WrestleCrap Fan Fiction Theatre Episode 13: Roman ran his hands through the fur of the German

Roman ran his hands through the fur of the German
As narrated by Sir Alec Heineken

Roman ran his hands through the fur of the German Shepard puppy gently, attempting to calm the scared animal. “Shh.” He whispered. “Seth will be here soon and you won’t believe how excited he’ll be to see you.”

Just then, the front door of their shared home opened. Roman heard Seth kick off his shoes and his footsteps began to echo throughout the house. 

"Seth!" Roman called. "I got you an early Christmas present. C’mere."

"Roman, can’t my present wait until Christmas Eve? I don’t like early presents." Seth said as he came walking to the living room.

"You’ll love this one. I promise." Roman said. As soon as he heard Seth was near the room, he sat the puppy down on the floor. The puppy quickly began to run around.

As soon as Seth walked into the room, the puppy ran toward him and started to try and play with his feet. Seth looked down at the puppy and then up at Roman, his eyes wide. “Roman, did you get me a puppy?” He asked, bending down to scoop the puppy up in his arms.

The puppy happily licked his face and Seth smiled. Roman smiled seeing Seth smiled as he slowly nodded his head. “Yes, I did. It’s a boy. I didn’t name him. I know you love animals so I figured I’d get you one.” He smiled.

Seth walked over to Roman and hugged him tightly, planting a soft kiss on his lips. “You’re the best, Roman.”

"Anything for you, baby." Roman said, kissing him back softly. "So what’s his name?"

Seth looked down at the puppy and then back up at Roman. “His name is Elf.”

The End.

Episode 33: Fun In The Sunny: December 24, 2014

“His name is Elf.”

79 minutes
((( recorded in wavering modularity)))

Blade threatens to summon Mike Check back onto the airwaves.

Having missed Black Friday...again...the Co-Fruitcakes attempt to combine that into this week's proceedings. This results in Blade getting sick. This results in RD wondering about their 200 listeners.

Even in this day and age people listen to the progrem without knowing anything about the site. At least that's what RD claims and Blade agrees to by talking with the mythical contingent that is the "female listeners". (:05)

Blade wants a ChimpTrolla. He also saw a movie where the Mexican Santa Claus played a villainous mad scientist. He repeats his story of finding a knock-off Santa Claus VHS tape where Santa fought dead air. (:08) RD talks about his latest induction of Jingle All The Way where Ahnald had to deal with an annoying young-er Anakin Skywalker. Blade lies by saying he is not drunk in believing that Episode I wasn't that bad and wondering what Yoda's son would be called. [Baby Yoda?...Nah, that won't work. Too unoriginal. - Future PB]

:19 RD can't really go Black Friday-ing any longer due to stores now also being open on Thanksgiving too and being used as an excuse for people to run away from family gatherings. But he and Mrs. Deal went anyway. At Meijer's his traditional Blu-Ray changer costs 6 times the regular price, so he's forced to enter 2014 and do his stuff digitally. While trying to find Man of Steel, he saw a hillbilly family not needing no more Karate Kid Klan, especially not ones starring a 'girl', 'chink', or 'Will Smith'. Or maybe even all three at once. (:30)

The FaxTrolla fires up for some well needed Obscure Wrestling News. Well I'm just glad they still have that plugged in just in case it's ever needed. It may need some servicing though. (:35) Not Obscure Wrestling News: Blade remembers old and random hate mail he accidentally found the other day. Obscure Sad News: Uncle Burt Reynolds is broke and is auctioning off his WM jacket (Well, he was: It sold for nearly $900, a bargain at half the price.). The auction listing site is a literal goldmine for some really fascinating stuff, including a true beauty, his Smokey and the Bandit Pontiac Trans Am. [It sold for $500,000, the highest of all the lots by far and easily above its estimated price.] 

Matt Hardy is an expectant father. (:47)

Trish Stratus is in some ballet adaptation of The Nutcracker doing something or other. (:50) She also sells her own tea for some reason (named after her son Maximus). Also for some reason Mickie James has named her child...Don.

Blade listened to a Ross Report where some listener remarks how close by his angry doppelganger is. (:55) The phone expectantly rings - but instead it's Sir Alec (:58) causing Blade to crack up for some reason. He reads a story about Roman Reigns buying a puppy for Seth Rollins for some reason. This causes Blade to laugh for some reason.

:67 Blade 'gifts' RD with Mike Check music and a segment that he's sure to forget about about having "Fun With Tammy". This just involves the two going through her Wish List. Again. RD gifts Blade a Bossk mask and gloves for Sunny to use.

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• Black Friday/Christmas
  
• The RD & Blade Show Sponsors: 1. WrestleCrap.com
• SPEAKING OFs: 7. Congested, glory days, Sivi Afi, things you may enjoy, Trish, listening to podcasts/radio programs, Sunny Skype sessions.
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 1. 35 year old wrestler impressions

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 1. Sir Alec Heineken

 

• F-Bombs: 1. Blade

 

• Blade Time Outs: 8
• Entertain the People: 1
  
• WrestleCrap Gongs: 1
  

 

• Debut: Fun With Tammy

 

Return of the FaxtTrolla

  

• Erik Majorwitz’s Hindsight Haiku: A Reynolds fallin’ on hard times:
  Poor ol’ Uncle Burt.
  Islanders jacket for sale.
  Son of a scum-bum!

 

WCR Video: Minisode Flashback #088: Merry Xmas, Johnny Six!

Wrestlecrap Radio's RD Reynolds recently appeared on Episode #35 of "Rowdy" Roddy Piper's podcast "Piper's Pit" where (*spoiler alert*) Piper mentions that WWE was almost thrown off the USA network because of complaints from viewers who's children were upset that he had beat up Santa Claus (although it was obviously Bobby Heenan) on National TV.

Although the above paragraph has nothing really to do with this video, RD did bring up Piper's Halloween PSAs on the show, and speaking of "PSAs", this WCR Minisode (from WCR episode #88, December 21, 2007) does feature a few of Piper's PSAs for Christmas. And also relive Chris Engler singing the Trolla Corporation's version of Jingle Bells & the debut of Johnny 6:



(by wcrminisodes)

And be sure to visit here for the archives (or for more "minisodes" go here.)

...And Merry Christmas from wrestlecrapradio.blogspot.com everyone! Ana a "Oh Baby Jesus!"

WCR Video: The "Original" Don...Don Mason Boogie (Interactive)

Since this video was referenced in RD and Blade's 9th Anniversary show, where Deal and Blade talked about wanting to get Tammy "Sunny" Sytch to wear the Scaleface mask and do the Don...Don Mason dance on Skype (and also since I also never posted the actual clip on WCR Videos before), here's the "original" Don Mason Boogie as uploaded by Blade Braxton:



Now you've seen the video; so here's the Don Mason Boogie...with added commentary from Wrestlecrap Radio Episode #133.



And be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives!

Episode 32: Nine Years Of This & That, Bro!: November 26, 2014

Cue RD making "tapping noise" effect.

86 minutes

by R.V.M Kai

It's the show's 9th Anniversary (...3 months late) once you get around The Fabulous Freebirds' rendition of Thin Lizzy's "The Boys are Back In Town". [Even weirder, it's not Mike Check's doing. He'll come later - PB]

Blade: "I sit around and, you know, we're getting older, so we forget things and we ramble and we mumble -"
RD: "That never happened in the early days, no."

"Two middle fingers up!"

It also seems that the new and "classic" progrems have merged since into some sort of weird hybrid; the theme songs and sound effects made a return, and Blade tells his Trip To The Grocery Plasma Center where he overheard two marks thinking that that one guy in Guardians of The Galaxy was Steve Austin. (:10).

RD shills his interview sparring session with Vince Russo (or "Vic Bro" as they call him) on his podcast "The Swerve" at pyroandballyhoo.com over his 10 year Anniversary Edition of The Death of WCW (buy it now!) (:13). It was so dramatic an interview that it needed a trailer for some reason, but at least the two parted amicably. Blade cannot shill properly because he is thinking about a random Nitro Girl.

RD DID go to the Grocery to find his old flame: Little Debbie Christmas Cakes. (:23)

Speaking of women on Blade's mind, he managed to speak with his idol and Sharknado 2 star Kari Wuhrer. She eats Honey Combs. (:25 - 30)

[Speaking for myself, I've always had a crush on her for two things. 

Ahem.

There was that old TV show Sliders (alongside John Rhys-Davies, another always memorable legend), and when she was Allied Special Agent Tanya Adams in Command & Conquer: Red Alert 2. That game was and still is a blast. The arcade style gameplay? Ray Wise as the US President? Udo Kier as an evil Transylvanian psychic? Barry Corbin as a ridiculously charming (even if Texan) general? The always awesome Frank Klepacki's music behind all of it? I could go on and on but you get the idea. It's actually where I got my original username from, it's so fond to me. 

Also, she was a far better Tanya than her successor...Jenny McCarthy. Yes, really. I'm surprised they didn't replace her bullets with vaccine syringes. - PB]

If this doesn't persuade you to
give it a look...I don't know.

The two skip Obscure Wrestling News and get stuck into some Current Wresting News instead; Mickie James liking to have babies (cue the HorseTrolla), Sting returning and doing This & That at WWE Survivor Series (though sadly not bringing his bird with him), and Tammy "Sunny" Sytch hitting a new low by doing nude Skype chats for money. [I like how in that linked article the "editor" is as speechless as I am. - PB] They also wish they could have Tammy do one wearing the Scaleface mask and dancing like Don for 10 minutes [or perhaps six fucking hours long?] a la this famous video (:31).

The naming of Jim Ross summons him on air. He 'shills' his return to wrestling commentary for New Japan's Wrestle Kingdom 9, which is sadly not sponsored by New Coke. He then talks about hiring 80 year old former NWA/WCW announcer Bob Caudle to help sell turkeys from the back of a truck for Trucksgiving. Bob sounds an awful lot like John Thomas. (:49)

The Co-Fruitcakes read emails and tweets from the 12 Listeners concerning their obscure Wrestlecrap Radio memories. They have no recollection of half of them. Speaking of "obscurity", Viewing Booth Bill Cosby calls and mumbles incoherently, as usual, for some reason. At least he has his own theme music now. A few more minutes of airtime and he may actually become a full fledged character. (:61)

Mike Check tunes in and surprises everyone with some Sad News. It seems that ole Mike has fallen on hard times due to his recent lack of success in the radio business, so he now has to drive the "choo-choo train" at Disney World to make a living. [I thought the Sad News was how he was so out of prison the Co-Fruitcakes don't have a proper explanation for it. He just 'is'. - PB] He also, in a throwback to his days as TNA Correspondent, plays the song "Golden Dream" in honor of Impact moving to Destination America (:70).

The 9th Anniversary debacle ends with the return of Blade Braxton's Weekly Haiku.

Let's See Here:
Nine Years of Podcasts.
I still cant believe one thing:
Joyce Dewitt still lives.

....BRO! 

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• 9 Years!
  
• The RD & Blade Show Sponsors: 4. WrestleCrap.com, Death of WCW 10th Anniversary Edition, Drive In Movie Maniacs, JCCC Website
• SPEAKING OFs: 8. Black Friday, Halloween, name dropping, Sunny, flow charts, flow, getting old, class.

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 4. Kari Wuhrer,  Jim, Bob Caudle, Bill Cosby, Mike Check

 

• F-Bombs: 5. Blade, Kari Wuhrer (2), Blade (3), Jim

 

• Blade Time Outs: 4 (3 Real Quick)
• RD Time Outs: 2 (2 Real Quick)
  
• Blade Burps: 1
  
• Cricket Chirps:  1

 

The TRIP to the (blank) returns with music as do the crickets, the HorseTrolla, current wrestling news, Mike Check, and the sad news music. 

 

• Mike Check Radio Row: 
• Station/Market:  N/A
• Radio Call Sign:  N/A
• Show:  N/A
• Song:  "Golden Dream" by Disney

 

Mike isn’t in the business anymore.

Wait what, the haiku is back?

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
  Nine Years of Podcasts.
  I still cant believe one thing:
  Joyce Dewitt still lives.
  

 

• Erik Majorwitz’s Hindsight Haiku: A fantasy fulfilled for Blade?
  Celeb cereal pick?
  Kari hates the marshmallows!
  Controls Blade’s remote?