Special Round - Man Called Cheatum: August 4, 2022

40 minutes

"I <3 Cheatum" (don't we all) is giddy in introducing Vince to some of WCW's finest theatrical productions featuring an evil one-eyed midget. Vince was at one of the matches (at Halloween Havoc 1992) but didn't remember watching the actual video or any material leading up to them. 

  • :03 First Medusa walks through a very dark set to enter a bar with a dry ice floor to Spin the Wheel Make the Deal (with Cheatum). Cue Jake Roberts arching his eyebrows.
  • In enters the man they call Sting. Vince thought it was Jeff Jarrett. 
  • He and Roberts trade words as the bar patrons look back and forth like a tennis match.
  • Vince: "This acting leaves a lot to be desired."
  • Sting: "You think I'm afraid of some wheel?"
  • He spins the wheel, then has it as a backdrop as he and Jake stand still and face to face, allowing the production "crew" to draw electrical wires/lightning bolts/laser beams from their eyes before an explosion is superimposed over the shot.
  • The reel reminds you that Halloween Havoc 1992 will be on Sunday October 25th and it is in fact only on live pay-per-view.
  • Of course Vince thinks it's tremendous, but it wouldn't have caused him to go to the match just by itself.
  • Vince does not know how to mute his Discord notification alerts. (For the record, it's in User Settings - Notifications.)
  • :10 Next is the White Castle of Fear (not sliders). Sting gets into a tiny helicopter. While over stock footage of the Rocky Mountains he has visions of Big Van Vader standing in front of a wind machine blowing snow from the side. 
  • Sting: "Could this be some sort of trap?"
  • He checks the rolled up parchment that Vader wrote his invitation on for some reason. RD: "I really need one of those on the wall."
  • Vince: "These are gems, bro!"
  • Sting enters an extravagant set where people loaf around eating amidst dry ice fog.
  • Vader breaks a mirror by shouting and shadow boxing at it, then enters with a laughing Harley Race to trade their own words while Cheatum keeps asking to Play the Game Play the Game.
  • The two combatants then tug of war with a strap (is that the Game to Play?) over an open fire. The strap dramatically snaps as an explosion is superimposed over the shot.
  • The reel reminds you that Superbrawl III will be on Sunday February 21st and it is in fact only on live pay-per-view.
  • Vince can't believe he never learned or was clued in about them during his tenure in the company.
  • :16 Finally there is the one for Beach Blast 1993 on WCW Saturday Night (June 19th), the piece that made RD fully want to start WrestleCrap, for good or bad. Nominally it's to be for a tag team match of Sting and Davey Boy Smith vs. "The Masters of the Powerbomb" Vader and Sid Vicious (with Race and Colonel Robert Parker).
  • "Somewhere in the Gulf of Mexico" Sid stands confused with the rest of the heel contingent. They point to an "island" where Sting and Smith are playing beach volleyball with some random people (or "orphans" as they call them for some reason).
  • Sting expresses his joy in scoring a point by letting out a tiny "woooo." I think Ric Flair would have a word or two on that.
  • The heels all laugh manically as they discuss their plans.
  • Cue Cheatum snorkeling right next to the beach with a shark fin and carrying a water cooler as someone attempts the expected music on a synthesizer: "My name is JAWS! Now you girls get on outta here!" 
  • He then puts an alarm clock "bomb" on a speedboat.
  • The "orphans" say some lines woodenly as the heels arrive on one of those amphibious landing craft.
  • Sid shows off the flip-flops he's wearing with the rest of his wrestling outfit.
  • Cue some more howlers from the wrestlers as an attempt at a western showdown is played on the synthesizer. When they get up close another randomly strums on a guitar. 
  • Parker offers the faces "two tickets to the retirement haven of your choice". Sting considers it as he repeats the stats of their opponents. 
  • Cue group shot of the "orphans" looking sad.
  • The faces decide to go on with the match anyway.
  • Cue group shot of the "orphans" saying "yay".
  • The heels make more threats and laughter. 
  • The faces decide to continue their volleyball anyway.
  • The two girls tell Sting of "a funny guy hanging around the boat". Then they tell Smith of "a guy hanging around the boat going click-click-click."
  • Smith rushes to the speedboat and pushes the two off just as an explosion is superimposed over the shot.
  • Cue "orphans" looking sad.
  • The two then spring up from the water arms raised.
  • Cue group shot of the "orphans" saying "yay". Again.
  • The reel reminds you that Beach Blast will be on Sunday July 18th and it is in fact only on live pay-per-view.
  • Vince thought it was "very early 90-ish" but thought if it was the work of Bischoff and actual writers at Turner, then it was ahead of his time. RD can agree although he's not sure if he would include Cheatum or such heel plans. Vince would reenact it though, including with Cheatum.
  • :30 In turn Vince has Ultimate Warrior being...selectively edited during a shoot interview. It's still more legible than any public promo or speech. Vince would play it before every creative meeting as an energizing icebreaker (outside WWF). 
  • Vince loved the old Mr. Fuji and Muraco sketches, especially Fuji Vice. 
  • RD thinks AEW's reels and skits are greatly influenced from such vignettes, even if sometimes in parody (the sincerest form of flattery). (:35) The originals were campy but unintentionally went to downright hilarity. Vince is of course reminded of Batman. (Holy Shark Fin!)
  • RD still has yet to find Cheatum in any way shape or form, serious or otherwise. 
  • Vince plans to have some of the clips on a new show he will do with Disco Inferno.
  • Next up for Vince: AWA's private show for Kellogg's.

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