We've been fucking swerved! That wasn't even a true wrestling fan-fiction made story at all!!! Here, read this and notice if there are any 'similarities'.
http://www.werewolfpage.com/short_stories/thewerewolf.htm
143 The 2009 WCR Draft: April 24, 2009
The 2009 WCR Draft
77 minutes
I've been a WCR Co-Historian for eight months now and this is probably the hardest time I've listened to an episode for the first time, only to have it greatly improve on later listening. (unless Iggy convinces me otherwise of course, as he normally does). In fact I'd say this is as bad as the Canadiens losing in a sweep yesterday. But! I must press on, it would be a disservice to my post otherwise if I shirked at my duties. (Well, to Iggy and the 11 others anyway.) [I think there are about 24 others, meaning 12 people would rather read your recap than listen to the show. --Iggy]
Today is the day for the WCR 2009 Draft. Play along at home, won't you?
Image created by KingSuperSpecial
Blade is thankful he's not involved with the TNA business so he can keep his life. Our first draft is made...and Angry Jim Ross is drafted to the show's laugh track! (:03) "Kneeslapper! Kneeslapper!" Not long after a Falsetto RD, I mean "Dixie Carter" is drated to promotional consideration/shilling. (:08) dixiecartergurglesjimrosssmeat.com has not yet been taken.
Gay Popeye (as a Jewish Jersey man) drafted to the TRIP (:12), but I have no idea what he said from his terrible accent, apart from something about spinach. [Commentary video]
In some sort of redemptive movement Mike Check is drafted to the Fan Fiction Theater (:18) JR engages him slightly. This week, Batista becomes a literal animal by transforming into a werewolf. Or actually he does, if the story were actually real (see the above episode.) Unfortunately to the Co-Fruitcakes he takes TOO long and they turn down his volume for the time being.
Obscure Wrestling News. Billy Graham has been fired from WWE, even though the only thing he did is stay at home and collect their money. Sadly only Lanno Poffo can pull that off and get away with it. (:24) His daemonic letter is referenced.
Blade's Chocolate Surprise. JR: "Another good joke, Blade!" Tammy Sytch is auctioning a random dress for "Valentine's Day" Susan St. James is drafted to the Crickets position. (:32) Midnight Rose is seeking trainees for some Garden or other. Mike Check is still recording his Book on Tape (:36) but he does have time to mention some hairiest lumberjack contest in Moose Creek, Ontario.
Question of the Week (:42) once more from UltimateKennedy: something about the Honky Tonk Man as James Taylor. The Crickets are drafted to answer.
For some strange reason the Co-Fruitcakes want some Interactivity, so Stubby is drafted to answer the call, JR engaging him. He thus gives us the opportunity of Some random video of...webcam sluts dancing to Pour Some Sugar On Me. (And Don...Don Mason dyed his elderly girlfriend pink.) I hear this is how Blade normally spends his evenings. The shark-jumped show has just stopped in its tracks I won't provide the link (but someone else might!) so watch this instead: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lfGpVcdqeS0 You're welcome. [It WAS here. Here's the commentary video from TNCW. --Iggy]
Mike Check is still in his Shakespeare recital but even HE has enough of it all. (:54) He leaves with Warren Zevon's Werewolves of London.
Sure enough, Sir Alec has drafted to TNA to fill Mike's place. (:58) Of course he is worried of dying too. He reveals that Mick Foley is the new TNA champion. He knows more about TNA than anyone, according to RD. Paul London was fired too. JR engages him too. Battle of the accents! Unfortunately Alec can't stay long, he and his audience leave for fish and chips. But he does reveal he was a smooth criminal in his younger days. I'm sure it's just nothing of note.
For no other reason other than it's in the script (what script?) RD calls some Ratings Reaper. (:65) Sadly the recession and improved ratings of the WWE has made him unemployed. He also sounds like an encrypted Blade sounding like an encrypted John Thomas, perhaps he works for him secretly? Looks like a mystery solved to the amusement of NO ONE. Oh boy...
Current Wrestling News. Hulk Hogan understands OJ. (:71) The Fruitcakes acknowledge the show's tailspin this late into the fine radio progrem. I have a headache listening to all this.
Seventeen easy-to-digest syllables by (drafted) Lord Alfred Hayes:
Pruh-omotional
consideration paid for
by the following.
Jim Ross: Shove it up your fucking ass!
You wouldn't get this from any other guy,
PB
77 minutes
I've been a WCR Co-Historian for eight months now and this is probably the hardest time I've listened to an episode for the first time, only to have it greatly improve on later listening. (unless Iggy convinces me otherwise of course, as he normally does). In fact I'd say this is as bad as the Canadiens losing in a sweep yesterday. But! I must press on, it would be a disservice to my post otherwise if I shirked at my duties. (Well, to Iggy and the 11 others anyway.) [I think there are about 24 others, meaning 12 people would rather read your recap than listen to the show. --Iggy]
Today is the day for the WCR 2009 Draft. Play along at home, won't you?
Image created by KingSuperSpecial
Blade is thankful he's not involved with the TNA business so he can keep his life. Our first draft is made...and Angry Jim Ross is drafted to the show's laugh track! (:03) "Kneeslapper! Kneeslapper!" Not long after a Falsetto RD, I mean "Dixie Carter" is drated to promotional consideration/shilling. (:08) dixiecartergurglesjimrosssmeat.com has not yet been taken.
Gay Popeye (as a Jewish Jersey man) drafted to the TRIP (:12), but I have no idea what he said from his terrible accent, apart from something about spinach. [Commentary video]
In some sort of redemptive movement Mike Check is drafted to the Fan Fiction Theater (:18) JR engages him slightly. This week, Batista becomes a literal animal by transforming into a werewolf. Or actually he does, if the story were actually real (see the above episode.) Unfortunately to the Co-Fruitcakes he takes TOO long and they turn down his volume for the time being.
Obscure Wrestling News. Billy Graham has been fired from WWE, even though the only thing he did is stay at home and collect their money. Sadly only Lanno Poffo can pull that off and get away with it. (:24) His daemonic letter is referenced.
Blade's Chocolate Surprise. JR: "Another good joke, Blade!" Tammy Sytch is auctioning a random dress for "Valentine's Day" Susan St. James is drafted to the Crickets position. (:32) Midnight Rose is seeking trainees for some Garden or other. Mike Check is still recording his Book on Tape (:36) but he does have time to mention some hairiest lumberjack contest in Moose Creek, Ontario.
Question of the Week (:42) once more from UltimateKennedy: something about the Honky Tonk Man as James Taylor. The Crickets are drafted to answer.
For some strange reason the Co-Fruitcakes want some Interactivity, so Stubby is drafted to answer the call, JR engaging him. He thus gives us the opportunity of Some random video of...webcam sluts dancing to Pour Some Sugar On Me. (And Don...Don Mason dyed his elderly girlfriend pink.) I hear this is how Blade normally spends his evenings. The shark-jumped show has just stopped in its tracks I won't provide the link (but someone else might!) so watch this instead: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lfGpVcdqeS0 You're welcome. [It WAS here. Here's the commentary video from TNCW. --Iggy]
Mike Check is still in his Shakespeare recital but even HE has enough of it all. (:54) He leaves with Warren Zevon's Werewolves of London.
Sure enough, Sir Alec has drafted to TNA to fill Mike's place. (:58) Of course he is worried of dying too. He reveals that Mick Foley is the new TNA champion. He knows more about TNA than anyone, according to RD. Paul London was fired too. JR engages him too. Battle of the accents! Unfortunately Alec can't stay long, he and his audience leave for fish and chips. But he does reveal he was a smooth criminal in his younger days. I'm sure it's just nothing of note.
For no other reason other than it's in the script (what script?) RD calls some Ratings Reaper. (:65) Sadly the recession and improved ratings of the WWE has made him unemployed. He also sounds like an encrypted Blade sounding like an encrypted John Thomas, perhaps he works for him secretly? Looks like a mystery solved to the amusement of NO ONE. Oh boy...
Current Wrestling News. Hulk Hogan understands OJ. (:71) The Fruitcakes acknowledge the show's tailspin this late into the fine radio progrem. I have a headache listening to all this.
Seventeen easy-to-digest syllables by (drafted) Lord Alfred Hayes:
Pruh-omotional
consideration paid for
by the following.
Jim Ross: Shove it up your fucking ass!
You wouldn't get this from any other guy,
PB
WrestleCrap Fan Fiction Theatre Episode 6: "Sunny's Zoo Adventure"
http://www.wowefa.com/stories/SunnysZooAdventure.txt
Tammy Stych A. K. A. Sunny had just made her ECW arena debut. She didn't disappoint the fans. She came to ringside wearing a see-thru silk robe and a thong bikini. She walked into the ring lifted up her robe and bent over to give the fans a thrill. She was now without a doubt the most popular personality in the organization.
The other girls Francine and Dawn Marie, wanted to take her out to welcome her. They planned the whole day together. Francine suggested that they go get a couple of drinks and go to the zoo. Dawn Marie was new to the area and had never been. Tammy agreed.
They arrived at the zoo about an hour before closing and it was almost deserted. It was a small zoo and really didn't have any major animals. They walked around for a while. The last stop they made was the monkey cage.
They were watching the gorilla's when one of them started to masturbate in front of the girls. It was the wildest thing they had ever seen and they started to laugh hysterically. That caused the gorilla to stop. The girls were disappointed, they started to coo and whisper to the gorilla to get him to start again. They tried to bribe the gorilla with a banana to keep going but it wouldn't.
Francine told Sunny "I'll bet you 200 dollars that you can't make that ape
start to masturbate."
Tammy took the bet. Tammy started to shake her tits at the apes but nothing happened.
Francine told her "You have to do better than that."
Tammy was becoming determined to win the bet so she took of her top. It still didn't work so she took off her pants.
Francine was egging her on, "Is that the best you can do?"
Tammy grabbed a banana and started to suck on it. Now all the gorillas were watching and they all had erections. All the apes had cocks a little bigger than the average male, about 8 inches.
Francine said, "You have to get closer so they can smell you." Tammy climbed over the safety rail and put her cute ass against the cage.
Dawn staggered over next to Francine and they grabbed Tammy. They pinned her arms against the cage. "You are not going to take my place in the triple threat." Francine snarled.
The zoo attendant came from behind the cage. He had the key and unlocked the cage. The girls pushed the hot Tammy in the cage with 4 horny apes.
Tammy fell and the first ape bounced on her. He grabbed her Breast and started to squeeze. He started to tug and pull at her.
Francine and Dawn didn't want Tammy to get hurt so they both stripped. They started to shower in their honeypots until the other three apes came over to the cage and started trying to grab them.
The first ape slammed his dong into Sunny's poop-hole with wild abandon. He had no idea he was in her brown-eye and he didn't care. He lifted her up and started running around the cage with her impaled on his cock. Each step he took made his cock go in further. Tammy was scared she would be stuck. Wanting it to cease, she looked down at the ape and muttered the only sentence of gorilla language she knew.
"Will you stop?"
The end.
Tammy Stych A. K. A. Sunny had just made her ECW arena debut. She didn't disappoint the fans. She came to ringside wearing a see-thru silk robe and a thong bikini. She walked into the ring lifted up her robe and bent over to give the fans a thrill. She was now without a doubt the most popular personality in the organization.
The other girls Francine and Dawn Marie, wanted to take her out to welcome her. They planned the whole day together. Francine suggested that they go get a couple of drinks and go to the zoo. Dawn Marie was new to the area and had never been. Tammy agreed.
They arrived at the zoo about an hour before closing and it was almost deserted. It was a small zoo and really didn't have any major animals. They walked around for a while. The last stop they made was the monkey cage.
They were watching the gorilla's when one of them started to masturbate in front of the girls. It was the wildest thing they had ever seen and they started to laugh hysterically. That caused the gorilla to stop. The girls were disappointed, they started to coo and whisper to the gorilla to get him to start again. They tried to bribe the gorilla with a banana to keep going but it wouldn't.
Francine told Sunny "I'll bet you 200 dollars that you can't make that ape
start to masturbate."
Tammy took the bet. Tammy started to shake her tits at the apes but nothing happened.
Francine told her "You have to do better than that."
Tammy was becoming determined to win the bet so she took of her top. It still didn't work so she took off her pants.
Francine was egging her on, "Is that the best you can do?"
Tammy grabbed a banana and started to suck on it. Now all the gorillas were watching and they all had erections. All the apes had cocks a little bigger than the average male, about 8 inches.
Francine said, "You have to get closer so they can smell you." Tammy climbed over the safety rail and put her cute ass against the cage.
Dawn staggered over next to Francine and they grabbed Tammy. They pinned her arms against the cage. "You are not going to take my place in the triple threat." Francine snarled.
The zoo attendant came from behind the cage. He had the key and unlocked the cage. The girls pushed the hot Tammy in the cage with 4 horny apes.
Tammy fell and the first ape bounced on her. He grabbed her Breast and started to squeeze. He started to tug and pull at her.
Francine and Dawn didn't want Tammy to get hurt so they both stripped. They started to shower in their honeypots until the other three apes came over to the cage and started trying to grab them.
The first ape slammed his dong into Sunny's poop-hole with wild abandon. He had no idea he was in her brown-eye and he didn't care. He lifted her up and started running around the cage with her impaled on his cock. Each step he took made his cock go in further. Tammy was scared she would be stuck. Wanting it to cease, she looked down at the ape and muttered the only sentence of gorilla language she knew.
"Will you stop?"
The end.
142 Wrestlemania XXV: After the Final Pinfall: April 10, 2009
Wrestlemania XXV: After the Final Pinfall
83 minutes
The two Co-Hostess Fruitcakes permeate about the just occured Wrestlemania XXV this week, as if this is actually some official wrestling podcast like the ones Dave and Bryan talk about. There's some discussion of Ricky Steamboat's cameo return to the ring. Blade wants his chiropractor for the show, but oddly for him doesn't commence his usual mockery of cripples. Something about geriatric wrestling (which should automatically include Vince). Roddy Piper was seen with what looked like a chestburster in his stomach. Perhaps he ate too much alien ham. (:06) Could Dave Meltzer appear on the show as a chiropractor? Globalinternet.net's Greg drinking is imagined.
RD's TRIP to the Grocery is no trip at all, but IS sponsored by angrymarks.com. (:12) They sent him some package, containing some Lashley figure, some Wu Tang collection, a Lucha VHS, Summerslam's Greatest Hits, some Candace Michelle figure, a Tootsie Roll Bank, and some "Late Night Tacos at Midnight" Doritos. The two taste it and conclude it tastes like taco seasoning. Well it could be worse, it could have had Mountain Dew flavor.
This week on WC FanFiction Theatre (:22), Sir Alec is saddened by not seeing Sunny at Wrestlemania, so he narrates a story of Miss Sytch getting it on with a monkey. Huh, that's all? That seems rather tame. She didn't fuck, say, a snake or a bird? Bah. (Later we're told there's more to the tale than that randomly cut out. Damn you Heineken!)
On Obscure Wrestling News (:32) JT Titty is pregnant. Blade: "It means she likes to fuck." With a name like that? No shit, Sherlock. Blade wants a BabyTrolla for the show. There's some negative anonymous review of the Book of Lists Exclamation Point (:36) The book is "Immature perverted and a waste of time." I like him already. Wrestlemania anniversaries. Craig DeGeorge is on Fox Sports and for some reason working with National Cheerleading Championships (if not with the more normal job with Florida Panthers). (:40). Blade Braxton's (naked) Mike McGurk story with Don Mason (with a bad impression of said Mike).
Some Dream Rapist Time, we haven't had this in too long a while. (:46) Blade dreams of Don Mason making Mickie James cry for not taking her picture properly, then finds Lillian Garcia eating hot dogs, and talks with Michael Cole about Heidenreich's sodomy. In Cole's words: "You know, it looked real but it didn't feel real!" They also share random stories of having sex with barely legal women before Mae Young wanders in for some reason.
Question of the Week (:52) concerns the upcoming new wrestling promotion Wrestlicious. The Co-Fruitcakes watch it. (it's also featured on the week's It Came From YouTube!) Could this be the new WSX? We also learn that the show, co-hosted-fruitcake by Leila "Naked Girl" Milani and Jimmy Hart, is funded by a Powerball winner. ("There are worse ways to try and get a date." - Clarence "Showstealer" Mason)
Mike Check (:61) talks about Danny Partridge, the Radio version of The Patridge Family and his time at WEBN 103 (The Spider) doing a terrible Mr Belvedere. He then does an example of it for us lucky 12 Listeners. He should do a face-off with Sir Alec, I think. Oddly that's all he talks about this week in his 10 minutes.
Current Wrestling News (:72) somewhat concerns WWE's bad time management. And this show is more efficient how...?
Time for a Haiku:
Skank Battle Royal.
You can't tell the boobs apart
without a scorecard.
RD: "Speaking of disposing of something like a dirty whore..."
Next Radio thing in two weeks. Until then,
PB
83 minutes
The two Co-Hostess Fruitcakes permeate about the just occured Wrestlemania XXV this week, as if this is actually some official wrestling podcast like the ones Dave and Bryan talk about. There's some discussion of Ricky Steamboat's cameo return to the ring. Blade wants his chiropractor for the show, but oddly for him doesn't commence his usual mockery of cripples. Something about geriatric wrestling (which should automatically include Vince). Roddy Piper was seen with what looked like a chestburster in his stomach. Perhaps he ate too much alien ham. (:06) Could Dave Meltzer appear on the show as a chiropractor? Globalinternet.net's Greg drinking is imagined.RD's TRIP to the Grocery is no trip at all, but IS sponsored by angrymarks.com. (:12) They sent him some package, containing some Lashley figure, some Wu Tang collection, a Lucha VHS, Summerslam's Greatest Hits, some Candace Michelle figure, a Tootsie Roll Bank, and some "Late Night Tacos at Midnight" Doritos. The two taste it and conclude it tastes like taco seasoning. Well it could be worse, it could have had Mountain Dew flavor.
This week on WC FanFiction Theatre (:22), Sir Alec is saddened by not seeing Sunny at Wrestlemania, so he narrates a story of Miss Sytch getting it on with a monkey. Huh, that's all? That seems rather tame. She didn't fuck, say, a snake or a bird? Bah. (Later we're told there's more to the tale than that randomly cut out. Damn you Heineken!)
On Obscure Wrestling News (:32) JT Titty is pregnant. Blade: "It means she likes to fuck." With a name like that? No shit, Sherlock. Blade wants a BabyTrolla for the show. There's some negative anonymous review of the Book of Lists Exclamation Point (:36) The book is "Immature perverted and a waste of time." I like him already. Wrestlemania anniversaries. Craig DeGeorge is on Fox Sports and for some reason working with National Cheerleading Championships (if not with the more normal job with Florida Panthers). (:40). Blade Braxton's (naked) Mike McGurk story with Don Mason (with a bad impression of said Mike).
Some Dream Rapist Time, we haven't had this in too long a while. (:46) Blade dreams of Don Mason making Mickie James cry for not taking her picture properly, then finds Lillian Garcia eating hot dogs, and talks with Michael Cole about Heidenreich's sodomy. In Cole's words: "You know, it looked real but it didn't feel real!" They also share random stories of having sex with barely legal women before Mae Young wanders in for some reason.
Question of the Week (:52) concerns the upcoming new wrestling promotion Wrestlicious. The Co-Fruitcakes watch it. (it's also featured on the week's It Came From YouTube!) Could this be the new WSX? We also learn that the show, co-hosted-fruitcake by Leila "Naked Girl" Milani and Jimmy Hart, is funded by a Powerball winner. ("There are worse ways to try and get a date." - Clarence "Showstealer" Mason)
Mike Check (:61) talks about Danny Partridge, the Radio version of The Patridge Family and his time at WEBN 103 (The Spider) doing a terrible Mr Belvedere. He then does an example of it for us lucky 12 Listeners. He should do a face-off with Sir Alec, I think. Oddly that's all he talks about this week in his 10 minutes.
Current Wrestling News (:72) somewhat concerns WWE's bad time management. And this show is more efficient how...?
Time for a Haiku:
Skank Battle Royal.
You can't tell the boobs apart
without a scorecard.
RD: "Speaking of disposing of something like a dirty whore..."
Next Radio thing in two weeks. Until then,
PB
WrestleCrap Fan Fiction Theatre Episode 5: "Frankie's Quest for Love"
Frankie's Quest for Love
Frankie sat atop his perch, lovesick and lonely. Would he ever find a soulmate?
He had sat on Koko's shoulder for hours as they browsed match.com in hopes his longtime friend could help him find somebody to mate with.
Frankie was very picky, but there were a few birds which caught his eye.
Pauly, Pauly, oh sweet pauly. Wow she was such a delectible feathered vixen. Frankie was concerned. It was rumored she wanted more that just a cracker. She was an insatiable sexpot, known for numerous orgies with huge flocks of robins and hummingbirds.
Frankie decided to pass on a potential tryst, as he didn't want to take the risk of getting any sexually-transmitted bird flu.
He needed somebody more wholesome, and who could fill that role better than Sesame Street's Big Bird? There was one catch, though. They were both males.
However, Frankie was not offended by homosexuality. In the Sixties, he had made love to many, many women, often outdoors, in the mud, in the rain. It was possible that a male slipped in. There'd be no way of knowing.
However, he was turned off by Big Bird's yellow feathers.
It reminded him of when he had yellow diahrrea and would have to stare at it, dried up and on the newspapers lining the bottom of his bird cage, because Koko was too lazy to clean it regularly.
Captain Morgan's parrot was an option, but alas, Frankie wanted nothing to do with an alcoholic parrot. It would bring back too many unpleasant memories of Koko stumbling in drunk after a weekend bender.
No, there was only one choice for Frankie: Toucan Sam. The rainbow-colored beak the Kellog's icon possessed made him randy. The mere thought of them sharing a naked breakfast in bed made him want to go choke his parrot.
There was only one dilemma. Would Frankie's dong fit into Sam's brown Froot Loop?
The End
Frankie sat atop his perch, lovesick and lonely. Would he ever find a soulmate?
He had sat on Koko's shoulder for hours as they browsed match.com in hopes his longtime friend could help him find somebody to mate with.
Frankie was very picky, but there were a few birds which caught his eye.
Pauly, Pauly, oh sweet pauly. Wow she was such a delectible feathered vixen. Frankie was concerned. It was rumored she wanted more that just a cracker. She was an insatiable sexpot, known for numerous orgies with huge flocks of robins and hummingbirds.
Frankie decided to pass on a potential tryst, as he didn't want to take the risk of getting any sexually-transmitted bird flu.
He needed somebody more wholesome, and who could fill that role better than Sesame Street's Big Bird? There was one catch, though. They were both males.
However, Frankie was not offended by homosexuality. In the Sixties, he had made love to many, many women, often outdoors, in the mud, in the rain. It was possible that a male slipped in. There'd be no way of knowing.
However, he was turned off by Big Bird's yellow feathers.
It reminded him of when he had yellow diahrrea and would have to stare at it, dried up and on the newspapers lining the bottom of his bird cage, because Koko was too lazy to clean it regularly.
Captain Morgan's parrot was an option, but alas, Frankie wanted nothing to do with an alcoholic parrot. It would bring back too many unpleasant memories of Koko stumbling in drunk after a weekend bender.
No, there was only one choice for Frankie: Toucan Sam. The rainbow-colored beak the Kellog's icon possessed made him randy. The mere thought of them sharing a naked breakfast in bed made him want to go choke his parrot.
There was only one dilemma. Would Frankie's dong fit into Sam's brown Froot Loop?
The End
(141) Koko Radio: April 1, 2009
Koko Radio
78 minutes
Mike Check as a Radio Correspondent! John Thomas and BM Punk call in! JR is still angry! BirdTrolla! Koko FanFiction Theater with a horny Frankie! Another Round in Year 4 of the Co-Hosss Contest! (0 for 2) Morris Day and the Time live! All this and the Piledriver song, right here on the most exciting episode of Koko Radio ever!!!
Seventeen Syllables to Koko:
Hall of Fame Koko.
Please don't rent a tux. Wear the
High Energy pants.
78 minutes
Mike Check as a Radio Correspondent! John Thomas and BM Punk call in! JR is still angry! BirdTrolla! Koko FanFiction Theater with a horny Frankie! Another Round in Year 4 of the Co-Hosss Contest! (0 for 2) Morris Day and the Time live! All this and the Piledriver song, right here on the most exciting episode of Koko Radio ever!!!Seventeen Syllables to Koko:
Hall of Fame Koko.
Please don't rent a tux. Wear the
High Energy pants.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
