209 WCR.F.D.: July 7, 2012 ("Aired" on July 13)

102 minutes

For some reason with the Fruitcakes not being 'able' to do a show these past few days despite their vows to do so, the two have decided to 'cut their losses' and just decided to release the show out of its misery end the whole thing without any rhyme or reason.

(Or it could be that RD is tiring of the progrem and wants to move on. Personally, I don't blame him.)

To that end, the two have had a table at the recent Days of the Dead Con in Indianapolis (what an appropriate name, to get an obvious joke out of the way). To help put this show out of its misery they've found whoever they can scrounge up as their "12 Listeners" to be their Live Studio Audience Laugh Track of this Very Special Episode. This apparently involves them watching the Fruitcakes go through all the 'motions' of the show and change their voices every now and then.

Why does it make me feel like I'm watching their Roast again? I'm almost expecting Trash Losagain to walk in at any second...

One thing that can be considered almost a universal constant: Blade is once again made the fool here. I think it's all that alcohol he's been drinking, both here and throughout most of his radio progrem life. This isn't helped by the fact that seeing something about dead chicks doing anal reminds him of Don. (:06) I don't want to know what would bubble out on you if said dead chicks did such things to you though...

Blade seems quite 'determined' to have his own show by doing monthly 'specials'. Don't hold your breath kids.

Stubby is brought from underneath their table. I don't want to know what he was doing in there. (:09) He didn't even bring his canned laughter, so the audience provides one for him. RD finally gets one up on the figure and renders him speechless. Blade misses his (future) chance to talk to a tree in his backyard.

The Duo still need to promotional considerate even though it won't be any use to them pretty soon. (:12) This is an excuse to once again mock the Shining Wizards ad feed. A Listener leaves because "I've heard enough."

That done, RD tosses Doritos bags to the peanut gallery. (:22) He invites a guy on 'stage' to try some hot dog flavored chips, which taste like bad hot dogs. So, like most hot dogs then? Blade likes to eat Earl Campbell's sausage.

Sir Alec 'calls' over the phone because he's on 'honeymoon' back home in England. (:31) However, judging from the timings between Indianapolis and London (which has the thespian awake at around 1 in the morning) this is less him on a late night boat ride down the Thames and more like him being drunk and hallucinating said honeymoon back at his abode. My guess is Ellie got tired of his infatuation with douching and left him for someone else. My guess would be Mike Check.

Regardless, Blade does Alec as Blade doing a bad English accent and has him read a few lines of 'poetry' that he totally didn't randomly scribble down on a sheet of paper a few minutes before recording. Alec still has his cheering crowd of supporters with him, hopefully not capsizing his honeymoon boat or, more likely, taking up too much space at home and causing a ruckus with the neighbors. We shall see which outcome seems more likely in the near future.

(Again, don't hold your breath.)

Nintendo John has his own cheering audience with him too as he 'calls' in. (:37) He remembers playing old horror games. On the Nintendo. Sadly, Monster Party was so scarring it made him quit his playing. On the Nintendo. He plans to upgrade to 32-bit though and become Super Nintendo John. "Kryptonite can't see me!" he proclaims.

The Honky Tonk Mail Man also calls in, though he has an excuse seeing as he's not in Indy right now. (:42) Good move on his part too; he shouldn't risk his life being with them after more than 526 days during a year where the Fruitcakes did fuck all progrem wise. As a reward for his perseverance Blade plans to send him an empty box. Stamped, of course. He leaves without even bothering to report any news. Perhaps he was all out of Observers that day.

Iron Mark calls in not long after. He's awfully hard to understand. (:47)

B.M. Punk calls in not long after. He's awfully hard to understand because RD quickly hangs up on him. (:48)

"Satan" calls in not long after. (:48) Of course he's not there in person either, but he has an excuse! It seems he "has a leak in his ceiling" and he has to do things himself around the house. Perhaps he can get D.I.Y. tips from Angry Jim Ross? Sunny and Reby Sky have been arguing about Sid Vicious, for some reason. RD thinks he's hearing Satan's phone ring. I bet it's God laughing at and taunting him, having been the source of his leakage all the way down in Hades. If He DID create the multiverse as we know it we know that pulling a prank on His hated adversary is not really something strenuous here. Blade relaxes his throat by shilling his being Satan in a movie.

:55 Dustin Runnels is in some horror movie somewhere. That's more news than I can stomach. Blade responds by inviting a woman up on stage with him. (:56)

Someone in the audience is tasked with delivering a "Question Of The Week" to ask about Blade's new show. (:61)

Again...don't hold your breath.

People start wondering in and out of the place. (:61) Blade dons his Midnight Rose mask to flirt with some pretty ladies. Any results from that action have yet to be seen.

RD responds in turn by doing his Mike Check impression. (:73) This time, neither even bothers to wonder what he's doing and why he's not still in prison. He's just 'there'. Perhaps he's existing in Indy and in prison at the same time in some sort of Schrodinger's nightmare. (In my case, I'll still pretend he's in the Big House and hacked his way in again. It will make things much easier to figure out.) Did he ever tell you about the time he worked with the recently no longer with us Andy Griffith in Winston Salem's WMOO "The Moo/Big Cow 1240"? He was Pop Stevens and Andy was Stan Cherry, and together they hosted the Pop'N'Cherry Teen Dance Hour. Sadly no one knows if it was sponsored by Dr. Pepper.

:81 TNA has some new gimmick of a crack whore (named Claire for the three of you who care). This has to be explained to Blade for some reason. AJ looks to be about 12. One guy is so excited by this revelation he doesn't even finish texting.

RD has had enough and outright asks some of the audience of their favorite moments from the show. (:90)

Haven't we done this already?

:94 Blade does his Jim Ross impression. He's just now discovered the invention that is a cellphone.

Seventeen Easy to Digest Syllables (of Fun):
The end of the show.
After seven years, we're done.
Now let's take a bow.



As expected, the Ratings Reaper finally gets off his ass to 'cancel' the show. And I thought I was a procrastinating motherfucker. There's always a bigger fish, it seems.

Of course, RD gets the literal last laugh. I expected nothing less.



$11.00 : $25.00 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right 



For the three of you that care, I'll be posting a later piece about the future of this here website. It's still going to stay up long after the radio progrem has ended of course, so don't worry. Much. 

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