Episode 57: Holy Wild!: September 11, 2022

Green Ice
November 9, 1966
"Mr. Freeze is in town, and has begun a new cold wave of terror. He launches "Operation Hate Batman," framing the Caped Crusader as taking a bribe and dressing his own henchmen as Batman and Robin. As the negative press mounts, Mr. Freeze works on his plan to turn the Dynamic Duo into human Frosty Freezies."
55 minutes

RD: Shut Up About WILD. He took Jr on a road trip to his first (AEW) PPV. He found the whole kerfuffle with Punk "interesting" but thought Tony Khan should have been more assertive in handling him. Vince reminds bookers not to befriend talent. RD wonders if this includes them. "Speaking of talent," Mr. Freeze is probably the first to show attraction to ladies, which will be hilarious when later tales have his whole impetus to save his wife Nora. RD: "Man's gotta have priorities." 

A "beastly hot day" is still a good temperature for the Miss Galaxy beauty pageant. RD would have voted for Miss Barrier Reef. However before any judging can be done, Mr. Freeze and his goons come in to kidnap Miss Iceland and blow a kiss to the others.

O'Hara comes into Gordon's office all wet with sweat while his boss is informed about the actions of "that cold-blooded, cold-hearted, callous culprit Mr. Freeze". 
O'Hara: "It seems a pity on a day like this to call out the Caped Crusader."
Gordon: "Fair weather or foul, dog days or a monsoon, who else can we call in such a crisis? And who else will answer?"
O'Hara: "Maybe Batman will welcome the air conditioning."
They then look up into the roof's giant vents to see Mr. Freeze standing inside looking down upon them.
Mr. Freeze: "I wonder iv Batmen will welcome the air conditioning!"
He then freezes the entire office with his freeze ray.
Alfred answers the call with a yawn: "naturally, sir." Bruce picks up.
Gordon: "Batttt...help..."
Bruce: "The commissioner...I think he was trying to tell me something."

After the titles (:13) Mr. Freeze is in an ice cream truck across the street of Police HQ. Knowing the reporters will be following the Duo he tells his goons Chill and Shivers to prepare themselves with a "wild". 

Gordon's doors are iced and snowed shut.
Robin: "Holy polar front!"
A police sergeant thinks the two "policemen" have already frozen to death.
Batman (nonchalant): "A negative view point sergeant; man has nothing without hope."
He blows up the door with plastique as the Undynamic Duo slip and slide all over the place. The Dynamic Duo try to warm Gordon by throwing a cape around his shoulders slapping him. To be fair I would slap him too even if he wasn't cold.

As Freeze tries to flirt with his captive, the Bros note how well the makeup did to make Otto Preminger look as hideous as possible, complete with giant orange eyebrows. 

Gordon wakes up, blessed to be rescued by his one true love. (No wonder in the storylines he's usually divorced.) "No matter how thick the battle, no matter how heavy the frost, no matter who you really are, or where you ever come from, I knew I could count on you Batman!" 

They manage to fix the office just as the first reporters arrive on the scene, among them "Nellie Majors, Gotham City Herald, as if you didn't know."  Vince wonders if she was at the PPV/scrum.
Oddly they have to inform the unaware Batman of the earlier kidnapping.
Robin: "Mr. Freeze might be involved."
Batman: "Robin! Since when do we make public accusations without strong solid proof? Robin's indiscreet statement is strictly off the record."
Majors: "I've seen many heroes tarnished in the course of my career."
Gordon: "Nellie! I will not have you talk to the Caped Crusaders that way!"
Majors: "Oh you too Commissioner! Do you have something to hide?"
RD wonders why she wasn't working with Freeze with that line of questioning. 

Suddenly someone wonders in with a giant block of the titular green ice - dollar bills - for Batman for "Incidental Crime Expenses".
Majors wonders if it is a giant bribe. "Your mask seems to make for an excellent blindfold!"
Batman requests to donate it directly to the police since they haven't heard of a thing called money laundering (...among other things).
"It's not your fault Commissioner. And certainly don't blame Miss Majors'. [To the camera] A reporter's lot is not easy. Making exciting stories out of plain, average, everyday people like Robin and me..."

Sadly Freeze's lair is not the truck, but the Frosty Freezies cold storage plant, where he is in the midst of planning Operation Hate Batman. (:26) Quote he: "wild." He reads and praises Majors' article in the paper, but doesn't go any further with her involvement in his schemes. Miss Iceland is imprisoned next to a giant thermometer, where he plans to accustom her to -50 degrees. 

Vince raises a good point. (I know.) If Batman is to be investigated for any potential shady dealings, why has there been no reporting of the time a woman fell to her death in the Batcave's Atomic Pile? 

Then the two goons enter dressed up as the Duo. "I'm Batman!" says the one. RD was sad it was not the usual stunt doubles. 

In the Batcave the Duo use their Batanalyzer to determine that more 'bribes' will be involved. You don't say.
Alfred: "Knowing first things come first, sir, I waited until the last possible moment before interrupting your important computations, but the guests will be arriving shortly."
Batman: "Guests?"
Alfred: "Yes sir, the poolside reception this evening. For the Bruce Wayne Foundation."
Robin: "Holy tuxedo! If we're late, Aunt Harriet will kill us!" 
Batman: "'Kill' is not a word to be bandied about haphazardly Robin. Angry, yes. As well she might be if we're late. Don't forget we've placed the entire burden of this reception on her stout unselfish shoulders."

This is the first we see of the stately poolside in the series. Newly reelected mayor Linseed tells pushup bra-ed Aunt Harriet how thrilled he is to be at "Stately Wayne Manor".
Harriet: "I originally planned to have it all 'Japanesy'. But the caterer called and said I should really do it Irish because green was most becoming to women guests. I even have the reflection pool died green."
Gordon: "Mrs. Cooper is a clever Colleen, Bruce."
O'Hara: "Who'd a thought it? A wee bit of the Emerald Isle right outside o' Gotham City."

Vince once lived in a log cabin in Indiana next to a catfish filled lake and had a very powerful blue dye. 

This is the perfect opening for the caterer to appear, who is of course Freeze.
Dick: "Let's get him, quick!"
Bruce: "Patience...Dick Grayson."
Some other policeman tries to stop Freeze, so of course he shotgun-style freezes him into standing still while a green halo is superimposed on him. This is so drastic an effect the show immediately cuts to break right in the middle of it.

When we return, Freeze orders his goons to rob the people. O'Hara wants to sneak around but Bruce denies him; better to lose a few "baubles" than risk lives. Cue Gordon making a scene and pleading pathetically on losing "a generous memento given to me by the good folk of Gotham City!" 

Freeze then orders everyone into the reflecting pool so he can freeze them in place. Quote he: "wild." This includes Bruce and Dick, as the "Duo" promptly show up...and collide into each other. RD is not sure if this was better than Ruby Riot falling flat on her face. But they manage to stage their "fight", during which "Robin" stubs his toe before "Batman" punches him. He almost punches Freeze too. Then they all just run off with a "wild", leaving Alfred to thaw out the pool.

Back in the Batcave Alfred has reservations about the Duo's reported reputation.
Batman: "There are other reputations to be considered: Commissioner Gordon, Chief O'Hara, Mayor Linseed. None of this looks good for Gotham City."
RD: "Did any of those people have any stellar reputation to begin with?"
Batman also still needs to rescue Miss Iceland. "Her kidnapping seems to have become secondary. A regrettable situation for any young girl."
They do manage to find his prospective lair though.

In the lair Freeze has to reassure his captive that she won't turn into a glacier. Then his goons give him his meal of frozen food. RD wonders how he can eat. Vince thinks he gnaws on it instead of cooking it first. He then hears that the Batmobile is out front, just as the actual Duo enters.
Robin (reading the list of flavors): "Gosh, Batman, dig those flavors: lemon lime, orange, raspberry, pineapple..."
Freeze: "Take your choice, Boy Wonder. Haven't you read the newspapers, Batman, haven't you heard the stories? The public is fickle. You are no longer the great hero of Gotham City. And soon, very soon you'll be hated, despised like me. Wild!"
Cue a very short scuffle that the Duo win. They are so much in their hubris from their superiority that they don't take any sort of precaution to Freeze's freeze ray.

So the Duo find themselves in giant frozen snow cones about to become human Frosty Freezies.

Freeze: "Wild!"

Narrator: "Can zis... eh, I mean this...be happening? Batman being made into a pineapple Frosty Freezie? And Robin into a lime one? Has the diabolical Mr. Freeze out-witted the Dynamic Duo after all? With some fancy ice-work? Hope for a miracle, and stay frozen in your seats! Until tomorrow: same time, same channel!"

RD: "Batman is blue. Since when is pineapple blue?"

RD tells Vince about United Dairy Farmers. Vince has Costco's soft serve. 

Sad News: RD is no longer relying on Patreon support now that he has a new source of revenue. 

  • Special Guest Villain: Mr. Freeze [2] (Otto Preminger)

  • SPEAKING OFs: 2. Talent, Her
  • Wild: Minnesota

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