Episode 45: Holy Sarcophagus!: June 19, 2022

The Spell of Tut
September 28, 1966
"King Tut returns with a new plan involving preserved specimens of extinct Egyptian scarabs."
55 minutes


Vince couldn't keep up with the episode like he did when he last watched it by mistake. 

Narrator: "A quiet, balmy midnight in Gotham City. Not a creature is stirring, except these creatures - though they're barely stirring. And this creature - an Egyptian King? And a tank full of crocodiles? In our beloved borough?" 

Cue bad footage and stock footage of crocodiles. 

Tut's henchmen crack open a safe but ignore the 68 karat diamond to instead get some beads "or my name ain't Amenophis Tewfik!" RD thought he was Amadeus Toothpick. The owner, credited as "Man of Distinction", appears with an eye-patch and a gold silk robe and a gun only to be overpowered. Vince thinks he borrowed the robe from Hugh Hefner. RD has him explain Hugh Hefner. 

The MOD explains the theft to Gordon in his office while wearing a bandage wrap around his head.
Gordon: "I don't understand why you'd be hurt so bad to get hit by a lead pencil."
MOD: "It wasn't a pencil. It was a pestle!"
Then Ms. Patrick, Gordon's assistant for the day, appears with a plateful of drugs for her superior as he and O'Hara pick up the Batphone.
Oddly enough the phone is just laying there for Bruce to pick up. Dick: "Holy hieroglyphics! This might mean a battle royale!" 

This leads to one of RD's favorite scenes of the whole series. (:09) Batman in Gordon's office asks to call Yale to see what Tut is up to.
Ms. Patrick appears again with Gordon's drugs: "Something for youuuuuu, Batmannnnnn?"
Gordon: "NO! NO PILLS!"
Batman: "No thank you, my dear, I seldom resort to medication of any kind. You see, one's body has remarkable restorative powers of its own."
RD: "This is the same man who is constantly taking Batpills."
He shows Ms. Patrick staring at Batman's bulge - I mean utility belt, while Gordon looks away in disgust, much to Vince's consternation.
Gordon agrees to ask Ms. Patrick to call the university.
Batman: "Dean Gerber? This is Batman. ... Batman. ... B. A. T. M. A. N. ... That's right, in Gotham City."
Tut suffered yet another injury when falling off a podium and has since gone missing. Batman explains to O'Hara they actually stole "scarabs imprisoned in amber". He gets Ms. Patrick back to check the classifieds to check the drugstores for further leads. Instead she brings more pills.
Batman: "She seems eager to please; that's a virtue in anyone."

Sure enough Tut and henchmen, in surgical clothes for some reason (including a hole in Tut's mask for his beard), are in the Apex Apothecary trying to revive the scarabs. (:19) Tewfik: "We're givin' them the hot foot!" Tut has to clarify they're going to shock them with 100,000 volts to reanimate them. One goon, the Royal Apothecary as played by a very young Sid "Captain Spaulding" Haig, is particularly creepy and giddy about their plans.

Tut: "Breathe, my children! Free yourselves from the arms of Osiris! Shake off the shackles of the sepulcher! Live... Live... Live!"
Tewfik: "They ain't livin'."
So they go to 200,000 volts. Still nothing.
Tut: "Failure! Abject failure!"
He then has a tantrum before they actually do come back to life.
Tewfik: "How 'bout that - that cockroach is really kickin'!"

Meanwhile as the Duo are climbing up the building they are interrupted by Green Hornet and Kato watching from the window. (:25)
Green Hornet: "What are you doing here?"
Batman: "I might ask you the same question."
Green Hornet: "Pursuing the enemies of law and order, wherever they happen to be."
Batman: "Aren't you in the wrong city?"
Green Hornet: "On special assignment for "The Daily Sentinel." You know my aide, Kato."
Batman: "Robin, the Boy Wonder."
[Robin lets go of his rope to wave.]
Green Hornet: "Well, I don't want to hold you up from your crimefighting."
Batman: "Thank you. And good luck to you, Mister Hornet."
Kato: "Nice to have met you."
[The window closes.]
Robin: "Gosh, Batman, what are they dressed like that for?"
Batman: [Shrugging] "Hmmm?"

They make it inside the building.
Apothecary: "What form of curative do you require?"
Batman: "We need nothing."
Apothecary: "I don't carry a drug called "nothing.""
He then opens up a box to launch some dust at them before trying to deter them from venturing further. Batman persists, leading into a quick fight. The goons distract them with sneezing powder to cover leaving through the fire escape.
Recovering they find one scarab left behind.
Robin: "Holy Frankenstein! It's alive!"
Batman chastises him for not knowing his Egyptology for not knowing what a scarab is, for some reason. (Shouldn't that just be biology?)

Back in the Batcave, Batman continues to chastise a yawning Robin for not knowing his self-taught hieroglyphics or periodic table. The Bros wonder if he was referencing scarab limbs or lips for Tut's chemical formula that could potentially mind control the whole city. Batman remembers their last encounter with him a year ago. Robin: "How could I have forgotten?"

In his lair Tut hears one of his sphinxes was bought by Bruce, by a goon reading the news in the slowest pace possible. "Sheer spite! Just because I kidnapped him last year!" Bruce is supposed to donate it to Scotland Yard, and for a moment Tut is glad to share space with infamous British criminals before he reconsiders and orders his goons to steal it back.

At nightfall at Stately Wayne Manor, the goons hide behind bushes in the stereotypical cartoon manner. They take the sphinx (with Robin inside it) as Bruce watches from his window. 

Robin then notifies Bruce on the lair's location as the Apothecary creates the chemical while randomly praising the old gods. Tut: "And praise to me too." The Apothecary asks to get back to his shop. Tut: "Don't be a boobie." They plan to give the chemical to Gordon through Ms. Cleo Patrick.

Of course then Robin has the timing to fall out of the sphinx, so Bruce has to track him through the radioactive pellets in his Batbelt. Robin attempts an escape while the Apothecary chases with a huge syringe, only to find himself over the crocodiles. Tut: "Get him! But watch out for the scarabs.[To the crocodiles] I told you, my lovelies, if all went well, you'd soon be dining on something better than frogs and fishes! Not much better, granted, but you're due for a snack. I hope you all have healthy appetites! Eat your din-din!"
Narrator: "Is Robin doomed? Those crocodiles look mighty hungry! Was Tut right? They'd soon be having a tasty dinner? Or was he merely shedding crocodile tears? Above all, will Batman arrive before the Boy Wonder's perch slides away? Tune in your Batsets tomorrow. Same time. Same channel." 

Buono's performance reminds Vince of one of his other friends and podcast hosts, Bin Hamin, who similarly commits to the role. (I wonder if Tut was one of his influences.) RD also has more respect for him and his acting, and liked his goons in turn. Vince wonders if the originally made characters came from the guest actors themselves in order to make an impact. 

RD loved the character of Ms. Cleo Patrick alongside Pauline's. However if he had her as his pill-pushing assistant he would at least be somewhat cautious. 

RD wrote about Stampede Wrestling for the first time. They will also write about AEW for the first time. Finding video material for inductions in the original days would be a major journey for him (and his wife.)

  • Special Guest Villain: King Tut [2] (Victor Buono) [2]

  • Screen Captures: 1. RD
  • SPEAKING OFs: 1. Creepy
  • Window Celebrity: 2. Van Williams as Green Hornet, Bruce Lee as Kato
  • (Soon To Be) Window Celebrity: 1. Sid Haig

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