152 Seguepalooza: July 31, 2009

Seguepalooza
81 minutes

We continue the mockery of ZZ Top at RAW last week. RD wants Vince to sign the Crickets to his shows. He also wants to resurrect old segments. Sadly Fantasy Booking Island is not one of them. Blade hints at a new segment with the help of The Twilight Zone. (:05) There is no show next week, as RD will be at lovely Phoenix, Arizona. Blade mentions a Loverboy song that RD doesn't know about. Time to hit YouTube! (Care of F.Sin.) See Mike Reno and Beth Phoenix star in Donkey Kong: The Movie! (:06) The video prematurely ejaculates, and so does Blade in response. RD reads new Angry Marks ad copy.

RD finally has a Celebrity to go with him to the Grocery (:16) This week it's WCR friend Jonny Fairplay. He goes to Trader Joe's, where his cereal of choice is Cookie Crisp. He was at some cantaloupe festival recently, but didn't get along with John Cena oddly. Some discussion about Cena ensues. But Mr. Fairplay can be found here.
For some reason we wonder about any potential Referees' TRIP to the Grocery (:32) of which we have some random tales of referees.

:36 Obscure News. Could Robert Englund be a potential RAW Guest Host? RD is surprised that Freddy Krueger will be played by Rorschach in the upcoming movie. Gymini doll sales figures - 4 sets left from three weeks ago. Another long Blade Braxton segue.

Eric Bischoff attempts to help economy by suggesting taxing fat people. Geez, I have no idea why no one is taking him seriously. (:44) taxfatpeople.com IS taken. Blade did his own taxing in his earlier days in yet another long segue.

There's a new Shockmaster action figure, and it comes with Stormtrooper helmet as illustrated. (:48) Blade does his Nathaniel impression. Blade takes note of the Mr Fuji figure with running number. The BabyTrolla cries, (:55) Francine gives birth. Congratulations to her!

PB's List (Exclamation Point) of favorite TNA "correspondents"

:57 The Question of the Week comes from Frank in Cleveland, asking about TNA Correspondents. The Co-Fruitcakes take a look over the list on our site, going over their people for a bit. Blade has a Big Announcement: (:60) He's found a new TNA Correspondent and he promises to have him on next time. Oh, and Tracy Brooks poses for Playboy (:62)

John Thomas calls in (:63) He is now looking for a Mike Chalk, of Chalk Outline.

:68 Current Wrestling News now has the Coliseum Video music. THE Brian Kendrick has been released. The new induction this week is of Gooker Nominee Braden Walker. A final settlement has been reached on the messy Hogan divorce, leaving Linda Hogan free for Blade. His hooker roommate used to lactate for money. He also tries comparing the Big Show's penis size to Shaq's on RAW and discusses Vince trying to anally rape Triple H on his birthday.

Seventeen Syllables:
Hunter is fourty.
Eat some cake and play pin the
Tail on the dead dog.

RD: "I have no earthly idea what you're talking about."

Premier Blah

Video RD & Blade watch a video by Loverboy

Video Jonny Fairplay's Trip to the Cantaloupe Festival!

151 Total Non-Stop Awfulness: July 24, 2009

Total Non-Stop Awfulness
82 minutes

Sad News - the passing of Walter Cronkite, killed by RD and Blade. RD still thinks he'll be met by Mike Check in heaven, if he is actually dead of course. (Again.) Blade wants an archive of every person mentioned on the show, preferably by a cripple. (He does mention us though!) Like myself he's unable to sleep well, being at the Poison/Def Leppard concert the other night where he was fistbumping people in the Fat Section. They talk a bit about the band. Shhh, don't talk too loud, the Curse might be listening! Blade thinks Global Internet's Greg is randy for RD. (:10) RD wants to make amends with AngryMarks.com for forgetting them last week. He reads their ad copy as Redd Foxx this time.

Blade had to find someone for the Celebrity TRIP (:14) but couldn't for this week. RD wants Missy Hyatt on to debate the earlier Zombie, if she's not busy having men in her body. So no TRIP this week. But the Midnight Rose IS returning to WWE TV though! (:17)

RD is unsure about Sir Alec reading another story this week, particularly if it is about the Co-Fruitcakes again. (:18) Of course as Blade isn't feeling so good he can't attend. His adoring audience still cheers for him regardless. RD thinks of him as the Pale Horse just staring in at the window. RD takes the opportunity to investigate Alec's involvement with Mike Check, as well as matters of continuity on the radio progrem. Perhaps his criminal past brings more to the eye of the 'Englishman'... Even worse, Blade still doesn't have his WWCR Bumper Sticker! Oh, the horror. RD got one though, confusing his mother. Blade thinks of her as an obscure He-Man mastermind.

RD feels the Faxtrolla needs maintenance. (:27) WWE is still attempting to get Bill Watts' Midsouth Library, owned by wife Ene "Ma" Watts, who will only provide it on condition that Eric Watts gets a job. The Co-Fruitcakes discuss all the stuff Vince does not currently own. RD wants him to purchase the promotion he worked for, PWI. It leads to a random song that Mike Check would play, and Don Mason's first experience with a blow-up doll. (:35) "Longest segue ever." Chief Jay Strongbow seals the deal (:39) "good for a five second nonsensical appearance."

In other equally exciting news the Deever has a tooth removed. (:40) The pain makes her spell badly on Twitter and confuses RD. He tries deciphering what she says. Porn person Trina Michaels is joining TNA to provide her own sort. (:44) Blade wants Christie Canyon to come on the show and shop with him.

Today's Question (:47) is from Frank In New York (not LA), the former Circuit City Questioner. He still wants to apply to be on the show. In response to that the two watch what may very well be the worst match in TNA history (which is definitely saying much) between Sharmell and Jenna Morasca. (:52) Still, if trying to run ropes in drunken circles while slapping her opponent is too much for the former reality show 'contestant' she can always star in bad movies with Kurt Angle.

With Current Wrestling News at :62 RD and Blade discuss the terrible RAW show earlier. But at least there's that famous Podium they seem to love. Also Maryse continues to grow on RD. Ezekiel Jackson's new theme is the old Brawl For All one with lyrics (:68) so Blade sings a new theme for Randy Orton with the Summerslam theme. "WAL-KING SLOW-LY! TO! THE! RING!" RD also plays the old Coliseum Video theme, which sounds like far better Current Wrestling News music than the one we have now.

The Co-Fruitcakes don't have much to say that's already been said on the terrible and actual love triangle between Jeff Jarrett and Kurt and Karen Angle that's providing far more drama than anything that TNA is currently providing. (Kurt's probably out of the way trying to continue his 'acting' career.) (:71) So Stubby calls in. Not to be outdone JR calls in after. (:75) Karen Angle reminds him of Dark Journey, both prospect consumers that could try his various meats, like his signature smoked lamb.

Send this one home with Seventeen Syllables:
Jeff's banging Karen.
Why or why did she leave Kurt?
Must be Jeff's gold tooth.

Premier Blah

Video That Jenna Morasca Match!

150 The Call-In: July 17, 2009

The Call-In
80 minutes

RD plays random ZZ Top songs for them being on RAW next week. Blade wants Vince to listen to the Human League. RD prefers Asia. They then discuss some more random timewasters. Get used to it, the whole show this week will be one big timewaster. Blade thinks the show is a good middle finger to any person who likes good taste, i.e. you and me. RD thinks the show has 1800 listeners, give or take a few thousand.

The phone rings, the first of many - why, it's none other than Global Internet's Greg! (:12) He disclaims a few things, including all those sexual allegations and the fact that he doesn't wear a yellow jumpsuit like Gilbert Lowell. Blade still thinks their sites can give you good chances with strippers though.

RD has an idea for the TRIP by taking a celebrity with him every week on the air. (:17) His first guest for this week - the Zombie. Yes, the former ECW wrestler, finally appearing on this show after that no-go with their first interview many years before. He still uses an old Walkman with Whitesnake tapes and thinks Missy Hyatt is working at the grocery late at night giving him dirty looks. Blade unintentionally insults him by asking about Doritos. No cereal for him though. He can also be found here and here.

The phone rings again, but it's just BM Punk. (:31) He gives his usual spiel. RD thinks of him as their 'first' repeat guest (I thought it was John Thomas), but he has 'better' timewasters than him though.

Like THIS man, Sir Alec. (:34) He's still evasive about Mike Check, knowing the true story that he faked his own death to work on another radio station. Today's story is about...RD and Blade? The Co-Fruitcakes manage to shut him down but can't stop his usual cheering audience. In response Gay Popeye calls in. Ah gyuk gyuk gyuk! (:42)

JR calls in, as jovial as ever. (:44) He still likes ZZ Top. That's all the Obscure News we'll get too, shoved up our fucking asses.

Today's Question! (:50) RD still pronounces Ed Salo's name wrong. He also reads his question wrong, which is about the WCR Curse. Blade remembers referencing Michael Jackson a few weeks before. And at risk Joyce DeWitt has a scary mugshot. RD: "What a mess this show has been!"

In response to talking about TNA reporting, RD's Dixie Carter impression calls in and makes a randy Blade laugh hysterically. Sugar. (:56) She needs to work on her Nathaniel-style laughter though.

In response to THAT Peter Gazer and his fancy music call in. (:61) He didn't 'kill' Mike Check either, although he's happy to see him gone. It's also happy for his birthday on the day as he takes a shot on the air - alcohol that is, not a bullet. His drunkeness eclipses even Blade, the man notes. most possibly preparing for his own next drunken attempt So Gay Popeye tries calling in again. (:69) Did I mention he's gay? Ah gyuk gyuk gyuk!

Thankfully that nonsense is brought out of the way by Stubby calling in (or pretending to call, he is a ventriloquist dummy after all). (:72) He spends his time making fun of Mrs Deal. He's also inherited Blade's love of Mickie James, this week in some sort of Raquel Welch-cavewoman bikini. I'm glad he didn't call his penis a mammoth tusk.

RD: "I like how there's been nothing on this show. It's kind of the epiphany of the last 150 shows all rolled into one big pile of nonsense."

Seventeen Syllables of Goodness:
Hundred-fifty shows.
Thousand-fifty references
to Mickie James' ass.

Master of his own domain,
Cosmo Premier Blah

Video The Zombie's Trip to the Grocery!