Legends of the Superheroes (1979)
"A
teamup of some of DC Comics' greatest superheroes together, for 2
specials: a race to stop the united supervillains' plot to destroy the
earth, then later a roast in tribute to all of the heroes hosted by Ed
McMahon."
The Challenge
"The
superheroes only have one hour to find Dr. Silvana's Doomsday Machine
before it destroys all life on Earth. Their only leads are clues left by
the arch villains, each one of which might be a trap."
49 minutes
RD is Not 4'6" since he is no longer in Vince's studio. He puts over Vince's old man. Vince puts over RD's muscles.
RD wonders why the villains want to get rid of everyone else. Vince wonders if they had any women to accompany them besides Giganta. Also they were supposedly going to lure the Justice League with a riddle. Also the Justice League was supposed to meet up at a gas station.
Instead we have the Dynamic Duo in a breaking apart fake Batcycle after running away. RD: "Maybe they should have renamed Robin Chicken."
Back at the gas station "Women in Phone Booth" watches Hawkman fighting and getting beat up by Solomon Grundy who ties him to a forklift. (:11)
Black Canary then makes her entrance on her motorcycle in a very curvaceous look. Grundy defeats her and also ties her to the forklift.
In the Lair Riddler has now changed into a Great War fighter pilot for some reason.
Riddler: "If Shakespeare had had my mind, there's no telling how far he might have gone."
He might even rename himself the Puzzler!
Then back to...footage of Captain Marvel "flying" (in the most generous use of the term). Then cut to Huntress running through a park. Then cut to Marvel just walking. He reads some signs making him doubt himself. This summons Riddler dressed still as a fighter pilot as a psychiatrist with a beard and random British accent.
Vince reads the IMDB pages for some reason. His reading of one confuses RD fleetingly.
Marvel tells about his problems while he and Riddler are in the woods. All of a sudden Riddler becomes Yosemite Sam.
All of a sudden Vince finds a print ad for casting for the special. Oddly, while Superman and Wonder Woman could not be included due to rights issues, Aquaman could - but he wasn't.
Anyway, this is all part of Riddler's plan to relay the Lair's location (in a lake) rather than just telling him outright. Marvel figures it out anyway, and goes to the gas station to challenge Grundy in...tire throwing. (:23) Actually since they threw really far, Marvel uses the distance to send Grundy off to 'check', thus winning by default. He unties his two colleagues.
Woman in Phone Booth somehow knows that they want a lake and where it is. Canary uses her power of...shouting really loudly to draw in the others.
Everyone gathers at the lake, annoying Mordru to no end. RD: "You wanted them to find you!" (:25)
So Mordru unleashes his secret weapon...a lemonade stand.
Of course the heroes trustingly and openly drink some. Well actually there is a reason. It's even worse.
Sivana: "Lemonade, mister? Only five cents a glass!"
Marvel: "I don't have time for that now, son."
Sivana: "Oh please sir, please. My ma is sick, and I'm raising my brother and
sister, and were gonna get evicted tomorrow and my father's in jail and
my grandma croaked and they wouldn't bury my grandma until I come up
with the money."
Marvel: "Alright, here. Keep the change."
The heroes are thus unaware of the secret ingredient that would dampen their superpowers. Unless they actually knew but did it deliberately to themselves to make a fair fight.
The Dynamic Duo don't have any so they just drive straight into the lake which somehow puts them on jet skis. Mordru gets his own jet skis, some disco music plays on the soundtrack, Flash gets a canoe, Lantern and Marvel get rowing, and the women have...a paddle boat.
Everyone is conveniently at last in the Lair.
Riddler: "Gentlemen: we've had our fun, the game is done, the heroes we've
outclassed./It proves what we've always said: nice guys finish last."
The villains decide to have celebratory martinis...with the secret ingredient inside it. Unless they actually knew but did it deliberately to themselves because they're all idiots.
Cue what RD considers the worst fight he ever did see because everyone is just fighting normally, despite Robin going on all fours for a schoolboy trip. Of course the heroes stop the device (to applause) and defeat their foes and Batman carries Riddler on his shoulders.
"Hours later" Retired Man tries to fly away...but he's so old he cannot.
The End.
Vince did not see the Roast because his disc has a bug preventing him from playing it. He wonders why in the ads for that West and Ward did not get much promotion beyond a small byline. (:32)
However Vince wants to go back to the regular series for a bit first since he didn't really like it. He wonders what West would want from this appearance (besides money and a chance to revive Batman). RD ascertains that for Vince to open his "tape world" CD Warehouse it too would take a lot of money.
RD checked to be sure that Laugh-In was around his time.
RD is overseeing big rotational changes to the Arcade.
- Special Guest Villain: The Riddler [6+1] (Frank Gorshin) [5+1]
- Screen Shares: 2. Vince, Vince
- SPEAKING OFs: 1. Shouting
- Window Celebrity: 2. Jeff Altman, Marsha Warfield
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