Random Thoughts from the Office: September 11, 2012

It is a very strange, very sombre sort of day today and not just for the obvious reason. There seems to be some sort of a pathetic irony that as we remember in our own ways the tragic events that happened 11 years ago that many of us as wrestling fans are waiting and praying that Jerry "The King" Lawler pulls through this, his greatest challenge and survives and even continues to thrive.

Now I'm not going to sit here and go through all the events one by one and how there is that weird Owen Hart vibe going on. Blah already did that better than I could. What I want to do is talk about how I saw it watching on TV and how I really feel sitting here today waiting as many of you are, waiting for any news, be it good or (I pray it's not) bad.

You see, Jerry Lawler to me is one of the final, tangible links to my childhood. I grew up as a wrestling fan, I've watched since I was 3 years old and so many of the heroes of my past are either dead or somewhere I can't see them any more. I spoke a little about that when Randy Savage passed away last year but while I was distraught over the Macho Man's death, I still had one very close piece to hang onto, that being Jerry "The King" Lawler.

It seems amazing that he has such a hold on people when he was so hated when he first came into the then WWF and began a fued with Bret "Hitman" Hart over his victory at King of the Ring. Lawler had something so few people ever get in this business. REAL heat. Tangible Heat. I myself always call it "Total Dickhood" after a famous angle in Japan featuring Dick Togo; you get the crowd so riled up that they almost want to kill you and thus will pay big money to see the babyface beat you up. In another twist of irony the example I always bring up of this is Jerry Lawler's cousin, The Honky Tonk Man, who did it so well when he was Intercontinental Champion.

But through the years as he transitioned from a full time wrestler to an announcer who occasionally wrestled on TV and the like, Lawler grew to become liked, respected, in some cases even loved. The reasons for this are many but I personally think that he says a lot of the things the audience are thinking, especially during the Attitude Era. By doing that and showing just as much emotion as he always has, Jerry became one of the key things, not just for me but for all of us. You can see that just by the reaction of Michael Cole when he was giving the updates last night.

The fleeting images we saw of Cole during the matches that followed that moment were perhaps the eeriest of all. I have no doubt that the people in the back were keeping him updated as things went on and you have to wonder how you would've done in that situation. I don't know if Cole and Lawler were close, I'd imagine they'd have to be for Lawler to allow him to get offense on him and do so well in some of their matches, so there is at least a mutual respect there. I think there's more than that though. Sean Coulthard was a man who covered the Yugoslav Civil War, he covered the Siege at Waco, he's seen true tragedy, true suffering, pure evil and when he saw a friend, a man he's worked alongside for so long, collapse, he did two things that if you take nothing else out of this, speaks wonders for the type of human being Mr. Coulthard is. He kept things professional; even as EMT's rushed the table just meters away from him, Michael Cole was able to call the match, keep things together enough until he knew the full story and carry on.

He also allowed the emotion, the fear to come. THIS is where I differ from Blah slightly. You see I go back to the night Owen Hart died and it always seems somewhat surreal to me and I think last night I finally understood why. You hear the old cliche about the "Owen Hart Voice", where an announcer will drop his octaves down to almost a whisper as he announces bad news or something like that. I look back on JR and Lawler from that night and it almost seems like I'm watching robots (I admit that may be my memory blocking it out as I haven't watched Over The Edge since that night, nor do I ever want to). Cole let his emotions show and by doing that he let you know that this wasn't story, this WAS real. The image of Cole sitting silent at the table with his head in his hands will stick with me for a long, long time. But make no mistake, whether you want to call him Michael Cole or Sean Coulthard, he did more than most of us will ever hope we could do if we were put in that situation. Last Night was the night Monday Night Raw no longer was JR's former show, it became Michael Cole's. Love him or hate him you have to respect him for what he did.

So as we wait for news we pray and hope things will be okay. As I went to bed last night, my prayers were with Jerry Lawler. However my thoughts for the most part were not with him, they weren't with Michael Cole either, as much as I have a new found respect for him. They weren't even with wrestling.

They were with Fabrice Muamba

For those of you who don't know the name, Fabrice Muamba was a soccer player. He had a dream, just like Jerry Lawler, just like so many who enter the sport of wrestling to be the best he could be, and he made arguably the biggest league of them all, the English Premier League, playing first for Birmingham and then Bolton. He was a lot like Jerry Lawler, doing the thing he loved the most and being damn good at it.

Till one day it all changed.

On March 17 this year while playing in a League Cup Semi Final, Muamba collapsed, much like Lawler did on Raw, just like Lawler his heart stopped. But unlike Lawler, Muamba was not (allegedly) revived after 20 minutes, he wasn't revived after 30 minutes, he wasn't even revived after 60 minutes.

Fabrice Muamba's heart was stopped for 78 minutes.

It was only through not giving up and determination that Muamba was brought back and while he will never play soccer again. Muamba's life is for the most part normal, he will be able to be happy and healthy because people never gave up on him.

Yes my thoughts were with Fabrice Muamba and through his story it gave me hope that maybe Jerry Lawler will survive this too; he is in for one hell of a fight but a fight is something "The King" has never back down from. I believe that like Muamba, he'll come back and win as well.

Clarence "Showstealer" Mason

Absurdity

I was at the Raw showing the other day.

And if things had gone as planned I would have written about something completely different than what I am about to write today (though it may very well come quite similar to that). I would have written about how the whole show was as awful as the current inhabitant Habitant. I would have written about Bret Hart returning to the Centre Bell for the first time in a wrestling capacity in 15 years just to stand around the ring and look bemused. I would have written about another 'exciting' Divas match. (in the buildup to the one at a PPV no less!) I would have written about the usual back and forth between combatants that just gets old after a little while.

But I won't. Because something else happened that trumped all that.

I hate parroting the news from other places, but I feel it is needed again here for my benefit in my writing. After being randomly involved in an improper tag team match (one of what felt like twenty that transpired that evening), Jerry Lawler suffered a heart attack while commentating on a tag team match featuring the unlikely tandem of Daniel Bryan and Kane. (Which was unrelated to his attack, if such a thing can have some positive angle.)

I saw the thing all unfold in front of my very own eyes too while following the typical boring commentary on a separate feed. He faded out, collapsed in his chair, brought the rather fatigued crowd to him away from the ring (and the alarmed looks of fear from the combatants), got the VERY prompt arrival of the WWE and Bell emergency crew. Then after a few minutes of Michael Cole all alone, he brought out the news in his Owen voice of what had happened to those at home. How it was "not part of the show".

I was certainly not the only one raising an eyebrow at that 'development'. This is WWE after all, Vince would do just about anything to get more people interested in his work.

The silence then arrived.

It left a sour feeling in me that has yet to fully be gone by the time I write this. It was the fear of having the hammer fall, that it was indeed the worst of things, of hearing the news that someone had passed on right in front of us on what was supposed to be a good time for all.

It DEFINITELY brought back memories of Owen Hart; which is ironic. Lawler was there to see his tragic fall, Vince made the decision to have the show go on (which is something I am sure Lawler would have agreed with also), the man of the (three) hour Bret was severely affected by it...and then later he suffered a stroke.

It is still too early to say though. All signs seem to put Lawler in a much more favorable position than previously thought, thank God. He seems to be slowly recovering and fighting for it, as I know he probably would. The long term effects of this have yet to be seen, obviously - that is the more worrying part. Anything from this could pop up later down the line; I guess it's something we have to deal with on its own terms.

But this is not the reason I wanted to write this. Partly because I would be terrible in writing about it, but also because some have already done it better than me. The John Report (by John Canton obviously) summarized the show and his similar hazy watching of what went on better than I would have had, and I was there in person. The Masked Man David Shoemaker already wrote about his reaction to what transpired. With Leather's Brandon Stroud is honest in not liking the character, but in wishing the man a healthy recovery. "The heart is usually a best part of a wrestler," he so eloquently stated.

No, the whole thing and how it reminded me so much of the Owen tragedy reminded me of how absurd wrestling can be, and as such as a microcosm of life as a whole.

Now obviously I'm not going to off on a long spiel of how life reflects wrestling and vice versa. That would take too long and I'm a terrible philosopher. But even without that and the obvious responses of "why yes, wrestling IS crazy and absurd, where have you been living all this time, Mars? Did you come to Earth through that exploring robot whom you befriended?", having the incident combined like a sudden and impulsive ingredient only made things even more so. And this is on a personal level rather than just writing on something that has a more larger impact. Hell, I was stuck with an absurdly bad radio progrem for nearly seven years, so I know my absurd when I see it.

Let me count the ways.

• The rather silent crowd. (Almost more silent than the silent commentary we had.) This is rather surprising considering how emotional Montreal can get. (*AhemRichardRiotAhem*) I haven't seen that much initial apathy from the crowd in general than from a recent average home loss to Toronto or so, despite their Oles and various chants and the like. (Though they did chant for the fallen King of course, which I can give them for.) They did pick up by the end with that whole debate, but the fire had less been taken out of them than it wasn't really much there to begin with. That's what I like about our crowds - we can get emotional (in a good way) about just about anything. Not so here for some reason, and perhaps a portent of things to come.
• To Kick or not to Kick? Forget the unfunny taped segment we had then (in which during another damn year of Linda running for Senate you can fire someone for making a bad joke but it's perfectly acceptable to make fun of an entire ethnic group); it's rather funny having the always great Rodriguez being 'hurt' by a kick that's at the same strength as just about any other kick you see in the ring these days (he sells it well though, so I can't complain).
• The impromptu tag team match that the King was involved in. First it was just a normal (but good moving) fight, then Dolph Ziggler jumps in, then Lawler jumps in because, why not? It's got to be better than doing commentary with Cole...then it's just a two-on-one handicap style match because Punk is as bored with the show as the audience is, and he doesn't want to look bad before his PPV. (I know, he's 'bored' due to focusing on his title defense story-wise, but whenever he does bored he can't help but keep showing it in some sort of perverse manner, like even he KNOWS he finds this all funny.) So it's once again the old timers dominating the new blood. And I thought TNA had that market cornered.
• Paul Heyman comes to 'confer' with Punk to further the furthered storyline. At this point (from what I saw of the match through my online feed while I was there), the cameraman COMPLETELY forgets about the match in the ring to focus on these two...talking. I know it is to add 'mystique' into a match that desperately needs it, but this is akin to someone making a film (say, about the First World War) where there's this huge battle going on...in the background, while we focus on two guys in the trenches just talking about the weather.
• Speaking about talking about the weather...the mike also has to be close to catch Ms. Guerrero try to excuse herself into the duo's conversations to wonder what on earth is going on. Of course, she is promptly rejected and the two soldier on. Now obviously they have to pretend to be talking about the upcoming PPV and all that; they could be actually talking in jibberish (although I can definitely see Heyman talking in Latin because he can)/ Unfortunately the sound guy stands a bit too close rather than just pulling out and watching from afar, as the two continue to 'discuss' their strategy...which involves Punk asking Heyman if there are any good places to eat in Montreal. I was saddened Paul didn't tell him that he has to eat at Schwartz's, the jewel of the St. Laurent Boulevard. For all we know they may have continued by having Heyman ask him to be on his show or something. But that sort of unintentional break of the fourth wall totally took me out of it. 
• The silence on the commentary. I never pay attention to these things much and I certainly didn't here, but the absence certainly struck me, bringing a new strangeness to things. It was almost as if I was watching that one time when NWO took over Nitro and ran things their way, with similar results. I would not be sure if I liked or disliked it, but I don't think I can make an opinion on this instance due to the circumstances that brought such a thing to be. Silence was the only appropriate thing to do here, and it succeeded.   
• One thing that the show has nothing to blame for: I do find it absurd that Lawler would be extremely healthy for a guy at his age (about as straight-edge as Punk here, not smoking or drinking or doing anything untoward unhealthy despite being in his 60s, his only vice being his love for Coca-Cola, a love I also have). Of course, heart disease is something that can affect anyone at any time regardless of physical and mental condition, and we all know a friend or family member that's suffered through such a thing, but the fact that it had to strike right now at such a time and place (during a live show in action no less!) does seem...cosmically bizarre. On the other hand, at least he had all those emergency personnel right there to help him immediately; if it weren't for their promptness I don't think he would have been alive right now. For this we must be thankful.
• The absurd notion that someone has been injured for our entertainment. Again, I'm not being worldly philosophical here (that would be hard), but you would think this sort of injury, fight-related or not, would not happen in this day and age. But it does, and we hope the ramifications aren't too deadly or worrying. We still have a while to go to solve that problem.

Perhaps the one most absurd thing from all this? My re-evaluation of Michael Cole. Many people have already said this but I feel I should also add to this; the professional/emotional way he handled this was absolutely phenomenal. From trying to take over commentating duties when Lawler was first afflicted, to trying to contain his crying when the worst hit, to breaking character to relate the first news and show his true feelings about his broadcast partner rather than just kayfabe it, his few updates on his condition, his broadcast silence while still remaining at the broadcast booth watching the proceedings and obviously being so racked with emotions (there's the one photo of him with his head in his hands, obviously completely distraught at what transpired), to doing his level-headed best in such an awful situation (remember he was a war correspondent, he should have been in worse than this but it so deeply shook him; yet he still worked through), pulling through and staying and doing his duty in his silent vigil...

There are few words I can use to describe my absolute respect I have for Sean Coulthard right now. He handled this extremely well despite the circumstances. People may still be divided over his Cole character; hell, the 2011 Gooker was all about the awful stuff he was involved in, including his feud with Lawler, and they may still like or hate him and they may have to change how they perceive him after this. (I myself am still not sure if I could ever be a Cole Miner.) But I've always had a respect for Mr. Coulthard, and that has increased from seeing how he did here, and the showing of his true friendship with Lawler. It would probably be hard for him to remain a heel for the time being (Lord knows WWE may still try), especially if he can continue with Lawler or not, but there's no denying he easily was the best man out there on that fateful night. If somehow he is reading this (and why should he?), sir, I tip my hats off to you.

As for Lawler? Although I also am on the fence about his commentating and if it changes now after this, I also deeply respect the man behind the gimmick and all that he's done over the years, and like many I also hoped that this will not be his last ring-related appearance. It again will probably be hard for me to hate his character now, so when he does recover it would be something to see how WWE would handle this. I would hope he gets better quickly and in tip top shape soon; even though it may not be the best commentary in the world, it would sorely be missing without it.

After I returned from the Bell I prayed. (I'm not much of a religious man, but I can't deny the power prayer has on a person's soul.) I prayed for Lawler to get well soon, of course. I prayed for him to make a full recovery as soon as he can, to be forgiven for whatever wrongs he may have done, and that he becomes a better man out of this. I didn't ask for him to become all religious though (where would the fun be in that?) but that he comes out of this stronger than he was, and still lives a long life without having another major situation like that one, and passes on doing what he does best.

I also prayed for Mr. Coulthard. I asked God to bless and forgive him due to the good work he did and the professionalism he maintained, and to hope he never goes through that sort of torture again. I also prayed for his success in general, not just with WWE but with his life as a whole. Strange, I know, but I felt it was fitting for the man.

I then prayed for myself. I asked for forgiveness and the hope that I will not see myself or anyone I know suffer the same situation or sickness, and I prayed to get through this still as myself, albeit also stronger for it too.

Does the Lawler attack change how I enjoy wrestling? It's too early to say. I would hope not, especially seeing how it turns out in the long haul. It would be a shame if so, because I actually do like the industry. I hope to see it succeed and be better than it is, be more accepted than it is, be more healthier than it is. I don't want to see ring legends get hurt and pass on without a proper send off, and I don't want to get to the point where I feel guilty following because I don't know if someone will wrestle their last match or not due to injury and hurt. Then it would truly be an absurd thing to do with myself.

I hope it doesn't come to such a thing, and I pray that it doesn't. I hope that you will too, reader.

PB

WCR Video: RD and Blade watch a Loverboy music video

From Wrestlecrap Radio episode #152. RD and Blade watch and do commentary on Loverboy music video, "Hot Girls In Love", on WCR.


WCR Interactive (2009): RD and Blade watch a Loverboy music video (by R.V.M Kai)

Angry Jim's Mailbag #4: Boomer Sooner Crooner Hour (September 7, 2012)

(Disclaimer: This was obviously not written by WWE's Jim Ross & is not intended as an insult to him (so please don't sue us). "Angry Jim" is a very loosely based parody based on the Wrestlecrap Radio character.)

(Disclaimer Disclaimer: The views expressed by Angry Jim are his own & do not reflect the opinions of Wrestlecrapradio.com.)

(Disclaimer Disclaimer Disclaimer: Despite being a rather...strange man, he's been rather helpful in self-censoring himself. Say what you want about him, but he IS still a WWE employee after all. At least, he is this week. - PB)

How ya doin' tonight nerds!

I've waited weeks for that damn Honky Tonk Mailman to deliver Sir Alec's erotic Fan-fiction and Kama Sutra books, and they only just arrived today! So earlier tonight I convinced my wife (it's around the four year Anniversary since she last **** me!) to try some of the "moves"! First, I got her in the mood by reading her a story, in my sexy southern voice, about Sunny being ****ed by a Gorilla! Then we were just about to try this position, that I haven't done in years, called "Missionary"...and the only thing that got ****ed tonight was my damn back!! So I left the room to get some aspirin, and by the time I returned, she had fallen asleep! I also found that the Fan-fiction book was opened on a story about Johnny Age having a Talent Relations orgy!! F***!!!

So tonight I'm now stuck answering your dumb questions!



Kyle Crow asks: I'm gonna start a petition to get you unbanned from Blade Braxton's new show! I'm just trying to get you some work, maybe even laid!!!

Rip up that petition! I told you nerds before that I don't want to be on that c***s***er's show anyway! Plus I don't need your help getting work; I have my BBQ and Gardening business, announce NXT, and I also have this mailbag blog if I need to vent! And I bet that lazy a** b*****d's show will never even see the light of day, so who gives a ****!

And don't rub it in about me not getting laid you son of a *****!




Greg Diener asks: DAMNIT JIM! I hope you are happy by this news!

Why would I be happy that "Mr Penis" got injured!? Marc Summers is the only guy called "Mark" I actually like...wait no...f*** Marc Summers! That ****head never mentioned my BBQ sauce on his Food Network show! But he loved that K.C. Masterpiece s**t; which tastes like that green slime from that stupid kid's show he used to host! I hope he's crippled!

(R.V.M Kai's edit: JIIIIM! We at wrestlecrapradio.com wish Marc Summers a speedy recovery.)

Lawrence P asks: You jelly because I have this...? Where is your JR's BBQ cologne? Maybe if you had it Dark Journey would fuck you!

Watch your ****ing language! For one, why would Dark Journey **** me if I was wearing that p*** water of yours?! Secondly, of course I'm jealous! Those c***s****rs at Pork Barrel stole my idea! Hollywood John and I have been working on a "real man's" cologne for months! It was supposed to be a mixture of liquid smoke extracted vigorously from my Pulled Pork! And they even stole my name and shortened it: I was going to call it "Fa Que Self"!



Chuck Estevez asks: Jim, did you see any of the "Anger Management" segments on RAW? You definitely need some Anger management yourself.

I don't watch that gawd awful WWE programming, even though I still work for them! But I did see it on that new invention called "YouTube"! When Kane was mentioning all the crazy **** he'd done, it gave me flashbacks of the time that sick sum b***h lit up my ass like a BBQ?!

And what do you ****ing mean I need ****ing Anger ****ing Management you ****ing ****! How's that for a ****ing "Anger Collage"?! **** Yourself!



Mike Check asks: Hello Jim! It’s ole Mike Check. Well my daughter right now decided to treat me to this fancy drinking place called "Starbucks". Now my daughter, who's one hell of a whiz-kid I have to say, told me that you can do this Internet thing here and send something called an email. I have to tell you it's quite odd doing the Internet across from the gas station near Route 66. Anyway, I came across your Mailbag column and it reminded me of the time we used to work together in the Norman, Oklahoma market. We D.J.’ed at a radio station known as K.N.C.R: "The Knocker"! I was going under the name, Jake Boomer, and you were a young rookie announcer called, Bill Sooner. Our show was the "Boomer Sooner Crooner Hour". One of the many...many...many...many...popular artists we used to play, other than Sinatra and Crosby, was Oklahoma born Jack Owens, aka "The Cruising Crooner". The reason he was called that was because of his reputation of "cruising" through the fine young fillies during his act...just like when we used to "cruise" through all those Jezebels and then break their hearts back before you met your wife. Speaking of breaking hearts, as R.J. and Brad used to say, one of Jack’s hits we used to play was "Heartbreaker". Thanks to my daughter, I’m sending it to you courtesy of The Mike Check Show on "The Whacker"!

Click Here For Song

P.S. I almost forgot, my daughter wants me to tell you to keep this email just between us.

After six ****ing hours, I kept falling asleep! I'm not  gonna read all that ****!

(R.V.M Kai's edit: Raging_Demons, you might want to read this?)

Lawrence P asks: What is more recent, The last time Bill Watts was Midsouth Champ or the last time your wife had sex with you? *&$% Yourself!

That's my line you son of a b***h!! Well seeing that my wife still hasn't even ****ed me tonight; the last time would have been around September 2008! So you do the Math smart***!

Now seeing that my wife is still asleep, looks like now I'll have to put that 1987 issue of "Leg Show" (that Honky also finally delivered) featuring Dark Journey  to good use! F*** YOURSELVES!

To view previous Mailbags go here. To send Angry Jim a REAL question or complaint (but not spam concerning penis enlargements...which Jim doesn't need apparently) you can Tweet him here.

RD in "Raiders Of The Lost (Mike) Check" (Part 1)

Why do I have to be the person to do this?

Raging_Demons here…unfortunately. When fellow staffer R.V.M.'s Kai recruited “Angry Jim” to the site to answer his mailbag it turned out to be a success here at the site.

Unfortunately it turned out too well.

Now our boss Premier Blah wants ALL of us to bring in WCR characters in to the site! With PB going to handle Trolla Corp, Clarence Mason going to his law practice & R.V.M.’s Kai already having “Angry Jim” (What? Brother can’t have two?!?) It leaves me with the unfortunate task of getting someone here on the site! COME ON! Can’t the guy who brings in the whores & the booze get a free pass around here?!? But NNNNOOO!!!!! Not only do I have to go out & bring one of them to the site but I’m bringing in Mike FREAKING Check out of all of them!

Now for those that haven’t heard about Mike Check well then thank God you are one of the lucky ones. But if you have heard of the man let me pose a brief recap of the man that is Mike Check.

Mike Check is a very old Radio DJ with over 25 years of radio experience that the Deal hired to be a TNA Correspondent, Mike Check left the show "dying" by lighting a cigar conveniently near a fireworks factory which at the time tied with Johnny 6 as the longest reigning TNA Correspondent ever. Well that was the story until Mike Check re-appeared at the “Wrestlecrap Radio Celebrity Roast” so he can try to gain royalties by appearing in the DVD.

Why did Mike Check fake his death? Well according to the man it was to increase the sales of his T-Shirts and Stickers that his daughter, who’s a hell of a whiz kid according to Mike Check, sent over to Wrestlecrap.com. Then if things weren’t weird enough we find out later that Mike Check was being hunted down for unpaid child support ranging up to $500,000 at least for not paying for over 30 kids that he has! Of course with that much unpaid child support Mike Check was sent to jail, which he admits to this day that he wasn’t accused for, with his one lone daughter, who is once again a hell of a whiz kid, supporting her dear old dad by whatever means possible. Months later it looks like Mike Check’s daughter set up a website for her dear old dad called “The Mike Check Show”.

So now you know the story of Mike Check but something really odd popped up with recently. Last time we had heard anything of Mike Check he was locked up in Folsom Prison which is located in Sacramento, California. Recently, Mike Check made an appearance at the Series Finale of Wrestlecrap Radio which was recorded in Indianapolis, Indiana.

Here’s the question; how the hell was Mike Check able to leave prison and travel at least 2000 miles?!? You'd think someone that has escaped prison and traveled that far would raise a few eyebrows? Or what if Mike Check was able to leave prison a free man? If that’s the reason then how was he able to clear all of his charges which would include paying all of that overdue child support?

I wish I can get any of these questions answered but unfortunately I can’t. After his WCR Series Finale Mike Check just somehow disappeared from the face of the Earth and nobody has seen nor heard from the man since with the exception of the occasional post on his website. Nobody even known what Mike Check’s “whiz kid” of a daughter’s name is or what she looks like with the only description of her is that she’s basically a giant whore of a woman. So what am I supposed to do if I can’t find the man? Unfortunately I have to find him myself! Unfortunately!

I first started in my search for Mike Check by going to the men that most recently knew him; RD Reynolds & Blade Braxton! They did not respond to my questions about where Mike Check is and in all honestly I really don’t blame them! I called Folsom and they couldn’t give me a clear answer on how Mike Check got out of prison but all they can tell me is that he’s no longer there. With Mike Check no longer in prison I really had no clue in where the man is at and I had no idea in how to find him. So it looks like I won’t be able to find Mike Check so Hooray! Yeah I wish I was that lucky. PB says that I HAVE to find Mike Check or else he’s going to feed me to Zombie Nathaniel who is locked up right now in Trolla’s Research and Development. Damn it! I got to find Mike Check! Damn it all to bloody hell!

My first attempt at finding Mike Check is by re-listening to all the episodes he appeared in “Wrestlecrap Radio”. After listening to those episodes I would rather have been fed to Zombie Nathaniel than to listen to any more episodes featuring Mike Check but they didn’t provide any clues at all since he was literally all over the place country wise. I try to find anything that would mention any hints to Mike Check’s other kids that may be looking for him since they are his dad or maybe the parents to those kids are looking for the man to get the long lost child support that Mike Check owes. That was a giant can of worms that I accidentally opened! Too many kids looking for their Mike Check daddy and too many abandoned mothers looking for their money! The line of people wanting Mike Check is almost the equivalent of a nerd herd waiting for “Diablo 3” to be released! After hours of convincing all of them that I was looking for Mike Check as well they left me alone. The unfortunate hunt continues.

With no possible leads I somewhat gave up and headed to my home away from home which is my local strip club. I was there not only to relax but trying to bring some girls home since PB ordered for 2 blondes, a brunette, and a redhead. [The usual.] One of my “Stripper Friends” (a stripper that happens to be a friend of mine that I have no physical attachment to at all) came up to me and told me this really weird story. Apparently she met a blonde with really big boobs acting all funny; my friend was telling me she was doing “extras” in the VIP room because she can “smell it” (don’t make me go there) on her. The story continues that “this blonde” was going on and on about her dad wanting to team up with Rick Dees (a local Southern California DJ Legend) to be on KIIS FM’s morning show so he and Rick Dees can quit the station so they can form their own radio station “KBRO” The Burro and that it will “Play Well In The Market”! Well this “blonde’s” dad is so out of date since Rick Dees is no longer there and was replaced by Ryan Seacrest and…

Wait a damn minute! “Plays well in your market!?!?” NO WAY! I mean…NO WAY! Could this big faked boobed blonde be Mike Check’s daughter?!? I mean, seeing a blond with big, fake boobs in a strip club is about as common as a fish in an aquarium but the way this story turns out? It can’t be? Can it? I asked my friend if this blonde was a “hell of a whiz kid” and she did mention that one of the girls backstage had a problem with her smart phone and the blonde fixed it in no time! JACKPOT! I asked my friend if I can speak to her but unfortunately she didn’t come into work today because she kept telling people that she had to go to Sacramento to do a favor. Sacramento?!? Oh this is getting better and better! Folsom Prison is in Sacramento! But why is Mike Check’s daughter heading BACK to Sacramento if her dad is no longer in prison? This is getting very interesting here...

It looks like there are more questions there are answers here and unless I don’t want to get into trouble I have to go on a little field trip to my state’s great capital.

That’s right Raging_Demons is taking a TRIP…to Sacramento!


(To Be Continued)