Episode 15: Holy Fruit Salad!: November 7, 2021

The Joker Goes to School
"When a vending machine in a high school starts dispensing bizarrely valuable items, Batman discovers the Joker is behind this for mysterious reasons."
74 minutes

"RD: No Gimmicked Machines Here" Not even Trolla products? Vince has a new website. He asks RD about his Reds fandom and his Willy Wonka pinball table. Someone had gifted Vince a Batman Tiny TV Classic.

For once, Vince forgot this day's swerve, (:05) in this case of Donna Loren who was on one of Vince's earlier shows. RD is not sure who is no longer with us from the main cast. The Co-Bros check out a few names to ascertain their vitality. Vince: "Interesting."

RD temporarily disconnects. He blames it on Vince almost insulting Julie Newmar on her age. (:09)

At the gymnasium of Woodrow Roosevelt High School (long time rivals of Jefferson Lincoln no doubt), a basketball team handles a basketball for the first time while "young Dick" lifts weights in the corner. Vince did not see any erections in his winter clothing worn indoors. 

RD does the cheerleaders' awkward chant. Vince thinks they're the Knights who say Ni instead of the Knights who say Ekke Ekke Ekke Ekke Ptang Zoo Boing. The chant stops the "basketballers" to applaud (and look for a shrubbery) and Dick wonders if cheerleader Susie (Loren) wrote it herself. She shifts the blame to their poetry professor (not teacher). Vince: "Interesting."

All this bad cheerleading leads them to a milk vending machine. Vince remembers when they had those in schools, but he won't drink it by itself unlike RD (who had the old glass bottles). Vince: "Interesting." The vending machine is actually giving silver dollars which requires a call for the police. Vince plays the wrong clip for RD before the applause. Gordon: "There's a strange bonanza from a gimmicked milk machine." 

Determining that this is the Joker's doing, Alfred has to find Bruce who is talking to one Mr. Vandergilt, who is asking Bruce once again to run for mayor. Alfred: "HEY, IT'S THE BATPHONE!" Bruce is told to come to the high school, so of course he slides down the Batpole to police HQ instead. Apparently Joker was just released last week allowing him to buy the "One Armed Bandit Novelty Company". The two blame Gordon, Warden Criton, and the out of order episode airing. (:26)

Interestingly (non-Vince) as RD relates, pinball was still considered a gambling activity to be outlawed, hence something that the Joker would be (criminally) involved. It wasn't until actual pinball wizard Robert Sharpe demonstrated in a New York court ten years later that play was more about skill than luck that it was finally unbanned.

Principal Schoolfield then calls over speakerphone to report another machine in the library giving out "negotiable" stocks. Batman: "SCHOOLFIELD!!! THIS IS BATMAN!!! DO YOU HEAR ME???" He asks to hold a meeting with student council president "Richard Grayson", then asks for the Joker's "digital ID file". Vince gives RD proper applause this time.

Among the people with Dick is a "nerd" named Herbie. RD does his Nathaniel impression for him, boy oh boy. (:31) Susie gets quarters from Schoolfield's coffee machine to help put Dick in his place. Batman parks illegally in the school parking lot, then has to get out his megaphone to tell the excited people and schoolchildren to stay back from the Batmobile's delicate crime equipment and anti-theft system. 

"In a fashionably little bistro" a heavy drunk finds the jukebox has a message from the Joker for "my cheese boozehounds" in the form of a gun, and the place is robbed.

Batman warns that these handout providing machines are a trap to lead people into "a deceptive pattern of easy-living" to join crime gangs. Make your own political joke here. (:37) He uses a slide projector to show one (1) photo of the Joker standing at 6'8". Romero and his mustache were 6'3", almost as tall as 6'5" RD if that was actually a true number (Romero's, not RD). Vince is reminded of the recent Raw where the interviewer had to reduce his height, so he had to wide squat rather than just about anything else less ridiculous looking. Batman calls Joker "one of the most malevolent malefactors we've ever met", which makes me sad that wasn't also said in any of the animated series. 

Batman asks the "high schoolers that look like their early 30s" (RD) to notice the Joker's lapel flower, at which the CPOC (Clown Prince of Crime) himself pops out of the screen to gloat. Vince gives RD boos since he forgot he only admitted to "shoot a jolly jet through that tiny perforation in that screen." One of the students charges him with school loitering, then punishable by up to $5000 and 5 years. Joker counters by saying he has to be loitering for more than two minutes for that, then runs off. Batman: "You...you JAILHOUSE LAWYER!" Gordon calls to tell him about the bistro robbery, covered by the Joker's alibi of being at the school. 

Batman (to the students): "Go back to your studies. Believe me, nothing in life is free."

The Joker and his people The Bad Pennies Nick and Two Bits are at the Easy Living Candyshop gimmicking further machines, including a shuffle-bowler. Suzie is also there. She demands her payment for delivering some exams, so the Joker gives her a bracelet, a fur coat, and "Mexican perfume". Suzie: "My, this is like some lovely dream!" (:49) RD gives Suzie a "nice solid" 7.5 Batpoles, later rounded up to 8. Vince gives her a "solid" 9, his highest so far. 

In the Batcave Dick studies algebra with Alfred as Batman picks him up. By then Suzie has snuck into the school at night to gimmick more machines. RD tries to screen capture text that doesn't fix the screen so Vince has to boo him. 

Suzie: "How do you stop a dog from barking in July?"
Joker: "Countersign: shoot him in June."

She runs into the investigating Duo to tell them there's trouble again in the gym. Telling Robin to prepare himself, Batman puts a dime in the machine, causing knee-cuffs to emerge and hold the two into knockout gas. "Twelve and one half minutes later," (Narrator) they wake up in electric chairs in a "curious vehicle" tied up to a slot machine. The Joker and Suzie are in front failing to properly disguise their voices telling "the feathered fatman" they could get shocked...or $50,000. Robin: "Holy fruit salad!" The cliffhanger comes after two lemons come up.

The Co-Bros are surprised the show had a young 19 year old (Lauren) on their show. Vince promises to have her on the show next week.

The two enjoyed the episode as well. Even the scheme is something the Joker would do, gimmicked machines or otherwise. RD uses the opportunity to shill Rupert's Kids Arcade. (:64)

Sad News: some of the patrons thought their last Versus was "difficult to listen to". I honestly didn't mind it and its non-Vince interesting background. 

The two find more people to determine their health and/or availability for their show. (:69)


  • Special Guest Villain: The Joker [2] (Cesar Romero) [2]


  • I did in fact know he was sick:  1. Yvonne Craig
  • Technical Difficulties: 1. RD
  • SPEAKING OFs: 1. Young Dick
  • Screen Shares: 1. RD

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