True or False Face
March 9, 1966
"False Face traps Batman and Robin, and binding them to a subway track just minutes before a train is scheduled to come by."
81 minutes
"RD: Asking Santa for a Trick Truck". He underestimated Vince's "issue" in trying to sort out Jeff Lane's "anal-retentive" episode numberings. RD: "I hope you're not renting an anal." He cuts a WWCR style promo against "Jeff Lie". Vince threatens to have him on the show. He tells an anecdote about meeting Jeff for the first time, where he got sick over a 7-Eleven hot dog and threw up into his hands and hat. (:05) He also burps Blade-style.
RD: "Vince McMahon and the golden egg I just wrote 'Gooker'." (:12)
A crown is being exhibited, and an appalled princess tells O'Hara it may be "schhhtollen" before handing him a note from "FF". Somehow he knows immediately who it is.
Vince is surprised such a scary impacting villain only appeared the once. RD is surprised the concept hasn't been explored more in horror movies. He considers the Ed Ferrara Munsters Christmas movie he plans to watch to also be a horror movie.
FF - False Face, not Fred Flintstone - shows up wearing a clear plastic mask of another face on his own. He has to prove he is what he says he is by taking off part of his beard. O'Hara: "IT'S FALSE FACE! The infamous criminal master of trickery and disguise!" Then Face lights the beard to cause an obscuring explosion to escape with the princess. She drops her cape into a three and a half foot inflating airbag that completely stops O'Hara. Face is so happy he jumps and clicks his heels.
A car chase ensues with Face in his paddy wagon Trick Truck where everything is labelled. (:19) This includes changing the car into different types including an armored vehicle. Here though it just changes color into a bakery truck and Face into a chef. He is so happy he jumps and clicks his heels. This reminds RD of when the Duo change clothes automatically on the Batpoles and/or when Alfred has something different for them to wear for April Fools.
At Police HQ Gordon...laughs the crime off. At least until they find he already swapped the crown for a false. (:24) "Can't we stop this master of devilish disguises?" Their only hope is to once again call for "that towering power for right and justice, the Caped Crusader."
At Stately Wayne Manor Dick is now learning about trees: "Gosh! Botany is tough! I'll never learn to recognize all these trees!"
Bruce: "Come come Dick. Pine, elm, hickory, chestnut, maple. Part of our heritage is the lore of living things, the storybook of nature."
Both wrote down that Aunt Harriet has no bra. Vince gives RD applause.
RD found out Face appeared in Batman #113 in 1958, in the issue where "Batman meets Fatman". For some reason he calls the actor Malachi THORNE (rather than Throne, which sounds a far cooler surname), who continued to do voices in animated Batman.
At Police HQ Batman appraises the crown at $1 million, far more than any stolen haul so far. An old man shows up with a note for Batman that is deceivingly false. In this case Face wants to give money to a "defenseless little girl" so Robin thinks he means a boy. They determine he actually means the Ladd Armored Car Company. Robin: "Holy bouncing boilerplated fists!"
Batman also unmasks the old man as Face's henchwoman Blaze. (:35) RD found out actor Myrna Fahey had a stock-ticker in her dressing room, dated George Hamilton and Joe DiMaggio, was threatened by an actual insane asylum patient, and tragically died too young (40) from cancer. RD gives this blond look 7.5 Batpoles. Vince has 8.5. Blaze escapes by jumping through a window onto an FF air mattress. Batman makes puns in response. Robin stumbles in his response.
At his lair Face is so happy he takes off Blaze's blond wig revealing she was wearing the crown underneath it. RD gives this look a 5.5. Vince concurs. He uses the paywall opportunity to call one of this Counterfeit Crew a midget (because of his height). Face speaks in alliteration and his goons cheer: "Thanks men, I know you didn't mean it!" Vince liked he respected his henchmen, even if he spoke in opposites.
At Ladd one of their cars is late. (:44) Batman calls Gordon to inform him they may need to investigate the National Bank it is at.
Mr. Ladd: "Bless you, Batman. Every law-abiding citizen of Gotham City goes with you today in spirit."
Secretary: "And if it were possible, in body."
RD finds the secretary very attractive, later in the recording giving her 8.5. Vince has to rewatch it to find her for himself.
At the National Bank RD demonstrates the camera Dutch angling to show danger is near. The Duo determine Face is around since he parked so close to a fire hydrant. Face (as a guard) escapes with an exploding money bag onto his Trick Truck, and he leaves with a laugh.
The Duo's stunt doubles give chase, but are stopped by Face as an old woman with her 'Boy Scout' as his dwarf henchman. This brings up a fight with the rest of the gang with "no joke, literally, midget tossing." (RD) Vince doesn't think it's a bad thing since they were paid for it, although the one here was thrown into a trash can. During the scuffle Blaze gets into the Batmobile and then out of it. As the police arrive Face eludes by smoke bomb. He is so happy he jumps and clicks his heels.
Gordon is temporarily stymied by Face as O'Hara who escapes with Blaze and real O'Hara in the Trick Truck. The rest of the gang are left to flail about.
At the Batcave the Duo confirm with technobabble principles that a dollar note is fake, and determines Face will print counterfeit money. At the Official Bank Note Printing Company (...a mint?), the Duo enter a heavily trapped place but hide to observe purple haired Blaze entering with the gang. RD gives this one a 7. Vince has 6.5. The Duo jump down to once again beat up the gang and, for some reason, hang the dwarf on a coat rack. Blaze tries to blow a kiss at Batman who blows it right back, then throws her over his shoulders like a sack of produce.
At Police HQ Face gets away with being O'Hara by mumbling his words because he has a toothache. (:58) Blaze is uncooperative. Robin: "That's pretty dim, Blaze!" Batman hopes to rehabilitate Face "somehow". All of a sudden Blaze now wants to help Batman since he's a good man.
She leads the Duo to an abandoned subway station and suddenly asks Batman to go get her some candy. Replies he: "Candy? But fresh fruit is much more healthier." Vince wants that on a t-shirt. But there is a candy machine nearby which produces...silver dollars! No, it's just knock out gas, and the Duo are immobilized. Vince complains on all the gas being used.
Face arrives as a steam train engineer, and ties the Duo to the train tracks. And without a false mustache to twirl? Devious. Vince likes that Face did not want to unmask the Duo. He just wanted to (literally) make money.
Robin: "FIEND!"
Batman: "You'll regret this!...Eventually!"
Blaze on the other hand is reconsidering her affiliation. Before she and Face leave she asks Batman for forgiveness, which he gives.
Narrator: "Can Batman and Robin break the unbreakable? Slip out of the chemical clutches? ESCAPE THE APOXY? Keep your Batwings crossed until tomorrow! Same time, same channel, same perilous predicament!"
Vince wonders how many schoolchildren were running home to watch the show. RD's joke about Vince's age gives the latter pause to try and calculate on it. RD references Star Blazers aka Space Battleship Yamato, one of the first influential mecha/animes, or as Vince calls them "robutts".
The two again wonder why Face only appeared the once when he did, especially when Throne did a good job of it. The episode was a good one to them. Vince thinks they'll escape by hitting the lever to move the train to another track.
Vince heard Eartha Kitt's Santa Baby on the radio. RD hates all versions of it. The two disagree on whether Cyndi Lauper actually sang.
Vince is confused by RD being Santa to play against sassy children at Rupert's Kids Arcade for Christmas. He co-plugs it regardless.
- Special Guest Villain: False Face (Malachi Throne as ?)
- Screen Captures: 1. Vince
- Vince Burps: 1.
- SPEAKING OFs: 1. Nature in the raw
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