Episode 50: Holy Baubles!: July 24, 2022

The Clock King Gets Crowned
October 13, 1966
"Aunt Harriet purchases a clock as a birthday present for Bruce Wayne, unaware that it is a plant by the Clock King. But when the villain learns that a control switch meant for his final caper has been errantly placed on the timepiece, he breaks into Wayne Manor to retrieve it, nabbing some valuable watches in the meantime. Batman and Robin shortly deduce his master plan and race to stop him."
43 minutes

RD Asks: O'Hara or Gordon? He shows off his Wonder Woman shawl and hat knitted (not crocheted!) by Mrs. Deal.

RD also doesn't like the Beach Boys, unlike Vince. He once wrote a Beach Boys song in five minutes. Sadly he does not get Mike Check to talk about it.

Sad News: Vince looked up that Mr. Slezak committed suicide in '83 due to overwhelming health problems from old age (in his 80s). (:07)

King of course leaves the trapped Duo before they suffocate. Robin suggests using their capes to plug the gap but Batman rudely shuts him down. Instead they tip it over "like a squirrel in a cage" and run it into a truck to break it off camera. 

Vince once encountered a 700 pound bull moose in his backyard that was following a crick. (:11)

Meanwhile Aunt Harriet is wearing a bra at Gordon's office. RD Asks: O'Hara or Gordon? Gordon's door is always open for a "lady as charming as her" which makes RD think it's he that Harriet is having a threesome with. She invites them and their wives to a party at Stately Wayne Manor. RD thinks she may be wanting a fivesome now. 

Then the Batphone rings confusing her. "What on earth is that?" Gordon is on the phone for two seconds just to be checked on. She is impressed by the Duo "with no offense to your police department."
Gordon: "No need to apologize, Mrs. Cooper. We are all forever in debt to the Dynamic Duo, so intrepid and yet so... incognito. "
Once she leaves Gordon tells O'Hara that Batman had actually escaped the King's trap. 

Meanwhile King is in his lair working on an "evil box that Batman and Robin will never know about because they are dead." (:17) He then turns on a camera of Harriet in extreme close-up of her bad teeth. 

Smash cut to Harriet; she has returned to the Manor with a clock as a birthday gift for Bruce before she goes to take a nap. 

Smash cut to a goon being concerned of a button placed on the clock. Instead of the gas for Alfred, it's the atomic energy directional control switch that should have been for the evil box. So now they have to go and correct this. King tells Millie to stay hidden. She will try "if I can remember all that."

Nothing of Millie really stood out to Vince so he gives her 6.5 Batpoles. RD gives her 8.5 and thought she was underutilized. Actor Eileen O'Neill only had a working career in the 60s before vanishing into obscurity. 

In the Batcave the Duo dust off the sand on themselves before it gets too coarse and gets everywhere and they have to take the high ground. Robin wishes he knew where the criminals were.

Smash cut to them sneaking into the living room and lightly poking Alfred into unconsciousness. 

Smash cut back and forth between the two places while the Narrator keeps saying "meanwhile". 

Harriet screams for help as she is kidnapped. Alfred wakes up and sets off the alarm in his belt for...Bruce and Dick to show up. I guess because Batman and Robin are still considered "dead"? King declares he wants to "lift some baubles from this handsome residence". They then throw Harriet at the two (now without a bra, perhaps it too was stolen?) to cover their escape. 

Back in the Batcave Batman does some soldering while they do some more analyzing. King mentioned a blacksmith while they were trapped, referencing one that may be in a clock.
Batman: "'Smithy' Smith was recently arrested for armed robbery. He's back pounding rocks."
Robin: "I can just see him now, old 'Smithy' Smith. He used to be a real swinger in the safe and lock circuit. Now he's swinging a hammer on a rock pile."

Thus they finally go to Gordon's office to ask for any arrivals at the heliport. Gordon has a "heel-o-copter from the nuclear laboratory of the Gotham Institute of Technology" of a caesium atomic clock worth $1 million. Then for some reason we finally get the Batmobile startup sequence that is usually reserved for earlier in a story.

King meanwhile is in the clock tower with his evil box. When it is hit at 5 o'clock it will shoot out gas across the city while they fly off in the helicopter. He does note that "every man wants a beautiful woman by his side at the climax of his career." The Co-Bros note his manners and politeness. Vince only now notices the Penguin's attraction to men. 

The Duo finally show up. (:32)
King: "No! It can't be true. You're dead. You have to be dead!"
Robin: "Maybe we're living on... borrowed time."
Batman: "But now, it's round-up time!"
Cue an actually good fight for once, including Batman having a goon be hit by the clock hammer with a giant "KLANG", and rotating around with the clock to beat up the rest. 

Thus the bell tolls for King and his schemes.

Back in Gordon's office, O'Hara congratulates the Duo: "I couldn't have done it better meself!" Batman almost rolls his eyes at him. Sadly they can't make it to Bruce's party but: "I find it only fitting that Clock King, who made times serve his crimes, must now serve time himself." Then they excuse themselves to go prepare for being surprised.

Thus the episode ends before its time.

Vince thought Ma Parker was better than Clock King. Thankfully his all time favorite Egghead is up next.

Oddly neither bring up that the story was written by Batman's co-creator Bill Finger. Nor do they mention that there is another earlier made Clock King (though not by Finger), original name William Tockman, who often fights Green Arrow.

RD promises some changes are coming to WC.

  • Special Guest Villain: The Clock King (Walter Slezak)

  • SPEAKING OFs: 1. Heroes and villains
  • URLs not taken: 1. FivewaywithAuntHarriet.com

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