40) The pain makes her spell badly on Twitter which confuses RD. He tries deciphering what she says. Porn person Trina Michaels is joining TNA to provide her own sort. (:44) Blade wants Christie Canyon to come on the show and 'shop' with him. (Is that the euphemism in vogue these days?)

Today's Question (:47) is from Frank In New York (not LA), the former Circuit City Questioner. (2) He still wants to apply to be on the show. In response to that the two watch what may very well be the worst match in TNA history (which is definitely saying much, especially with it being IN A PPV NO LESS) between Sharmell and Jenna Morasca. (:52) Still, if trying to run ropes in drunken circles while slapping her opponent is too much for the former reality show 'contestant' she can always star in bad movies with Kurt Angle.

With Current Wrestling News at :62 RD and Blade discuss the terrible RAW show earlier. But at least there's that famous Podium they seem to love. Maryse continues to grow on RD.

Ezekiel Jackson's new theme is the old Brawl For All one with lyrics (:68) so Blade sings a new theme for Randy Orton with the old Summerslam theme. "WAL-KING SLOW-LY! TO! THE! RING!" he tries. RD also plays the old Coliseum Video theme, which sounds like far better Current Wrestling News music than the one we have now.

The Co-Fruitcakes don't have much to say that's already been said on the terrible and actual love triangle between Jeff Jarrett and Kurt and Karen Angle that's providing far more drama than anything that TNA is currently providing. (Kurt's probably out of the way trying to continue his 'acting' career.) (:71) So Stubby calls in. Not to be outdone Jim Ross calls in after. (:75) Karen Angle reminds him of Dark Journey, both prospect consumers that could try his various meats, like his signature smoked lamb.

Send this one home with Seventeen Syllables:
Jeff's banging Karen.
Why or why did she leave Kurt?
Must be Jeff's gold tooth.