Episode 122: Holy Known Unknown Flying Objects!: December 25, 2023

The Joker's Flying Saucer
February 29, 1968
"The Joker is back in Gotham City, this time with his sights set on worldwide domination. He plants rumors of an invasion from outer space, then sets out to gather the Beryllium metal needed to build an actual flying saucer. Batman picks up on his scheme and sends Alfred to check up on a stash of the metal. But when Alfred is mistaken for a mad scientist by the Joker, he is hauled off to the villain's lair along with Batgirl. The Dynamic Duo are on their way when a bomb planted by one of the Joker's henchmen goes off, leaving them unconscious, and their Batcave cut off from the rest of the world."
45 minutes

RD: HAS FLYING SAUCER JITTERS. Vince thinks he was fooled by next week's episode. This week's episode was the only one to air on a leap day (with the 10th Annual Grammy Awards which aired from LA, Chicago, and Nashville). 

Narrator: "Night over Gotham City. But what else is over Gotham City? Not flying saucers!"

In his Office, Gordon has to answer the phones personally for some reason to dispel the rumors of flying saucers. Bonnie then calls on behalf of a Mrs. Green who claims she met a Martian in Gotham Park.

Instead of seeing her we instead cut to the Library. RD thought Barbara's red and green striped dress was not her best, although it still seemed smart looking. She is talking to one Professor Greenleaf who is wearing his own Riddler green suit, who warns of the city being overrun by "virulent living organisms from outer space".
On cue, someone in his own green suit and green face paint "invades" by knocking some books off the shelves. This prompts Barbara to scream at who RD thinks is more of a leprechaun than an alien.

Cut back to the Office, where the Undynamic Duo look out the window.
Gordon (looking at the Batphone): "What we need is some experienced help."
RD: "Does Batman have some Martian experience which we have not been acquainted?"
I mean, the Martian Manhunter did have his own solo series for a few months by that time. Why couldn't they have tried to contact him?

Anyway, cue titles.

Narrator: "But what's this? In a big black warehouse an abandoned launching pad factory, our old nemesis, the Joker, up to a  sinister sky-born caper."
Joker's goons Shamrock and Chartreuse are in green turtlenecks, as is his lady Emerald who thinks him "marvy" and calls him "poopsie".
Joker: "I was positively inspired, completing these plans for my flying saucer, with the help of my  cellmate, a mad scientist who had a passing penchant for picking pockets. Shortly, it'll be speeding across the skies of Gotham City. Oh, but not without warning.Ooh, the rumors I've planted. Yes, the whispers are flying. What scuttlebutt is afloat on my private grapevine."

RD wants to hear ballyhoo more duing the day.

Cut back to the Office, again, this time with the Dynamic Duo present to meet Mrs. Green. Shockingly, Barbara is not there with them (yet). (:11) Mrs. Green could not understand what the Martian supposedly said to her.
Batman: "That's understandable since there is no life on Mars as we know it. There can be no intelligible Marsish language."
Mrs. Green: "It's not often I run into a man 3 feet tall."
Robin (leaning into her way too closely): "Three feet tall? Holy interplanetary yardstick."
Mrs. Green: "I'm sorry to be so lacking in details, gentlemen, but I thought the incident should be  reported."
Batman: "It's the duty of every good citizen of Gotham City to report meeting a  man from Mars in a public park. Gotham City Penal Code Section 32, Subsection 14."
The Bros wonder how big the Code should be if it includes such uncommon subsections. RD wishes he got one for Christmas.
After Mrs. Green leaves, and noting that she seemed familiar, the Duo decide to check the Batcomputer. Only now does Barbara run in,  reporting on the "little green man from Mars" squatting in the Library. 

Narrator: "But the library isn't the only place the little green man is scrambling."
He is now seen meddling with something in the Batmobile, still not looking convincing.

Back at the lair, Joker is on the phone with Greenleaf and Green, who are unsurprisingly also goons (and siblings), spreading the "flying saucer jitters" throughout the city. 

Joker does, however, have a spaceship under construction.

Yes, like an actual mobile flying interstellar spaceship.

 

He doesn't say where it came from or how he got it. He just has it in his possession all of a sudden.

Even in a universe where another superhero alien is hiding in another city as a mild-mannered bespectacled reporter, this is too farfetched even for me. 

However Joker needs Nilanium beryllium to finish building it. On a completely unrelated note, the Wayne Foundation has a large supply of it for research in its Metals Research Wing. He sends his goons to go get it so he can get his spacecraft up and running, so he can use it to issue his demands for "complete capitulation, complete
cooperation, complete control" of the entire world. 

Of course he can't go with them because he's too well known, but before he can expound further the "Martian", another goon named Verdigris, gives his own laugh as he returns from his own jitter spreading. Also he put a bomb in the Batmobile that will detonate at midnight. "We Martians like to dispose of our Earthly enemies at the witching hour."

In the Batcave, Batman finally remembers Mrs. Green as a "front woman for that bunko artist who, at one time, was blackmailing greengrocers."
Alfred: "It's a small world, isn't it, sir?"
Batman: "It's a small universe, Alfred."
Fully satisfied that this is in fact a hoax, he awaits the "Current Criminal Activity Bat-Disclosure Unit" to tell them that Joker is in fact "manufacturing a flying saucer."
Robin: "Gosh, Batman. This machine's almost human."
Guessing that Joker may go after light metals, including their supply, Batman asks Alfred to check the Wing in person. He'll inform Gordon, who is still in the Office at a quarter to midnight. RD wonders if instead of his own place he just has a dog bed in Barbara's Apartment. 

Speaking of Babs, she is also there with the Undynamic Duo overhearing the call.
Narrator: "On a night filled with incredible happenings, Barbara Gordon makes her own incredible  change into Batgirl as the witching hour arrives in the Batcave."
RD wishes the show had a Halloween episode. Perhaps one involving a villain who also crimes at various important days of the year.

Anyway, the clock strikes midnight and the Batcave explodes with a great force. 

All of a sudden we cut to the lair with Joker celebrating having his beryllium - as well as Batgirl and Alfred. (:24)

 

To cover for the lack of an in-between scene which would have cost money, the script's expository dialogue has Alfred - who is mistaken for a mad scientist - captured at the Wing when the goons made their robbery, along with Batgirl who had also come to investigate "caught coming in a window". 

This is despite Joker having met Alfred before a couple of times already, knowing fully well who the man is by now, including when he played his own brother. Perhaps he thought he had another brother on his hand.

Verdigris reports the explosion in such a melodramatic matter that the Bros couldn't help but appreciate. They also appreciate the villains planning to get rid of Batgirl by strapping her onto a rocket.

Cut back to the "battered" Batcave. Robin is still stuck in the Batmobile. Batman was somehow knocked on top of the 30 foot atomic pile. They've also been knocked out for 8 and a half hours. Thankfully they were wearing their "Anti-Thermal Bat T-shirts" to protect them, which also would have protected their faces - oh wait.
Batman: "Quickly, old chum. We must rig up an Auxiliary Circuit Bat-regenerator. (To the camera) Who knows what's happened to the outside world?"

Gordon (in the Office): "Who knows what's happened to the Caped Crusaders?"
Mayor Linseed (in the Office): "Do you expect me to report that to Governor Stonefellow? To the president? Londinium? To the United Nations? This is an emergency, commissioner. Flying saucers and men from Mars don't invade our country every day."
O'Hara: "Well, at least they've stopped invading for a minute. The sky is as clear as a die."
Gordon: "Die? A very poor choice of words, Chief O'Hara. That's what we may all be doing if the Martians return. Dying! If we can't find Batman and Robin. Not to mention Batgirl."

Somehow in that eight hour window of opportunity Joker has...only finished literally tying Batgirl to a rocket.
"I've thrilled many a woman, Batgirl, but I never sent one completely in orbit before." [sic]
He also doesn't notice Alfred talking into his handkerchief attempting to reach the Duo.
Emerald: "Are you talking to that handkerchief?"
Alfred: "No, just dabbing my eyes. Stronger men than I have wept at moments like this."

Batman (relaying Alfred): "And then he's about to launch his own flying saucer."
Robin: "Holy known unknown flying objects!"
Batman: "...What?"
Robin: "Holy known unknown flying objects!"
Batman sends him to the Batcopter while he informs Gordon.

Thankfully for Batgirl, the "automatic fuse extinguisher in my Batgirl utility belt" puts out the cartoonishly large fuse to send the rocket flying. Joker decides to take her and the "mad scientist" in the flying saucer. 

So the flying saucer actually takes off for real. Gordon is informed that it's been seen over Russia. "BARBARA!" he exclaims randomly. "I wonder what's happened to her in all this excitement."

So the Joker and green goons are all sitting around a bridge as they somehow travel in outer space, cosplaying that one show on NBC where the goons wear red shirts instead and one guy has pointed ears and the captain makes long-winded speeches. Then again, that show's third season would have a bunch of children being led by a trial lawyer in a green muumuu, the pointed ear guy's brain being stolen, and the captain body swapping with an overacting woman. I don't know which is better in its badness.
Joker: "Activate the Supersonic Decelerating Contra-Rotating Turbines, Verdigris. We're getting a little too close to the sun."

Back on Terra, the Dynamic Duo ride the Batcycle into the Batcopter in props that look way too small.

Joker: "Invert the compression radial ratio. Energize the tandem ailerons, Verdigris, while I turn up this Interplanetary Microphone. In 46 and three-eighth seconds, we'll be over Gotham City where I will  ultimate my ultimatum."
He sprays some cough syrup he brought with him into his mouth as Craig tries her best not to laugh on camera. 

The Duo manage to contact Alfred through the Intercosmic Two-Way Thermophone, who informs them through his handkerchief he had put some "homing beryl" in the stolen beryllium. "Just clearing my head. Altitude, you know," he covers. 

Joker: "Hahaha! It's time for my ultimate ultimatum. Hear this. Now hear this. All citizens of Gotham City and the world, this is the Joker speaking to you from outer space. From inner outer space."
Before he can issue his demands, the ship starts moving on its own returning to the launchpad.
Joker: "Depress the Aerothermo Turret Resojets. Accelerate the Isothermal Oxyacetylene  Vaporometers."
Verdigris: "Huh?"
Joker: "STEP ON THE GAS!"

By the way, all that flying saucer 'footage'? Taken from Invaders from Mars 15 years earlier (if IMDB is truthful).

Joker: "I wanted to rule the world from Mars. I liked the looks of that place."
Batman (appearing in the entryway): "Yes, I think you'd be more comfortable there at the moment, Joker." 

In the fight some of the beryllium is used as a weapon, which confused RD since he thought it was supposed to be light. Unfortunately the Joker stunt double is only seen for a second or so. The goons all tumble down the stairs, including one who does it twice for some reason. 

Batman: "It looks like you've flown your last saucer."
Joker: "But I came close, Batman. I came close."
Batman: "Close doesn't count."
O'Hara: "You'll come much closer to washing tin saucers up at Warden Crichton's cosmic calaboose, Joker."

Still, there's going out, and then there's going out after flying into space and back. So perhaps the Joker was the true winner this day in his final appearance.

Barbara takes the opportunity to change back into her civilian dress, having taken an "unexpected little trip" and being told where to go by Bonnie. Cue Gordon looking at her lustily since he didn't get his chance for any groping this episode.

Back at the Batcave much of the damage has been repaired.
Robin: "Well, at least the Joker's Martian invasion has been grounded."
Batman: "For five to ten years, I would imagine."
RD: "Is there any question why Gotham is so riddled with crime?"
The Batphone rings, alerting them to a theft at a jewelry store. Batman asks about the culprits. 

Narrator: "What do they look like? Who could possibly describe Dr. Cassandra and her husband Cabala eyeing the priceless Mope Diamond hungrily and then disappearing? No wonder all of Gotham City is  startled, as you are bound to be in our next episode!"

Vince guesses Emerald was 32 years, way off her actual 43. He didn't find her good looking either due to too much makeup, giving her 4 Batpoles. RD is "very generous" at 5.5. French actress Corinne Calvet's majority of her filmography was in America, with a huge span of highs and lows and what might have beens. 
RD (reading the ever accurate Wikipedia): ""According to one obituary, she was promoted "as a combination of Dietrich and Rita Hayworth", but her persona failed to live up to this description." If someone puts that in an obituary, do you really need to go on Wikipedia and say "yeah she failed to live up to anything like that?" How rude."

RD is preparing for Gooker voting. Vince: "Very interesting."

 

• Special Guest Villain: The Joker [11] (Cesar Romero) [11]

 

• Brown Hornet Escapes: 1. To boldly go where no clown prince of crime has gone before.
  

Episode 115: Holy Ace Attorney!: November 6, 2023

The Joke's on Catwoman
January 4, 1968
"Following a tip from Batgirl, the Dynamic Trio meet up at the Grimalkin Novelty Company, hideout of the Joker and Catwoman. There, they overhear the arch-criminals' plot and secretly trail them to a stash of hidden gunpowder. A careless mistake spoils the villains' evil plan, however, and they are captured and brought before the Gotham City judge. But when the jury seems less than interested in justice, courtroom mayhem ensues."
45 minutes

RD Is In Kitt's Corner. Is that the follow-up podcast to The Joker's Mustache? He wears his Catwoman shirt for her final show appearance.

Vince is old enough to remember The Ring magazine, now in digital form. He does not like extreme combat sports where people could get extremely injured. He does not ever want to see Sid Vicious' broken leg. RD was actually there to see it in person. Vince actually spoke for Sid in his ensuing lawsuit. Both prefer him now as a current happy grandfather on social media. 

Narrator: "What's this? An ambush outside the home of millionaire Karnaby Katz? Where Catwoman, the Joker, and their evil cohorts lie wickedly in wait for Batgirl and the Caped Crusaders." (:05)

Leaving their last cliffhanger of...arriving too late to a crime scene, the Dynamic Duo just...drive off without any hindrance. Apparently doing the gentlemanly thing of waiting for Batgirl to also leave is not in their agenda, because she finds her Batcycle's spark plug has been taken by Catwoman. The villains quickly tie her up and leave her on the ground. 

Catwoman (to Joker): "Those Cat's Whiskers, a fiendish invention of mine, they automatically contract  when placed in close contact with the heat of the body. So in seconds, Batgirl will be strangled to death, thereby ridding Gotham City of one-third of the Terrific Trio. You see, when I do a job, I do it right."
RD was easily amused by Kitt's rolling delivery as "she's giving herself a paw."

Now why wasn't this the cliffhanger?

After the titles, Batgirl sees a sprinkler control with two big buttons, which she manages to reach over to and turn on with her nose. This cools the rope, causing it to loosen and slacken, but more importantly gives the rather impressionable audience the visual of Yvonne Craig in a wet t-shirt (while her theme plays on a theremin). 

Meanwhile in the Batcave, Batman declines Alfred's offer of a snack. "You know I never mix crime-fighting with eating." Robin still reaches for one anyway.
Gordon calls on the Batphone: "Batgirl just called me, Batman. She wants you to meet her at the  intersection of Cattail Lane and Ninelives Alley. That's behind the novelty manufacturing center of Gotham City."
Batman: "The Grimalkin Novelty Company is on that corner."
Robin: "Grimalkin? What kind of a name is that?"
Batman: "An obscure, but nevertheless acceptable, synonym for "cat," Robin."

At the big black warehouse novelty company, the villains consult a map of Phony Island (to the south of the city) which was on the stolen nightshirt. The crib has the starting location in backwards French, which Catwoman has to read to a knowledgable Joker as they technobabble the destination.
Joker: "Ooh. That's the first time I ever heard a cat purr in French."
Catwoman: "Skip the flattery, Joker."

The Trio are already laying in wait watching the villains leave their lair.
Robin: "How about rushing the place, Batman?"
Batman: "I think not, Robin. All they've done so far is stolen a few items, attempted to kill you, me and  Batgirl. No, I think they plan something really big."
For some reason Batman asks Batgirl to sit with them in the Batmobile. Normally it's supposed to be quicker that way. But of course, the way he has such the look as she thinks it will be "cozy" speaks for itself.

RD as Batman: "Why don't you sit on the Batlap and let's talk about the first thing that pops up?"

The villains arrive at the big black warehouse Phony Island lighthouse where they look for the buried gunpowder. They are joined by the inhabitants, named Mr. and Mrs. Keeper, and their antics confused RD to no end, particularly the Mrs' desire to vacuum the upstairs bedroom. Vince kept seeing makeup on Mrs. Keeper's turtleneck in high definition. He actually knew who they were based on some of their work of the time (Louis Quinn and Christine Nelson, also a couple in real life).

The Trio finally appear as Joker complains they were supposed to be "kaput, finis, defunct." This would have originally been referencing the cliffhanger when it was supposed to be an actual cliffhanger of a deadly trap like of old, instead of what we got with them walking into a room.
Batman: "We're very much not defunct, Joker. Neither is Batgirl."
Catwoman: "This is some sort of perfidious trick. I'll bet it's done with mirrors."
Batman: "The mirror is broken, Catwoman. The last cat has crossed our path. From now on, all the luck is with us."

Joker accidentally hits another button, which just so happens to open a secret room revealing all the gunpowder. So he goes to inspect it.

By lighting a match. 

Batman: "Put that match out, you fool! It's going to explode!"

For once Joker listens to his archenemy.

By throwing the match inside. 

(Also the match is clearly shown to have been blown out after he throws it.) 

So the obvious happens. There is an explosion and everyone is unscathed.
Robin: "Holy return from oblivion! We're still alive!"
Batman: "Yes, Robin. Still alive. In the split second before the actual detonation of the gunpowder I was able to infuse this one room with Anti-Blast Batpowder."
Mrs. Keeper: "But what about the upstairs bedroom? I just vacuumed it."
Batman: "The city will make it up to you. They'll take the cost of your home out of Catwoman and  Joker's prison pay for making license plates."

Catwoman requests to make her one phone call to "Lucky Pierre, the world's greatest and luckiest criminal attorney. He's never lost a case." Batman gives her a dime for it.

Thankfully for her Pierre is his big black warehouse office to receive the call (as Louie the Lilac's theme plays). "Now, be still and don't utter a meow. I'll see you in court. And if all goes well, knock on  wood, I'll have you sprung before pussy-willow time."

As colorful as it may be, it is not as colorful as the actual actor. Well, 'actor' since he went uncredited. And he wasn't even an actor at all. Pierre Salinger was a journalist (initially known as Lucky Pierre), press secretary for Kennedy and Johnson, senator for California (for all of three months), and inadvertent conspiracy theorist about believing everything on the Internet (concerning TWA800).

Also he has a sight gag photo of his desk of Nixon.

One only knows how he would be a good fit for such an extended cameo, but needless to say he wouldn't be the first of his ilk in such a role. I guess even now not much has changed in that aspect.

So we immediately go to the big black courthouse (:24) as Pierre informs his clients that District Attorney Harvey Dent is taking his turn to choose the jury.

[Checks earpiece]

I'm sorry, I'm being told that Dent didn't actually appear in the Silver Age at all. That would be in the Bronze Age three years later. So he's not appearing here either.

So instead the attorney is...any guesses?

Yes, it is of course Batman "because of his familiarity with the case", despite his officer deputizing not covering prosecution in a court of law. Perhaps he put in a good word to millionaire Bruce Wayne, chairman of the Gotham City District Attorney's Office.

RD: "I have only been to court once, and it was because I was there for jury duty. Gotham City sounds like it has the worst judicial system ever. OK, Batman caught these alleged supposed crooks. Now he's going to be the DA or whatever for this? And then he also gets to choose the jury? What kind of kangaroo court is this?"

The totally unbiased and partial jury arrive with Batman, and West takes the opportunity to rehash the time he guest starred on Perry Mason with some extreme overacting.
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. (He pauses, suddenly seeing that he did not choose any women for his jury.) Uh, gentlemen of the jury, we are gathered here today to prove that Catwoman, Joker, and  their men, are guilty of several major offenses. To wit: robbery, attempted murder, assault and battery,  mayhem, and overtime parking."

He calls Little Louie Groovy to the stand (full name Little Louie Groovy) to state that he was robbed "on the night of July 22nd of this year" by "those cats over there, the chick with the swinging outfit, the  creep with the green hair, and those four clowns."
Batman: "For the record, witness is pointing to the defendants."
Batgirl: "He's so authoritative. So confident."
Robin: "The more you work with Batman, the more amazing he seems."

Despite this...descriptive statement, Pierre doesn't ask for a cross-examination. In fact he doesn't do any for each witness, as we fade to the last of them of the Keepers, somehow both being questioned together in tandem.
Batman: "And that's your statement, Mr. Keeper."
Mrs. Keeper: "That's his statement, not mine. I had just vacuumed the upstairs bedroom. And now  there's no bedroom upstairs anymore."
There is no cross-examination here either, save just to keep this random joke thread going to pad out the runtime. Both Batman and Joker wonder what his game as he sits holding a (lucky) wishbone.

Batman: "Gentlemen of the jury, you've heard the evidence of 14 separate witnesses including Robin the Boy Wonder, and Batgirl. Each one of them corroborating the other's story that those defendants are guilty of all the crimes with which they are charged. In the interests of law, order, justice, good fellowship, and the flag, [emphasis mine] you must convict them to keep our streets safe from evil persons. Thank you."

Of course Robin is standing up and cheering for this 'immense' effort. Batman has to tell him to sit down. He says this mind you; the judge, who normally should be the one to say so, just sits there with a rather ridiculous puff of white hair that makes him look more villain than law person.

The totally not villainous judge calls on Pierre to give his closing argument...which he doesn't. So he orders the jury to go and deliberate.
Foreman: "No need for that, Your Honor. We have already made up our minds. ... We find the defendants, Catwoman, Joker, Giggler, Laughter, Smiley and Gus...not guilty of any of the charges."
Then the jury all laughs.
Catwoman: "There's something very cat-fishy about this whole thing, Batman."
Batman: "Every man is entitled to his day in court. We must abide by the jury's decision."
Judge: "Normally, after any case, I never make any statement to the jury. However, today I cannot resist. Never in my thirty years on the Gotham City bench have I seen a more callous disregard for the facts in a case. You are all to be chastised for making a travesty out of the judicial process."
Foreman: "Aw, stow it, Judge!"

He shouts this with such furor that his mustache drops, revealing that he is in fact someone named "Marvin the Moose" who had worked with Catwoman before, sitting next to a "Dave the Dummy" who had also worked with Catwoman before.
Batman: "Your Honor, I move for a new trial."
Judge: "On which of several grounds?"
Batman: "On the grounds of a prejudicial jury."
Catwoman: "You don't know how prejudicial, Batman!"
Why, it's almost as if Batman didn't do full due diligence when choosing his totally nonpartisan jury!

Marvin then pulls out a gun, leading up to our episode's fight. Thankfully this is a good one, once again featuring Joker's stunt double. RD will be sad to miss him after the show's end. Batgirl's smiling kicks on top of a table almost cause it to fall down. Catwoman swings on a chandelier, which every courtroom has. The judge provides his assistance by hitting Joker on the head with his gavel. 

Batman: "Will you never learn that you cannot outwit the law?"
Catwoman: "Maybe one day I will, Batman, perhaps."
Batman: "You'll never succeed in circumventing justice, Catwoman."
Robin: "Not as long as honest and dedicated law enforcers have a breath left."
Joker: "Oh, forget the morals! Just get us back to jail, so we don't have to listen to these corny jokes!"
Batman (to the camera): "But morals are the stuff men are made of. And until criminals learn that, our  job will not be done. However, if and when they do, we'll be only too ready to hang up our capes and  cowls."

At Gordon's Office, Robin remarks on the characters they met.
Batman: "Don't forget Lucky Pierre. If he hadn't gone so wrong, he might have had to find career in  politics. Won a gubernatorial race, or the White House even."
Hopefully the tenure would be longer than three months.
Gordon decides to call Barbara at the Library to check up on her.

Unfortunately once again a criminal is visiting the Library, in this case Louie the Lilac.
Barbara: "What are you doing with that boutonniere? I remember the time you stunned my friend  Princess Primrose with an invisible knockout spray."
Louie: "This is not an invisible knockout spray, Miss Gordon. It is essence of lilacs. A scent which I  intend to corner the perfume market of Gotham City. I thought that the police commissioner's daughter should be my first recipient."

So of course he immediately leaves.

RD: "Looks like he will be just as uninteresting as the last time."

Narrator: "Louie the Lilac is in indeed back in Gotham City and planning much more than just  cornering the perfume market...as you'll see in our next episode!"

Eartha Kitt gets an immediate increase to her rating because she was still looking and acting stellar at the age of 40. Despite the Bros usually judging on appearances, they also note on when characterizations work, like hers. For this RD gives her 7.5 Batpoles, Vince gives 8. RD wishes Kitt was playing another character instead to make all her own rather than just succeed Julie Newmar, which would have made her appearance much greater and better known. Still, they admired her work. 

Unfortunately for Kitt, two weeks after this episode aired (ironically on an episode parodying the womens' movement) she was at a White House luncheon with Lady Bird Johnson where she made quite a few remarks, including on civil rights and against the Vietnam War including Lady Bird Johnson. For this she was blacklisted in America for a decade (until Carter personally invited her back). She did quite a lot of voice acting in her later years, most notably Yzma in The Emperor's New Groove.

RD hates Santa Baby. Vince has to think on his worst before the season rolls around. 

Santa is training to beat all the children at the Arcade on December 16th. 

RD has to think on what to write about for Christmas.

• Special Guest Villain: The Joker [10] (Cesar Romero) [10]
• Extra Special Guest Villainess: Catwoman [9] (Eartha Kitt) [2]

 

• Brown Hornet Escapes: 1. We was too late.
• Window Celebrity: 1. Pierre Salinger

Episode 114: Holy Bat-Creep!: October 30, 2023

The Funny Feline Felonies
December 28, 1967
"The Joker, just released from prison, teams up with Catwoman. They follow the clues of an ancient riddle to retrieve a nightshirt and an antique crib, which together form a map to a hidden cache of gunpowder which they plan to use for their next crime. Batman and Robin, together with Batgirl, follow their trail, little knowing that they are about to walk right into an ambush."
43 minutes

RD: LEARNING THE BAT CREEP. Is that like the Batusi? He had returned from the South where he ate at the first Kentucky Fried Chicken, as shown by his Colonel Sanders cap. Both prefer the original Original Recipe.

Vince could never get malt vinegar with fish. RD has to hide his laughter, as did any other Listener suddenly finding themselves haunted by the Force Ghost of Sir Alec Heineken. 

RD then has to explain the old joke about vinegar douching to Vince.

Good Lord, lad. 

The Jungle Book was the #2 movie of the year, in between The Graduate and a re-released Gone With The Wind. Vince has to find his Baloo tattoo.

Narrator: "Morning at Gotham State Prison. And in the office of Warden Crichton, an old foe is saying his farewell." (:08)
The Joker is leaving in a grey suit after serving his long sentence of several..days months (according to the script). He shakes hands with the Warden and the chairman of the parole board, some millionaire named Bruce Wayne. You haven't heard of him.
Bruce: "I'm convinced that you've mended your former ways. And so in keeping with our liberal penological practices, we're releasing you considerably ahead of time."
Crichton then gives him the huge sum of 1 $10 dollar bill.
Joker: "I used to light my cigars with $10 bills. (pulling out a cigar) Oh, how about a cigar to celebrate the occasion?"
Bruce doesn't smoke "in any form" so Crichton takes the cigar to see if it will explode. It doesn't, but RD still doubts his competency at his job. Again. Vince was too distracted by the bad teeth on display.

Outside Joker meets Catwoman in her KittyCar, and as part of their plan she pretends to capture him at gunpoint.
Joker (loudly): "She's kidnapping me. Honest."
Bruce asks Crichton to try and "catch" the two, using the window to call Alfred to patch him through to the Gordons (since once again Barbara is visiting). In my opinion Bruce should have also called thes scriptwriter, since the last episode ended on Joker and Catwoman already riding around. Reagrdless, Barbara immediately disappears upon hearing the call. Cue titles as the Batmobile drives to the office.

Narrator: "And at the Sleazy Hotel, a sleazy hotel across the street from police headquarters..."
Joker puts on his regular suit as Catwoman observes Gordon's Office through her Catgun. Joker wants to kill the Duo but Catwoman knows how they operate, and she prefers to draw them out. So she just shoots a note through the Office window.

O'Hara: "Mother Machree, we're under attack!"
Batman crawls on his belly doing the Bat-Creep, which RD thinks can only be done with a skateboard with the way he is flowing around on the ground.
Batman (reading): ""This one was just a warning, Batman. The next one will be between your eyelids. Signed, a well-wisher.""
O'Hara: "Well, it seems like somebody's interested in your welfare."
Everyone gives him a well-deserved glare for his idiocy. 

Barbara enters in a lovely green dress: "Somebody lose a contact lens?" RD finds contact lenses were first used as far as the 16th century, though modern softer ones were first used from the 50s. 

Batman: "It must have come from the Hotel Sleazy across the street. Judging from the trajectory and the angle...and figuring the wind at six knots per hour, north by northeast...as per this morning's weather  report...X times six squared, over...Yes. (pointing) You see, it came from that room on that floor."

They go to the room finding Joker's prison suit left behind. (:20) Batman can smell Catwoman's trademark Cat Lily perfume, sensing they were in less than three minutes ago. Batgirl takes the opportunity to appear to assist. The men all say they can handle it on their own, so she does the lawful thing and takes a piece of paper from the crime scene.
Robin: "You think she's trying to double-cross us?"
Batman: "No, but she's a woman, Robin, with a woman's inborn desire to outsmart men."

Catwoman's lair is half cat half clown, and she asks her goons Giggler and Laughter to meet Joker. The Clown Prince managed to steal from the Library a poem "written by Garçon Maltese, the famous crook," who stole 1 million pounds of gunpowder during the French and Indian War to hide it within Gotham. Catwoman wants to use it to blow an entrance inside the federal depository building to loot it.
Joker: "Why don't we just heist a bunch of dynamite?"
Catwoman: "Far too simple, Joker. And not half as much fun as being devilishly clever. After all, we're  not common thieves. Now, our next move is to purloin and if possible permanently purge Batman,  Batgirl and Robin, the Boy Wonder. The missing corner of this parchment was intentionally left in that fleabag of a hotel room."

This Catwoman is definitely one to kill Batman rather than be attracted to him, a sad byproduct of racial conflict during the time. An African-American woman with a White man? On 60s television? That's just science fiction!

 

Literally!

 

Regardless, Vince always loved how well Romero used his eyes for his manic facial expressions. RD adds Victor Bueno as King Tut.  

Meanwhile Barbara quickly checks the Library to find the microfiche of the document before turning into Batgirl to call Batman from the Office.
Batgirl: "Meet me immediately at the apartment of Little Louie Groovy 27 Disc Drive."
Batman: "Little Louie Groovy, the teenage tycoon who's never missed producing a million-seller record?"
Dick (loudly): "Gosh, Bruce, I've always wanted to meet him!"
Despite his loudness, Barbara makes no mention of hearing it.

Narrator: "Shortly, in the big black warehouse groovy pad of Little Louie, the young tycoon of the recording business..." (:26)
Louie has suddenly discovered a group 20 minutes earlier called "Gotham Boulevard Off-Ramp" which may or may not be a reference to Chicago (Transit Authority). "Look, I gotta make my money fast. Another couple of years, I'll be in my mid-20s. Too old for the music business, over the hill."

He tries to go to bed just as the villains break in.
Louie: "Look, if you're here to rob me, I ought to warn you that I'm a karate expert and I can hurt you. So stay back! Hyah!
Catwoman (to goons): "Karate isn't effective unless accompanied by yelling. Let him howl until he  sprains a vocal cord, then get him."
They need only wait a few seconds to get their chance, and then take his nightgown, leaving him completely bare just as the Duo show up. The fight allows Joker's stunt double to once again make his presence while the bed in the middle spins around.
The Duo succeed in smashing up the place, but don't know why their enemies wanted a nightgown. 

Joker (improvising): "Well, it was all Catwoman's fault, fellas. If you recall, it was she who kidnapped  me. She told me that Louie Groovy was a hip cat and that it might be fun if we stole the cat's pajamas. Well, you know how I am about practical jokes. I couldn't resist it."
Batman: "You must have flipped your raspberry, Joker. How could you allow anyone to talk you into  something stupid?"
Joker: "Agreed. You're absolutely and positively right. Oh, I made a dreadful mistake. Oh, let bygones  be bygones. I'd like to shake hands with both of you. Can't we be friends?"

Despite Robin's protests they do, and of course the Duo fall prey to his Joker Buzzer, electrocuting them.  Thus incapacitated, the villains leave before Batgirl appears on the scene to check their pulse. "Three beats a minute, not too good." Fortunately she has her Batgirl antidote pills for such a situation.
Batman: "What took you so long, Batgirl?"
Batgirl: "Rush hour traffic. Plus all the lights were against me. You wouldn't want me to speed, would  you?"
Robin: "Your good driving habits almost cost us our lives."
Batman: "Rules are rules, Robin. ... But you do have a point."

With her copy of the poem Batgirl knows they stole the nightgown for their treasure hunt. Now they need a cradle "in the possession of Karnaby Katz, devil-may-care men's clothing designer from  Londinium."

Of course by the time they get to Katz's mansion he's already been robbed of his antique cradle mere seconds earlier. 
Robin: "Where could they have disappeared to so quickly?"

Narrator: "Closer than you think! Just outside waiting to ambush you! Will Joker and Catwoman make  good their perfidious plan to steal millions? For the answer to these and other cataclysmic questions, watch the next episode!"

Next episode is also Catwoman's final appearance. The Bros can't remember watching it before. 

Santa is still set to challenge all the naughty little girls and boys at the Arcade. 

RD found some really bad Halloween costumes.

 

• Special Guest Villain: The Joker [10] (Cesar Romero) [10]
• Extra Special Guest Villainess: Catwoman [9] (Eartha Kitt) [2]

Episode 110: Holy Feet!: October 2, 2023

Surf's Up! Joker's Under!
November 16, 1967
"The Joker plans to become the king of surfing, hoping the fame will give him control over the hearts and minds of Gotham City. He captures top surfer Skip Parker, then uses his "Surfing Experience & Ability Transferometer" to transfer the needed skills and stamina from Skip to himself. When all the other contestants drop out of the upcoming surfing match, Batman steps up to challenge the Joker's supremacy."
50 minutes

Vince had to watch AEW Dynamite for the first time in three years, much to the chagrin of RD: ANTIQUE BEACHCOMBER and his surfing Batman and Joker shirt. It was a toss-up to Vince.

Vince also wonders why a surfing episode would air in the middle of November.

Narrator: "Surf's up at Gotham Point, and all the local surfers are shaping up for the forthcoming world surfing championships. Here's Skip Parker, local surfing idol and the hottest wave jockey around riding  out the soup to join his current beach bunny, Barbara Gordon."

Barbara's swimsuit is very pleasing to the Bros, especially in publicity shots.  

RD still owns YvonneCraigBikiniParty.com. He had told Vince of his purchase the last time he was on the old radio progrem.

Barbara and Skip flirt with each other.
Narrator: "But a fast surf isn't the only thing at Gotham Point that's hairy this morning! Not with this jesting jackstraw, the Joker, on the scene!"
A beach version of Joker's theme plays as he uses his hot-dog transmitter to coordinate his goons (Rip Tide and Wipe Out) kidnapping another surfer named Hot Dog Harrington. He then flirts with his own lady Undine, RD was mesmerized by her look. Vince noted she had a very flat stomach.

Joker sends Undine to get Skip by...walking up to him to tell him he has a phone call. Skip takes one look at her and decides to follow her, much to Barbara's surprise.
For this betrayal Joker gasses him.
Joker: "We'll run him into the Ten Toes Surfboard Shop and get all his surfing secrets out of him. Then after I've gotten rid of Batman and Robin for good, I will rule the waves. Me, the Joker, king of the surf and all the surfers. Then Gotham City. Later, the world!"

Barbara calls Gordon, who calls the Duo. (:15)
Bruce: "Alfred, alert the Batcopter port. To the Batcave."
Dick: "COWABUNGA!"

Cue obvious stock footage of the Batcopter with two people who look nothing like the Duo or their regular stunt doubles. Robin looks way too muscular, even more so than Batman.
Narrator: "And so the forces of law and order converge on Gotham Point by air."
Robin (badly dubbed): "If we land on the beach, Batman, we might hurt someone."
Batman (badly dubbed): "And cause undue attention, old chum. We'll set down in Pelican Cove, just north of Gotham Point and walk down the beach just like ordinary people."
RD: "Also because we have no footage of the Batcopter landing in any sand."

The Undynamic Duo are already there in beach shorts, cheap sunglasses, and floppy hats, as Duke and Buzzy.
Gordon: "Well, most true surfers are known as Duke, Skip, Rabbit, or Buzzy."
They see a woman with green hair dancing to a performing band singing a song about a woman with brown hair. Then a trash can nearby them starts shaking.
O'Hara: "Buzzy, I think this trash can's trying to tell us something."
Gordon: "Nonsense, Duke. It's an echo of the surf."

RD: "This is all I ask. Could the US government let us know at the beginning of each year just send out a pamphlet: here are the terms we're no longer allowed to use? That way I, as an old white man, can make sure I'm not offending anyone."

Gordon and O'Hara Buzzy and Duke go to the Hang Five, Hot Dog Harrington's hangout, followed by the Duo. The staff immediately calls them "gremmies".
Robin: "No compliment. Beach bums. We should have worn our baggies."

Barbara had gone to change into Batgirl the Library, but told them to watch the woman behind the counter, who is Undine.
Batman: "You mean the one talking to her hot dog?"
Undine (on her hot-dog communicator): "They are sitting with a couple of antique beachcombers who  were asking some questions about Hot Dog Harrigan."

Joker tells her to leave them be for now, as he shows captive Skip his "Surfing Experience and Ability Transferometer: all your surfing know-how will be drained out of you and transferred to me. And don't forget to switch on the Vigor Reverser, so that all his youthful energy will be pumped into my blood and bones!"
RD: "This is quite the episode."

As if that weren't odd enough, the Duo go back to the Batcave just so that Alfred can show them pictures of feet.
Alfred: "I thought these new illustrated Batslides might prove a bit of a novelty, sir."
Robin: "Holy ten toes."
Batman: "A cryptic comment, Robin. The Ten Toes Surfboard Shop has been closed for some time. The most appropriate hideout for Joker and a hostage. These Batslides are more than a novelty, Alfred. I've learned more in the past minute from these two naked feet than we learned at Gotham Point in one hour. Although we left Buzzy and Duke out there to follow up."
Alfred: "Buzzy and Duke, sir?"

By then Joker has absorbed all of Skip's...surfing power.
"The Surfing Championship of Gotham Point in the palm of my pig board! Oh, the prizes, the honor! The envy, respect and adulation of all the local surfers! Where I go, they will follow! What I want, they will provide! And what I want is Gotham City to plunder and to pillage! And that is what they will provide!"
He orders his goons to put Skip in a dresser drawer. Undine warns him that the two antique beachcombers are "fuzz". Also the Duo have returned to the area, this time in Batmobile.
Joker: "Oh, exquisite. Their tricks for tracking me down have always been clever. But this time I will outsmart them. They will no doubt come through that window. You have the poisonous sea urchin spines, boys?"

Batman: "Ready?"
Robin: "Never ready." 

So the two break in straight into a spray of spines. 
Robin: "Holy pin cushions!"
Batman: "Obviously spines from a sea animal of the echinoderm family, Robin. Quite painful. Potentially lethal. But the poison can be counteracted if we immediately soak our bodies in hot water  and Epsom salts."
Joker: "Oh! Too bad, Batman. But we've just ran out of hot water and Epsom salts"
Batman: "Then I think we've almost run out of time."

Joker ties the two to boards to process them to become...surfboards.
Robin: "Holy human surfboards!"
This definitely deserves a cliffhanger, and by cliffhanger I of course mean commercials. 

Somehow the goons oversee the Duo enclosed into two rather thick surfboards with a coat of catalyzed resin, while their boss goes to the surfing competition. They know they've done their job when the boards suddenly explode, revealing the unscathed Duo.
Batman: "Catalyzed resin is a highly combustible mixture. All I had to do is activate this portable ultraviolet Bat-Ray from my Utility Belt to set off the explosion that released us from our foam blank  coffins."
Also the explosion dissolved the spines. And somehow their poison which is probably still within the Duo's bodies. Because that's how things work here.

Anyway the Duo find some sandy footprints that lead them to the drawer where Skip is. He leaves to go find Barbara (and apologize to her for ditching her for another woman). 
Batman: "Robin, hop a cab or take the subway to Stately Wayne Manor. Take Dick Grayson's car and head for the beach. Batman, in his showdown with Joker, will need the help of Bruce Wayne's youthful ward. Plus his surfboard."

Narrator: "And so the showdown approaches as Batman and Dick Grayson rendezvous at Gotham  Point." (:32)
Dick "arrives" and leaves his surfboard outside the Hang Five, red with a white stripe. Inside Joker is regaling the people on his surfing tales. Batman challenges him for the surfing title.
Joker: "It's too late, Batman. The entries are closed."
Dick: "Correction, sir."
Joker: "Correction? You dare correct me? You immature mollusk!"
Dick: "I'm Millionaire Bruce Wayne's youthful ward, Dick Grayson. Mr. Wayne's president of the Gotham Point Surfing Association and in this case I can speak for him. I'm entering Batman in the surfing championships."
Batman: "Shall we go into the men's locker room and put on our baggies? Excuse me, citizens."

So Batman and Joker put swim trunks over their regular outfits. 

The two will also be judged on their sportsmanship. Joker: "Sportsmanship?" The two get their boards, and of course Batman has Dick's red with a white stripe a yellow surfboard with the Batlogo. Barbara finally appears in her swimsuit to watch.

And so Batman and Joker surf in front of a green-screen.

While West would write that he thought this was the lowest point of the series, to RD it's his favorite. He always watches it whenever he needs a pick-me-up.

And of course Batman still has and uses the Shark Repellant Bat-Spray.

Despite all this, the production still had two other doubles actually surfing. This is never expounded upon. 

Joker rushes out of the (relatively calm for surfing) waters first proclaiming victory, and of course the two are completely dry.
Dick: "I've tallied all the judges' points. You got one. For being the more colorful surfer. (That was not part of the judged criteria of course.) Batman got all the rest including 50 for avoiding a dangerous hazard, a shark."

Buzzy and Duke finally remember there's a moving trash can, which they should probably check. Inside is Hot Dog Harrigan. Joker uses this to bail. Batman asks Dick to find Robin "the Boy Wonder" (forgetting he's now the Teen Thunderbolt). 

Dick finds the locker room - at the same time as Barbara. They both change separately. Then they come out of their adjacent changing stalls. Somehow this confuses the two.
Batman, Buzzy, Duke, and the villains all arrive so we can have our fight. Robin does a leapfrog. Joker still has an awful looking stunt double. Batgirl continues to kick and smile, and vanishes immediately afterwards. 

Batman: "He's all yours, gentlemen."
Joker: "Gentlemen? These two hodads?"
Gordon: "Commissioner Gordon and Chief O'Hara to you, Joker."
O'Hara: "Cowabunga. (Beat) Begorra."

Barbara reappears (perhaps to recover her swimsuit), having passed by Batgirl earlier. "Are you all right, Skip?"
Skip: "I will be as soon as they hook me and the Joker up to that Reverserometer and reverse it."
Robin: "Cowabunga."
Batman: "Begorra."

Back the Office they note Skip's returned to normal and Joker is behind bars for now. 
Batman: "I think these two crime-fighters better call it a day."
Robin: "Let's call it a week, Batman. And really get some sleep."
Batman: "Agreed, old chum."

Narrator: "But just how much rest do the Dynamic Duo have coming? For what startling new crime wave has already begun across the sea from Gotham City? Who are these two new conspirators? Batman and Robin haven't the foggiest notion, but they'll travel 3000 miles to tangle with these treacherous twigs of aristocracy and wind up on the maddest manhunt of all time in that great metropolis of the old world: Londinium. Don't become fogbound! Watch the next episode! Cheerio!"

This would be the season's only three-parter, which is so bad RD sets to review them all at once next recording. It is such a stark contrast from this story, which he considers one of his favorites. And it only needed a half-hour!  They noted everyone was having a fun, especially Hamilton and Repp's beach misadventures. To them it was a encapsulation of a typical Batman episode.

Sivi "Undine" Aberg had been in the show before: she was Mimi, one of Chandell and Harry's trio of ladies. The Bros had given her 8 Batpoles then. Vince gives this appearance 8.5. RD gives 8.75, "basically the same as a 9". Sadly there is still nothing new about her online in the year long gap of reviews. 

RD wrote about the time during Vince's WCW tenure where Bam Bam Bigelow was counted out against Brian Knobbs in a No DQ Falls Count Anywhere match. Even Vince admits it was "ridiculous".

• Special Guest Villain: The Joker [9] (Cesar Romero) [9]

 

• Screen Shares: 2. RD, RD
  

Episode 98: Holy Pounding!: July 10, 2023

Flop Goes the Joker
March 23, 1967
"After thoroughly bamboozling his young patron, the Joker makes his move against the Gotham City Museum for a grand extortion scheme."
61 minutes

RD is Also Magnanimous. I concur based on my personal dealings with him. Vince considers him a brother. I consider him a friend.

Burt Ward is 78 years young today. So too is Sylvester Stallone at 77.

RD: "Can he still be classified as the Boy Wonder?"
Vince: "At heart."

Narrator: "When we last saw Robin, the artful Joker had hung him on a gigantic 'Batmobile' along with dozens of giant palette knives about to slice him to slivers, with Bruce Wayne securely tied to a nearby chair in the monstrous mobile room of Joker's studio. In one moment, we'll find out whether Robin's saved...or shaved."

Bruce manages to get his chair on the mobile as he tries to find the governor, i.e. the speed limiter rather than yet another useless person of authority (the Batgirl of the Undynamic Duo if you will). He manages to stop it, allowing Robin to get free of his bonds, take one of the mobile's (rubber) blades, and cut Bruce's bonds.
Robin: "That was close. Not much room for error."
Bruce: "From now on, all the errors are on Joker. I think we'll prepare a little surprise for him, Robin."

Meanwhile elsewhere in the Institute lair Joker takes a moment to laugh.
Baby Jane (calmed down for the time being): "Joker, you could at least untie us. My hands are getting stiff."
Joker: "Oh, but of course, my dear. The Joker is nothing if not magnanimous. Ha ha ha!"
Mrs. Putney (another captive): "How about me?"
Joker: "Well my generosity does not extended to overweight matrons, madam."
Baby Jane: "Joker, that's not very nice."
Joker: "Well, we artists are not required to be nice. Only talented."

He goes to check the mobile's activator, which has two settings between off and hamburger. He sees on a monitor what he thinks is blood but it's actually red paint.
Robin: "My beautiful red blood is still inside me, no thanks to you."
The Duo delay a fight by throwing swords at the goons to pin them. Joker immediately asks Baby Jane for help.
Baby Jane: "After you tied me up and tried to steal my art collection?"
Joker: "But I couldn't help myself, my dear. I'm an artist. I have a desire for things of beauty.  Beauty's irresistible to me. Oh, that's why I'm so attracted to you, my dear. I swear it, on a stack of Blue Boys."

Vince has to deal with confused people conflating Dave Meltzer rating wrestling matches with Vince rating Batpole women. (:12) RD reminds him not to be swayed by ratings, opinions, and critiques.

The goons free themselves so we can finally get a quick fight. (:21)
Bruce: "I had to let him knock me around a little bit. We don't want these crooks to make any connection between Bruce Wayne and Batman."
Robin: "But it's sure a tough way to throw them off the track."
Bruce (holding his jaw): "Fortunately, I'm in good condition. But we still have to round up the leader of these artistic failures."

Baby Jane: "Your paintings were impressive, Joker. Certainly not the work of an ordinary mind."
This is enough to have her help him for the time being as the Duo burst in.
Joker: "Aaah! Stay away from me! That juvenile delinquent has no appreciation for fine art!"
Baby Jane: "He's just a misguided artist, Robin."
Robin: "And we're going to re-guide him, straight to the Gotham State Penitentiary."
However according to her, technically he has not yet stolen anything and she refuses to press charges. And since the other prisoners don't have as much prestige as her she speaks for all of them (and the "overweight matron" Mrs. Putney). Bruce, who is "reasonably secure socially," nevertheless defers to her judgement. RD considers Bruce's idiocy as Baby Jane and her "big hunk of genius" leave.
Joker: "Tata Boy Bungler, and tell your chicken-hearted partner that if I catch him on the street, I'll run him out of town. Ha ha ha!"
As they untie the prisoners Robin asks Bruce for his reasoning (giving Joker delusions of evading being caught). RD wonders when Batman will make an appearance in his own show.

Narrator: "Presently in the Handsome Mansion of Baby Jane's filthy rich father..."
Joker eats rotisserie chicken for strength while still wearing his gloves. "I could exist on two grapes and a thimble of water. But my muse, my muse is starving."
Baby Jane: "MORE CHICKEN FOR THE JOKER'S MUSE!"
Suddenly getting inspiration from his "muse", his goons knock off everything on the table (including the chicken). The butler then has to watch Joker throw paint everywhere on the table.
Joker: "Look at it this way. You're not losing a table, you're gaining a masterpiece."

Halfway through the progrem recording Batman finally shows up in his own Batcave. How nice of him. (:31) At least Alfred Will Do managed to remove the paint on the costume, and Batman is so happy he touches it very oddly.
Robin: "How can you predict what a kook like that will do?"
Batman: "The criminal mind, erratic as it is, nevertheless has certain characteristic patterns. For  instance, Joker has begun an artistic caper. I suspect he'll continue it."
Robin: "And he can count on Baby Jane Towser's help."
Batman: "Yes, I'm afraid he's completely bamboozled that poor girl and I'm sure he'll try to use her. The question is, how?"

Joker is doing so at the Handsome Mansion by appealing to Baby Jane's future grandchildren. He plans to put his works in place of the "old relics" in the Gotham City Museum.
Joker: "I happen to know that your filthy rich daddy has a special founder's key to the Towser Wing of the museum."
Baby Jane: "Yes, he does, but - "
Joker: "Do you want your genius, me, to find another inspiration?"
Baby Jane: "OH NO JOKER, I MUST ALWAYS BE YOUR INSPIRATION!"

Gordon calls on the Batphone, worried on Joker's radio silence.
O'Hara: "That larcenous phony has something under his hat besides his head."
Batman: "Robin and I would like to handle this ourselves. (Emphasis mine) Especially since Joker has been spreading ugly rumors about me."
Gordon: "Whatever you think best, but no one could believe for a second that you're afraid of that cackling cutpurse."

That night (at the museum), Baby Jane stands in awe as Joker has his "artwork" in place of the previous works, which his goons take away without even checking underneath their coverings. He says he will "burn" them (by stealing them for himself). 

Immediate cut to the lair, where Joker has all the (still covered) paintings while Baby Jane is suddenly tied up. Or as wrote RD: "BJ gagged."
Joker: "Friendship ends when real felony finally takes over."

He calls Gordon's Office...where the Undynamic Duo are asleep.
Joker: "Working nights, Commissioner?"
He asks for $10 million for the paintings within the hour or he will burn the lot.
Batman is also there sneakily behind Joker with his own phone (including an improvised bit where he sees a statue of Joker's head and turns it around).

Joker: "Batman? Ha! That Cowardly Creep? He's so scared of me he doesn't dare come out of his Batcave. ... Oh, you better stay inside, Batboob, because if I catch you outside, I'm going to pin your pointed ears back, do you hear?"

After admitting to his theft he suddenly stops, dramatically pulling back a picture's covering to find that he's actually stolen the works of one Alfred Will Do.
Joker: "You Caped Clotpoll! You switched paintings on me! These are nothing but kindergarten drawings!"
Batman: "Naturally. And even a kindergarten mind could have anticipated your every move. This caper was even more obvious than most."
Joker: "You can say that over the phone, Batman, but if I had you here, I'd pound you to a pulp." 

Batman takes a moment to put his phone down.

Batman: "Start pounding, Joker."

That line was so great, it almost forgives Robin already being replaced by his stunt double at the start of the fight.
Joker also didn't hang up, so the Undynamic Duo hear the fight over the phone. During it Batman breaks a vase over a goon, then puts the flowers on the body. Immediately after Robin does the "look over there!" trick to distract and punch a goon on the nose. 

Joker, sensing he needs to run away, decides out of the blue to first flee to Stately Wayne Manor to see if he can rob its safe.
For some reason he takes Baby Jane with him, and Alfred Will Do answers them at the door.
Alfred: "My duties do not include aiding and abetting thievery."
Joker pulls a gun on Baby Jane to have him take them to the living room where Aunt Harriet is knitting. But instead of finding a safe, he finds a sword pointed at him...by Alfred.

Harriet: "Alfred, be careful. The Joker's an archcriminal."
Alfred: "I know, madam, but a very poor fencer."
Joker: "You Anglo-fink, I'll smash you to smidgens!"
Alfred: "May I point out that smidgens is a childish effusion which should have no place even in so poor a vocabulary as yours, sir."

Alfred wins (so we can confirm he fights better than he paints) but Joker still tries to run away again. (:47) He runs into the study, hitting the Shakespeare head to reveal the button to reveal the Batpoles. But since they're still being repainted they don't have labels, so Joker just thinks it's a regular emergency exit rather than a secret entrance to the Batcave. He goes down one, but Alfred hits the Emergency Batpole Elevator to launch him all the way back up and crash his head on the top.
Joker: "Someone get me off this crazy dumbwaiter! I can't breathe!"
Batman (arriving on the scene): "Joker says he can't breathe, Alfred. Why don't you give him some breathing space?"
Alfred: "With pleasure, sir."
And so Joker starts bouncing up and down.
Robin: "It's lucky you didn't get around to washing our other costumes, or Joker might have found himself wearing a Bat-costume."
RD found the whole sequence "absolutely beautiful."

Baby Jane is still in the living room, where Harriet consoles her for trusting in Joker.
Baby Jane: "I blame myself. It'll be a long time before anyone catches me in another art gallery."
Batman: "It'll be an even longer time for Joker. Right now, Joker's having his ups and downs."
Joker: "Alfred, old pal, have pity!"
Alfred: "We Anglo-finks have a long memory. I really shouldn't take pleasure in another creature's misfortunes, but, occasionally one may be forgiven for a slight twinge of satisfaction."

Back at Bernie Park's Artistic Procurers, Alfred Will Do donates his paintings for the Wayne Foundation Free Nursery School, whatever that means.
Bernie (seeing Gordon): "Excuse me, I think I see a customer ripe for plucking. I mean, interested in buying."
Gordon: "Well, Alfred, it's not everyone who can have his very first efforts displayed at Park's."
Alfred: "Thank you, sir. The Joker and his paintings are in prison, and Alfred and his paintings are at Park's. A rather nice turn of events."
O'Hara is politely interested in buying one but can't afford it, so Alfred just hands a Will Do original to him "as a token of my esteem."
O'Hara (despondent): "Mother McCree."

For having what he considers a (non-Francine) "horse face", Vince gives Baby Jane -1 Batpoles (presumably going the other way up as just demonstrated by Joker). RD won't forget Joker's female accomplice not named Harley Quinn that woodenly screamed almost every line, including demanding more chicken for Joker's muse, and thus gives her a 9. Of course Vince is very much against this drastic difference.
This was probably the career highlight of (age unknown) Diana Ivarson, who had less acting roles and even fewer shouting opportunities. Supposedly she has a Twitter account. Good luck using that these days. Perhaps she's on this new Threads thing? (Assuming she is even still with us and not sick.)

The Arcade is getting a bubble hockey machine from a nearby casino.

"WrestlingCrap" has a WrestleMania match. Vince never had a problem working with Stacy Carter. He thought of Terri Runnels as high maintenance, and this was before she was caught running a house scam.

A different non-wild Mr. Freeze will be the last villain of Season 2.

 

• Special Guest Villain: The Joker [8] (Cesar Romero) [8]

 

• Entertain The People: 1 
• SPEAKING OFs: 1. Unforgettable

Episode 97: Holy Internet Connection!: July 3, 2023

Pop Goes the Joker
March 22, 1967
"When the Joker takes advantage of his vandalism of fine art being appreciated as pop art itself, Batman must discover his true scheme."
64 minutes

RD IS AFRAID OF MONKEY. He is also afraid of Vince's main lights being off due to the heat: "it's scary that I look more professional than you do."

Narrator: "A picturesque day in Gotham City! Even more picturesque than usual! And in one of the many picturesque art galleries where culture-loving Gothamites gather..."

Alfred is at Bernie Park's Artistic Procurers looking for something for his "millionaire Bruce Wayne", particularly an original "Muzzy". I thought he was an alien come to teach English. The shopkeeper offers to introduce the actual artist (and increase his asking price from $5000 to $7500).

Just as "Alfred Will Do" meets (Oliver) Muzzy...he has to run out the back door as the Joker enters the front. He starts spray painting the artwork in a future echo of what he would also do in Burton's Batman. RD wants to watch it for their progrem.

Unfortunately as the Bros remind, Alfred Will Do doesn't have his own utility belt, so he has to call Stately Wayne Manor from a payphone. Thankfully braless Aunt Harriet promptly answers.
Harriet: "Oh, Bruce, Alfred just called from the Park gallery. He's found a painting he thinks you'll be very interested in. It's called "The Laughing Man.""
Bruce: "That's Alfred's way of telling us that one of Gotham City's arch villains is at Park Gallery right  now."
Dick: "Holy tip-off, Joker!"
Bruce: "Exactly, and I think you better continue your art education at the Park Gallery as Robin. To The Bat-poles!"
Personally for a code name I would have gone with The Man Who Laughs, as Conrad Veidt's appearance is a well known influence to the Joker's look (and that in turn of an alternate Batman). 

Also the Batpoles don't have their names signed on them since Alfred had taken them for re-painting. RD immediately gleamed from this how the story would end. Vince wished they mixed up their positions. RD wished they wore their opposite outfits because of this.

For a change they go to Not Gordon's Office, i.e. the art gallery. Joker is still there. This immediately leads to a quick and easy fight. (:13) Joker tries to spray paint Batman and gets punched for his trouble.
Joker: "Ugh. Internal injuries. I'm going to die."
Bernie: "I hope you do, you finagling fiend! Batman, did you see what he did to the pictures? Priceless works of art destroyed forever. Think of the loss to posterity and the loss to my profits."
Batman: "Yes, the damage is irreparable. But at least you can be sure the Joker won't be doing any more decorating for a long time."

Then Vince's connection hits technical difficulties. (:16) RD has to carry the stream for a bit until he can figure things out, having experience with this sort of thing. He uses the time to recommend AEW Fight Forever.

RD: "Always keep in mind kids that when in doubt, blame Russo."

To the surprise of the others (in the gallery), Muzzy loves Joker's contributions to the art. He pops his mouth while doing so, a trademark of his actor Fritz Feld. Vince recognized this from his stint on The Odd Couple.

Joker: "Well, excuse my appearance Mr. Muzzy, but yes, these uncultured boobs have no appreciation for fine art."

Vince wants to call people boobs again.  

Joker offers Muzzy a 50/50 "split, I mean co-authorship" for their newly interpreted paintings.
Joker (to Batman): "Peasant! Philistine! Ha ha ha! Well, what can you expect from a man who appears in public in such a ridiculous outfit? (He paints a J on the Batlogo) There, Batman, now you're wearing
an original Joker, signed by the artist! Ha ha ha! Come, boys. Let's leave this zoo full of bourgeois baboons. And henceforth, Batman, stay out of art galleries, hmm? Ha ha ha!"
Robin: "Are we just going to let him walk out of here?"
Batman: "We have no choice, Robin. He's committed no crime. As a matter of fact, he's increased the  value of these paintings. I think we should discuss this with Commissioner Gordon."

RD: "So...what was Joker's original plan? Because he got caught by Batman at the beginning of this. Had Muzzy not decided that "hey, this looks a lot better", Joker would be in jail. This would be the shortest episode ever!" (:26)

Finally at the Office, O'Hara is annoyed by "the nerve of that clown" by painting on the costume, which has somehow changed appearance between scenes.
Batman: "What concerns us is his potential damage to Gotham City. I'm sure Joker has some larger
scheme of which this only the first step."
O'Hara: "You're right, Batman. That crook has something up his sleeve besides his elbow."
Batman suggests more guarding of museums and private collections while he returns to the Batcave to figure out what to do next. 

Vince's internet continues to act up but at least he's still audible.

At the Batcave Alfred Will Do tries to scrub the paint away from the costume that Batman is still wearing while apologizing about the repainted Batpoles. Gordon calls to tell them Joker has been invited to the "Gotham City International Art Contest" and wants to send 50 plainclothes. Yet again Batman declines, knowing how well that will turn out. Instead he asks for just one.
Batrman: "Preferably a man who knows Baby Jane Towser, the wealthy young socialite who organized  the contest.
Gordon: "I've got it. Bruce Wayne, the millionaire philanthropist. He's cooperated with us many times in the past and travels in the same social circles as Towser."
Towser is a reference to Baby Jane Holzer, similarly a young socialite who was associated with Warhol around that time.

We see Towser at the Contest, who RD considers attractive but "with a very grading voice" that she constantly shouted with. Vince finds more of an issue with her face than her exaggerated performance. 

Also competing are "Pablo Pincus" (who for some reason wears a sombrero), "Jackson Potluck" (a hippie with a wheelbarrow of paint), "Leonardy Devinsky" ("painter of the world famous fresco Midnight Snack" with an organ grinder monkey on his shoulder), and "Vincent Van Gauche" (with both ears). Compared to them the Joker gets applause.
Dick: "How can they clap for that crook?"
Bruce: "Don't forget, Dick, this is a hometown crowd and Joker is from Gotham City."

The contestants have three minutes to paint, and Towser shoots an actual handgun indoors as a starting pistol. Potluck dips his whole body in the paint and rolls around on the canvas. Devinsky's monkey throws tomatoes. Van Gauche uses his feet which the audience laughs at. Joker...doesn't even touch his brush to the paper.

Bruce: "Modern art tends to be rather unrestrained, Dick."

As the judges evaluate the works, the monkey gives the angriest look for some reason.
Judge: "I kind of like what the monkey did."
Joker: "My painting is titled Death of a Mauve Bat."
Baby Jane: "WHERE IS THE BAT?"
Joker: "Well the bat, gentlemen, is dead. It died in 1936, a very bad year for bats."
Other Judge: "Of course the bat is dead."
Joker: "It's symbolic."
Other Other Judge: "Symbolic of what?"
Baby Jane: "THE EMPTINESS OF MODERN LIFE. WHAT ELSE?"

Of course Joker is declared winner, much to the increased anger of the monkey. 
Joker: "As winner of the grand prize I would like to announce the opening of a new school for aspiring  artists where I personally will instruct my students in the secrets of modern art. Yes, applications for the  Joker Art Institute are now being accepted by my assistants. Sorry, millionaires only, please."
Baby Jane volunteers for the "BIG HUNK OF GENIUS" as a heiress to a paperclip fortune. Bruce, seeing what he thinks Joker's plan is, decides to also enroll.
Bruce: "Aren't you going to give me a test to see whether I have talent?"
Joker: "Oh, the rich, the well-born and the able, Mr. Wayne, all have talent. Especially the rich."

Vince: "So this has to go, like you said, all the way back to him ruining those pieces of art to eventually open up his own art school to enroll millionaires only?"
RD: "Yes. And the only way this would've worked is if Muzzy would've decided that this is a great idea. That's why I said: if Muzzy is not in on this, I don't know how."

Robin and Alfred already are tracking Bruce back at the Batcave, leading to the ever hidden lair of...the Joker Art Institute, already open for business. (:42) Joker has his students (all women, except for Bruce), paint a still life of (plastic) fruit.
RD: "Why was this ever a thing?"

Of course Joker takes his chance to critique his students drawing with such artistic mediums as bent metal rods, red putty, barbed wire, and a blow torch (labelled by Baby Jane). Bruce easily (of course) sculptures an actual looking bowl out of modelling clay.
Joker: "Well, that's terrible. Terrible, Wayne. Why, even a 3-year-old could do better than that. Here, let me show you. (He turns the bowl upside down) There. That's more like it."
Bruce: "Yes, I see what you mean. That's about the level of a 3-year-old."
Joker: "I do the jokes around here, Wayne."
Bruce: "I'd say that was one of your better ones."
Unable to think up any better jest in response, Joker instead goes straight to having his remaining goons take everyone hostage in exchange for their art collections. 

Gordon immediately calls on the Batphone to share this new development. Robin gets going, again telling the Commissioner not to send any of his men. "If the police show up, innocent people might be hurt." And that's just from the officers!
Robin (to Alfred Will Do): "You stay here and watch the Bat-radarscope in case Joker moves while I'm en route. I'll take the emergency Bat-tunnel. It comes out on Highway One and I can catch a bus to Gotham City."

Joker hopes Bruce doesn't deliver on his art so he can just kill him. Rather than just do so right now?
Bruce: "I hope you're better at that than at painting."
Before he does so Robin enters for another fight, this time with Bruce. Well actually it's Bruce's 50 year old stunt double assisting against Joker's yellow haired stunt double. (:52) Robin doesn't have his own bad looking stunt double as he falls into and gets stuck in red putty. His mask almost comes off as he raises his head. Bruce is also quickly subdued and tied up. 

Goon: "Why ain't Batman here, Joker?"
Joker: "Because he's afraid of me, you dolt! Yes, I knew the day would come when his spine would turn to Batjelly. I'm only sorry he isn't here to enjoy a special surprise I cooked up for him. But Bruce Wayne will do as a substitute. I'm beginning to dislike him as much as Batman."

Joker's trap is a "very mobile" Mobile, though sadly not Bat or Joker. "As soon as I leave here, I will activate a motor that will start it rotating. Let's see how long you can dodge these razor sharp palette knives, Boy Bumpkin!"
Robin: "Holy hamburger, I'll be cut to pieces by these blades!"

Narrator: "Robin diced to dribbles?  Batman certainly can't help him. Will the Joker go free to master the art of crime? And make a crime of art? Find out tomorrow! Same Bat Time! Same Bat Channel!"

Big Bossman had a mother.

 

• Special Guest Villain: The Joker [8] (Cesar Romero) [8]

Episode 85: Holy Jokemobile!: April 9, 2023

The Joker's Last Laugh
February 15, 1967
"Counterfeit money is being distributed by respectable citizens in Gotham City. Batman and Robin investigate, and find one of the Joker's lifelike robots substituting for a bank teller. They are certain who is behind the crime. But to get actual proof, Batman plans to visit the villain as Bruce Wayne and trick him into disclosing his operation. When his scheme suddenly backfires, it appears he will instead have to appoint the Joker as Vice Chairman of the Gotham National Bank."
The Joker's Epitaph
February 16, 1967
"The Joker is now Vice Chairman of the Gotham National Bank, due to an unsuccessful plan of Batman's. He installs his robots as tellers, and despite his criminal past, seems to be running things in perfect order. The Dynamic Duo realize they will have to trick him into making a mistake in order to remove him. They go to work on a plan to gain control of his robots. But that plan is jeopardized when, due to an odd turn of events, Batman's true identity Bruce Wayne is declared mentally ill and hauled off in a straight-jacket."
83 minutes

RD: Says Economics IS Dull was away overseas the previous week. (Vince jokes he went to Gotham.) The Bros make up for it by making fun of McMahon's black marker hair. RD references The Fly.

Vince sleeps with one eye open.

Both forget that the episode originally aired on Cesar Romero's 60th birthday.

Narrator: "Outside the Gotham City National Bank, wealthy young socialite Miranda Fleece is about to perform an act of charity."
The Bros agree she is more attractive than the Joker's actual girl Josie. despite the rather dubious surname. I think it's more for the piece of clothing instead of her being a potential con artist.

She gives a $100 bill to a bum passer-by, who immediately finds it's counterfeit because it's only printed on one side. "Help! Police! Fuzz!" he shouts off the top of the head. 

Office Gordon is already "baffled" by this, one of a string of incidents "being passed not by criminals
but by well-known pillars of society ... It's almost as if some deranged mind were trying to taunt our very sanity."
Suddenly a Joker laugh is heard, which is such a heinous deed that -
Gordon: "Once again we take our poor cracked pitcher to the Caped Crusader's well."

At Stately Wayne Manor:
Dick: "Gosh, economics is sure a dull subject."
Multimillionaire businessman Bruce: "Oh, you must be jesting, Dick. Economics dull, the glamour, the romance of commerce, it's the very life blood of our country's society. Frankly, I can think of nothing  more stimulating than economics and commerce - "
Alfred: "Begging your pardon, sir. It's the telephone in the study, sir."
Harriet: "Mercy alive, the way that boy [Dick] changes his mind. I wonder if he's over-tired."

Gordon: "Words are superfluous." He plays the Joker's laughter over the phone.
Dick: "Holy funny bone, The Joker!"
Bruce: "Courage, commissioner, courage. Joker seldom has the last laugh. To the Batpoles!"

The Duo come to the Office over the titles, where Batman makes the great deduction that Joker is trying to make them equally mad.
Robin: "Joker knows we'll need every ounce of our sanity to outwit his filthy plot."
They adjust their Bat-Detector for "super laugh track sensitivity" to track the sound comes from a loudspeaker somehow in Gordon's left cuff link somehow planted on there by the "agile" Joker. This leads to a tubed antenna in the left trouser leg which he pulls out from the waist.
Robin: "Holy chutzpah."
Batman: "This [counterfeit] was passed by an innocent dupe?"
RD considers changing his display name to Innocent Dupe.
The Duo go to investigate a "shady bank".

The Joker makes his lair in..."Penthouse Publishers, formerly innocent purveyors of mirth". This is though completely unrelated to the then active Penthouse Publications, only based in the UK at the time. (:15)
Joker (to his moll): "Oh, this continued mirth is exhausting, even for the Clown Prince of Crime. That  dunderhead Gordon, he couldn't find a haystack in a needle factory. No, you can be quite certain, sweet Josie Miller, the failure of our tiny receiver means Batman is on the job."
Josie: "Gee, I'm not very glad to hear that, Joker."
Joker: "My foolish, trepidatious child, he's not headed here. Why even as we speak, you can bet he's racing to the bank and doom."
He summons two goons named Yock and Boff to prepare, and two waxen robots do some stretches.
Joker: "Comically lifelike, aren't they? They were my manual training project last spell I did in that filthy penitentiary." (What, all two weeks?)
The robo-goons demonstrate their strength, and then an alarm sounds signifying the Duo's arrival at the shady bank. The villains all speed out to watch on the "roving robot recorder".

At the bank the branch manager, one Mr. F Flamm, claims no involvement in the counterfeiting. The only development was his head teller. "He went out for a sandwich at noon and didn't return. He did send in a substitute, I'm pleased to say, Mr. Glee."
Of course he is a robot. Banks were certainly more trusting in not doing their due diligence in checking their employees, huh.
Batman: "Good afternoon, Mr. Glee. I'm Batman."
Glee: "Obviously, sir."
Batman notices Glee's collar button and pokes it, giving observing Joker a fit that he's touching his hidden camera.
Riddler Batman: "Tell me, Mr. Glee, why is a collar button like an old pile of burning automobile tires? Answer. Because they both choke."
Glee responds by exploding.
Robin: "Holy clockworks, a mechanical marvel."
Flamm: "I'm flabbergasted, Batman. How on Earth did you know that was a robot?"
Robin: "Simple, Mr. Flamm, even the most infallible robots have one defect. They have no sense of  humor. Batman told him a funny joke. [Emphasis mine] When the creature didn't laugh that was proof."
Batman: "Well, you wretched ruin, I guess we'll take you back to the Batcave. One last warning, Mr.  Flamm. The next time your chief teller goes out for a sandwich, and sends a stranger back in his place, scrutinize him carefully. I'm sure I speak for the chairman of the board, millionaire Bruce Wayne, in saying that you owe that to all of your depositors."

This is all by Joker's plan though, because they can use the homing beacon in Glee's remains to track the Batcave.
Joker: "Quick! To the Jokemobile!"
Cue everyone trying to fit into a Ford Model "Mongrel" T (previously used in an Elvis movie).

Of course the Duo are aware of the tracker.
Robin: "What'll we do, Batman, lure them into an ambush and bash them with our Batarangs?"
Instead they use their Bat-Deflector to send them elsewhere. What they think is the labelled secret entrance to the Batcave is in fact a small manhole labelled "Laugh, criminals, laugh!"
Needless to say Joker is enraged: "I'll have it! By all the saints of wicked mirth, I'll have it! The last  laugh will still be mine!"

In the actual Batcave the Duo place Glee on the  "Integro-Differential Robot Analyzer" but find nothing unusual. Thankfully they have Alfred's "keen sartorial sense", who notices the sleeve buttons are all wrong. Batman takes a sample for the "Bat-Spot Analyzer" and detects printer's ink.
Batman: "Transferred to the cloth when that cheapskate pressed his robot's wear in his printing press."
Alfred: "Bless my steam iron, how revolting."
Batman: "Revolting, indeed, Alfred, like the colors of these inks: arsenic green, rotten apple red, bilious blue. I believe there's just one sort of legitimate printing firm that would employ such hues."
Robin: "A firm that prints comic books."
Batman: "Right again, Robin."
They link it to newly sold Penthouse Publishers, sold to one "W. C. Whiteface".

At the lair W. C. Whiteface continues to be in a foul mood. An intruder alarm goes off, triggered by...Bruce Wayne. Sorry, millionaire Bruce Wayne.
Bruce makes a show of being "ruined, bankrupt, wiped out", to Joker's confusion. "I hardly dare ask it, Mr. Whiteface, but do you know anyone who could print me up a batch of counterfeit currency?"
Joker: "What a curious request to make of a legitimate business man such as myself."
Bruce: "Yes, I know it does seem a bit odd but you see, I foolishly succumbed to the temptation of  speculation with the funds of the Wayne Foundation, and the results were catastrophic. Tomorrow is the annual accounting and if I don't have 1 million dollars in cash I will be headed up the river without a paddle. I chanced to be thumbing through one of the comic books that you publish and it struck my eye: the inks that you use are identical to the inks used by the United States Treasury."

Josie suspects a trap, but Joker thinks there may be some truth to it even if so. And Bruce says he will appoint him Vice Chairman of Gotham National Bank for his cooperation.
A now intrigued Joker agrees to help by providing a sample, so Bruce secretly signals Robin to break in through a window.
Joker: "Robots, give him a whimsical whammy."
Cue Robin Victor Paul fighting solo. He does so well that Bruce joins in by colliding into the robots. An even more confused Joker activates the "Robot Super Strength Last Ounce Of Energy" switch to let the robots win.

Robin is then tied to a comic book press about to be smashed.
Bruce: "Mr. Whiteface, this is murder."
Joker: Well, how true, Mr. Wayne, yes...and just to ensure against a double-cross, you will perform it."

Narrator: "Indignities of indignities! Robin printed into a comic book? Bruce Wayne his old chum's killer? For the crushing finale, tune in tomorrow! Same Battime, Same Batchannel!"

 

...

 

The Bros find the episode titles rather morbid, especially as Joker still remains to cause more havoc and mayhem. But to Vince nothing can be as bad as BatAlfred keeping his beard. He probably got that from the Joker('s mustache). (:35)

The Bros again mock McMahon's attempt at a mustache.
RD: "He had Burt Reynolds at a Wrestlemania!"
Vince thinks Dutch Mantell had the best mustache.

Narrator:"When we last saw the Boy Wonder he was about to be printed into a horrible human comic  book, and Bruce Wayne was being forced to push the switch that would stamp Robin's doom. What way out? Frankly, this observer fears there's none. The answer in just one moment. ... 

But on the street below the doomful scene, trusty Alfred has a Batman plan."

Yes, it's time once again for Alfred to wear the cowl.  

Alfred (on a Batcommunicator): "Master Robin, Mr. Wayne, sir, do you read me? Do you read me, sir? ... Oh, dear. Bless my vertigo."

And so Alfred Batclimbs up the wall. RD would watch him do so all day. Jack LaLanne would have been a window celebrity for it.

Alfred breaks in through another window with Bruce again ventriloquisting his voice. He throws a Batgas canister to drive the goons away through a suit of cards as a door.
Robin: "Gosh, yes, I should have thought of that."
Bruce: "No, don't blame yourself, Robin. It's sometimes difficult to think clearly when you're strapped  to a printing press."

Unfortunately to aid his initial plan Bruce made an actual legally binding document for Joker to be Vice Chairman, which he managed to take.
Robin: "Holy bankruptcy."

Sure enough after the real Batman dons the cowl and they return to the bank branch, Joker has already made quick work in installing his robot tellers providing counterfeits. (:44)
Joker: "What can I do for you? Perhaps a small Batcave improvement loan?"
Flamm: "Mr. Whiteface has this branch in apple pie order."
Batman: "Are you aware that your new tellers are actually a pair of robots?"
Flamm: "Oh, well, yes, I did suspect that, but our customers find them positively charming, and our  mid-day audit was correct to the penny."

...Did Joker just invent personless/automated banking? Never mind online banking, this was two years before the first ATM went into service (in nearby New York). He could have legitimately made a fortune that way. 

Robin: "That twisted mocking fiend! What's he up to?"
Batman: "All too obvious, he's playing honest to set the stage for a criminal coup that will stagger our imaginations."
Seeing him and Josie exit the building they attempt to follow: "from the look on his face, they're off to rob a church poor box."
Joker: "Why, you impertinent flying rodent. Miss Miller and I are off to see my associate, millionaire Bruce Wayne, on a most important matter."
They get in the Jokemobile. Robin thinks the vehicle is not street legal, forgetting the one they already drive in. They shout really loudly that they're driving away in the Batmobile, and on returning home they immediately inform Alfred of Joker's visit.

Above ground in Stately Wayne Manor, Joker has a tape recording of Bruce asking for his "help".
Dick: "Gosh, Bruce, how could you?"
Bruce: "Temptation, Dick. A sudden drop in the stock market, a search for an easy way. It's ruined stronger men than myself. So, Mr. Whiteface, what's the point of your gloomy reprise?"
Joker: "Blackmail, Mr. Wayne."
Dick: "You ungrateful devil. Isn't it enough that Bruce appointed you vice chairman of the bank?"
Bruce: "Don't dip your oar in this sordid sea, Dick. You might get besmirched."
Joker: "Imagine my ghastly situation, Mr. Wayne. Legally installed in the bank but watched like an  insect by that infernal Caped Crusader. If I misappropriate a dime, the Bat will pounce."
Bruce: "Yes, I can understand for someone of your dubious character that might prove annoying."

Joker will publicly release the recording unless Bruce gives up the dead bodies of the Duo.
Bruce: "That is impossible."
Dick: "Bruce Wayne may be a crooked embezzler, but he's not a killer. Right, Bruce?"
Bruce: "You phrase it well, Dick. Since the murder of my parents by dastardly criminals violence has  been anathema to me."

So Joker has a backup plan: have Bruce marry Josie for $3 million.
Josie: "I'll be faithful forever in my fashion. I'll love you until the oceans are hung up and dried."
Joker immediately informs a paper so that a next day newsie can headline: "Millionaire Bruce
Wayne to wed reformed gun moll, banker's pretty protégé."

In the Office the Undynamic Duo shirk their jobs by remarking on the situation...then calling Batman for some reason.
Gordon: "Batman, have you read the dire news about Bruce Wayne?"
Batman: "Love is blind, commissioner. Bruce Wayne is over 21. I fear there is nothing we can do. (To Robin) She's a fetching creature, Robin. Bruce might find it not without certain pleasures."
Robin: "Holy madness, Batman, I don't dig this. Bruce Wayne didn't embezzle, that was just a ploy. Joker's blackmail threat isn't worth a tinker's darn."
Batman can't really tell the truth, since doing so would reveal his true identity. He does have one thing he can use: Glee's remains.

Narrator: "Watch out, Bruce Wayne, for as the Caped Crusaders toil, a strange meeting takes place in Commissioner Gordon's office."

The two "policemen" are still obsessing over the match enough that they have actually brought in one Dr. Floyd to determine that Bruce is suffering from "the well-known second childhood syndrome" which mandates sending him to Arkham Asylum "some mental institution". (:57)
Gordon: "Chief O'Hara? Alert your anti-lunatic squad. If Batman won't help us, we'll do it ourselves. Bring in millionaire Bruce Wayne in a straitjacket!"

At least the Duo have managed to revive Glee ("in the name of justice").
Robin: "Holy Frankenstein!"
Batman (rubbing his hands together): "Now the fun begins, Robin."
Alfred calls to inform him of O'Hara's presence, so Batman whispers his plan to his protege. 

This plan does involve Bruce being taken away in a straitjacket to "Happy Acres". Alfred informs Robin, who in turn tells Alfred to again put on the site to drive the Batmobile. 

Cut to Bruce riding with the anti-lunatic squad in a blue van painted black, as the Batmobile follows at ludicrous speed. Robin fires a Batray to open the doors, then uses the Batmagnet to pull him out, where Alfred has a spare suit for him instead of "this overly tailored jacket.". The clothing transformation behind a bush only takes three seconds, then the Duo are away. 

Gordon is brought with the Duo to the bank as they tell Joker of Bruce's mentality, once again infuriating the Crown Prince to no mind.
Josie: "Joker, never mind, we've still got me and Brucie."
Suddenly Glee appears, calling her his wife.
Gordon: "So that's your game, aiding and abetting attempted bigamy!"
Meanwhile the robot tellers begin outright robbing the customers. 
Batman: "Don't look at us, Joker. We just dropped in for that small Batcave improvement loan that you mentioned, but in view of the strange criminal activity that seems to be transpiring here..."
Joker verbally takes back control of the robots so they can have their fight.
Batman: "That's the trouble with robots, Robin. They lack even the most minimal sense of loyalty."
Cue Joker's ridiculous looking stunt double once again engaging with the others. His wig doesn't even match!

Robin: "It was all a bluff, Joker. We didn't have one darn thing on you until you ordered those robots to try to kill us."
The Bros wonder if there was any villainous plan at all since things were all over the place.
Josie: "Batman, if ever you see Bruce Wayne, tell him...tell him it might have been fun."

Vince still does not like the women being older than they appear to be, and at 30 years old too.
RD: "When you worked with any women in wrestling did you ever tell them that at 30 years old you're too old?"
Vince gives her some points for "a nice clev-age shot" but it's still only a "kind" 6.5 Batpoles. RD also gave her 6.5 for being "completely average in every way".
Phyllis Douglas was the daughter of the well known assistant director Ridgeway Callow, whose work on Gone With The Wind gave her an appearance at just two years old as Bonnie Blue Butler. Her work was mostly in the 50s and 60s, leaving the industry for real estate until her passing (in 2010).

The Bros once again mock McMahon for trying to look like Clark Gable. Although I'm sure he (frankly) would not give a damn. 

At the Office, Dr. Floyd gives Bruce a physical examination to determine that he is in fact totally recovered. (:71) "Without doubt, the bump on the head when he accidentally fell from the paddy  wagon restored him among us sane peoples. If only I could make a similar examination of the head from the Fledermaus Mensch."
Gordon: "The brain of Batman, oh, miraculous!"
Bruce: "I'll make you a bet, doctor. If you were to have the opportunity to study Batman's brain with all its myriad flaws. I think you'd find it not terribly unlike my own."
O'Hara: "Mother of mercy, get the smelling salts! Mr. Wayne is having a relapse!"

The Bros found the story lacking, even with a German doctor. RD is reminded of Bobby Heenan doing a similar skit. 

Reminder: WrestleCrap has been going on for 23 years now.

Instead of watching the next story (of Catwoman), the Duo are to instead go over 79's Legends of the Superheroes. RD also plans to visit Vince in Colorado by then.

 

• Special Guest Villain: The Joker [7] (Cesar Romero) [7]

 

• SPEAKING OFs: 2. Bad, The fuzz
• Blue Van: 1. (Black)