Testify!! for #131

WrestleCrap Radio Recap
Testify!!
75 minutes
Written by Farmer Iggy

It's a new year and WrestleCrap is back!! And I'm back writing a recap because I lost a bet!!

What a great year 2008 was!! I didn't get stabbed even once!!

On with the show!!

RD has been hard at work poring over thousands of pages of a transcript of hearings held by a U.S. Congress committee, chaired by Henry Waxman. Employees of wrestling companies recently testified in the nation's capital about steroids.

This is great news!! Congress is free to use their time concentrating on an issue that nobody cares about, because everything else is hunky-dory!! The economy is on the mend!! Democracy has spread like cancer in Afghanistan and Iraq!! Peace has broken out all over the world!! China and India have decided to curb pollution!! OSAMA IS DEAD!! Iran, North Korea, and Cuba were taken off the shit list!! Stock markets have rebounded world-wide!! AIDS IS SURVIVABLE!! The troops are coming home, this time not in body bags!! Detroit has recovered!! HEATH LEDGER HAS RISEN FROM THE GRAVE!! Gasoline prices have fallen dramatically!! The sky's the limit for the Oakland A's in 2009!! HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN!! Global warming has been solved!! The housing market has bounced back!! SOME OF THOSE AREN'T FALSE!!

Among those questioned were Dixie Carter and Stephanie McMahon. RD impersonates Dixie as he reads the part in which she links fans of wrestling to fans of The 40 Year Old Virgin (:04). Blade and RD say they would never insult their fans like that (:07). Unfortunately, some people need to be insulted in order to get the hint that they suck. That's where this site rightchere can help!!

Since April, this site has bashed RD and Blade, the providers of free entertainment, week after week. I won't speak for Premier Blah, [I'll still focus myself against the Dynamic Co-Hossing Duo. - PB] but I, Farmer Iggy, for ALL of 2009, will "hate on" the listeners EXCLUSIVELY!! EVEN IN REAL LIFE!! If I have a bad day at work, it will be the listeners' fault!! If I scrape my forearm, I know THE GODDAMN LISTENERS DID IT!! HERE'S TO MENTAL HEALTH IN 2009!!

WrestleCrap Radio's host, Podango.com, died and went to CyberHell at the end of 2008. Just for posterity, here is the old blurb on http://www.wrestlecrap.com/wrestlecrapradio.html for Podango:

The entire WrestleCrap Radio archive is now hosted on our new system, Podango, which will allow all sorts of new features for the show, including direct comments for each episode! We are also looking into new ways to make the show even more craptacular in the future for our 12 listeners. Thanks - and keep on Crappin'!

And if you want WCR as fast as humanly possible, just click on the subscribe feed on the Podango page - you'll get the shows before Podango updates!



And here's the new blurb for LibSyn:

The entire WrestleCrap Radio archive is now hosted on our new system, LibSyn, which will allow all sorts of new features for the show, including direct comments for each episode! We are also looking into new ways to make the show even more craptacular in the future for our 12 listeners. Thanks - and keep on Crappin'!

And if you want WCR as fast as humanly possible, just click on the subscribe feed on the Podango page - you'll get the shows before Podango updates!


ALRIGHT!!


Blade suggests Tammy Sytch's old site wrestlingvixens.com be an induction (:08). This week's induction is Vinnie Vegas, written by Triple Kelly.

More big news!! Triple Kelly is now the lead writer of WrestleCrap Inductions (:10). Congratulations, Triple Kelly!!

Short impersonations are drawn from the late '60s version of Spider-Man (:12). Podango's dead but the sponsorships aren't (:14). The People's Court theme music is porn music (:18). Congressman Waxman's aide, Mr Tibbs, questioned RD and Blade as proved by an clip of the first part, which lasts four minutes (:20).

WrestleCrap kicks off 2009 with its exalted crown (of thorns) -- the Gooker Award!! (:25) You don't even have to register or anything!! Anyone who visits this webpage before January 26 can vote!!

And the nominees are: Mike Adamle, Vince McMahon's Million Dollar Mania, Santino vs Cousin Sal, Braden Walker in general, the Diva championship title, Hillary vs Barack, TNA Fish Market Fight, and Dutt-Lethal-Val love triangle. All are deserving nominees!! This one will be close!!

Blade wants to fund WrestleCrap Radio One Dollar Mania (:27) but RD opposes. RD talked about Maryse for a minute (:31). Interactive: Maryse's greasy visage (:34). Blade likes legs, ass, abs, and then tits (:35).

Obscure Wrestling News: Sad News: Lord Littlebrook bedridden (:36), which is fortunate for his family because you don't want a person with Alzheimer's to be mobile. The Detroit Lions stink now and Blade prefers to reminisce about the Lions from back from the Jim Brown era (:40). I could not tell you what decade that was. The Iron Sheik, Bushwacker Luke, and John Cena Sr. can be booked to watch a WWE PPV with you (:43). In exchange for dollars, you can torture three notable men with bad television!!

The second clip lasts eight minutes (:44). It's difficult to make congressional testimony entertaining unless you're Peter Dragon.

Question of the Week: Blade says, "Apparently I am a alcohol monkey" (:53). Ultimate Kennedy gave Chainsaw Charlie and Sparky Plugg dolls to Blade and Tatanka (Buffalo) and Earthquake to RD for Xmas (:56). UK claims Kizarny is awesome (:57), which is completely false. Kizarny will likely be very available for the WrestleCrap Carnival (:58)!! MegaTrolla appeared (:59).

The third and final clip lasts four minutes (:62). Vince McMahon will appear on Raw in a few weeks (:68), as his handlers plan to scare him out of his hole in the ground. Will he see his shadow? Vickie Guerrero's black-boxed nude photos were placed on wwe.com and removed a few days later by popular demand (:72).

Seventeen Syllables About Her:
Vickie's birthday suit.
We got to see her black box.
Time for Summer's Eve.

Nice recaps take three times as long to write!!

[I know! I wonder how I will fare should it be my turn next time... - PB] [For the April 11th Pens-Habs game, should we wager that the loser has to watch the entire Jeff Jarrett DVD set? —Iggy] [You shall have it. I'll see if I can try and get it electronically too. —PB]

[This bet was changed because a Jeff Jarrett DVD set is cruel and unusual. —Iggy, April 13, 2009]

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