Episode 51: Holy Bill Of Rights!: July 31, 2022

An Egg Grows in Gotham
"Egghead steals the Gotham City charter. He finds a loophole that could give him control of Gotham City if descendants of the original founding families (including Bruce Wayne) do not pay nine raccoon pelts to Chief Screaming Chicken on time. Not only is he interested in stopping the payment, but Egghead believes he also has a lead on Batman's true identity."
67 minutes

Vince has been looking forward to his favorite villain in the show. RD: Me No Know Either, does not also know it's a reference to A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. 

The original airdate of October 19th (1966) is also the birthday of Jon Favreau, who also directed the live animated action The Jungle Book. Vince is a huge fan of his. SPEAKING OF Marvel, they had an earlier Egghead of their own at this time, most commonly fighting the Avengers. DC's was another original for the show.

Narrator: "A sunny Wednesday morning in Gotham City. The sort of Wednesday that makes you wish it were Sunday."

Among the items on display in Gotham City Hall is its official charter, which proves a popular sight to the tourists and the ten foot tall Egghead just walking among them. His woman Miss Bacon questions its protection from theft before Egghead steals it and gasses the place with a placed egg.

Eggy: "Eggscelent. I might even go as far as to say: eggsquisite."

The Co-Bros try to make sure that the Egg-style is to symbolize his supersized brain and intellect.  

In Gordon's office he wonders how on earth such a crime could occur just by letting a villain walk in without anyone stopping him. He is also confused by why he would steal "Gotham's most priceless procession".  

Vince: "I'm just saying once a criminal doesn't necessarily mean always a criminal."
RD: "On this show it does."
Vince: "...yeah that would be true."

Alfred picks up the phone with another eye roll. Bruce and Dick and bra-ed Aunt Harriet are in the family room 'fondling dead animals'. Bruce tells his ward that the city was founded by three families: the Savages, the Tylers, and the Waynes, on land on Gotham Rock leased from the Mohicans for nine raccoon pelts every five years. RD thinks it's just cover for the typical colonization takeover of the native land. 

(Also of note are that the Mohicans, as Eastern Algonquian, have historically been a northeast/New York based tribe, which fits better to Gotham City being in New Jersey than as the west coast locale its portrayed as here. As you'll see though this is the least of their mischaracterizations in the story.)

For this payment Bruce (Wayne) with Pete Savage and Tim Tyler are to make the delivery to one Chief Screaming Chicken. He got his skins "from a very popular crooner from the 1920's who had fallen on hard times." Vince believes he's referring to Rudy Vallée, who would get his revenge by appearing later on the show as a villain. Alfred tells him he has a "contract to be read".
Harriet: "Those two are so busy, I'll wager Batman and Robin don't get around as much as Bruce and Dick."
Alfred: "I rather doubt that, madam."

Gordon: "Bad news, Batman! Egghead is back with a carton full of crime!" (:19)

At the office:
O'Hara: "He's a tough egg, Batman, the smartest man in the world."
Robin: "The second smartest man in the world."
O'Hara: "Present company excepted, of course."
Batman: "The Gotham City charter; aside from its constitutional edicts, its purpose is to act as a treaty between the Mohican Indians and the Founders."
Robin: "Holy bill of rights! Maybe Egghead wants to start a war between the Gotham City citizens and the Indians!"
Batman: "I rather doubt it, Robin. There's only one Indian left, he'd be outnumbered ten million to one."
He thinks Eggy will just focus on the leasing conditions, perhaps with a deal with Pete and Tim. Pete spends most of his time between Gotham and Paris as a "bon vivant" (since it's a French term you see), and Tim is currently at Tyler Stadium watching his baseball team play the Mets Pets. Speaking of pets, RD first met Bryan Alvarez when he interviewed him for Penthouse.
Gordon: "That leaves only Bruce Wayne."
Robin: "I wonder where he is?"
Batman: "Unquestionably out doing something inconsequential with his youthful ward Dick Grayson. You know how those millionaire playboys are."
They then go off to meet Screaming Chicken. 

Eggy's lair is the Ghoti Oeufs Caviar Company with egg styling all over the place to match the puns and his goons Benedict and fully Caucasian Foo Yung. Vince does not want any slander from RD on his eggsxecutive secretary Bacon. For once he finally remembers Pauline's name. Also Eggy is totally having things over-easy with her. 

Upon eggsxaming the charter, he finds that defaulting on the pelt paying will revert ownership back to the Mohicans. "We've caught them with their eggspost facto down!" 

Cue eggs-plicit close-up as Eggy stares at the camera before we cut to Screaming Chicken's "Roadside Teepee", with servings of that Mohican staple: blintzes. The Batmobile pulls up as a Native American version of the Battheme plays. Then Batman and the Chief do a greeting ritual handshake that is as bizarre as it is stereotypical.
Screaming Chicken: "You're the only person Gotham City know traditional Mohican greeting."
Batman: "I've long been a student of your tribal customs."
The Chief asks for an increase to 12 pelts, which would make sense if we are adjusting for new exchange rates and inflation.
Batman: "CONTRACT'S FOR NINE!"
Screaming Chicken: "Indian poor businessmen. My cousin sell Manhattan for 24 dollars. Could have got 35."
But he will be at the ceremony later today.
Batman: "Ciao Chief!"
After the Duo speed off Eggy and goons emerge from hiding. The Chief will still stick with the old deal unless it is not honored or he gets a "highest bidder".
Screaming Chicken: "You make mighty big talk, kimosabe."
Eggy: "Kimosabe? What does that mean?"
Screaming Chicken: "Me no know. Me hear on radio. Very old word."

(In case it wasn't obvious, Screaming Chicken is not originally indigenous in any sense of the word, unless you count when he played Roaring Chicken on F Troop.)

Back at the Batcave Batman wonders where the lair is. This leads them to Ghoti Oeufs; fish spelled phonetically as a joke, eggs in French: caviar. (:35)

Cut to the lair where Screaming Chicken is already. He signs a deal with Eggy for $100 a month and all the eggs he can eat.
Eggy: "I have great eggspectations for our relationship, Chief. I'll tell you what I'll give you as an added bonus: you may have the import eggsport concession for all genuine American Indian blankets made in Japan."
Screaming Chicken: "Oh, you are one heck of fine pale face. You no Indian giver."

The Duo's stunt doubles get inside just as Eggy wants to take a nap.
Batman: "There'll be no rest for the wicked today, Egghead."
Robin: "Boy, do you guys have egg on your faces!"
Batman: "All the king's horses and all the king's men won't be able to put you together again."
Cue Eggy's stunt double doing an awful job in an otherwise alright fight. Robin gets overwhelmed and the Chief pulls out a large machete.
Screaming Chicken: "We give Boy Wonder very short haircut."
Batman: "You chicken...turned chicken?"
Then Robin breaks free.
Batman: "You put all your eggs in one basket, Egghead, a fatal mistake."
Robin: "Prepare yourself for an eggspeditious defeat."
Batman: "That's very apt, Robin."
Robin: "Oh, glad you liked it."
Eggy: "The yolk's on you!"
He throws a laughing gas egg to cover their escape, leaving the Duo rolling on the floor laughing: "This is even funnier than the Joker!" This is despite his not yet using any (signature) gas so far.
Batman then gives Robin "sad pills" that he just seems to carry around everywhere for some reason. I could see him doing such a thing in today's stories when he needs some angst to remember his parents or something. RD thinks he took some from Miss Patrick's confiscated drugs.

Back at the Batcave:
Batman: "That poor misguided Redskin! He's obviously under Egghead's influence!"
He calls Pete's number from memory astonishing Robin with a reference to a girl he and Pete once dated. Pete responds with a French accent as he is held at gunpoint by Eggy's goons who just happened to be there.
Batman then calls Tim with a regular remembered number.
Robin: "ZOWIE! You're a whiz Batman! You remembered someone's phone number! When's the last time you called him?"
Batman: "Yesterday."
Tim is being held at acid egg point by Eggy as he answers. "What do you want from me, Egghead? I am just a poor major league baseball-team-owner."
Bacon: "How 'bout season tickets? I love halfbacks."
Eggy: "How eggsasperating."

Back at Stately Wayne Manor Bruce and Dick look their best in tuxedos while Harriet forgets to wear a bra again. When Dick wonders why Screaming Chicken would work with Eggy, Bruce relates how the Chief was once a bottle-washer who faced racial discrimination. They then get into a limo driven by Eggy wearing an egg earpiece who gasses them.

At the lair Eggy tells his captives that he doesn't want them or the ceremony to go through...but also because of something else. (:49)
"Long ago my superior intellect deduced that Batman must be a person who was a millionaire and didn't have to work, because crimefighting is such an eggspensive hobby.... All of you are approximately the right age, in your early thirties, but I have eliminated you, Mr. Tyler, because you are left-handed. No, the Caped Crusader is not a portsider. And you, Mr. Savage, are out because of your accent. So aside from a couple of aging rock-and-roll singers, you, Mr. Wayne, are the only Gotham city millionaire who is athletically inclined with eggsessive agility. Therefore, you must be Batman!"
Weirdly despite this brilliant Hugo Strange level of thinking, he doesn't consider that his ward Dick Grayson may therefore be Robin. He probably discounted him and his bad memory or something.
He has Bruce in an "electro thought transferer" that he borrowed from his guest appearance on The Man from U.N.C.L.E.. It will separate the yolk of memory from the white of the brain to take for his own, wiping it clean after use. RD thinks the Riddler used the exact same idea for Batman Forever.

Narrator: "How diabolical! How inhuman! How eggscruciating! Will the world's greatest criminal mind eggstract the true identity of Batman? The eggsplanation to these and other electric questions tomorrow!" 

RD remembers how Batman eggscapes from this one and it would be something he would do in a similar situation. 

Vince finally noticed RD had his beard shaved (by Mrs. Deal) for charity. (:57)

RD GIFed John Tenta getting stuck between two rings.

On McMahon's "retirement" the two believe he is in the throes of extreme mental decline, which is a horrible state for anyone to be in. (:63) RD expects small gradual changes so as not to further disrupt the public's confidence and thus investment in the company.


  • Special Guest Villain: Egghead (Vincent Price)


  • Screen Captures: 1. RD
  • RD Time Outs: 
  • Eggs: Scrambled



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