Episode 3: Holy Umbrella!: August 15, 2021

Fine Feathered Finks
January 19, 1966
"The Penguin plots to manipulate Batman into inadvertently devising capers for him."
73 minutes

RD is now Alfred's Stunt Double (Pennyworth, not Lord). He doesn't know if he will call their 12 listeners "Battle-Axes". 

He's wearing a mustard yellow Robin shirt, but seeing Vince in a KISS shirt makes him remember Blade and if KISS meets the Phantom of the Park will ever be on Blu-Ray. Vince is receptive to doing a separate watching of it.

Vince wrote more for analyzing an episode of Batman than he did an episode of Raw, and not just because the former is far more entertaining (:03). This is despite today's continuing to be convoluted. Even Mrs. Deal noticed it.

RD notices the first instance of a particularly used blue van. (:05) It is being used by the eponymous goons to sell umbrellas to a surprisingly large customer base to open them inside a shop for snake prizes, superstitions be damned. This reminds Vince of the gimmicks he had in his video store, though sadly none had umbrellas. RD in particular had to rewind for one line from one of the (original) shopkeepers to his colleague: "I smell a hoax Jenkins! Devilish! Sinister!"

At the PD they find the Penguin has been released from jail by one Warden Criton. Gordon asks for volunteers for the "pompous waddling master of fowl play...are any of you smart enough?" Of course according to RD's theory of Gordon being the secret crime boss no one takes him up for it. To the Batphone!

Since Bruce's Batphone is in his study both wonder how on earth Aunt Harriet never noticed it until now. Vince thinks she doesn't because she's a freeloader and/or he asked Alfred about it. (:14) Neither does she seem concerned with two adult men rushing to go fishing during the heat of the day. Vince compliments RD on his observation skills. RD responds by noting that all the sounds are now in the right place.

Robin complains about learning French. Batman: "Language is the source of world peace." RD thinks he wants everyone to speak English. It's not like one of the world's greatest detectives needs language to demonstrate his mastery and superiority over crime or anything. I'm surprised he didn't want the fighting word balloons to be equally uniform.

Seeing the Batmobile's (regular) license plate makes Russo wonder how it's registered. (:21) RD wonders what they will do if they need change for their parking meters. 

At Police HQ Robin gets too excited for RD's taste. Chief O'Hara: "It will be a sad day for corkscrews when that crooked bird goes straight." Batman is a "big fan" of Warden Creighton for some reason. The Co-Bros are split on his methods. Said methods include videotaping criminals (in high quality!) to see if they are reformed while wearing their old outfits and umbrellas and saying aloud their intentions to return to criminal activity. Penguin: "I am an aristocrat of crookery!"

The Co-Bros laugh about the big umbrella industry that allows three manufacturers to open in Gotham the week before with one Cagey Bird organized by jailbird Penguin. RD: "He's a cagey bird!" This includes a huge sign on the company building, a giant igloo penguin clock, and carrier pigeons. (:31)

Vince points out the clock contains an early Alexa and he's planning a crime about "nothing", like he's a master of his own domain. Then he wonders why he's beating his own employees with an umbrella and why they don't go to the police about it. RD is ensure what their goal is while the Duo Bat-turn. Possibly related: a bank branch using an umbrella holder as a trash can.

Vince was traumatized by a henchman mishandling one of the carrier pigeons due to the lack of ASPCA presence. Until then that was probably the only "crime" so far. (:38) While the Penguin states he has not (yet) committed any crime, animal cruelty or otherwise, RD wonders about the snake umbrellas. 

Finally he uses a Rooftop Umbrella Launcher (with sign) to fire a giant umbrella onto the street. Vince wonders if the sign manufacturer could be charged as an accomplice. Robin has to warn people it may be dangerous as they try to defuse the situation. Batman climbs up the umbrella to get the smaller one on top to take to the Batcave. There Alfred is cleaning the "Super high high voltage" Atomic Pile of Molly's body, signed to prevent any more deaths. (:44)

Batman uses a Hyperspectro-Graphic Analyzer on fabric to see if the umbrella is poisonous. Robin uses a Chemo-Electric Secret Writing Detector. They plant literal bugs around the Cagey Bird by having Batman as Bruce with his father's umbrella. This activates the Penguin's Automatic Anti-Bugging Machine which Vince knows the name of. RD hangs his head in shame. This causes Bruce to stand still and swivel his head around slowly for 15 seconds as a giant net descends upon him.

Shockingly, despite the Penguin being a wealthy high society mainstay of Gotham City and mastermind (of whom Batman once admitted was his intellectual rival if not superior)...he has no idea who Bruce Wayne is. "For all we know, this could be a rival umbrella king trying to steal my precious secrets." So they send him on the world's slowest conveyor belt to be incinerated in the furnace, the plan originally set for Batman. (:53) RD wonders if the same production people tried doing that to James Bond in Diamonds Are Forever. Vince questions if they're using Bruce's endangerment too early in the series.

The Co-Bros wonder why Penguin didn't have a lady accomplice of his own. They feel the episode needed more substance and movement. 

Narrator: "Keep your Batfingers crossed!" Vince thinks they're like buffalo wings AKA "chicken of the cave". The two hope Bruce survives or else Alfred will have to wear the cowl. 

The two remark on such scenarios already seen in three episodes that would never fly today. especially the surprisingly adult observations of things. They wonder when they will hit their more well-known stride regardless of all that.

RD promotional considerations some more. (:65) He compares his interactions with Blade to his with Vince. Vince goes off against the marks who keep forgetting the business/corporate side of wrestling. RD enjoys analyzing a show that the original writers didn't intend for 55 years ago. Vince had to deal with Standards & Practices following him around in WCW. I'm now saddened he didn't make them World or Tag Team Champions.

  • Special Guest Villain: The Penguin (Burgess Meredith)

  • SPEAKING OFs: 1. The camera
  • RD Time Outs: 1. (Wait a second)
  • Blue Van: 1
  • Rewinds: 1. RD
  • Entertain The People: 1


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