The Joker's Last Laugh
February 15, 1967
"Counterfeit money is being distributed by respectable citizens in Gotham
City. Batman and Robin investigate, and find one of the Joker's
lifelike robots substituting for a bank teller. They are certain who is
behind the crime. But to get actual proof, Batman plans to visit the
villain as Bruce Wayne and trick him into disclosing his operation. When
his scheme suddenly backfires, it appears he will instead have to
appoint the Joker as Vice Chairman of the Gotham National Bank."
The Joker's Epitaph
February 16, 1967
"The Joker is now Vice Chairman of the Gotham National Bank, due to an
unsuccessful plan of Batman's. He installs his robots as tellers, and
despite his criminal past, seems to be running things in perfect order.
The Dynamic Duo realize they will have to trick him into making a
mistake in order to remove him. They go to work on a plan to gain
control of his robots. But that plan is jeopardized when, due to an odd
turn of events, Batman's true identity Bruce Wayne is declared mentally
ill and hauled off in a straight-jacket."
83 minutes
RD: Says Economics IS Dull was away overseas the previous week. (Vince jokes he went to Gotham.) The Bros make up for it by making fun of McMahon's black marker hair. RD references The Fly.
Vince sleeps with one eye open.
Both forget that the episode originally aired on Cesar Romero's 60th birthday.
Narrator: "Outside the Gotham City National Bank, wealthy young socialite Miranda Fleece is about to perform an act of charity."
The Bros agree she is more attractive than the Joker's actual girl Josie. despite the rather dubious surname. I think it's more for the piece of clothing instead of her being a potential con artist.
She gives a $100 bill to a bum passer-by, who immediately finds it's counterfeit because it's only printed on one side. "Help! Police! Fuzz!" he shouts off the top of the head.
Office Gordon is already "baffled" by this, one of a string of incidents "being passed not by criminals
but by well-known pillars of society ... It's almost as if some deranged mind were trying to taunt our very sanity."
Suddenly a Joker laugh is heard, which is such a heinous deed that -
Gordon: "Once again we take our poor cracked pitcher to the Caped Crusader's well."
At Stately Wayne Manor:
Dick: "Gosh, economics is sure a dull subject."
Multimillionaire businessman Bruce: "Oh, you must be jesting, Dick. Economics dull, the glamour, the romance of commerce, it's the very life blood of our country's society. Frankly, I can think of nothing more stimulating than economics and commerce - "
Alfred: "Begging your pardon, sir. It's the telephone in the study, sir."
Harriet: "Mercy alive, the way that boy [Dick] changes his mind. I wonder if he's over-tired."
Gordon: "Words are superfluous." He plays the Joker's laughter over the phone.
Dick: "Holy funny bone, The Joker!"
Bruce: "Courage, commissioner, courage. Joker seldom has the last laugh. To the Batpoles!"
The Duo come to the Office over the titles, where Batman makes the great deduction that Joker is trying to make them equally mad.
Robin: "Joker knows we'll need every ounce of our sanity to outwit his filthy plot."
They adjust their Bat-Detector for "super laugh track sensitivity" to track the sound comes from a loudspeaker somehow in Gordon's left cuff link somehow planted on there by the "agile" Joker. This leads to a tubed antenna in the left trouser leg which he pulls out from the waist.
Robin: "Holy chutzpah."
Batman: "This [counterfeit] was passed by an innocent dupe?"
RD considers changing his display name to Innocent Dupe.
The Duo go to investigate a "shady bank".
The Joker makes his lair in..."Penthouse Publishers, formerly innocent purveyors of mirth". This is though completely unrelated to the then active Penthouse Publications, only based in the UK at the time. (:15)
Joker (to his moll): "Oh, this continued mirth is exhausting, even for the Clown Prince of Crime. That dunderhead Gordon, he couldn't find a haystack in a needle factory. No, you can be quite certain, sweet Josie Miller, the failure of our tiny receiver means Batman is on the job."
Josie: "Gee, I'm not very glad to hear that, Joker."
Joker: "My foolish, trepidatious child, he's not headed here. Why even as we speak, you can bet he's racing to the bank and doom."
He summons two goons named Yock and Boff to prepare, and two waxen robots do some stretches.
Joker: "Comically lifelike, aren't they? They were my manual training project last spell I did in that filthy penitentiary." (What, all two weeks?)
The robo-goons demonstrate their strength, and then an alarm sounds signifying the Duo's arrival at the shady bank. The villains all speed out to watch on the "roving robot recorder".
At the bank the branch manager, one Mr. F Flamm, claims no involvement in the counterfeiting. The only development was his head teller. "He went out for a sandwich at noon and didn't return. He did send in a substitute, I'm pleased to say, Mr. Glee."
Of course he is a robot. Banks were certainly more trusting in not doing their due diligence in checking their employees, huh.
Batman: "Good afternoon, Mr. Glee. I'm Batman."
Glee: "Obviously, sir."
Batman notices Glee's collar button and pokes it, giving observing Joker a fit that he's touching his hidden camera. Riddler Batman: "Tell me, Mr. Glee, why is a collar button like an old pile of burning automobile tires? Answer. Because they both choke."
Glee responds by exploding.
Robin: "Holy clockworks, a mechanical marvel."
Flamm: "I'm flabbergasted, Batman. How on Earth did you know that was a robot?"
Robin: "Simple, Mr. Flamm, even the most infallible robots have one defect. They have no sense of humor. Batman told him a funny joke. [Emphasis mine] When the creature didn't laugh that was proof."
Batman: "Well, you wretched ruin, I guess we'll take you back to the Batcave. One last warning, Mr. Flamm. The next time your chief teller goes out for a sandwich, and sends a stranger back in his place, scrutinize him carefully. I'm sure I speak for the chairman of the board, millionaire Bruce Wayne, in saying that you owe that to all of your depositors."
This is all by Joker's plan though, because they can use the homing beacon in Glee's remains to track the Batcave.
Joker: "Quick! To the Jokemobile!"
Cue everyone trying to fit into a Ford Model "Mongrel" T (previously used in an Elvis movie).
Of course the Duo are aware of the tracker.
Robin: "What'll we do, Batman, lure them into an ambush and bash them with our Batarangs?"
Instead they use their Bat-Deflector to send them elsewhere. What they think is the labelled secret entrance to the Batcave is in fact a small manhole labelled "Laugh, criminals, laugh!"
Needless to say Joker is enraged: "I'll have it! By all the saints of wicked mirth, I'll have it! The last laugh will still be mine!"
In the actual Batcave the Duo place Glee on the "Integro-Differential Robot Analyzer" but find nothing unusual. Thankfully they have Alfred's "keen sartorial sense", who notices the sleeve buttons are all wrong. Batman takes a sample for the "Bat-Spot Analyzer" and detects printer's ink.
Batman: "Transferred to the cloth when that cheapskate pressed his robot's wear in his printing press."
Alfred: "Bless my steam iron, how revolting."
Batman: "Revolting, indeed, Alfred, like the colors of these inks: arsenic green, rotten apple red, bilious blue. I believe there's just one sort of legitimate printing firm that would employ such hues."
Robin: "A firm that prints comic books."
Batman: "Right again, Robin."
They link it to newly sold Penthouse Publishers, sold to one "W. C. Whiteface".
At the lair W. C. Whiteface continues to be in a foul mood. An intruder alarm goes off, triggered by...Bruce Wayne. Sorry, millionaire Bruce Wayne.
Bruce makes a show of being "ruined, bankrupt, wiped out", to Joker's confusion. "I hardly dare ask it, Mr. Whiteface, but do you know anyone who could print me up a batch of counterfeit currency?"
Joker: "What a curious request to make of a legitimate business man such as myself."
Bruce: "Yes, I know it does seem a bit odd but you see, I foolishly succumbed to the temptation of speculation with the funds of the Wayne Foundation, and the results were catastrophic. Tomorrow is the annual accounting and if I don't have 1 million dollars in cash I will be headed up the river without a paddle. I chanced to be thumbing through one of the comic books that you publish and it struck my eye: the inks that you use are identical to the inks used by the United States Treasury."
Josie suspects a trap, but Joker thinks there may be some truth to it even if so. And Bruce says he will appoint him Vice Chairman of Gotham National Bank for his cooperation.
A now intrigued Joker agrees to help by providing a sample, so Bruce secretly signals Robin to break in through a window.
Joker: "Robots, give him a whimsical whammy."
Cue Robin Victor Paul fighting solo. He does so well that Bruce joins in by colliding into the robots. An even more confused Joker activates the "Robot Super Strength Last Ounce Of Energy" switch to let the robots win.
Robin is then tied to a comic book press about to be smashed.
Bruce: "Mr. Whiteface, this is murder."
Joker: Well, how true, Mr. Wayne, yes...and just to ensure against a double-cross, you will perform it."
Narrator: "Indignities of indignities! Robin printed into a comic book? Bruce Wayne his old chum's killer? For the crushing finale, tune in tomorrow! Same Battime, Same Batchannel!"
...
The Bros find the episode titles rather morbid, especially as Joker still remains to cause more havoc and mayhem. But to Vince nothing can be as bad as BatAlfred keeping his beard. He probably got that from the Joker('s mustache). (:35)
The Bros again mock McMahon's attempt at a mustache.
RD: "He had Burt Reynolds at a Wrestlemania!"
Vince thinks Dutch Mantell had the best mustache.
Narrator:"When we last saw the Boy Wonder he was about to be printed into a horrible human comic book, and Bruce Wayne was being forced to push the switch that would stamp Robin's doom. What way out? Frankly, this observer fears there's none. The answer in just one moment. ...
But on the street below the doomful scene, trusty Alfred has a Batman plan."
Yes, it's time once again for Alfred to wear the cowl.
Alfred (on a Batcommunicator): "Master Robin, Mr. Wayne, sir, do you read me? Do you read me, sir? ... Oh, dear. Bless my vertigo."
And so Alfred Batclimbs up the wall. RD would watch him do so all day. Jack LaLanne would have been a window celebrity for it.
Alfred breaks in through another window with Bruce again ventriloquisting his voice. He throws a Batgas canister to drive the goons away through a suit of cards as a door.
Robin: "Gosh, yes, I should have thought of that."
Bruce: "No, don't blame yourself, Robin. It's sometimes difficult to think clearly when you're strapped to a printing press."
Unfortunately to aid his initial plan Bruce made an actual legally binding document for Joker to be Vice Chairman, which he managed to take.
Robin: "Holy bankruptcy."
Sure enough after the real Batman dons the cowl and they return to the bank branch, Joker has already made quick work in installing his robot tellers providing counterfeits. (:44)
Joker: "What can I do for you? Perhaps a small Batcave improvement loan?"
Flamm: "Mr. Whiteface has this branch in apple pie order."
Batman: "Are you aware that your new tellers are actually a pair of robots?"
Flamm: "Oh, well, yes, I did suspect that, but our customers find them positively charming, and our mid-day audit was correct to the penny."
...Did Joker just invent personless/automated banking? Never mind online banking, this was two years before the first ATM went into service (in nearby New York). He could have legitimately made a fortune that way.
Robin: "That twisted mocking fiend! What's he up to?"
Batman: "All too obvious, he's playing honest to set the stage for a criminal coup that will stagger our imaginations."
Seeing him and Josie exit the building they attempt to follow: "from the look on his face, they're off to rob a church poor box."
Joker: "Why, you impertinent flying rodent. Miss Miller and I are off to see my associate, millionaire Bruce Wayne, on a most important matter."
They get in the Jokemobile. Robin thinks the vehicle is not street legal, forgetting the one they already drive in. They shout really loudly that they're driving away in the Batmobile, and on returning home they immediately inform Alfred of Joker's visit.
Above ground in Stately Wayne Manor, Joker has a tape recording of Bruce asking for his "help".
Dick: "Gosh, Bruce, how could you?"
Bruce: "Temptation, Dick. A sudden drop in the stock market, a search for an easy way. It's ruined stronger men than myself. So, Mr. Whiteface, what's the point of your gloomy reprise?"
Joker: "Blackmail, Mr. Wayne."
Dick: "You ungrateful devil. Isn't it enough that Bruce appointed you vice chairman of the bank?"
Bruce: "Don't dip your oar in this sordid sea, Dick. You might get besmirched."
Joker: "Imagine my ghastly situation, Mr. Wayne. Legally installed in the bank but watched like an insect by that infernal Caped Crusader. If I misappropriate a dime, the Bat will pounce."
Bruce: "Yes, I can understand for someone of your dubious character that might prove annoying."
Joker will publicly release the recording unless Bruce gives up the dead bodies of the Duo.
Bruce: "That is impossible."
Dick: "Bruce Wayne may be a crooked embezzler, but he's not a killer. Right, Bruce?"
Bruce: "You phrase it well, Dick. Since the murder of my parents by dastardly criminals violence has been anathema to me."
So Joker has a backup plan: have Bruce marry Josie for $3 million.
Josie: "I'll be faithful forever in my fashion. I'll love you until the oceans are hung up and dried."
Joker immediately informs a paper so that a next day newsie can headline: "Millionaire Bruce
Wayne to wed reformed gun moll, banker's pretty protégé."
In the Office the Undynamic Duo shirk their jobs by remarking on the situation...then calling Batman for some reason.
Gordon: "Batman, have you read the dire news about Bruce Wayne?"
Batman: "Love is blind, commissioner. Bruce Wayne is over 21. I fear there is nothing we can do. (To Robin) She's a fetching creature, Robin. Bruce might find it not without certain pleasures."
Robin: "Holy madness, Batman, I don't dig this. Bruce Wayne didn't embezzle, that was just a ploy. Joker's blackmail threat isn't worth a tinker's darn."
Batman can't really tell the truth, since doing so would reveal his true identity. He does have one thing he can use: Glee's remains.
Narrator: "Watch out, Bruce Wayne, for as the Caped Crusaders toil, a strange meeting takes place in Commissioner Gordon's office."
The two "policemen" are still obsessing over the match enough that they have actually brought in one Dr. Floyd to determine that Bruce is suffering from "the well-known second childhood syndrome" which mandates sending him to Arkham Asylum "some mental institution". (:57)
Gordon: "Chief O'Hara? Alert your anti-lunatic squad. If Batman won't help us, we'll do it ourselves. Bring in millionaire Bruce Wayne in a straitjacket!"
At least the Duo have managed to revive Glee ("in the name of justice").
Robin: "Holy Frankenstein!"
Batman (rubbing his hands together): "Now the fun begins, Robin."
Alfred calls to inform him of O'Hara's presence, so Batman whispers his plan to his protege.
This plan does involve Bruce being taken away in a straitjacket to "Happy Acres". Alfred informs Robin, who in turn tells Alfred to again put on the site to drive the Batmobile.
Cut to Bruce riding with the anti-lunatic squad in a blue van painted black, as the Batmobile follows at ludicrous speed. Robin fires a Batray to open the doors, then uses the Batmagnet to pull him out, where Alfred has a spare suit for him instead of "this overly tailored jacket.". The clothing transformation behind a bush only takes three seconds, then the Duo are away.
Gordon is brought with the Duo to the bank as they tell Joker of Bruce's mentality, once again infuriating the Crown Prince to no mind.
Josie: "Joker, never mind, we've still got me and Brucie."
Suddenly Glee appears, calling her his wife.
Gordon: "So that's your game, aiding and abetting attempted bigamy!"
Meanwhile the robot tellers begin outright robbing the customers.
Batman: "Don't look at us, Joker. We just dropped in for that small Batcave improvement loan that you mentioned, but in view of the strange criminal activity that seems to be transpiring here..."
Joker verbally takes back control of the robots so they can have their fight.
Batman: "That's the trouble with robots, Robin. They lack even the most minimal sense of loyalty."
Cue Joker's ridiculous looking stunt double once again engaging with the others. His wig doesn't even match!
Robin: "It was all a bluff, Joker. We didn't have one darn thing on you until you ordered those robots to try to kill us."
The Bros wonder if there was any villainous plan at all since things were all over the place.
Josie: "Batman, if ever you see Bruce Wayne, tell him...tell him it might have been fun."
Vince still does not like the women being older than they appear to be, and at 30 years old too.
RD: "When you worked with any women in wrestling did you ever tell them that at 30 years old you're too old?"
Vince gives her some points for "a nice clev-age shot" but it's still only a "kind" 6.5 Batpoles. RD also gave her 6.5 for being "completely average in every way".
Phyllis Douglas was the daughter of the well known assistant director Ridgeway Callow, whose work on Gone With The Wind gave her an appearance at just two years old as Bonnie Blue Butler. Her work was mostly in the 50s and 60s, leaving the industry for real estate until her passing (in 2010).
The Bros once again mock McMahon for trying to look like Clark Gable. Although I'm sure he (frankly) would not give a damn.
At the Office, Dr. Floyd gives Bruce a physical examination to determine that he is in fact totally recovered. (:71) "Without doubt, the bump on the head when he accidentally fell from the paddy wagon restored him among us sane peoples. If only I could make a similar examination of the head from the Fledermaus Mensch."
Gordon: "The brain of Batman, oh, miraculous!"
Bruce: "I'll make you a bet, doctor. If you were to have the opportunity to study Batman's brain with all its myriad flaws. I think you'd find it not terribly unlike my own."
O'Hara: "Mother of mercy, get the smelling salts! Mr. Wayne is having a relapse!"
The Bros found the story lacking, even with a German doctor. RD is reminded of Bobby Heenan doing a similar skit.
Reminder: WrestleCrap has been going on for 23 years now.
Instead of watching the next story (of Catwoman), the Duo are to instead go over 79's Legends of the Superheroes. RD also plans to visit Vince in Colorado by then.
- Special Guest Villain: The Joker [7] (Cesar Romero) [7]
- SPEAKING OFs: 2. Bad, The fuzz
- Blue Van: 1. (Black)
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