Episode 39: Holy Blackbeard!: May 1, 2022

Walk the Straight and Narrow
September 8, 1966
"Batman and Robin escape their previous peril and are back in action seeking to foil the Archer and his gang. After pulling off a counterfeit job, the villains head for their boat, planning to take their loot safely to Switzerland. The Dynamic Duo set off in the Bat boat to try to stop their escape."
63 minutes

"RD-President Mr. Dale Fan Club" is pleased by Vince's pronunciation of the word 'archer'. Vince took a while to realize Archer was actually from Brooklyn. RD is ashamed they had already forgotten Pauline.

Male Pattern Baldness Robin is already present 25 seconds into the day's episode. RD was compelled to look him up as then 39 year old Victor Paul who did a heck of a lot of work over a 55 year career on film and TV. Vince applauds his knowledge. 

Vince: "Strapped to poles."
RD: "Something you may have booked."

Batman muses "there's no place to go but up" before the two use their Batsprings in their shoes to launch them to stratospheric orbit and then bounce around.
Batman: "We've got your number, Archer!"
Archer: "Impossible, my dear Sheriff of Gotham-ham! My number's unlisted!"
Then Marilyn accidentally breaks his "ego making" sound machine, causing the villains to flee. The Duo free themselves from their bonds to secure Alfred.

Cut to Dale's office where he sits at his desk using a feather quill pen. (:14) RD laments he was not a recurring character on the show. Dale is too busy with his writing to notice the Duo in his office until they cough to get his attention and a "mmmmm." In closed teeth: "I like that cape, Batman. Very chic. Wash and wear?" Batman asks him about Bruce's money (coming "fresh from the government"), suspicious of his activity since his mouth doesn't move.

In Archer's new lair under Police HQ he laments Marilyn not speaking as they do despite their coming from the same Brooklyn neighborhood. RD bemoans the police's constant incompetence. Dale comes in with a knock on the door to tell them through his teeth that Bruce's money is in transit in exchange for his share. Archer: "Sticky wicket! Howest speak in thee unique vernacular!" (Perhaps he speaks that way because he too is from Brooklyn.)

They ambush the armored car with crooked arrows to go around the weak points and hit it with gas and smoke. This forces the security out while still leaving the keys inside, so that Marilyn can just go and take it. Yet when the car is later found the money is still inside.

RD wonders why Vince keeps defending the police despite how terrible they are at their job. 

"Eight hours later" at Stately Wayne Manor Gordon calls Bruce to remind him to give away the money at a charity event. (:28) He also tells him the Duo will be there. Bruce has "always wanted to meet them" despite having already done so several times already. He and Dick blow off a line-less but bra-wearing Aunt Harriet who gives them the eye on the way to the Batcave with Alfred. The butler almost goes down the Batpoles before he realizes he can't do that and takes an alternative route.  Bruce does not change into his outfit as he is supposed to meet himself.

Dale is also at the event with Bruce, relieved through his teeth that the money is safe. "It wasn't any help to those two up there," and he points to the Duo of Bat-Alfred and Robin on a roof. RD thinks Alfred fits the suit pretty well. Vince agrees although the shot wasn't very flattering. He also didn't paint over his mustache like Cesar Romero. 

The event is run by Gordon's fraternity colleague Marshall Roland, "Commissioner in charge of poor people". Oh, so he's a homeless camp chief. Despite the offer of donating $10 million in moneybags (individually in single bills) only 20 recipients show up. The first person up takes out his magnifying glass to see it is blatantly counterfeit with the Archer's face on the bill, and calls on his peers to riot. 

Bruce rushes to the "insurance office" as Gordon calls on the Duo for their help. On their way down Bruce gives Alfred his Batspeech Imitator, which he uses from a (social) distance of 100 feet since he has a cold. (Good thing he also has a mask.)
Gordon (to Robin): "Tell him to get some relaxation, and make sure to eat all his veg-e-tables."

The Duo exit, leaving Bruce with Dale worrying about his job, then all of a sudden leaving. RD had little idea what he said. Bruce shakes his hand, then wipes his hand on his shirt in disgust. 

In the Batcave Robin whines about surrendering so (real) Batman has to poetically speech about the entire picture. He thinks the villains will escape to Switzerland via boat. "To the Batboat via Batmobile!" 

At a traffic stop a woman laments she cannot drive as fast as the Duo can, to which a cop remarks that in his off-hours he lectures on driving safety. (:45) Now THERE'S an idea for any struggling DC artists who may be reading this for some reason: Batman's Driving School. RD knows one of the cars was a '66 Mustang (Fastback) because it was his first car (for six months). Cue reused footage of the Batboat from the Movie. 

The Bros are unsure if the boat is Archer's or Dale's, because the latter complains through his teeth of seasickness. The Duo board with raised Batshield to deflect the goons' arrows (after Robin ages 30 years in hiding), so they pull out swords.
Archer: "By thunder, thee will walk the plank deck."
Robin: "Holy Blackbeard!"
Then Marilyn just gives them swords to even the odds.
Batman: "I doff my cowl to you, Maid Marilyn."
Cue more Olde English speech bubbles as the Duo easily win.
Archer: "Et tu, Brute?"

Barbara Nichols (then 38 at filming) declined performing in striptease to focus on modeling and was even considered to rival (non Maid) Marilyn Monroe. Sadly she passed away 10 years later due to liver failure. Vince gives her 3 Batpoles (+1 from not doing further adult work). RD gives her 4.5. "So she was a year younger than Robin!" 

At Stately Wayne Manor the two do some archery. Alfred wants to show how he was termed William Tell by putting an apple on Dick's head but the Duo defer so he has to shoot at it on a stand. He shoots with trembling hands and hits below it. Dick: "Right between the eyes!" 

The two enjoyed the story, in case it wasn't obvious. 

Jonathan Plombon sent RD a book he had co-written about Herb Abrams' UWF. Unsurprisingly Vince had little idea who he was. (Not a slight against him though. Say what you will about his writing legacy, but at least he didn't go out in self-destructive fashion like Abrams did.)

RD has no idea if he and Bryan will release a 20th Anniversary Edition of The Death of WCW since they hardly talk about wrestling. I expect them to start a radio progrem about Bea Arthur now. How good is Bryan's Jim Ross impression?

  • Special Guest Villain: The Archer (Art Carney)

  • Screen Captures: 4. RD, RD, RD, RD
  • I didn’t even know he was sick:  1. Victor Paul

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