Episode 9: Holy Hole In A Donut!: September 26, 2021

Zelda the Great
"The Dynamic Duo arranges a trap for an elusive annual bank robber, but the female magician they are hunting is on to them with a new scheme of her own."
90 minutes

Even Russo is Greater Than Zelda, according to RD's nameplate.  But is he better than his current Co-Bro, still "ChannelAttitude.com"? He wags his finger at RD disapprovingly.

This is the first lady villain of the show, one of a very small group. (:04) RD wouldn't mind doing an Addams Family progrem after this one. Vince would just go over missed stuff. This is especially the part here where things are quite unmemorable except for the "mind-boggling" last 20 seconds.

A peaceful night in Gotham City is interrupted by an explosion at the Gotham Bank as captured by a Raw cameraman and a guard expressing surprise at his gun that he shot at someone. Vince remarks on his terrible acting. RD: "On this show? Really?" 

This for a $100,000 robbery is apparently an April Fools tradition, which seems more like a Calendar Man thing. I'm surprised he never made an appearance on the show. Gordon: "The Unknown Bandit escaped as clean as a hound's tooth...The League of Banks is becoming uneasy." This sounds like a job for FATCAT! (:12) 

He has to placate his grimacing cops "castigating yourself; you're tip-top officers all of you. Still, two years on this case and you men haven't turned up a SINGLE CLUE! ANY REASON TO THINK YOU'LL DO BETTER NOW???" STIFF, double underlined Vince. O'Hara pleads for help. RD: "Do they ever not need help?"

Thus for the first time, Gordon uses the Batphone while his forces use the Batsignal. It's a good thing as no one is home greatly depressing Gordon. The two are actually on the roof of Stately Wayne Manor stargazing, where Bruce is very poetic on the importance of astronomy. Vince is alarmed that Aunt Harriet keeps wearing the same outfit day in and day out. She is there to see the Batsignal with the naked eye and announce dinner at a strange time of day. They calculate it's at least 10 pm when no one should be banking or eating and Dick should be in bed. He should also technically be a Teen Wonder. They give an excuse of going to a "lecture" on Latin American affairs at 11 pm. Bruce vows to eat some hot pancakes later, which excites Vince for some reason. 

Excited Vince finds it odd that they've mounted a jaguar head in the study. (:22) RD leaves that to Bruce's antics on a shooting hunt. Because as everyone knows, a jaguar killed his parents.

The Duo set off in day-for-night shooting to the rear parking lot of Police HQ obstructing at least five police cars. 

Vince is alarmed by the state of O'Hara's teeth. He conspiracy theories Gordon removed their medical and dental plans due to their incompetence. Once again RD has to remind him they did not expect to be watched in high def 55 years later. 

Their plan is to fabricate a story that the money is counterfeit. O'Hara thinks the criminal is stealing to pay for his taxes. Batman admonishes him into hanging his head in shame. The two compare it to their own children shaming them.

Cut to a poster proclaiming Zelda the Great is "even greater than Houdini" which is hard to prove given that by then he was no longer with them for 40 years and they did know he was sick. Vince calls it "interesting" when it actually isn't to him. 

Analysis of a bullet trajectory in the Batcave determines the bullet went through layers of silk, so they immediately determine it was a woman because no MAN would be wearing silk! Vince wonders if this would rule out Liberace. But it's not a mentioned Catwoman either. Gordon: "A WOMAN? What is this world coming to?" RD wonders on their filming order.

Cut to the Gnome Bookstore where "lurks the secret workshop of a strange Albanian genius" Eivol Ekdol, working with Zelda (the Great). RD remembers seeing Anne Baxter as Nefretiri in The Ten Commandments where she would get 7 or 7.5 Batpoles, but only gets 3.5 here. Vince mishears him and thinks it is affecting his judgment; he gives her 5 for her body offset by his dislike of short hair. RD responds with his Nathaniel as Vince impression. But he is persuaded to upgrade his score to 4.5. 

Instead of ancient Egyptian clothing, Zelda wears a "Hiero-glycerine tear producer" ring and pulls handkerchiefs from her pocket. (:41) The money is to purchase tricks (for $100,000?), with this year's being a escape-proof plastic electrified bullet-proof cage with deadly gas, so they just throw the money away and prepare the cage for Batman instead. RD critiques Batman for his rushed plan. 

Speaking of Batman he prepares a bugged emerald called the Star of Samarkand (or Sam Markand as Vince says it). He critiques RD for jumping ahead too much and gives him boos: "Did you watch this episode???" Zelda's female intuition leads her to add "two strings to her bow" to deal with her suspicions of the trap. The gem is to be held by one Hilary Stonewin in her jewelry store. Sad News: She is the lowest rating on their Batpoling. (:47) The Duo hide in her store's...balcony, as she looks them over. Batman: "This unique garb of ours is one of our weapons of crimefighting!" They do all this planning and quoting as Zelda observes them regardless. Vince mistimes her activities. RD has to correct him with a cut to Stately Wayne Manor. Aunt Harriet answers the phone and is disturbed to hear Dick was hit on the head with a ball: "which playground?" she weirdly asks. Vince is equally disturbed by her not wearing a bra. (:53) Then she gets a visit from "Mrs. Smith, The Playground Matron". "What an idiot," handwrote Vince.

THEN we return to the jeweler. Vince boos RD for missing the Dynamic Jabronis hiding in the balcony for two hours when a lady enters spraying purple gas everywhere. "Does she have COVID?" wonders Vince. The Duo's stunt doubles make a huge jump with a slide-whistle. Zelda gets the gem with the help of her hat mirrors. Robin: "Holy hole in a donut!" Batman: "The tricky little she-devil!" However before they can give chase Gordon calls to tell them a braless Harriet Cooper has been kidnapped for $100,000 ransom within an hour...and Bruce is nowhere to be seen. Robin: "WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO POOR AUNT HARRIET - I mean, Mrs. Cooper?" 

Finally we see Zelda sitting and knitting while Aunt Harriet's stunt double is peddling her feet above a roaring flame. (:63) RD compliments the special effects used in shadowing her feet. 

Vince compliments Zelda in outsmarting Batman, at least for this one episode. He wonders where "Admiral Ackbar" gone off to while waiting for his money. He hopes braless Aunt Harriet will be alright. 

RD: "Sometimes the simplest story is the best." (:72)

RD's first WrestleCrap book has an odd UK variant. 

Vince was asked by WWE to appear in some WCW DVD. (:76) He at first turned it down unless he got paid for his time. He recently got a check from World Wrestling Federation. He ponders posting a picture of it without comment to anger people. RD ponders posting a picture of his check from Vince without comment to anger people. Then they discuss Dave Meltzer's star ratings.



  • Special Guest Villain: Zelda The Great (Anne Baxter)

 

  • SPEAKING OFs: 2. Missing stuff, Aunt Harriet
  • Vince Time Outs: 1
  • Entertain The People: 1
  • Outdated references: 1. Harry Houdini

 

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