Deep Freeze
November 10, 1966
"The press continues to attack Batman and Robin, thanks to framing by Mr.
Freeze. As public animosity mounts, the Dynamic Duo decide to hang up
their capes for the time being. But when Mr. Freeze demands the
impossible sum of one billion dollars, or else he will cover all of
Gotham City with ice, the Caped Crusaders feel compelled to go back into
action to foil the frosty villain."
57 minutes
RD: Bow to the Brows! His camera is off as he prepares his "wild" orange eyebrows.
Vince recently recorded another podcast on how Batman may have killed off The Munsters (TV shows, not the actual characters...I think).
The Narrator takes six hours to summarize for some reason.
Robin whines, vowing to visit a Turkish Bath after their escape. RD wonders if he's being euphemistic. Batman asks him to kick around at the bottom of the vats. He knows about the steam in a Turkish Bath's pipes because of course he does. RD: "I suppose he spent some time in the Middle East." Well, obviously; he did train under Ra's Al Ghul after all (once he got around to being created in '71).
Elsewhere Freeze is rather sad that he got rid of the Duo so quickly. He tells goon Chill to get his instant camera for "the greatest ice crime in history that will destroy all of Gotham City in a few minutes" and finally bring Miss Iceland down to his temperature.
Miss Iceland: "Never! Not if I live to be a hundred... below zero."
Freeze: "You're stubborn but you're beautiful. ... Wild!"
Vince has never heard the word "bemoan" before.
Meanwhile the Duo manage to escape off-camera to the Batcave. (:13) In the Gotham City Herald: "Commissioner's Stolen Watch On Batman's Wrist!"
Robin: "Holy distortion!"
Batman: "Although the newspaper clearly indicated this photograph came from an anonymous source, and that could quite possibly be a fake, the great majority of the people will only look at the photograph and not read the text."
Alfred: "An unfortunate failing of the masses, sir!"
Batman: "Time to just hang up the cowl!"
He plans the people to think they have retired with the use of a "run-out powder" so that they can entrap Freeze. Aunt Harriet needs Bruce and Dick to run an errand for her in town anyway, so they somberly walk to the Batpoles to surface.
Majors is already in Gordon's office pelting him with much questioning. Gordon tries to run out of time.
Majors: "No, you don't have time. At least not wristwatch time! Maybe you better ask Batman the time of day. Isn't he wearing your watch?"
O'Hara has to dismiss her for some reason. "Back to your typewriters!" But Gordon laments: "the terrible tide of adverse opinion may soon engulf our Caped Crusader!"
Almost immediately someone takes their Batman poster out of a drugstore window which also includes what RD thinks is a bong (in the store front, not the poster). A kid seeing this boos Batman before walking off past Bruce and Dick.
Bruce: "Nothing has ever cut me so deeply to the quick. No blow ever struck by
any arch-villain has ever hurt me so acutely as that little boy's boo."
In the lair Freeze plans to "wild" freeze the city if he doesn't get one...BILLION...dollars. He rubs the eyebrow rather than put a pinkie to his lips, but the point still stands.
...yet only now do they actually check if the Duo are actually "freezies for Goliath".
Shockingly Gordon starts saying "wild" in his office upon hearing the demands...to Bruce and Dick who are just there. Did they go to report that booing child? Bruce tells Gordon not to underestimate Freeze.
To show his seriousness Freeze "blackmails" them to see a demonstration conveniently right now: by freezing all the waterworks. This doesn't deter the same sargeant of the day before who thinks the waterworks employees are all drunk. Hard cut to a news anchor reporting on the city suddenly going to hell. And they didn't even have to cut off the bridges first!
A delighted Freeze thus plans to go to Switzerland with his Mrs., but he has to freeze her first since for some reason she's still not wanting to go along with him. Vince wonders why she didn't use the a shag carpet rug in her cell as a cover. RD wonders how freezing her would change her mind, let alone how it would help their relationship.
The Undynamic Duo do the important job of...standing around and watching the news. Obviously they can't pay the ransom but what would Freeze gain out of this? Gordon thinks it is revenge for his condition. Yet they have yet to call the Duo for help.
Gordon: "I never thought it could happen. But like so many of us, I... I'm afraid I've lost faith."
Then after the break we suddenly see the Dynamic Duo out and about in the Batmobile like it's just a regular day driving to the lair. According to Batman a bad rep is one thing, but a threat of a frozen city is another. (:34) They climb up the building but only see "stooges" instead of window celebrities. Batman demonstrates his strength by bending a TV antenna to disrupt the signal.
Freeze: "What's the matter? First the commentator said the stock market went kaput and now the TV set went kaput. How else will I know if I get the billion dollars or if I have to destroy Gotham City?"
Goon Frosty heads up to the roof to check, allowing Batman to ambush him with a hammer to the head.
Batman: "That should straighten out your antennae!"
The Co-Bros have fond memories of their satellite dishes.
The Duo finally re-encounter their opponent.
Freeze: "Batman? But... but, but, but you were supposed to be a famous frosty freezie by now."
Batman: "Exactly what we wanted you to believe!"
Freeze then points to the frozen Miss Iceland.
Miss Iceland: "Batttt...mannnnn..."
Robin: "Why you... beast. You sinful beast!"
Batman: "You're inhuman. An absolute demon."
Freeze: "Inhuman? Demon? Wild!"
Cue the stunt doubles in the fight, in which the Duo are corralled into Miss Iceland's cell. Freeze has to come back later to finish them off, which went so well last time.
Thankfully Robin has his thermal underwear while gesturing with his bare arms.
Freeze calls Gordon to gloat he has the Duo captured and gives them a very exact 26 minutes. This important call done with, he returns to the cell to freeze ray the Duo, but of course they are unharmed.
Batman: "We took the precaution of processing our crimefighting costumes with a special Bat-Anti-Freeze-Activating solution."
Robin: "And rubbed some on the rest of our bodies."
Cue second fight, where someone throws an ice pick at Paul to use as a tripwire. The goons are locked shut in the cell despite the door being blown earlier (Batman has to adhere the breech before hand). Freeze's collar is broken so they have to put him in the cell also.
More importantly Miss Iceland is released. Cue Batman rubbing her extremely hard. (Ahem.)
Miss Iceland: "Oh Batman, what can I ever do to thank you?"
Robin: "Thank the judges of the Miss Galaxy Beauty Contest, Miss Iceland. They agreed to postpone the final event until you were found."
Vince gives Miss Iceland a very cold 2 Batpoles since she was more old enough to be Mrs. Iceland. RD is of course shocked at his colleague's rationale, his lowest by far. RD thought she was glamorous and figured even with too much makeup, giving her 7.5. Vince doesn't want any woman above 30 on the show for some reason. Feel free to make your own joke here.
38 year old Dee Hartford was once a model...in the late 40s. Her sister Eden was married to Groucho Marx for 15 years (Dee herself was married to Howard Hawks for seven years) and through him she found most of her work with Irwin Allen, including being an android in Lost In Space.
In the Office (:49) Batman reminds Warden Crichton about Freeze's temperature despite the Commissioner wanting him to boil.
Batman: "A brother's sufferings claim a brother's pity, gentlemen."
Robin: "Holy epigrams!"
Batman: "No, truisms. No man is really all bad."
Then the Duo have to go to the Miss Galaxy contest.
Robin: "I'm not gonna be young all my life, Batman, and besides, beauty contests are practically an American institution."
Batman: "You see gentlemen, such pure logic is indisputable."
As they leave the booing kid from earlier is there to see him, moving Batman. He vigorously rubs the boy's head before they go to the elevator.
Gordon: "False pride is indeed a dangerous thing, Chief O'Hara."
O'Hara: "False pride? We were talking about beauty contests."
Gordon: "I'm talking about myself. How hard it is to admit when I'm wrong, but I was wrong, so wrong, [To the camera] when I ever even imagined I was losing my faith in Batman."
RD has to entertain the people. Naturally he puts all the blame on Vince.
RD reminds us that the 80s were a weird time.
Rupert's Kids Arcade has started doing 50% off fundraisers.
- Special Guest Villain: Mr. Freeze [2] (Otto Preminger)
- Brown Hornet Escapes: 1. Wild off-camera.
- Entertain The People: 1
- Screen Captures: 1. RD
- Wild: Salmon
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