WWE Total Divas Recap Episode 3: LOVE STINKS!!!

Before we go on with this torture fest we had some news coming out that E! is going to give "Total Divas" a complete season. Great.

Previously on Total Divas…

Episode 3: “Planet Funk is Funked Up” or “LOVE STINKS!!!”

We’re in San Diego as The Bellas are going out for lunch & Nikki admits to everybody in the world that she is in fact a dumbass! Nikki tries to explain to Bree that “Tree Cutters” doesn’t make sent but “Tree Trimmers” do. (RD: “*sigh* I told you all this would happen. This is the E! Network. They put out crap like this all the time. I feel stupider already by watching it.”) Bree has to prove Nikki wrong by Googling it &…Nikki’s right. (RD: “D’oh!”)

WWE Total Divas entrance. (RD: "Damn It! They made a long entrance now!")

Bree & Daniel Bryan are packing up getting ready to go on to the next stop so they decided to talk to the family bulldog via video chat. Bree & Daniel talked about the moving situation & they are moving to Phoenix so they can spend more time with family & the dog. Daniel brings up if Bree told Nikki about them moving, Bree’ silence tells us that she has not. Daniel tells Bree that she needs to tell Nikki.

Over to Tampa, FL at Naomi’s apartment where Naomi & Jimmy Uso are returning home from some time off the road. Naomi & Jimmy have some fun for a bit but then Naomi realizes that she left her engagement ring in the jewelry clean but Naomi tells us that she never wears the ring for professional reasons for fear of getting stolen or lost. (RD: “Uh…Oh!”) Jimmy’s not happy that Naomi took off her ring; Naomi said she forgot to get it out of the cleaner. So Jimmy put the ring back on Naomi’s hand & tells her please try & not to take the ring off.

Over to the NXT Training area where the NXT Divas are getting wrestling training drills from NXT Head Trainer Bill DeMott. DeMott has Eva Marie & JoJo wrestle for a bit in the ring & Eva Marie admits that JoJo’s ring skills are way better than hers. While doing Body Slam drills DeMott tells Eva Marie that she has to control her landing or else she’s going to get hurt which COINCIDENTALLY enough happens now when JoJo suffers a head injury after a nasty landing from a Body Slam. (RD: “Told you all that the Un-Divas are botchy.”) Looks like JoJo suffered a concussion & she’s benched from drills.

Naomi & Jimmy have dinner at a Mexican Restaurant & Jimmy brings up the issue of why Naomi doesn’t wear her engagement ring at work; Naomi brings up how WWE wants the Divas to look like they are single. (RD: “She is partly right. WWE also wants their wrestlers to look single as well. Still Jimmy has a good point there in the fact that Naomi can show that she’s still engaged & single. Big Show is a great example. That tape he has wrapped around his ring finger? That’s Big Show’s way to show that he’s married.”) Naomi defends her position by saying that when its work time she takes it off but still wears it when she’s off work which is something Jimmy takes offensive to. Naomi says that when they do get married that ring will stay on her finger. Jimmy accepts it for now.

Back to San Diego where The Bellas are in a gym & Bree wants to tell Nikki about moving to Phoenix. Nikki “Humble brags” yet again that she nailed John Cena last night & she has to look good to motivate herself while Bree looks like a mess. (RD: “No comment.”) Bree slowly tries to tell Nikki that she’s moving to Phoenix; Nikki doesn’t like it at all & blames Daniel for this. Bree defends Daniel saying that it’s not his idea but hers, Nikki gets offended thinking that Bree will drop everything they have in San Diego, Bree says that’s not going to happen, Nikki walks off pissed.

We’re back & Nikki’s going into a restaurant where Nikki says that she & Bree will meet a movie producer because they are going to star in their first movie. (RD: “The Bellas are going to be in a movie?!?!? Acting??!? If their acting is like their wrestling then…DEAR GOD ALMIGHTY NO!!!”) Nikki is the first to arrive & nobody’s there; Nikki calls Bree to see where she is & Bree completely spaced out on the meeting for today. Nikki is pissed that Bree is caring about family more than career. (RD: “Now Nikki not everybody can be a giant gold-digging whore.”) The Bellas’ manager & the movie producer arrived & Nikki blames Daniel for everything so far. Nikki tries to lie to cover for Bree but they aren’t buying it. While the producer is talking about doing stunts, Bree finally arrives just in time for Nikki to snark at her.

Back to Tampa & JoJo gets a visit from her boyfriend Sebastian because he’s worried about JoJo’s concussion. JoJo introduces Sebastian to Eva Marie & they take off to the beach.

Back to San Diego where The Bellas go to their personal trainer to work out some more. Bree tries to bring up the whole Phoenix moving thing but Nikki’s ignoring her. Bree tries to get Nikki involved with the move but Nikki’s doesn’t care.

Back to Tampa with the lovebirds of JoJo & Sebastian; JoJo tells Sebastian that she has to go to NXT practice today, Sebastian wants to spend more time with her. JoJo is stressed because she likes Sebastian but doesn’t want to choose between him & WWE. Sebastian basically says that he’s tired of waiting for her & decides to break up with JoJo. JoJo is crying that the break-up is happening as she sees Sebastian walk out of her life.

Back at Tampa in the NXT Training area as Naomi & Jimmy practice. Naomi says that Jimmy is a great person to train with. Naomi wants to add a Jumping Over-The-Top Leg Drop to her arsenal but she’s scared of doing it because she doesn’t want to hurt the Divas or in this instance Jimmy. DeMott gives her a little push so Naomi does the move after having some doubts. DeMott asks Naomi when did she get indecisive & needs some sense knocked into her. Jimmy tells DeMott that they are having problems with their engagement; Naomi is not happy bringing up private issues at work. Jimmy talks to Naomi about her indecisiveness on the engagement will affect her work & he needs to know now if they are going to get married. Naomi can’t come up with an answer because all she thinks about is work. Jimmy wants an answer, Naomi wants everything to work out, Jimmy’s not happy with what he hears.

MEANWHILE Eva Marie wants JoJo to talk about the break-up & JoJo sounds like she might quit WWE. Eva Marie doesn’t seem to understand what’s going on right now with JoJo. Eva Marie tries to be sympathetic with JoJo but JoJo admits that she doesn’t know when she’ll ever go home. Eva Marie thinks JoJo is acting a WEE bit selfish here.

Back to San Diego where Bree & Daniel are packing when Nikki decides to come over to actually help with the move & Daniel’s packing for RAW. Bree’s thinking of bringing one of the costumes for an upcoming PPV, Nikki doesn’t like Bree’s idea of an outfit because it give Nikki “Cameltoe” thanks to her new fake knockers & she says crotch a lot which makes Daniel REALLY uncomfortable. (RD: “I know what Daniel would say to end this conversation. He would say…)

Daniel & Bree continue to pack while Nikki just sits there & does nothing. While Daniel searches for some more stuff to pack; Nikki starts to complain over the whole move AGAIN! Bree calls out Nikki for being a bitch (RD: “Again!”) & being rude to show up & not work. Nikki responds saying that Bree was rude for being late for their meeting with the producer, Bree said that she did apologize & she’s not taking Nikki’s crap so if she’s not going to help then she needs to leave! The Bellas have a gigantic fight over the whole move with Nikki thinking it’s stupid to move for a dog while Bree thinks Nikki’s acting childish. Nikki calls them ungrateful & takes off. (RD: “Ungrateful?!? Coming from the next Michelle McCool who’s sleeping her way to the top?!? You have got to be kidding me here! Ungrateful! Sheesh!”)

We’re back in Tampa & at the NXT Training area where DeMott has Eva Marie & a few Un-Divas running drills. JoJo arrives but she has to sit in the audience area due to her recovering from a concussion. Natalya soon arrives (RD: “Natalya debuts at the halfway mark? Really?”) to give the Un-Divas pointers. Natalya soon notices JoJo just sitting there & doing nothing so she pulls JoJo aside for a little girl talk. JoJo brings up her boy problems as of late, Natalya explains that Sebastian must make some compromise for JoJo since she’s only going to get one shot in WWE & that she’s might not be able to make it with Sebastian & the WWE together & Natalya thinks Sebastian can’t take JoJo’s desire to be a WWE Diva. JoJo can’t take what Natalya just said so she storms out of the NXT Training area; Natalya follows her & tells her that she’s trying to be honest with JoJo. JoJo says that right now she’s literally torn between two loves.

Back in San Diego as we catch Nikki & John Cena are driving. Cena notices Nikki spotting a blemish on her face. The both of them joke about it. Nikki tells Cena how she had a fight with Bree & Daniel, Cena sounds like he’s supporting Daniel & Bree on this one.

Nikki says that Daniel is taking Bree away from her; Cena calls Nikki selfish (RD: ”On a personality gold digger like Nikki the word ‘selfish’ does fit here.”) & defends Daniel & says that Nikki was just lashing out in anger & fear of losing Bree. Nikki realized what she did was wrong & both of them go lovey-dovey for one another.

Back to Tampa at Naomi’s apartment where Naomi decided that she wants to crash on the sofa to watch some TV. Jimmy wants to talk to Naomi about their engagement, Naomi wants to dodge the whole subject, Jimmy wants Naomi to talk about because right now he’s not sure that Naomi wants to get married. Naomi freaks out saying that she’s willing to give everything to Jimmy but she wants her career first. Both of them fight for a bit but Jimmy wants Naomi to do at least one thing to show that she’s willing to get married. Naomi doesn’t want to deal with the issue at all. Jimmy is PISSED! Jimmy packs up all of his clothes & yells at Naomi saying that he’s willing to be there for Naomi for the rest of her life but her job at WWE will not be; then Jimmy throws a glass at a wall & storms out of the place.

Back in San Diego & its moving day for Bree. Nikki shows up to say she’s sorry for picking a fight with her, Bree accept the apology & says that Daniel made her realize that Nikki was right as well. The Bellas hug it out.

We’re heading to RAW’s next stop in Kansas City as our cast come together. Naomi tells everybody about how she & Jimmy got into a fight about their engagement, Bree understands that Naomi & Jimmy needed this fight to see where they are, Naomi says she doesn’t mind the commitment. Cameron walks in now & she’s been SICK! Tonsillitis & Cameron mentions that she also has a yeast infection as well. (RD:”Okay we didn’t need to know that.”) Our cast is telling Cameron she should be in bed but unfortunately for Cameron the WWE Talent Relations guru Jane (Geddes) ordered her to come to work because The Funkadactyls have a match tonight. Naomi’s happy that she has a match just so she can release some stress. One of the Talent Relations slave monkeys tells them that The Funkadactyls match will be an 8-person Mixed Tag Team Match & The Funkadactyls will be going against none other than…The Usos!

Back from the break & The Funkadactlys try to get themselves out of this match with Naomi’s personal issues & Cameron saying she’s sick. The Talent Relation slave monkey says business is business. Naomi is freaking out because she never wrestled Jimmy in the ring while Cameron’s worried because she’s ill.

WWE Superstars IS ON right now with The NXT Divas watching the 8-person Mixed Tag Team Match with Tons of Funk (Brodus Clay & Tensai) & The Funkadactlys vs. The Bellas & The Usos. Tons of Funk & The Funkadactyls makes their entrance no problem BUT when The Usos do their Samoan War Ritual Dance, Naomi is not too thrilled to be in a ring right now. The Bellas make their entrance & they try to get all flirty with The Usos which once again Naomi isn’t too thrilled about to see. Nikki gets really flirty with Jimmy & now Naomi is PISSED! Naomi is literally shooting on Nikki but things get REALLY awkward when Nikki TAGS IN JIMMY! WWE Mixed Tag Team Rules states that Naomi must tag in either Brodus Clay or Tensai but she stares down Jimmy then…Naomi GOES FOR THE HEAD SCISSORS ON JIMMY! Jimmy is in shock over what just happened; Naomi says that “maybe you’ll talk to me now!” Tensai gets in the ring & he has the “Uh…I shouldn’t be here” look all over his face. The match continues with The Funkadactyls & Tons of Fun getting the win. The Funkadactlys try to do their post-match routine but Naomi is so out-of-character right now & she feels really uncomfortable. After the match The NXT Divas head backstage to hug Naomi & with Natalya there JoJo realizes that she wants to be a WWE Diva so goodbye Sebastian. Natalya understands the whole situation & is happy that JoJo is sticking around.

Cameron tries to catch up with Naomi backstage but Naomi is so stressed out about it. They find a place to talk at the RAW Interview stage where Naomi tells Cameron everything, Cameron asks the same questions that Jimmy did, and Naomi admits that she’s afraid of failing the relationship in addition to scars from her relationship past. Cameron gets through to Naomi saying she’s scared & she has to take that chance, Naomi realizes that it’s her so she wants to find Jimmy to talk about it.

At the end of the day Naomi finds Jimmy & wants to talk but Jimmy doesn’t want to talk to her, Naomi apologizes to Jimmy for everything that has happened recently. Jimmy suggests that maybe they need to break up, Naomi comes out with the truth about not wanting this relationship to fail & how she was cheated on; Jimmy accepts the apology & everything is right again.

End Of Show

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