Episode 39: Thank Ya: August 7, 2015

R.I.P to one of WCR's favorite people: Roddy Piper (1954-2015)

54 minutes

RD called Blade 'excellent' for the first time in their 13 year friendship.

RD wonders how the audio quality of their progrems have fallen compared to the 'golden age' of 2008. Blade responds by temporarily disconnecting.

WWE once wanted to make Brock Lesnar Popeye's brother if you know what I mean.

Matt Hardy & Reby Sky have given birth. (:12) This causes Blade to crack up for some reason. The kid's VHS/Kryptonian name (Max-El) reminds RD of the good old days of cassette tapes including good old BASF. RD uses his phone. Rosa Mendes is pregnant "with child" which is better than being pregnant "with chestburster". This causes Blade to crack up for some reason.

Sad News: The Deever is retiring (while also engaged). (:20) The two remember all the Diva Search 'candidates' that have come and gone.

Tammy skipped a court hearing. (:26) RD wants her to go to jail so that she (and her segment) appear less on the progrem.

The two shill their Archives some more by remembering all the strange impressions of Dennis Stamp and Terry Funk from many years ago. Which you can read about more on this very site, if I can take my turn to shill [...And if I could take my turn to shill; go to The Mike Check Show for all your "non-canon" musical adventures involving ole Mike and his big-boobed/whiz-kid daughter -R.V.M Kai]. Assuming the URL is still the same. Again.

:33 RD: "Why do all the new segments have horrible music?"

Apparently your "frequent" Dan Spivey (at war) update now has its own music. Did you know he will be turning 63 in October?

Blade does his (bad) David Lee Roth impression about lamps. I figure all he got he had to steal. (:37)

:38 WWE had to change a group's name because it was already taken by a porn corporation. Which is STILL a better place to work at than the top wrestling company in the world.

The duo reminisce about the greatness of Roddy Piper as he appeared on their progrem. Our condolences to all of his close and loved ones; may he rest in peace.  (:41 - end)

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• The RD & Blade Show Sponsors: 4. Ella Fitzgerald, Memorex, WrestleCrap.com, BASF
• SPEAKING OFs: 1. Memories
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 5. BASF, B-A-S-F, Maxel, Memorex, anything else

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 1. “Rowdy” Roddy Piper 

 

• F-Bombs: 1. Flashback Blade

 

• Blade Time Outs: 3 (1 Real Quick)
• Entertain the People: 1
  

 

• Erik Majorwitz’s Hindsight Haiku: The long forgotten Waylon Mercy skirmish:
  Spivey’s War segment
  Lasted one whole week; at least
  It had theme music!

 

Episode 38: The War Of Dan Spivey: July 27, 2015

This episode summarized using "onomatopoeia":

BANG!  Ewwwwwwww!  Whooo!  Ah gyuk gyuk gyuk gyuk!

75 minutes

((( Recorded in echoing fidelity in RD's kitchen )))

RD is watching a (Leaping) Lanny Poffo match for some reason. 

Blade once traded some tapes. He regales the 12 Listeners about how he chased around a kid at school while appreciating John Hughes movies. 

:16 Blade: "Hopefully there's not a listener out there saying 'Ahhh those guys are just bringing back Trip to the Grocery rubababababa.'"

Blade's Cheddar Ranch Doritos are an enigma in taste. RD's Seadog Old Style Root Beer tastes better. He floats the idea of marketing Old Detroit Tap Water in glass bottles. 

RD did another video podcast with Vince Russo who called him attractive. Sadly Popeye wasn't on that show. Ah gyuk gyuk gyuk gyuk. 

The Co-Fruitcakes shill about how each radio progrem only costs 7 cents. They're literally a steal for a podcast that's free to download in the first place. From this very website in fact. Assuming the URL is not taken again. (:28)

:30 Tammy fell. Again. Blade does his Sunny impression. 

Tammy also doesn't like the NXT hopefuls due to them taking the spotlight from her or something. RD actually agrees with her for once, thinking that one of them looks like a goon Popeye fought. Sadly he doesn't call in to tell about how he blew that guy...down. Ah gyuk gyuk gyuk gyuk. 

Blade thinks former Diva Kaitlyn should return in a transgender gimmick as Bruce on the grounds that Vince might do such a thing. I don't know, that sounds far too modern for him. 

Sad News: the guy who bought their Good Friends cereal box sold it off for $6.

:42 More old bad impressions crack Blade up. Diamond Dallas Page remarried to another brunette. Blade remembers messaging him on MySpace. RD looks up a random movie of DDP's that took like 20 years or something to complete.  

Also Andre the Giant had some funny looking pants. 

"Sad" News: the Deever got engaged, leaving Blade still forever single. (:52)

Virgil has a GoFundMe for some reason because he needs to get laid for some reason. (:56) As of this writing it's gone up to $350, assuming the pledges are all authentic. No, I'm not going to link it here. Go look it up yourself.

:60 RD fondly remembers watching old Dan Spivey matches. The man is currently in a 'personal' battle with some other random wrestlers over something or other, as revealed on his social media postings. Sadly Satan does not call in to read them so RD has to do so instead.

:70 The Hulk said something stupid as is his custom, but in this case of such magnitude that WWE removed him and made him persona non grata faster than you can say 'Chris Benoit'. But then how now can he support Brooke selling "beach records", Nick crashing cars, and Linda having sex with a younger man? Maybe he can go back to TNA oh wait. 

To 'honor' the kayfave heel turn the duo play some smooth jazz from Blade's "cousin" Anthony Braxton. 

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• The RD & Blade Show Sponsors: 2. Skyline Drive In, Skycade  
• URLs not taken: 2. OldDetroitTapWater.com, DanSpiveysNudistBeach.com
• SPEAKING OFs: 8. Old school video games, nostalgia, nostalgia(2), things, divas, people who might be drinking PBR and celebrating, Superman, people that aren’t nice

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 2. Mean Gene, Gorilla Monsoon

 

• Blade Time Outs: 7 (1 Real Quick)
• Blade Burps: 2
  
• RD Time Outs: 2 (1 Real Quick)
  
• Entertain the People: 1
  

 

• Erik Majorwitz’s Hindsight Haiku: I’m gonna kill it with...nostalgia!
  What is nostalgia?
  Vince uses it against us
  to sell ICOPRO!

 

117 One Diva a Time: August 29, 2008

One Day At A Time
"worst wrestlecrap ever" (:57)
(79 minutes)

Induction: Will Sasso vs. Bret Hart on WCW. It Came from Youtube: Blade just found out that Brother Midnight fell on hard times at the beginning of 2007. The next WCRadio is scheduled for September 12.

The theme song to One Day at a Time opens the show. (Forgotten Sin has posted this commentary on youtube. Check the sidebar for more.) (B.B.M. had made a gif of Mackenzie Phillips dancing. 1.4 MB) "In this week's new induction, Triple Kelly theorized perhaps that Bruno Sammartino and Schneider should've had a WWF title match in 1977" (:04). RD says the 12 listeners have plenty of free time. I, for one, save nearly five hours a week by skipping through the mediocre parts of WWE programs.

Blade's in a band now, because the best time to start a band with a "metal-Misfits feel to it" is when you're thirty-three (:07). RD wants to call it "Blade Braxton and the Hobo Six." WC Fantasy Football is beginning. It has been 18 years since Blade's favorite gimmick began, so he has reposted the Black Scorpion bunch as the Jobber of the Week (:11). There's still no bignippledvampire.com (:12), despite the fact that Google charges only $10 for domains. Blade dates a Diva (:16).

RD's Trip to the Grocery: RD finds pizza Pringles Stix in the Salty Snack aisle (:21). Blade's obsession of Taco Tico brings the show to a halt.

Obscure Wrestling News: RD says, "Never thought I'd be happy talking about wrestling news" (:24). 4-year old Blade liked getting erections for Sigourney Weaver. RD finds the themes to Maude and Alice (:28). "Wrestler's Rescue is holding TWO, separate events to help raise monies to support the health care needs of Retired Professional Wrestlers due to a career choice in wrestling." Guest-stars include some of The Bad News Bears (:33). Terri Runnels has a food session (:40). RD dates a diva (:45).

Statement of the Week from Double J: In May 2007, someone posted RD Reynolds shoots on Jared from Subway, from the February 23, 2007 show (:50). Jonathan Coachman now works for ESPN. Blade dates a diva (:53). TNA Peter Gazer flakes (:59). I like this gimmick better than him actually showing up. RD dates a deever (:63). Misses Deal gets Jim Ross on the line to talk about his BBQ Sauce (:65).

Blade says, "that overly-critical guy at wrestlecrap.blogspot.com ... is going to tear this thing a new asshole" (:69). RD and Blade compare the WWE Universe to the Masters of the Universe (:71).

Seventeen Syllables to Get Twelve Listeners Off:
Mick's in TNA.
Wow, golly. His debut ra-
tings? Still 1.O.

104 A Kick in the Taint: May 16, 2008

Karaoke, Cena + Mickie
(74 minutes)

Blade started a vanity project at the Karaoke myspace page. He's ranked high because nobody knows about the karaoke myspace page yet.

Former WWE writer Seth Mates will be on in a few weeks. Blade's first question to him will be: "Have you mounted a cripple?"

In a thousand years, this will NOT be worth something.

RD's Trip to the Grocery after an 11 week absence: Blade tastes a Snickers Adventure Bar which promotes the new Indiana Jones movie with the power of coconut. They certify it as an adventurous kick right in the taint. (:19 - :29).

Obscure Wrestling News: Blade sings Neil Diamond songs and Rodney Mack wants to be an MMA fighter (:34). His first opponent is named "Broadway Joe Namath". RD wants him to enter the ring with the Drinking music. The Iron Sheik will be roasted, so Blade wonders if he can audition for it with Stubby, his ventriloquist dummy (:39). Hulk Hogan got in trouble for not removing his bandanna in court. RD says he wore a do-rag for the first time (:41), which is surprising for a balding man.

MovieTrolla: Shelly Martinez stars in The Porn Shoot Massacre (:44). Horsetrolla: Mickie James claims she's an athlete just like the horse that was euthanized at this year's Kentucky Derby (:53).

Question of the Week from Ed Salo: Kitty Dukakis gets raped for the second week in a row (:58).

The Divas are getting repetitive. (:62) The Deever in particular derives her strength from her hair like Samson. Trevor Murdock got his singing comeuppance by getting punched in the face. (:64) RD guested on Figure Four Daily and was asked to sing Mondo from the Muscle Rock Madness VHS tape. (:66)

Seventeen Miserable, Sad Syllables to Discuss This Week's Raw:
Mickie and Cena--
John better keep his hands off
or die a slow death.

RD: Do me King Vitamin! Do me deep!

102 Cinco de Captain Crunch: May 2, 2008

Stinko de Mayo, Live from Carl's Jr
(105 minutes)

RD has a touch of bronchitis, so Blade will be talking more than usual. This is despite him being too drunk to remember to be interviewed recently. Psicosis was deported for having invalid paperwork (:12).

Blade's Trip to the Grocery: Johnny Six's death means there's time for this segment to 'return' (:14), although this show is 25 minutes longer than last week's. Boo Berry is back at Blade's local supermarket. Blade dislikes Starosaurus, the mascot of some sort of generic Lucky Charms.

Obscure Wrestling News Good Times: Robecca DiPietro made a potato chip commercial contest entry, which she'll sleep with you for if you vote for it. (:23) Somehow this fact eats up sixteen minutes of the show.

Horsetrolla: Mickie James is in a music video alongside the Deever. Seven more minutes expire because RD is speechless. Sad News: Balls Mahoney was future endeavored. (:46)

I don't want to know what they
mean exactly by 'hand-scooped'...

Question Trip of the Week: Frank from L.A. is called. He tries out the Cap 'n Crunch Milkshake at a Carl's Jr (:54 - :71).

The former Big Nippled Vampire Shelly Martinez's name wasn't Spanish enough for TNA, so she's now called Salinas. (:76) Her Myspace page proclaims, "I LOVE boys with long hair and I have an eye fetish. I love them there eyes!!"

RD wasn't satisfied with Frank's eighteen-minute Cap 'n Crunch Milkshake segment and gets Josh Van Meiter to eat it. (He strangely sounds like Lee Marshall.) He runs into Weird Al as Rambo in his attempt. (:81 - :87)

More usual nonsense fills the last fifteen minutes. Hulk Hogan gets frisky with his daughter. Warrior wants to fight Vince at Wrestlemania. He too has a Myspace page. Trevor Murdock is stealing their gimmick of singing. Blade is 'inspired' to sing on his own Myspace page.

Seventeen Syllables on My New Favorite Wrestling Personality, Mike Adamle:
Adamle walked out.
Know what? That's a wonderful
fucking idea.

090 2 Hosts and a Johnny: January 11, 2008

2 Hosts and a Johnny
(79 minutes)

Something about Colin Delaney.

One of the crickets is dead, or has been for a while. Johnny 6: "I. Like. Porn." Shockingly, those two are not related.

RD and Blade will hold a telethon-party to celebrate their 100th show with John Thomas manning one of their phones. (:13)

Blade wants to know who is the mystery guy on the Book of Lists? RD wastes time telling us what we already know. He then compares the show to 3 Men and a Baby. (:18) Johnny 6 is interested.

RD can't report on his Trip to the Grocery because he doesn't go to the grocery anymore. (:21) Neither can Blade, who once had a Simon LeBon shirt. So instead we have Blade's Trip to the Gas Station (:23): Blade was dragging a gas nozzle and hose for fifteen miles. His excited tone of voice about the trip reminds RD of Rambo Greg Gagne.

Obscure Wrestling News (:29): Joanie Laurer and Brooke Hogan could appear on Dancing with the Stars, in an attempt to recapture lightning ala Stacy Keibler. That assumes they could be considered 'stars' like her though, even in the most obscurest of terms. Virgil is touring with World of Wheels. RD says WrestleCrap will have a wrestling show, in which Blade will face Nicole Bass.

Question of the Week from ThatGuyTheSam08 (:38): more time is spent on a lesson on grammar than the actual question.

Maria is in Playboy. Xtreme Xpose's recent Dance Off reminds RD of an Adams Family-style trainwreck.

Johnny 6: "I. Saw. Big. Nippled. Vampire." (:42)

Sad News: Blade missed meeting the Deever. (:47) Lena Yada. (:55) RD didn't like Raw's Lingerie Pillow Fight. Ashley Massaro wore a tail. (:62) Raw Roulette. Stevie Richards needs five throat surgeries. (:66) Blade wants to own a trailer park. (:68)

UWF has returned.

Seventeen Syllables:
U Dubya F's back.
That's not just super.
That's super-fuckin'-duper.

089 Easy for a Listener to resist: January 4, 2008

Hooray For "Khali" Claus!

Easy for a Listener to resist
(78 minutes)

It's a new year. Time for weight-loss resolutions and fresh starts and Blade's "Big Announcement", which he announces that he cannot announce until a date that has yet to be announced. (:13) Johnny 6 doesn't care, he's still Blade's enemy: "Fuck. You. Braxton. ... I. Will. Kick. Your. Ass." he threatens. Big Daddy V in HD. Hurray for Khali Claus. (:19)

The WrestleCrap Book of Lists has hit #1 in wrestling books on Amazon. On March 31, 2008, it was #4, The Death of WCW was #52, and WrestleCrap was #82. However, THE DUSTY RHODES BOOK WAS #37. [On April 4, 2009, the Book of Lists was #5, Death of WCW was #19, WC was #57, Dusty was #87, and the overall rank for the Book of Lists was #41,723. Nobody ever said wrestling fans can read. --Iggy]

RD asks Blade what celebrity he resembles. Bill Cosby-ness.

Obscure Wrestling News (:25): The Mountie got married in a wrestling ring. Torrie Wilson has opened a clothing store, assuming her site actually works. (:30) Lacey Von Erich's daughter was released from a WWE developmental contract. (:35) The Lions suck. Joanie Laurer is now stuck on Celebrity Rehab. Christy Hemme has a new band: the world's nerdiest bowling team. (:41)

For no particular reason RD wants to listen to their first episode again. He barely lasts a minute before he can take no more and cuts it off. (:48)

Question of the Week from Primetime (:51): Could New Jack work as a wrestling analyst? RD wants him to talk about the Deever and her blackface figure.

After WSX folded, RD was ready to walk away from wrestling. But now, there's WWE 24/7. Blade and RD discuss the first Prime Time Wrestling show, from 1985. (:56)

RD announces the 'existence' of The Crappy Awards. They are scheduled to be handed out, on February 1.

The WWE Gooker nominees are discussed: (:63) Hornswoggle as Vince's son, Rosie vs. Donald (where the fans chanted "TNA" during the match), ECW Champion Vince McMahon, The Diva Search (again), and John Cena vs. Kevin Federline

Johnny 6 'apologizes' to Blade; "I. Am Sorry. Too. Bitch," before he gives the TNA nominees: Eric. Young. Versus. Robert. Roode., Pac. Man. Jones., Stomper. The. Kangaroo., Black. Reign., and T. N. A. Blindfold. Steel. Cage. Match.

Seventeen Syllables We Call The Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
It is Gooker time.
Lots of shitty nominees.
No Dubya S X.

088 Audio Snowball Christmas: December 21, 2007

"This...Place...Is...A...Pit"

Audio Snowball Christmas
(85 minutes)

This is an audio snowball fight. RD loves the pre-Xmas shows best. Clips of the WrestleCrap Choir singing Jingle Bells are interspersed in this show, one of them being Chris Engler, now of the Trolla Corporation. (:15)

Blade returned to hitting the bottle. Sad News: the Lions didn't make the playoffs. (:20) [They'll get 'em until next season! --Iggy] He has another "Big Announcement" for next time.

Blade has a heart-warming story about he and Don flipping off a girl during the Xmas season. (:26)

Obscure Wrestling News (:28): a Playboy Diva poll is shockingly led by Chyna and Ashley Massaro. Damien Demento has been shooting on Vince McMahon and people who call him a jobber. (:33) The Deever will be at the Big Boy Toy Show, which is not the title of a PPV.

Piper has Xmas clips about Santy Claus. (:39) Horsetrolla (:41): Bobtail was the horse's name in Jingle Bells. Mickie James went to the WWE events in Iraq. Blade is worried about wrestlers' helicopters being shot down while bad Creed songs are played. I think that since Vietnam was tragedy, the Iraq War is comedy.

The WrestleCrap Choir has the giggles and is drunk. (:45)

Question of the Week (:51): Give RD a prize/bribe to read your question. RD reads from the Dusty Rhodes book to further prove its existence. Travie Yak (2) wants WrestleCrap audio-books. More Piper clips.

Xmas Gift Exchange (:59): Blade received from C. Thomas Howell a rather...transposed gift. Deever's picture is ghostly white and her action figure is black. Perhaps she's the next Soul Man? He also got a Billy Sims Lions jersey. RD received a Brother Midnight T-Shirt (without pants of course) and a Potty Time bear.

Trolla also sent RD the TrollaTron 5200 AKA Johnny 6. (:69) His first words: "This. Place. Is. A. Pit." Blade suggests Johnny be the TNA correspondent. "T. N. A. Sucks," he replies, but he does like porn, so they balance out.

Barking Dogs.

Holiday Haiku That's a Little Bit Naughty and a Little Bit Nice:
WrestleCrap Christmas.
What would make the yuletide gay?
[Michael] Cole in your stocking.

084 Kung Fu Jesus: November 16, 2007

Pictured: Mickie "Lifting The Tail"

Not Pictured: Blade

Kung Fu Jesus
(90 minutes)

Blade offended a thirteen-year-old. Chris Engler, now suddenly of the Trolla Corporation, sent Blade a ShirtTrolla for his TV appearance.

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:22): "Humane" mouse trap. The Dusty Rhodes book has a Myspace page. RD swears.

Faxtrolla: Trolla products stop the awkward silence. (:31) New Jack started a new wrestling promotion, in Cincinnati, and its first event is at the Intense Arena. Random singing ensues. Gorgeous George dances on the pole at Gorgeous Frankenstein gigs. Carmen Electra sued the Naked Women's Wrestling League for the $300,000 they have yet to pay her. That should have been a warning sign right there: being offered that much as a non-wrestling celebrity by a wrestling promotion which is not just not WWE, but instead named "Naked Women's Wrestling League". [Also why is it not inducted or featured yet? - Future PB] (:39) Joanie Laurer changed her legal name to Chyna Doll. (:43) This week's It Came from Youtube is the Ultimate Warrior at a Thanksgiving Parade. (SPEAKING OF odd legal names.) RD has a Mii. (:46) A game based on Dancing with the Stars for the Wii will include Stacy Keibler. She may be obscure, but she looks far better than any Diva on the active roster.

Question of the Week (:53): The Co-Hosts get 'hundreds' of questions, and yet only read those from the same handful of people. This one's from Citizen Raider, who likes Carlito's hair. Sadly it may not be on TV for long, as he may be on his way out. Blade says Sable's Playboy pubic hair was photoshopped. Preemptive Sad News: The Deever may be fired. (:58) The producer of WSX will be on WCR in two weeks.

TNA will hold a Turkey Bowl. (:70) RD has eaten at Restaurant. Belt it as a mini. What If Jesus Knew Kung Fu? (:79) A Black Friday Sale is upcoming for the site. Cena says he was 'misquoted'.

Seventeen Freakin Syllables:
Save us, 6 2 2.
What is Chris gonna do? Mur-
der all creative?

076 Musical Sad Balls: September 21, 2007

Musical Sad Balls
(89 minutes)

RD and Blade wonder what to do with Vince's new son Hornswaggle.

Young Blade once put shoe polish in his hair to try and look like Daryl Hall. He repeats this from last time since no one listened to it the first time.

New temporary sponsor: WCWArulz.com. Come see them at the Dream Reunion Show at Kokomo!

RD's Trip to Disney World II (:15): RD ate at all the world restaurants in Epcot. Blade's Trip to Wal-Mart: A check-out lady is a mark. Blade is highly aroused. (:30)

Obscure Wrestling Sad News (:35): Check-out lady sources have told Blade that Ashley Massaro is to appear on Survivor. Rickey Morton is in jail once again for failure to pay child support. A rap about Ric Flair by a former Detroit Lion includes the requisite Wooooing. (:42) Kamala topped his rocking chair song with a song about molestation. (:44) Myspace is THE place to receive random music invites for an 'all-ages show' by random bots.

Question of the Week (:55): Blade: "We really should do a show where we try to be professional." The Ravishing One gets Rick Rude's theme song. Quote the lyrics: "his body's chiseled, abs all in a row / you'd think he was sculpted by Mike Angelo." 

 

Clocktrolla: 10083 days. (:62) Candice beat the Glamazon.

Abe Lincoln is an avid time-traveller. (:67) Sad Balls. (:70) Raw made Blade hit the bottle because Phoebe Cates got cut. (:69) The Diva Search is so bad now that its contestants all look like girls that are already Divas and it's only available on the Internet. HHH came back and destroyed like Godzilla.

Seventeen Unstoppable, Deadly, and Lethal Syllables:
Unstoppable Trips.
Call him the UnderHunter,
King of Burials.

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• The Horn to my Swoggle, Mr. Blade Braxton
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Global Internet, WCWA
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 4. Midgets jumping on couches, Lions, careers unfolding and women we're proud of, weddings
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
• Outdated references: 3. Perfect Strangers, Leave It To Beaver, Phoebe Cates
• I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.

 

• F-Bombs: 1. Blade

 

• Krankor Laughs: 3
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 2
• Weird Al Laughs: 2
• Cricket Chirps: 5
  
• WrestleCrap Gongs: 2
• ClockTrolla Chimes: 1
• Crüe Cues: 2
• GGG Bombs: 1
  

 

• Trish Stratus References: 2
• Ashley Massaro References: 2
  

• Question of the Week from: The Ravishing One
• My name is The Ravishing One, you know, like Rick Rude except even more ravishing. My question is this: would the Executioner, played by Buddy Rose, or the Executioner, played by Teddy Gordy, have been more successful and perhaps gone on to big money programs, had his entrance song be Hangman by Beat Happening? Please listen to the attached file and let me know your thoughts on the matter. I look forward to hearing them, just don't try to pawn off the Dusty Rhodes book on me. I don't know if that song would have really helped anyone.
  

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
  Unstoppable Trips.
  Call him the UnderHunter,
  King of Burials.

 

056 Robotic Robecca Released: March 23, 2007

Robotic Robecca Released
(79 minutes)

RD met his co-author of The Death of WCW, Bryan Alvarez, for the first time at an indy show. A man in a monkey suit was directing parking lot traffic. He later was involved in a match as The Super Amazing Monkey. Why that guy hasn't been signed to TNA yet I do not know.

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:21): RD saw non-refrigerated organic milk in the cereal aisle, which got on his nerves. Reanimated via CGI Orville Redenbacher is creepy.

Co-Host Contest Week 6: Eric doesn't know. (:32) Soul thinks Haku figures are glorified bars of soap. (:38) Trash has written all their questions up till now. A likely story. 4 of 11.

Mail Bag (:47): Tony Christ wants the Mighty Seamen. RD flubs a laugh but doesn't edit it out. Jimmy K brings about RD's giving a physics lesson. (:49)

Obscure Wrestling News (:52): The Iron Sheik was robbed of his Wal-Mart earnings by a 'nephew' and a 'drug dealing driver'. Lita and her band are recording an album. (:57) New Godwins. Blade can't spell. (:62) Sad News: Robecca DiPietro was fired. (:63)

This Week's Top Wrestling News Story is that Bobby "Lindsay" Lashley broke the Masterlock. (:66) Kelly Kelly danced with the Deever and "Anonymous Brooke" to Pour Some Sugar on Me. (:69) WrestleMania: Kane vs Khali in a meathook match.

Seventeen Syllables Dedicated to the Battle of the Billionaires:
Billionaire Battle.
I'd pay one billion dollars
to make this shit stop.

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• The pissed to my off, Mr. Blade Braxton
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Global Internet, Fight Sports Midwest
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 14. Joy and happiness in my innards, your innards, things being awesome, sounds we like, things, things that are cold (5), violating in the corn hole (2), Verne Gagne masterbating, having your corn hole violated
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
• Outdated references: 0.
• I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.

• Krankor Laughs: 3
• Weird Al Laughs: 2 
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 2.5
  
• WrestleCrap Gongs: 4
• Cricket Chirps: 3
  

 

• Ashley Massaro References:  4
• Trish Stratus References:  1

 

• Mailbag
• Tony Christ: Do you think Ricky Steamboat, Tugboat, and Captain Mike Rotundo/Rotunda could have formed a stable called The Fighting Seamen? RJ Fletcher: Flubbed Yes.
  
• Jimmy K: Hi guys. I have two questions for you this week, one for RD and one for Blade. First off, and this question has been bugging me for years, RD, you know I was wondering. Like, if you were traveling through outer space and you're going real fast like the speed of light, and all of a sudden you start screaming, you think your brain would blow up? Of course my brain will not blow up. And secondly to Blade, I called a few colleges and business schools to see if they had any Ladder Falling 101 classes. None of them had any professors with degrees in that field so I'm wondering: how DO you learn to fall off a 20 foot ladder? I don't know.
  

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
  Billionaire Battle.
  I'd pay one billion dollars
  to make this shit stop.
  

037 Hello Titty: August 18, 2006

Hello Titty
A train-wreck of a show.
(63 minutes)

Todd Grisham didn't always have a face.

RD and Blade watch a Diva Search Special in real time. This apparently involves the following:

• Really bad sound quality.
• Weird Al shouting that you so stupid.
• Diamond Dan's hotline at 317 335 HOTT. Call him instead.
• RD not realizing until too late that not everyone listening to the show actually has a ready recording of the special on hand.
• A trailer for The Marine. See what they say about it here rather than listening to the show. [Hell, the movie is easier to witness than this.]
• RD: "I think more people will hate this show than any other show we've ever done."

I'm not listening to this shit.

As of this writing we're still waiting on someone to make a useful commentary video of this particular episode. Course, though, you'd have more luck waiting for Elvis to come back from the dead than waiting for that to happen. 
- Future PB

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• The tranny to my Carmella, Mr. Blade Brakes-town
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Global Internet, Diamond Dan Hot Line
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 13. Train wreck, a tran wreck, Burger King, cats, cat women, old dead women I would bang, black and white chicks, the Von Erichs, having a cock in your mouth, horrible, a legend returning (2), Ricky Morton
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
• Outdated references: 3. Donna Reed, Mary Tyler Moore, Learning the Ropes
• I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.
  

 

• F-Bombs: 2. Blade, Blade
  

 

• RD Time Outs:  1
• Krankor Laughs:  6
• Weird Al Laughs: 2
  
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  2

 

• Ashley Massaro References:  8
• Christy Hemme References:  1

 

• Mailbag: N/A
  

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: N/A
  

 

Running Commentary (You’re welcome)

• RD wishes Derek Burgan a successful recovery from hernia surgery (0:06)
• Todd Grisham replaced The Miz?  Addition by subtraction?  (0:08)
• RD ponders how he can watch the whole show. (0:14)
• RD pines for another Kloudi run. (0:16)
• RD predicts this will be thought of as the worst episode ever. (0:20)
• RD rags on Gilmore Girls (0:33)
• J.T. Titty has been eliminated and Blade is distraught at the news. (0:35)
• The Boys see The Marine trailer and try to predict the name of John Cena’s character. (0:37)
• Blade wants to hit the bottle.  (0:40)
• Whatever happened to Tyson Tomko? (0:46)
• HLA anyone? (0:54)
• Hot Ricky Morton talk. (0:56)
• The Deever wins! (1:01)
• The guys decide alcoholism is cool after watching this and Blade considers this on a Buster Douglas upset of Mike Tyson level. (1:02)
• RD wistfully points out that through the confetti, her mannish features disappear. (1:03)
• End Show. Thank God.

035 Real Angry: July 28, 2006

Real Angry
(54 minutes)

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:06): RD's favorite flavor of Life Savers has been replaced.

Obscure Wrestling News (:12): Vince has bought an indoor tennis facility for his mother's hometown, which the sources have no idea what state it is in. Chris Kanyon was dropping the puck at the Gay Games. Sad News: Spirit Squad was sent back to Triple A. (:17)

Mail Bag (:21): Insecticidal Andy Duke thinks the Deever is a secret Kryptonian. (:26) Speculation ensues on whether JBL is a secret third co-host of the show. 'Damn' asks about combined bad gimmicks. (:30) RD is worried his son will one day find out about and listen to the show. He also wanted to be the next Weird Al at one point; Blade meanwhile wanted to play Jason at a donkey show. Bob Dhalstrom has his own ideas for the company to follow on, one of which involves Gene Snitsky and Stephanie McMahon. (:34)

J.T. Tinny with unnamed person

Random people fell victim of the Wellness Policy, including Thumbnail-toothed Great Khali-Collie. This angers RD for some reason. (:35) The Diva Search made Blade hit the bottle this week. (:44) Blade talks loudly, unaware that the talky end of the phone receiver acts as a microphone. JT Titty should tag with Areola, the tarot card reader. (:47)  ECW has DQs in "Extreme Rules" matches. Mike Knox, Mr. Charisma. I can't hear RD beneath the music.

Seventeen Syllables of the Weekly Wrestling Haiku
Flair, Undertaker,
then Kane. E C Dub, Extreme
Crossover Wrestling.

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• The liver to my elevated enzymes, Mr. Blade Braxton
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Global Internet, The Wrestling Observer pg. 12
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 7. People who are jerk offs, sucking, getting spanked and put to bed, getting in touch with people, one of our 12 listeners, The Diva Search, retarded
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
• Outdated references: 3. Maude, Jack Lalane, Dirty Dancing
• I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.
  

 

• F-Bombs: 1. Blade
  

 

• Ashley Massaro References:  2
• Trish Stratus References:  3
• Shelly Martinez References:  9
  

 

• Mailbag
• Insecticidal Andy Duke: Dear Real Deal and Bladerick Brakestown, it has come to my attention that one of the Diva Search contestants is named Layla L, the one with the curly hear. Her name is Layla L, much like Superman who was named Kal-El. Mr. Brakestown, do you think she used her super Krypton powers to win the Diva Boot Camp? Could this be a future gimmick much like Christy being on crystal meth, and Ashley being a Hot Topic hobo? Also could you mention the Cidal Squad on the air? JBL, don't steal our gimmick man.
  
• 'Damn': If you could combine two crappy gimmicks into one, what would they be? I would combine the Zombie with 3 Count and ripoff Thriller in every match he was in. Blade: Summerslam 88 Elizabeth with Naked Mideon.
  
• Bob Dhalstrom: So since Stephanie has had her baby girl, am I the only one who sees dollar signs in a Stephanie-Snitsky feud? It is what it is.
  

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
  Flair, Undertaker,
  then Kane. E C Dub, Extreme
  Crossover Wrestling.

 

034 Diva Debacle: July 14, 2006

Krankor hits the Bottle with JT Titty
(63 minutes)

RD's Trip to the Grocery: Wal-Mart has restaurant gift cards. (:09)
Blade's Trip to the Grocery: "pasta in sauce with beef and chicken hot dogs with beef."

Faxtrolla semi-exclusive news (:14): boo-rah. The Miz wants Johnny Fairplay to come to ECW. DDP is taking his Yoga for Regular Guys on tour.

Mail Bag: Smash Bradley asks how to actually implement Siamese twin wrestlers. (:23) Krankor's laugh is used in response. Extreme K of Fort Mike Knox thinks of putting The Great Collie in a dog outfit and placing him in dog shows. (:27) Sausagesandwich is one of their 'many fans, of whom I know none', who has a thing for punching the Miz. (:30)

SmackDown is looking retro, with Tatanka and caskets and midgets and kings. (:34) A Punjabi Prison match was announced and Michael Cole said it would be in the jungle. (:36) Candice Michelle was sent to ECW to teach Kelly Kelly how to strip. (:39) Big Show's hands are now cannonballs and his head is a bowling ball. CM Punk doesn't like drinking, so Blade hit the bottle. (:44)

ECW IS STRIPPING

Miz's hosting of the Diva Search segment was pure wrestlecrap. (:48)  Hopeful Layla said she wanted to be the Deever, so she will now be called that. Another candidate (Maryse) used her impenetrable Quebec accent to be an 'air-flying diva', another (Robecca) tried to pepper spray the ring, and another (Molina) looks too much like Ashley Massaro.

Miz called one contestant JT Titty.

The Haiku:
Moronic Divas.
How will this class top last year's?
Leave it to Deever.

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• The Jack to my Daniels, Mr. Blade Braxton
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 1. Global Internet
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 11. Last week, last week’s show, The Miz, mounting Chloe and doing her doggystyle, bags, reaching down into my bag, my bag, sodomy overtones, the elderly, transvestite, chesticles
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
• Outdated references: 1. Nancy Reagan
• I didn’t even know he was sick: 1. Nancy Reagan
  

 

• Debut: Krankor Laughs: 9
  

 

• Ashley Massaro References:  4

 

• Mailbag
• Smash Bradley: Hello dear lords of Crapsalot. I've pondered this question and got several answers. If there were a set of Siamese twins (explain what a Siamese twin is: one set of legs, two torsos), would they be considered a single wrestler or a tag team? And if you pick a tag team, how would the tags work? Be careful if you read this, because John Laurenitis might go on the hunt. Krankor: HA. HA. HA. HA. HA. HA. HA.
  
• Extreme K: I am writing to you from Fort Mike Knox where the nation's supply of Art Donovan approved bathroom scales are stored. I think it would be an awesome idea if you put the dog exterior from the Shaggin' Wagon on the Great Khali and renamed him the Great Collie, and then you could proceed to enter him in the Westminster Dog Show. My question to both of you: would Daivari's bitch win, and do you think the Dog Show would once again preempt Raw just for the sake of giving Smackdown a quick upper hand in the brand extension, in terms of rating and publicity? Blade: Mounting Chloe, Torrie Wilson's dog.
  
• Sausagesandwich: I live in England and have to say that I am one of your many, many fans, of whom I know none. Your radio show never ceases to amuse and offend me. I have two questions, both are well urgent. Number one: if you had the choice, would you punch Miz in the face one time as hard as you could, or ten times at medium force? Personally I would punch him just once, then kick him in the balls, but to each his own. Number two: If you were to be in WWE, and were allowed to choose your own gimmick on the grounds that it made Wrestlecrap, what would it be? Myself, I like the idea of the One Headed Man. Blade: Slap my Miz around twenty times. No sold.
  

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Repeat Gooker alert!
  Moronic Divas.
  How will this class top last year's?
  Leave it to Deever.