Episode 52: Holy Marbles!: August 7, 2022

The Yegg Foes in Gotham
October 20, 1966
"When the lease payment for Gotham City fails to be made on time, possession of the city falls into the hands of Egghead. Chaos ensues as the villain fires Commissioner Gordon and bans the Dynamic Duo from city limits. While the criminal underworld enjoys free reign, Batman and Robin search the city charter's fine print for a solution."
54 minutes

RD: Not an Indian Giver. He was not booked to go to Starrcast. Vince: "Interesting." RD also didn't subject himself to Ric Flair's "last" match due to being soured by his other last match in TNA 12 years ago.  

A "yegg" is an old term for a burglar or safecracker, though no one knows where it originated from.

Gordon and O'Hara have "egg on their faces", as opposed to all the other weeks when they have egg on their faces as the Duo have to do "their weekly call". RD: "Is there really a point to the Gotham City Police Department at all?" Vince thinks it's more than just weekly. 

Vince remembers watching All In The Family when it first aired and it actually had a warning. He recently found and bought a matted poster of Archie Bunker for $8, but couldn't share it on social media for fear of backlash. RD jokes to replace one of the 200 self-portraits in his studio. 

Eggy looks pleased as punch as wacky sound effects and lights flash while he has Bruce in his contraption. He's so engaged with the spectacle he doesn't notice Dick...just get up and move a giant switch to step down the voltage. This of course reduces the operational capacity makes the whole thing blow up. 

Meanwhile Bruce confounds the parts of the machine that still work by...thinking of something else entirely. Eggy: "The man has a mind full of trivia, it's inconceivable that he could be Batman." This is something RD would do if he were in a similar situation by thinking about WrestleCrap. Although don't you need trivia or information to function as The World's Greatest Detective?

With a "how egg-xotic!" Eggy pulls out a radar egg. ""The slightest vibration will make it egg-splode!" he says while putting it in front of his mouth, allowing he and his goons to escape. The prisoners escape by jumping up a pole and shimmying, even the two other millionaires. 

Bruce sees his peers off, then rolls a grape like a marble to blow up the egg. "The age of 11, I was junior marbles champion of Gotham City."
Dick (in awe): "Even then."
I wonder what his parents thought of that accomp - oh. I wonder what Alfred thought of that accomplishment.

The Undyamic Duo are at the City Hall, appalled at the lateness by three minutes of the three millionaires. (:16)
Screaming Chicken: "You'd better believe it, buddy!...You no show up. Me now ownum Gotham City and all suburbs. That is the way the wigwam watusies."

The Mayor is at Gordon's office, explaining the deal is legal despite a kidnapping. 
Gordon: "There's no more law in Gotham City. We're all at his mercy."
RD: "Does this mean Gordon is unemployed?"
Instantly Eggy shows up to fire him.
Batman suggests to "just give him enough rope and let him be hoist by his own petard."
Eggy is the Chief's Chief Emissary and with control over the city. "Egg-spletives will get you nowhere, my cowled crimebuster!" He then fires the Mayor and Undynamic Duo, and egg-spels the Caped Incompetence from the city or they will be egg-secuted. 

The Co-Bros have trouble writing down all the Egg puns.

Batman: "We are witnessing a new low in community relations."

Cue the Duo leaving with the native Batman theme.
Robin: "This is the saddest day of my young life, Batman."
Batman: "What will be, will be."
Robin: "Goodbye Gotham City, you were my kind of town. "

At the Batcave Batman decides to steal the charter as their civilian selves to investigate it for any loopholes or fine print. RD wonders why they don't just use the Batcomputer. 

Cue Gotham City becoming post-apocalyptic overnight. The police are not allowed to arrest the goons on crime sprees on Commissioner Eggy's orders. One of the officers is played by Ben Alexander who was on Dragnet and manages to say a "just the facts, ma'am."

At Stately Wayne Manor they watch the Eleventh Hour News at 3 pm. The news anchor reports on the crimes of the day as goons rob him on camera. 

Bruce and Dick manage to get to the charter back at City Hall. Bruce just breaks the glass to steal it.
Eggy is at Gordon's desk thrilled at the theft knowing the Duo are "back" in town. "When we capture the caped crime crushers, we will remove their masks and egg-spose their faces to the public. Then they'll be out of business. [to the camera] I wonder who they are?" 

Vince remembers when KISS was first un-makeuped on MTV in 1983 and he saw Gene Simmons as "a fat Jewish guy" (his words at the time). He wonders if there is a point or reason then to unmask the Duo. RD is following the recent Harley Quinn series where Joker finds the whole thing ruined once he finds out who Batman is.   

The Duo leave out the back and run into O'Hara who asks for Batman. "Commissioner Egghead wants him shot on sight, so if you can point me in his direction so I can shoot him?" 

Sure enough back at the Batcave the charter fine prints that no one with a criminal background can claim the city. Bruce: "we've got that criminal by his large, grey, double A head!" They know that $30 million in taxes has been collected at the Treasury or "Egg-schequer", waiting for Eggy to claim it and/or await the Duo.  

Sure enough Eggy and goons are there happily counting the tax eggs-xempt cash and making it rain. (:32)
Only now does Screaming Chicken find out that they may not be on the level. "Me think you all crooks! Me go tell Mayor!"
Eggy: "You are the Mayor!"
Vince: (reading) "We get eggs-xalted chief and we get he wants to eggs-xpedite matters."
RD: "That was eggs-xcellent Mr. Russo."

The actual Mayor (Linseed) is with Gordon and O'Hara at his office complaining of his plight at Batman and Robin enter through the window to report their finding. RD wonders why they didn't just go directly and call while on the way.
Gordon: "Call them the Dynamic Duo. The Caped Crimefighters. The Foes of Felons. Call them what you will. But thank your lucky stars we can call them... [to the camera] ...our friends."

As the Duo rope climb down Robin doesn't think Batman is moving fast. Batman: "In good Batclimbing, as in good driving, we must never sacrifice safety for speed."

A Hispanic man pops his head out of the window. "Who may I ask are you two nice people climbing down the side of this building when the elevators are available?" He's on jury duty and asks them to leave behind the rope for a "hung jury".
RD doesn't know this one but Vince does, as comedian Bill Dana's character of José Jimenez. 

The Duo arrive too late at the Treasury, finding only the tied up Chief instead of any money. Eggy and goons are attempting to flee to "lay high" in Venezuela.
Batman: "I think you've been led down a primrose path."
Screaming Chicken: "My face is so red."
Even Vince shakes his head. 

Batman tells Robin to inform Gordon to block the city exits before they...return to the Batcave. Robin takes the opportunity to be proud of their fellow townsfolk for forgiving the Chief.
Batman: "Most people are good. Chief Screaming Chicken was wooed from the path of righteousness by some extravagant promises. It's a human failing that all of us are subject to at one time or another, but that is water over the embankment."
They determine through Eggy's diet of only grade triple A white eggs that he is stocking up at Old MacDonald's Chicken Farm. 

Eggy wants the owner "eggs-pressing your appreciation" despite not paying eggs-xorbitant prices for it. They plan to escape via the not eggs-punged severs.
Batman: "Just the right place for a rat like you!"
Robin: "The only place you will be going is up the river!" 

Cue egg fight. There is an unverified story that Price was to just throw one (1) egg at Ward, but due to some sort of dispute he instead threw dozens at him (and his stunt double). They are accompanied by Eggy's off key theme and a very bad version of Old MacDonald. A victorious Batman promises to compensate for the eggs "at the current market value" but no more. He's not a multimillionaire made out of money or anything.

Eggy: "Woe is me, my criminal career is now egg-stinct!"
Robin: "You're going to end up where all broken eggshells end up: in the garbage!"
Batman: "Miss Bacon, I'm puzzled why a girl of your obvious breeding, education, style, and class should become involved with someone like...Egghead."
Bacon: "I guess I'm just lucky, Batman. Is this the end of the book, Eggy-pooh?"
Eggy: "The end, period. I guess I laid an egg."

Vince finds it unfair that Miss Bacon was fully covered as "a strikingly handsome young woman" so he gives her 7 Batpoles. RD found her bland and "spectacularly unspectacular" but gave her 6.5. Actor Gail Hire only had one movie appearance before the role, and absolutely nothing thereafter. 

In Gordon's office he owes the Duo another debt for their work by helping round up the rest of the criminals. Robin: "The police of Gotham City are the best anywhere." Then the Duo just leave, ending the episode. 

As expected the Co-Bros greatly  enjoyed the story.

They then talk about the wrong episode of next week.

RD will now show Vince all about Cheatum for Patreon.

But first Vince has to run off to the bathroom.

  • Special Guest Villain: Egghead (Vincent Price)

  • Brown Hornet Escapes: 1. Pull the lever, Dick.
  • Window Celebrity: 2. Ben Alexander, Bill Dana
  • SPEAKING OFs: 1. Spectacularly unspectacular
  • Eggs: Hardboiled


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