181 The WCR 5th Anniversary Telethon: August 13, 2010

182 minutes (!)

It's the 5th anniversary of WrestleCrap Radio. No, I can't believe it either.

With bad MIDI music playing. Blade remembers his favorite moments of meeting Mike Reno and Hollywood. RD's were meeting Vince Russo and the numerous characters the two have voiced. "I would not like to remember any shows without Angry Jim Ross." says he. He also forgot to credit the Ratings Reaper on their disc. Perhaps I should inquire if next time I should do all the detail smoothing... Meanwhile Blade is stuck on feces and the fetish of Bette Midler farting. Lord Alfred shills, as he is always a master at doing.

For the rest of the show the Co-Fruitcakes call and then hang up on the 12(+) Listeners on Skype. Because, sure, why not? RD asks them for one (1) favorite moment of theirs on the show, then Blade asks them a random question on Don (Mason) before RD quickly hangs up on them. Of course, he can only talk to so many in thirty or so hours, and I know for certain that neither I or Kelly asked to be called either. Regardless though, let's see who we get on the air. [I didn't either. Sorry to break kayfabe folks but there was only room for one drunk guy on the show this anniversary and Blade filled the quota - Clarence]

:13 Austin Gilliam, the Gilman. He takes the call while security guarding in the rain. In a lovely Southern accent he likes Don Mason and his attempts to have sex with a midget. He easily gets his question right and is subsequently congratulated by Sir Alec's audience.

:19 Chainsaw Rich, Master Control Operator in NY. The Fruitcakes worry that he won't be fired from his job while taking the call. He understood Mike Check, and certainly liked Blade losing his bet, and many years later RD losing his bet and having to sing. Alas, he fails the Co-Host trivia question so it is now 1/2.

:25 Amanda. She does the right thing and hangs up. Next then is The People's Regulator. He very much liked Sir Alec (Guiness)'s story about Frankie. He cannot answer the question so we're 1/3.

:32 Brandon, one of those who 'attended' the Roast. They have to call him through his girlfriend but before they cause further wacky hijinks they hit the voicemail. So they call David, Angry Jim's stunt double at that Roast with the same Vivaldi music as Alec. He makes a customary bad joke but makes up for it by getting the question. The tally is now 2/4.

:38 Mr. Snatch. He's incredulous of them calling while outside a bar. He's always liked Bedding Man. 2/5.

:43 T-Man from Blade's Myspace. They hit his voicemail too. Blade keeps wanting to call Amanda back for some reason, and this time he manages to get through. She also likes Bedding Man. 2/6.

:51 Frank In New York, the guy fired from Circuit City. He's still looking for a job. He listened to them talk about a Maxim list while on jury duty and couldn't stop laughing. 3/7

Blade has to take a leak and thus makes the show more bearable to listen to.

:59 Dominic "Mysterio". Like me he once listened to all the episodes in a week. He remember John Thomas calling and hitting on Blade for some reason. 4/8

:64 Bob Taco. He likes Jim drafted to Blade's Co-Fruitcake role during the last Draft and breaking down. 4/9

:69 Ed Salo can't be reached because he changed his number. They call Brian instead while RD looks for Ed's number. They hit Brian's voicemail too. They call another guy now, Byron. This time they get through. He remembers a (Horny) Jim Ross giving a replacement gift of Oklahoma Sooners boxers to the guy who won the auction for Katie Vick's outfit but refused to accept it. 4/10 Blade thinks everyone thinks Don is gay. (I just think he's bi.) RD finally reaches a very mellow Ed at :76. He's always liked the original (and classic!) tale of trashbagging. He's also enjoyed reading the Book of Lists. "It's a page turner," he says listlessly. 5/11

:82 Pete. He remembers the show falling apart when the two watch that Tarzan Boy music video. 5/12 Brian is called again and now they are successful. He had to put on his pants first. He remembers Nathaniel being replaced at his job. 5/13

:90 Robert Q, who's written for the site before. He also liked Blade's having something to say, especially when he had to denounce Demolition. 5/14

:96 Prime Time. He liked Jim Ross losing his restaurant. But disturbingly, does his young nephew listen to the show??? 5/15

:102 Roid Raging Douche Chills. He remembers his question being read immediately after Blade revealed he had sex with the Katie Vick outfit. 5/16

:108 Will. They talk to his wife who's also a listener, and also has a thing for her husband's Mike Check impression. Of course - how do you think he managed to impregnate all those women? He is fond of listening to the show while deployed in Iraq, but fails at asking RD for a freebie for the two of them. It was worth a try, at any rate! He breaks the streak of losing at answering the Don question (this one about him famously finding a guy fucking a horse), as the score is now 6/17.

:119 Newt. He doesn't pick up the phone. Blade has to go to the bathroom again while RD calls another guy named Anthony. He had inadvertently led to the duo having their infamous discussion about banging your meat (preferably with a stick). He sings White Lion and likes Greg calling in angered at all the false rumors spread against him and his legitimate web-hosting company. 6/18

:127 Josh. He had once paid to be on the show before. 6/19 At least this time RD actually says his farewells to him before hanging up.

:133 Rob the Nerd. He also enjoyed hearing about how Blade had sex with a pair of clothes. Before he gets any further the loudness of the Don Mason musical sting drowns them both out. He does get to answer the question correctly however. 7/20

:138 Shawn "Michaels" Breeding. He also had to put on his pants before answering. He liked their last year Christmas-themed episode. 7/21

:143 Toom E. Guci, a highly valued moderator on the WC forum. Unfortunately his wearing Jimmy Wang Yang boots at a restaurant named Dick's Last Resort makes Popeye call in, once again without having to have the telephone ring. Mr. Guci gets through with good humor but sadly fails at the question too: 7/22.

[As a somewhat unnecessary but interesting to me only aside, I think these characters and impressions are how RD expresses himself sexually. Blade, the sexually frustrated bachelor who drinks a lot and is a general raconteur is always a rowdy man to be around. This shows in his (drunken) speech of course. but also shows in the majority of the characters he voices. RD on the other hand, the more stable based man with a happy family and an occupation which sends him to Disneyland a lot, is much more subtle and indirect in how he 'handles' the matter (nudge nudge wink wink). It's very much a meeting of opposites in that regard. (And no, I'm still not Clarence.)] [Intresting theory. I may have to steal it. I shall call it The "Blah" defence - Clarence]

:150 Stevie J. of Angry Marks. At this point everyone is tired, but Blade still (drunkenly) talks to Lady J. about something or other. I couldn't catch the skein of what he was trying to say. Mr. J also likes trashbagging, but isn't good at this Don Mason trivia sadly. 7/23.

:161 Taylor, the valedictorian Blade mentioned last year, gets applause from the (still awake) audience. He also wonders if Blade wants to have sex with his grandmother. He can still remember the first episode, RD wondering if Blade is "ready for this." The man's as witty as I, he'll go far in this company I think. Sadly, he cannot answer the question, leaving our final Don Mason tally at 7 out of 24.

Tsk tsk. If those people were frequent readers of this site that percentage would be much higher, let me tell you! [/shill]

Blade interrupts himself with Sir Alec reading a letter from another man named Tony Nagle (:170) and John Kelly being quieter than usual, but at last Blade gets himself to sing about the show.

RD (still wanting a tear in Robert Gibson's glass eye): "I know I don't like where this is going."

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