Fine Finny Fiends
May 4, 1966
"The Penguin captures and brainwashes Alfred to be his unwitting pawn for his plan against a wealthy social event."
62 minutes
"RD Wouldn't Eat a Pound of Caviar." He wouldn't wear his cap either, taking it off to show his clean shaven head. He had gone to the Louisville Arcade Expo to use a dot matrix printer.
Alfred is outside a "small fish store" wondering if he should buy caviar on sale unaware that inside there are goons in drag with fake caviar laying in wait. He enters waving a handbill asking for "20 pounds at least, a pound for each guest," despite normal caviar servings being an ounce, or one sixteenth of a pound. Vince thinks it will all be for Aunt Harriet and her "cankles". The goons then trap Alfred with an umbrella and gas him.
A bunch of cops fill Gordon's office like at the start of the season, determining that an umbrella was in fact used.
O'Hara: "Any ordinary crook, the department can handle. But when it comes to the likes of the Penguin, there's only one bein' on earth..."
The news takes answering Bruce by such surprise he almost drops the Batphone. He tells Dick to set aside his Latin verbs for the time being. Dick: "Holy Wayne Manor! You don't mean our Alfred?"
At the office Batman congratulates O'Hara on his "keen deduction", while Robin wonders why there is no ransom note. O'Hara: "By thunderation, the lad is right!" Batman remembers there will be a secret "multimillionaires' annual award dinner" that Alfred is major-domo for, that Penguin may have kidnapped to find the location of. They go to the fish store to investigate further.
The lair of the "seagoing scoundrels" is in Gotham City Waterfront, where one of them named Octopus is getting rather too intimate with a fish tank. (:18) The Co-Bros find the lady Finella alright (although it would be hard to compete with Pauline) but Vince feels there is something off with the older women on the show compared to the younger ones. (Apparently 28 is old to him.) She argues with Penguin about her swimsuit. Alfred won't tell the location so Penguin threatens him with "super calculated trickery" of making him waddle in his "Penguin Box". This involves putting him in a barbershop chair with Christmas lights and dry ice to "brainwash" him.
Vince keeps seeing sweat on Penguin's prosthetic nose.
At the fish store Robin tampers with the crime scene by eating some caviar smeared on the wall. Batman finds the handbill for "Knott A Fish" and thus a criminal. They leave to cross the street to the Batmobile.
Batman: "Remember, Robin: always look both ways."
Gordon tells them that Alfred has been found "safe and sound as a dollar" (not a pound?) in Stately Wayne Manor as O'Hara shakes all the cops' hands in celebration for some reason. Gordon gives him a look before shaking his head.
In the Batcave the Duo question a now twitching Alfred.
Alfred: "I don't know what you're talking about; I didn't buy caviar at a fish store. I buy it where I always get it: the Iranian embassy!"
They take him to the "Memory Bat-Bank" to show him random photos. RD actually tried some image recognition of his own just because. At the Penguin's goons Alfred twitches again, then says he doesn't know who their boss is, then says he has to leave for the rehearsal dinner which is conveniently upstairs.
At the dinner Bruce has to spend time with someone who looks like Gilligan's Island's Professor wearing the Skipper's cap. (:33) A group of women wear swimsuits including "Miss Natural Resources."
Professor: "I'd like to make her my own personal charity."
Bruce: "All are worthy."
Professor: "You can say that again."
Another person thinks Bruce's great grandfather in a painting was a member of the secretive Yale society Skull And Bones. Bra wearing Aunt Harriet corrects him by saying he actually founded the group (if his name was actually William Huntington Russell or Alphonso Taft and he time traveled from 1832). Alfred and another leer at Miss Civil Rights.
The Professor finds a fish hook in his food. Alfred says it's from his "morning coat". This prompts Bruce and Dick to leave without a word to the Batcave to determine the Penguin is somewhere on the Waterfront which runs for 146 miles before they find a place owned by Knott on the pier.
Penguin and his unhappy goons somehow know to wait for the Duo, including one goon who goes uncredited for some reason. Penguin: "There's many a slip, so zipper your lip!" They go into their hideout causing the camera to Dutch angle. Finella is in a fishnet swimsuit gushing over Batman, although the Bros still don't fall for her look. Penguin: "Close your gills!"
The Duo find a Penguin statue rolling on a desk. Batman: "This proves he's here." Then some umbrellas fall and trap them momentarily so their stunt doubles can fight for them. Vince is shocked the goons won a fight for once, even if Penguin had his own stunt double with them. (:43) Batman at least reels in one goon with a fishing pole before his takedown. Cue the gas.
Penguin orders them tied up in a "vacuum tank" with balloons strewn all around while his goons operate gigantic bellows with a helpful sign listing oxygen levels for living creatures. Narrator: "Will they be vanquished by a vac-u-um?"
The two wonder if Alfred is still under the Penguin's twitch without any Bat-antidote.
RD remembers Penguin's bad teeth for some reason.
For now the two give their disapproval for the day's episode.
Vince guesses after a while that Julie Gregg as Finella appeared in The Godfather as Sandra Corleone.
Vince didn't know RD co-wrote The Death of WCW before he first appeared on WCR. RD told Blade not to ask him a single question on wrestling for his second time.
RD's cereal of choice is Peanut Butter Crunch. Vince has never had it. He prefers Life Cereal.
- Special Guest Villain: The Penguin [3] (Burgess Meredith) [3]
- Screen Captures: 1. RD
- Entertain The People: 1
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