The Curse of Tut
April 13, 1966
"A former academic who thinks he is really King Tut has returned. Batman and Robin seek his capture. A twist occurs, however, when King Tut's gang kidnaps Bruce Wayne. They are taking the millionaire in an ambulance. As Bruce tries to get free, the rear doors of the ambulance open and Bruce rides a cart toward a cliff."
78 minutes
"RD Reynolds: Nemesis of the Nile!" Vince wants to sell Joker mustaches. They would be licenses to print money (only to be stolen by a villain). Mrs. Deal does not like mustaches. Neither does Mrs. Russo, but without it "I look like a child."
They kept stopping and starting their watching of the day's episode to keep track of everything like a wrestling program. This includes explaining the motive of a villain for once, like Mr. Freeze earlier. However this was especially needed for Tut who was an original creation of the show (even Zelda had a one-off comic a year earlier), and would not make an appearance in paper for 43 years.
On a "deceptive quiet" afternoon at Gotham Central Park, goons take off their gold masks to place an Egyptian statue that is too large to fit into the blue van. (:08) For some reason this causes an onlooker to scream loudly. A female voice from the statue proclaims that "the great king of the Nile" is to claim Gotham City and any challengers are to be "smitten dead!"
RD will only be on Cameo like those he recently wrote about if he can charge $1.99 for his services. Vince: "Interesting."
For some reason Gordon calls the statue a sphinx despite it clearly not looking like one. He is then appalled at O'Hara thinking it's publicity for the museum: "Is there no limit to the brazen effrontery of the press agent? They'll pay for their stunts!" So he calls Bruce, who is with Dick and "hot" bra-less Aunt Harriet about to go to the museum. He is alarmed by "my dear commissioner" and calls him wit-less before hanging up on him.
So Gordon calls Batman, not noticing that like the last call it's Alfred who picks up first. He gives the cover of a thick book on "ancient Egyptian cat worship cults" for Bruce to give the slip to a very agitated Harriet. Complains she: "Mercy alive, such an impetuous pair! There should be some way to harness such energy!"
Again Gordon doesn't notice that Batman sounds exactly like Bruce. Dick: "Holy hieroglyphics! This might mean a battle royale!"
At Gordon's office they determine it is the doings of King Tut, having survived their last encounter in a warehouse fire "like a phoenix from the ashes." It's not like ancient Egypt had any famous connections with the afterlife that would necessitate better similes or anything.
Batman: "So our mad pharaoh has found himself a Nefertiti; some hapless female trapped IN A LIFE OF CRIME!"
They then consider calling the National Guard to blow up one random statue. Vince thinks it may have been a Trojan Horse. RD thinks it was more of a clown car due to its three foot width.
We do learn some more about our villain of the week; he was once a Yale professor before he hit his head during a student riot. Batman has more pity for him for his situation than anything.
Still, being in Yale doesn't usually get one a full scale throne room with a full contingent of four women and four goons in attendance. (:29) Tut orders the commencement of Phase 2. One goon wonders why he's revealing all this. Tut: "You're a twit." He then snorts his declaration to handle Batman. "Snick snack stare! Battlestations to the royal barge!" RD waves a bottle of Roddy Piper bubblegum soda like his scepter.
The Duo go to the park to examine the "Sphinx of Giza" which looks nothing like it. Another announcement warns people not to approach or risk the wrath of Anubis "the jackal guardian of the cemeteries...and that goes double for you Batman!" Rather than just pull at a convenient handle on the statue to open it, he ties a basic knot for it, revealing a random knife. Robin: "Holy whiskers! That was a close shave!"
Tut's Nefertiti watches and signals with a mirror. "CURSES!" he shouts. The Duo also see her and give chase: "HALT YOU DELUDED CREATURE!" She throws a smoke bomb to escape. Robin: "Holy asp!" So they have their stunt doubles briefly fight some sword wielding goons. Vince likens it to Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park and Ace Frehley having a Black stunt double.
They decide to investigate the museum further, so Bruce goes surrounded by the press. (:38) He opens one sarcophagus to reveal a 3500 year old mummy inside. Bruce: "I think it's safe to say this particular fellow will not rise again. Ha. Ha. Ha." But then it does...just to fall down. Bruce: "IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE?" Vince tried to contain his laughter being so close to Scott Steiner doing mathematics. He would have no idea how he would be on the Batman sets. Both are amazed by West's performances.
A reporter remarks on the curse being real as they put the remains on a medical gurney. Bruce tags along just because (he's rich), and so the medical staff can gas him in an empty lobby. Of course it's Tut as the mummy as they put Bruce on the gurney.
In the throne room Tut brushes his beard with a very small toothbrush. Nefertiti is also there eating a hot dog in a very sexual manner, which he disapproves of: "You abandoned wretch! How many times must I tell you? Queens consume nectar and ambrosia...not hot dogs!"
Nefertiti: "So I get hungry, living on nothing but figs and dates and pomegranates. Want a bite?"
Tut: "Bah! Unclean!"
She summons the "charioteer" by blowing a horn and shouting "Home toots! And step on it!"
Vince thinks Nefertiti was rough around the edges but her sexuality and clothing give her a "very disappointing" 6.5 Batpoles because it could have been more. RD gives her 7 for too much makeup. Shockingly enough for its time, Nefertiti's actress is regionally appropriate, played by Israeli-American actress Ziva Rodann. She had an uncredited appearance in King Creole, which Vince knew was Elvis Presley's favorite movie music wise. RD: "Fascinating."
At the park Tut has Nefertiti go through some lines (on cue cards just for the expected upside-down sight gag) to recite through the statue. They inform the people standing around eating popcorn that Bruce has been abducted. Tut: "Remember Batman: Bruce Wayne's life is in your hand."
Bruce himself is still in the ambulance, which looks too much to the Co-Bros like the Ecto-1. As he's not being tied down to anything but the gurney he bounces all over the place as they go down a rather bumpy road. Says one goon to his colleague: "You know Harry, that Tut's a kook, but he's got brains!" In the Batcave Robin has to frantically answer Gordon asking for Batman. (:55) Mrs. Deal wondered if Robin was on cocaine. Bruce manages to roll out the back out of the vehicle only to find himself rolling down a hill towards a 300 foot drop into a pile of dirt.
Narrator: "Holy Cliffhanger! Bruce Wayne hurtling toward an awesome abyss! What will be his fate? How can he possibly be saved this time? Be in front of your Bat-sets tomorrow night. Same time. Same channel. One hint: the most horrendous is yet to come!"
The two enjoyed the episode greatly, especially the change of pace with the villain and writing.
Vince subjected himself to watching the last part of the Royal Rumble where a celebrity took out half the wrestlers. (:60) RD will always love Andre the Giant strangling Bob Uecker: "DON'T WORRY ABOUT VANNA WHITE!" He also remembers heel Howard Finkel in Memphis. Vince had him as his first driving partner in WWF who would sometimes drive with his feet and gave him his first Dairy Queen Blizzard.
Vince has a conspiracy theory about Triple HHH's "cardiac event" being a cover to get rid of him from the company. RD thinks the medical situation was far worse than reported upon. "Maybe he thinks he's King Tut now."
- Special Guest Villain: King Tut (Victor Buono)
- URLs not taken: 1. VinceRussoManChild.com
- SPEAKING OFs: 1. Opposites
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