302 Rumble Mifflin: January 29, 2021

Whatcha mean I'm still Wrestlecrap?! I made you laugh, Brother!
94 minutes 

RD threatens to talk about wrestling. Blade wants to argue about Star Wars again. RD threatens him on his Big Announcement. [Wasn't it Midnight Rose's retirement? - Erik Majorwitz]

Blade received his Christmas gift from Jordan: A Hulk Hogan Rock 'N' Wrestling VHS tape and some grilled cheese and tomato cream puffs. (:15) RD's Miss Elizabeth card does not have a hometown listed, and he summons Popeye to heckle Blade before he can do any impressions. He then tries some White Chocolate Sugar Cookie M&Ms which are averagely bland. He thinks they should change the name to something more accurate.

:24 Something called a "Shaq Bowl" with the eponymous basketbrawler will occur during the Super Bowl half-time with the Miz and Drew McIntyre, despite him expected to also appear in AEW against Cody after cutting a sleepy promo against him. Blade can relate (to the sleepiness.) RD compares him to Rick Rude. But will they be fighting over bracelets?

Sad News: Catherine Bach is not on Cameo. Neither is Priscilla Barnes. Charlene Tiltin is though. So is Cheryl Ladd, who 8 year old RD once wrote to. Blade guesses Ladd at $150 is higher than Tiltin at $100. It's actually $199 compared to $40, a bargain at half the price.

SPEAKING OF Obscure Hall of Famers, the Undertaker said some stuff on Joe Rogan's podcast. Blade admits to getting drunk while carrying his own blade. (Ahem.)

Tony Schiavone tweeted about being in physical pain, perhaps from putting butts in seats. RD was stationary biking during the pandemic. Blade has been vegetarian for the past few weeks.

Jonathan Coachmen vows not to return to WWE. RD doesn't believe him, remembering Bobby Heenan's words that refusing to return only makes Vince want you back more.

Madison Raine is retiring much to Mike Check's fascinating sadness (that they are also not on Cameo). (:44) For once RD breaks his own character laughing. Mike: "I don't think that's how technology works Brad." He still wants minimum wage Taylor Wild. He plays that one BJ Thomas song.

Mickie James is a fan of Trish Stratus' 'companions'. (:50) Blade thinks RD was stalking her: "I would have checked your passport if that was the case. ... Do you and Mike Check sit around and talk about who has the bigger microphone?"

Speaking of technology Blade had to find another Question on Facebook. He responds with 30 seconds of silence. (:56) David "TattooTrolla" Merlino gets an expected non-answer. (Not more silence?)

Neither wants to talk over the People's Court theme. Who would? (:56) This month, Robin Enrico doesn't mind Mr. America. RD lets Blade ramble before telling him that just because Blade liked it doesn't mean RD should also. Cf. Black Scorpion. Verdict: Guilty. RD thinks people should submit their audio defenses personally since Blade is terrible (as a human being).

Since it's that time again the two talk about their three favorite Royal Rumble memories. (:61) RD has Greg Valentine vs. Ron Garvin in '90, Hogan running into Warrior in '90, and Heenan commentating for Ric Flair in '92. Blade has Dino Bravo bench pressing in '88, Haku vs. Harley Race in '89, swimsuit Ivory in a swimming pool competition with Mae Young in '00, Honky Tonk Man returning in '01, Demolition in '89, Dalmatian Miss Elizabeth in '89, and Mean Gene feuding with cigarettes in '92. He can't remember who else was judging Ivory. To be fair, neither can most other people not named Dave Meltzer or Bryan Alvarez.

Ken Patera is on Facebook (and I bet not following McDonald's on there) but also not yet on Cameo. (:76)

RD takes credit for Jungle Boy's theme being Tarzan Boy.
Blade: "You were in your thirties."
RD: "Yes."
He also enjoys the piped in "holy crap" chants. Blade laments not working in 'AWE'.

The WWE Network is being sold to NBCUniversal's Peacock for one...BILLION...dollars. RD highlights the quality of the sale by putting Tekno Team 2000 over everyone on their current roster.

Seventeen Syllables:
Network on Peacock.
Yay, NBC with McMahon.
That's not what she said.

 

$1.00: $34.00 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right 


Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. wrestlecrapradio.com, Patreon, Coasty Marshmellow
  • URLs not taken: 1. CatherineBachinaDunkTank.com
  • SPEAKING OFs: 2. Arguing, turning the channel
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
 
  • Phone Calls & Run Ins: 2. Popeye, Mike Check

 

  • F-Bombs: 2. Blade, Blade (2)
  
  • Blade Time Outs:  3
  • RD Time Outs:  1 (1 Wait a second)
  • Mama's Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes:  2
  • Cricket Chirps:  1
  • Krankor Laughs:  1
  • RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  1
  • Weird Al Laughs: 1
 
  • Crapper's Court
    • Case brought by: Robin Enrico
    • Case #002: Crappers v. Mr. America, allegedly Hulk Hogan under a mask. 
    • Blade's "defense": Brought smiles to faces and brought back patriotism in a post-911 world.
    • Verdict: Still guilty of WrestleCrap.
 
  • Question of the Week from: David "TattooTrolla" Merlino
    • Why haven’t Jinder Mahal’s puffy nips been inducted yet? No sold. 

  • WrestleCrap 3 Count:  3 Favorite Royal Rumble Memories.
    • RD:  Greg “The Hammer” Valentine vs “Rugged” Ronnie Garvin at Royal Rumble 1990, Hogan and Warrior stare-down at the 1990 Rumble, Bobby Hennan’s 1992 Royal Rumble commentary  (non sequentially)
    • Blade:  Demolition Powers Explode at Royal Rumble 1989 #1 vs #2 entrants, “Mean Gene yelling about cigarettes (nee Honky Tonk Man Royal Rumble return), Miss Elizabeth Dalmatian dress. (née Dino Bravo Bench press challenge at the 1988 Royal Rumble) (Sequentially)
 
  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: WWE Network finds a new home:
    Network on Peacock.
    Yay, NBC with McMahon.
    That's not what she said.

  • Erik Majorwitz’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: The truth in figure advertising will set you free:
    “Weaponized” B. Braxton?
    Sadly, he doesn’t come with “blade”
    as illustrated!

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