I can’t believe it’s been one year since I’ve been recruited here. Since then I’ve had encounters with nerd zombies and had a Twitter war with Angry Jim Ross (out of all people).
Unfortunately my job plus being forced to find Mike Check made things way too difficult, and in fact I can’t release most of the stories yet on how I finally found the man due to some “POSSIBLE LEGAL RAMIFICATIONS” against us. So in honor of last year while I’m waiting on Clarence Mason giving me the OK to release I decided to bring in the holiday tradition like I did last year.
Last year I decided to do my own version of the Steve Martin “Saturday Night Live” classic bit “One Christmas Wish” and well…this year I decided to bring my heritage on the site. You see I…well…I celebrate Festivus, the Festival for the Rest of Us.
I’ll let this explain it:
Yup. That’s what I celebrate and since my family is out of town for the first time in years I have decided to do the annual “Airing of the Grievances” where I tell all of you how I feel about all of you the past year. Let’s start off with…
1. WWE’s latest thing they want to cram down our throats which is my new headache I call Ryback! The thing that I have with the artist formerly known as Skip Sheffield is this; when Ryback re-debuted IMMEDIATELY he was hyped as a killing machine that can’t be stopped! If you define “killing machine” as a big, muscle guy that can’t feel pain by taking on living stick men then yes! Then Ryback continues to basically not only become a walking accident but, man, his interviews are SO douchy! Ryback says in recent interviews that “he knew” that he was going to be a star. You know who else say this? “American Idol” train wreck losers that’s what! You know what I mean! The ones that sing SO bad that their notes register in notes that only dogs and inter-dimensional beings can hear! Most recently Ryback has said that “he no longer hears the Goldberg chants because they are gone!” Last time I checked which was last week’s RAW the “Goldberg” chants still exist! The guy’s a giant douche!
2. You know what I got a complaint about? The recent pop music that is out there. That’s the reason why most “American Idol” failures think they can be famous! Nicki Minaj can’t even sing and Lady Gaga can barely carry a GD note! Yet all they have to do is dress up like morons and they get people to like them! Hell Gaga wore a meat dress while carrying a purse with the C-Word on it! It is kind of like pro wrestling now when all you need is a flashy gimmick and screw the talent! Where’s the talent? Where’s the love? Where’s the desire to sing a damn good song not a song that will impress Simon Cowell or you have to do while wearing a blonde wig while stomping on an apple pie? Music is now a joke and I mean that literally!
3. Speaking of jokes I have a serious complaint about “The Creeps”, fans of “New Year’s Day”. For fans of the Podcast you know I’m friends with Ash Costello and Ash has been strongly for supporting individuality; yet her damn fans are trying to copy her! Honestly I never understood the whole fandom base when fans think they can do what they want and find it acceptable yet when others see them they go “WTF?!?” In this case they are copying Ash’s look, hair, nails, the whole she-bang! Also isn’t that a WEEE bit hypocritical when the fans try to take away Ash’s identity?!? The “Sheep Creeps” as I like to call them now need to respect Ash. Then again they are fans so they aren’t going to give a damn!
4. Speaking of fans yet again! TNA what the hell?!? Yeah I know that the whole Claire Lynch storyline was crap but how could you let the online wrestling fans bully the actress that played Claire Lynch off your programming?!? Was Claire like a temp or something so you decided not to protect her; and what the hell is Hulk Hogan talking about wanting the TNA World Title? I mean COME ON!
And uh…uh…okay I lost my train of thought there. Something to do with Cena, The Incredible Hulk, and hamsters. Okay now I remember.
5. Angry Jim Ross! I don’t know how you wanted a piece of me you SON OF A BITCH! I got three very familiar words for you! GO F**K Yourself!!!
I think the “Airing of the Grievances” is done with. Now if you will excuse me I got to find someone for the “Feats of Strength”.
Unfortunately my job plus being forced to find Mike Check made things way too difficult, and in fact I can’t release most of the stories yet on how I finally found the man due to some “POSSIBLE LEGAL RAMIFICATIONS” against us. So in honor of last year while I’m waiting on Clarence Mason giving me the OK to release I decided to bring in the holiday tradition like I did last year.
Last year I decided to do my own version of the Steve Martin “Saturday Night Live” classic bit “One Christmas Wish” and well…this year I decided to bring my heritage on the site. You see I…well…I celebrate Festivus, the Festival for the Rest of Us.
I’ll let this explain it:
Yup. That’s what I celebrate and since my family is out of town for the first time in years I have decided to do the annual “Airing of the Grievances” where I tell all of you how I feel about all of you the past year. Let’s start off with…
1. WWE’s latest thing they want to cram down our throats which is my new headache I call Ryback! The thing that I have with the artist formerly known as Skip Sheffield is this; when Ryback re-debuted IMMEDIATELY he was hyped as a killing machine that can’t be stopped! If you define “killing machine” as a big, muscle guy that can’t feel pain by taking on living stick men then yes! Then Ryback continues to basically not only become a walking accident but, man, his interviews are SO douchy! Ryback says in recent interviews that “he knew” that he was going to be a star. You know who else say this? “American Idol” train wreck losers that’s what! You know what I mean! The ones that sing SO bad that their notes register in notes that only dogs and inter-dimensional beings can hear! Most recently Ryback has said that “he no longer hears the Goldberg chants because they are gone!” Last time I checked which was last week’s RAW the “Goldberg” chants still exist! The guy’s a giant douche!
2. You know what I got a complaint about? The recent pop music that is out there. That’s the reason why most “American Idol” failures think they can be famous! Nicki Minaj can’t even sing and Lady Gaga can barely carry a GD note! Yet all they have to do is dress up like morons and they get people to like them! Hell Gaga wore a meat dress while carrying a purse with the C-Word on it! It is kind of like pro wrestling now when all you need is a flashy gimmick and screw the talent! Where’s the talent? Where’s the love? Where’s the desire to sing a damn good song not a song that will impress Simon Cowell or you have to do while wearing a blonde wig while stomping on an apple pie? Music is now a joke and I mean that literally!
3. Speaking of jokes I have a serious complaint about “The Creeps”, fans of “New Year’s Day”. For fans of the Podcast you know I’m friends with Ash Costello and Ash has been strongly for supporting individuality; yet her damn fans are trying to copy her! Honestly I never understood the whole fandom base when fans think they can do what they want and find it acceptable yet when others see them they go “WTF?!?” In this case they are copying Ash’s look, hair, nails, the whole she-bang! Also isn’t that a WEEE bit hypocritical when the fans try to take away Ash’s identity?!? The “Sheep Creeps” as I like to call them now need to respect Ash. Then again they are fans so they aren’t going to give a damn!
4. Speaking of fans yet again! TNA what the hell?!? Yeah I know that the whole Claire Lynch storyline was crap but how could you let the online wrestling fans bully the actress that played Claire Lynch off your programming?!? Was Claire like a temp or something so you decided not to protect her; and what the hell is Hulk Hogan talking about wanting the TNA World Title? I mean COME ON!
And uh…uh…okay I lost my train of thought there. Something to do with Cena, The Incredible Hulk, and hamsters. Okay now I remember.
5. Angry Jim Ross! I don’t know how you wanted a piece of me you SON OF A BITCH! I got three very familiar words for you! GO F**K Yourself!!!
I think the “Airing of the Grievances” is done with. Now if you will excuse me I got to find someone for the “Feats of Strength”.
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