261 Ron: Legacy: August 6, 2016

Owww!!!

109 minutes

RD got another episode recorded just so he can talk about jobbers (of the week) returning on air in actual WWE rings. Blade wants to say something but can't.

RD: "It's always good whenever you say 'I can't say it.'"

This radio progrem will soon be 11 years old. RD compares it to a prison sentence.

Blade: "You know a lot of shows do really hit their stride in that 11th year, you know what I mean?"

Blade thinks the new Raw logo spells Ron. RD plays one of Ron Simmons' old WCW theme songs in response (which admittedly is a...damn good tune).

Blade threatens his Big Announcement yet again. (:08)

The Duo remember the TNA correspondents they've suffered through over the years.

Fellow Chris Dietrich sponsors the progrem with some sort of Nintendo ROM of his of Basic Championship Wrestling. Sadly neither Nintendo John nor his audience make a run-in. (:14)

Adam Frasier of Strange Kids Club interviewed Blade about wrestling. "I sound like a very intelligent man," he lies.

RD has also been writing a column once again, this time for WhatCulture.

It was Blade's turn to TRIP to the Grocery while RD sits at home in his air conditioned room sipping water. (:23) Although he didn't go to a grocery but to a corner store  (not to be confused with a coroner store or Blade's random Paul Bearer "impression"). There he found (still fresh?!?!?!) Rap Snacks, which had been discussed on the progrem a while back. As he reads the synopsis, Iggy and later me had written that back then he didn't like them. Now after trying a few he changes his opinion and thinks of them more favorably, which is good! To balance that, RD checks their site and is confounded by how "terrible" it is.

:32 The MovieTrolla still works after all this time. So I guess there's no need to send a (free) replacement just yet.

WWE is doing another animated movie with Scooby-Doo because the first one was a success...I think? Also Dusty Rhodes is in it for some reason. RD compares him to Bela Lugosi in an Ed Wood film.

RD remembered when he wrote about their Flintstones crossover which was pretty bad, Office Space reference notwithstanding.

In an attempt to "put himself over" Blade managed to get Don out of movie retirement to star in a horror movie thing with him.

Johnny Nitro/John Morrison is to star in a...Sinbad movie? Huh. (:42) This can play out in one of three ways:

• My way: He's going to play the traditional heroic character - who is of course Arab. What, whitewashing in Hollywood? Get out of here! And yes, I know they did that with an animated version with Brad Pitt as the legendary sailor. The fact that nobody remembers let alone talks about it shows how successful it was, and how this will be. Hell, just finding its page I found another newer one featuring Patrick Stewart - the real thespian, not our TNA man who enjoys leaving now.
• Blade's way: He's going to do his best Lou Ferrigno impression. That movie was so awesome in its badness, I'm amazed it hasn't seen more play let alone a RiffTrax/MSTing or two. A remake of that in the same so bad it's good vein? License to print money. 
• RD's way: He's going to be portraying the COMEDIAN Sinbad. I'd pay all the money in the world to see that, just so long as it's not Jingle All The Way 3.

This of course leads into another Star Wars debate meandering which almost makes RD lose his cool. (:45) Perhaps Sinbad will make a cameo in Episode VIII.

Blade's friend and Troma Films comrade Catherine Corcoran was in a horror movie project (100 Acres Of Hell, not to be confused with the Hundred Acre Wood as RD first thinks) with Gene "Boba Foot" Snitsky. Thankfully before Blade can continue his analogy of how "his inbox exploded" they get her on to talk to her about the experience. (:48 - :66) She had a good time with the shooting and with Gene, although she did not test to see if he still had his foot fetish. As for cereals she loves Reese's Puffs and their new slogan "That is the shit!"

Blade's new TNA "correspondents" call, and the man who was formerly the Honky Tonk Mail Man pulls double duty (though not both at the same time) as...Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley. What, was David Lee Roth busy? ("NO!")  (:68)

This whole nonsense makes more...sense, if you keep the following in mind:

• Things can't get more bizarre with TNA than having the Hardy's fight because TNA is having serious money issues and needed the material no matter how bizarre it was.
• Blade and some friends were going to see Kiss perform live in concert, and were even on the way while the duo were recording their radio progrem. Hence the band would more than not be on their minds to use for "comedy" in the loosest sense of the word. 
• Blade's confederate probably chose those two because he could do those voices at least. I don't know how he would do Billy Gibbons for instance.
• Blade is in the midst of a mid-life crisis and wants to (still) rock and roll all night and party every day like he used to when he was younger.
• Blade and Don were in that recent movie with someone as the Kiss Demon. (It wasn't Dale Torberg though sadly.)
• Both Gene and Paul were in the news recently discussing how Kiss would still carry on without them, causing much debate and argument.
• Kiss did some concert thing for WCW that wasted money for low ratings, a symbol of the similar downfall TNA has been experiencing for the last twenty or so years.
• No mention is made about TNA, as is the expected custom.
• "Our" Gene is a much more pleasant character to hear than the current Ted Nugent-lite caricature we have currently. Wow, yet another like that? What a shock. I look forward to Viewing Booth Bill Cosby being his TNA successor.
• Paul was once seen with a dissatisfied look on his face at a Raw taping.

I know I'm probably reading too much into this but hey - it's what I do, and I do it best.

While RD once again has to suffer another Tammy update this time the news is surprisingly good (for a change and while it lasts); she has been out of rehab and sober for 138 days as of this radio progremming. May she keep that way, in all seriousness. (:81)

Blade's Misfits singing gets gonged.

A Mike with a weird last name that makes me fearful on spelling it wrong, tongue twists Blade, and makes RD reference the recently deceased Peter Shaffer has this week's Question about Matt Hardy and his dilapidated boat. (:85) RD wants him to next hide behind the (dilapidated) Smackdown Fist.

Blade's further Star Wars debating gets temporarily silenced by the power of the Force.

:90 Did Blade ever tell Mike Check about the time he finally figured out how to properly use his bumper stickers? (It's also nice of him to call in without the phone ringing. Perhaps RD once again put his phone on silent.) While Mike was at Raleigh, NC's 92.7 WROL "The Roll" as Big Fred Fingers he tried supporting the (bad) minor league team there by not shaving and calling it "No Trim Till Redbirds Win". His show was titled the equally bad "Raleigh Fingers Afternoon Mustache Ride". He plays some John Anderson, the country musician, not to be confused with JON Anderson, of Brit prog rock icons Yes.

Braun Strowman's new gimmick seems to be as a fighter of jobbers - sorry, I mean "local competitors". What next, are they going to start calling wrestlers "sports entertainers"? (:100)

RD wonders which will show up first next vernal equinox: Blade's Big Announcement, his next Jobber of the Week, or that Parts Unknown Yearbook he keeps talking about.

Time to put this show to bed:
James Ellsworth on Raw.
A "local competitor".
Jobber of the year.



$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right 

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 4. WrestleCrapRadio.com, Basic Championship Wrestling NES Game, StrangeKids Magazine, What Culture Wrestling magazine, Drive In Movie Maniacs
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 4. Magazines, nostalgic, movies, derailing the show
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 3. Catherine Corcoran, Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley

 

• Blade Time Outs: 3 (2 Real Quick)
  
• RD Time Outs: 2 (1 Real Quick, 1 Wait a Minute)
• Krankor Laughs: 1
  
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  1
• Weird Al Laughs:  1
• WrestleCrap Gongs: 1
• RD False Finishes: 1
  

• Mike Check Radio Row: 
• Station/Market:  92.7  WROL “ The Roll” (Raleigh, North Carolina)
• Radio Call Sign:  Big Fred Fingers
• Show:  Raleigh Fingers Afternoon Mustache Ride
• Promotion: No Trim Till Redbirds Win
• Song:  Justa Swingin’ by Jon Anderson
  

 

• Question of the Week from: Mike
• What would dilapidated item do you Matt Hardy to hide behind next? The Smackdown Fist (RD) or my old backyard swing set (Blade)

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Jobbers are back and Blade is smitten:
  James Ellsworth on Raw.
  A "local competitor".
  Jobber of the year.

 

 

260 Throwing Babies: June 3, 2016

"I'm crazy but you're insane???
Isn't that what you SAYED???"

63 minutes

(by R.V.M Kai)

In the third installment of Wrestlecrap Radio of 2016, RD and Blade dust off the Tin-Can-And-String to do an (emergency) hour-long second-by-second recap of a TNA Impact Wrestling YouTube clip starring "Broken" Matt Hardy and Jeff "Brother Nero" Hardy.

As you know, for the two of you that have been following TNA this year [that number's way too high - PB], Jeff has been feuding with his brother Matt, who since suffering a storyline head injury had now gone "insane" (or "crazy"? What's the difference?), dyed his hair to look like Pepé Le Pew, and started speaking in a Shakespearean sort of "dramatic" tone [Matt Hardy became the "King Tut" of TNA. Its a "Batman '66" reference go look it up. - Raging_Demons.] [Edit: Is that so? I hope that doesn't mean that Jeff will resort to dancing the BATUSI to beat Matt at Slammiversay? - R.V.M Kai.] So, as shown on the recent episode on Impact Wrestling, Jeff rides all the way (just down the road) to Matt's "humble abode" to sign the contract to their grudge match at TNA Slammiversary 2016...but not before Matt's wife, Reby Sky, enters and throws...

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!"

...A BABY???

(Note: For an enhanced experience, we recommend listening to the mp3 link at the top of the page while watching the video clip below.)

(Note Note: You'll also be required to pause and rewind the clip several times as RD & Blade make a 5 minute video feel like six one hour long.)

(Note Note Note: "GO!!!")



Blade then sings a song to the tune of "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother" by The Hollies. (:59)



$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right



NEW BONUS OBJECTIVE RECEIVED

Courtesy of Sean Breeding and our fine fellows at The Intestinal Fortitude, a combined and synced version of the above events. Cut out the middle Co-Fruitcake(s) and enjoy this fine and interactive submission for your approval!

EPIC BONUS OBJECTIVE RECEIVED

The parody videos have started after the airing of "The Comedic Tragedy of Broken Matt vs Brother Nero". Watch as EC3, Titus O'Neal, and Eli Drake make fun of the video. --Raging_Demons

SECRET BONUS OBJECTIVES (as discovered by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 0.
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 1. Such things.
  
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

 

• RD Stops: 19
• Blade Stops: 8
  
• Blade Time Outs: 7 (1 Real Quick)
• Krankor Laughs: 1
  
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  4
• Weird Al Laughs:  1

 

• Question of the Week from: Jeff "Brother Nero" Hardy
  
• Isn't that what you SAYED??? It's OVAH!!!
  

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: No haiku this week, how about a song about Brother Nero?
  

(259) The WrestleCrap Weekly Top 40: April 1, 2016

(Crap To Crap)

No dogs were harmed during the making of this progrem.

50 minutes

(In yet more time travel related shenanigans) "Kasem Casey" on WTKO The Knockout "counts down" some of the various times the Co-Fruitcakes and their "guest" characters sang on the radio progrem, complete with the full swearing left in! Can you believe it's been 3 years since they last sung with their seductive golden tones over bad MIDI tracks while RD laughed uncontrollably in the background? (Assuming you take it from the RD & Blade Show. Otherwise it's been 5 years since their last song from the original incarnation of the radio progrem. And 10 years since they last did an episode.)

Speaking of singing badly, you may remember when Blade had a WWCR Songs MySpace page that he forgot the password to, followed by having his own singing MySpace page when that was a thing for two whole months.

The songs in questionable question:

• Blade sings about Jim's troubles as The Barbequer. (:02)
• RD & Blade badly mangle the theme from Good Times. (:07)
• Blade finds it Hard To Say Goodbye on Mickie James' WWE release. (:09)
• The Co-Fruitcakes Didn't Know He Was Sick. (:12)
• Blade wouldn't spend 10,000 Bucks on Ashley Massaro. (:17)
• A totally real request from Ed Han Salo concerning 'a long distance dedication to his dog' (Poor guy, hasn't he suffered enough already on this show???) brings up The Twelve Days Of Christmas. (:21)
• RD 'sings' some cobbled together Dr. Feelgood MIDIs. Technically that doesn't count as a 'song'. (:32)
• Blade feels the need to sing about Mickie James' implant trouble. (:34)
• The Co-Fruitcakes say Goodbye (to the) Boogeyman. (:36)
• Blade enjoys Brown Haired Trish. (:38)

There is one new song at least, when the Cast Of Characters & Soundbites & Trolla Corporation products sing that in fact We Are WrestleCrap Radio, featuring an extended guest appearance from Jim which is enough to revive both Johnny 4 AND 6. Don't ask. Yes, again. (:43)

"Stewart Patrick": "I am here to sing my song. I'm leaving now."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• April Fools
  
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 5. American Florists, Whirlpool, Mike Check bumper stickers, Folgers Coffee, Budweiser
• URLs not taken: 0.
• SPEAKING OFs: 0. Magazines, nostalgic, movies, derailing the show
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

  

America’s Top 40 with Casey Kasem: Top 10 WrestleCrap Radio Songs

10.  The BBQer by Blade Braxton
(to the tune of “The Gambler” by Kenny Rogers)

9.  The Good Times Theme (cover) by RD and Blade Braxton

8.  It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye to Mickie James by Blade Braxton
(to the tune of “So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday” by Boyz II Men)

7.   Didn’t Know He Was Sick by Blade Braxton and R.D. Reynolds (featuring Krankor and Mama)
(to the tune of “We Didn’t Start the Fire” by Billy Joel)

6.  10,000 Bucks by Blade Braxton
(to the tune of “10,000 Miles” by The Proclaimers)

Long Distance Dedication
Ed “Han” Solo for his dog Snuggles
WrestleCrap Radio 12 Days of Christmas

5.  Dr. Feelgood (Motley Crue) by RD Reynolds

4.  Boob Pop by Blade Braxton
(to the tune of “Mmm Bop” by Hanson)

3.  Goodbye Boogeyman by RD and Blade Braxton
(to the tune of “Candle in the Wind” by Elton John)

2.  Brown Haired Trish by Blade Braxton
(to the tune of “Brown Eyed Girl”

1.  We Are WrestleCrap Radio by WrestleCrap
(to the tune of We Are the World” by various artists)

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 35. Mike Check, Casey Kasem, Jim, Bob and Weave, Sammy Sugar Daddy, CS John Kelly, Jim (2), Popeye, Satan, Sir Alec Heineken, Dixie Carter, Stubby, Nintendo John, Mike Check (2), Midnight Rose, BM Punk, Suzy Shuffle, Mike Check (3), Blade, RD, Stubby (2), Popeye (2), Bill Cosby, Jim (3), Dixie Carter (2), Midnight Rose (2), Mama, Lord Alfred Hayes, Huey the WrestleCrap Radio Ghoul, Crickets, Debbie Reynolds, Weird Al, Johnny 4, Stewart Patrick

 

•  F-Bombs: 14. Blade, Jim, Blade (2), Blade (3), Blade (4), Jim (2), Jim 2 (3), Jim 2 (5), Jim (6), Jim (7), Jim 2 (9), Jim (10)

 

• Krankor Laughs: 2
  
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  1
• Weird Al Laughs:  2
• Huey The Ghoul Laughs: 1
  
• Cricket Chirps: 1
• Mama's Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes:  3
  

258 Apter Crap: January 14, 2016

Pictured: RD Reynolds & Bill Apter (Note: Not holding his new book)

54 minutes

RD & Blade fondly remember John Thomas/Harry Simon. (:00 - :04)

They then get straight to interviewing legendary wrestling icon Eddie Elner Bill Apter. He has a new book out you see.

Some highlights of the conversation:

• Many people at Pro Wrestling Illustrated were in fact real folks and not someone with a badpun pseudonym. Sadly he had yet to 'meet' Liz Hunter in person or remember Rita M. Budda.
• While working in the WWE the idea of a physical Hall of Fame was brought up. Blade still wants to loan his Katie Vick outfit to it.
• When he talks with Jerry Lawler he always has to do a bad Stubby impression. He demonstrates it to the progrem's 15 Listeners.
• He still didn't know why Haku didn't come with crown as illustrated. At least he's not scared of Harley Race who he considers a good man when they were on the road.
• He HATES the term "Apter Mag" as it discounts all the other good men and women he worked with back in the publishing office.
• He relates his entry and first few days in Stanley Wesson.
• He and Paul Heyman (when he was still a wrestling photographer with them) would often get into arguments about their work. According to Bill Paul got bald thanks to the intense wrestling lights.
• He really wanted to interview Antonio Rocco but he sadly never got the chance to.
• RD teases Bill's book by mentioning his (Bill's) penis.
• Larry Holmes once told him: "I didn't know you could make a kid with a stick."
• His favorite cereal is Cheerios thanks to The Lone Ranger.
• He discusses more about apartment wrestling than anyone should healthily talk about it.
• He was once a carnival barker. Shilling ensues.  

Then he pulls a Commander Shepard and goes.



$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

[Side Note: One of the Wrestlecrapradio.com crew met Bill Apter a long time ago. When I was writing for another website I went to one of these conventions Bill Apter mentioned. Ran into my buddy Christy Hemme. Also that's where I met Wrestlecrap Radio's favorite Becky, Becky Bayless (Cookie in TNA) and started my hatred for ODB. I ran into Bill Apter by accident. We talked for a bit and he was exactly like the interview. Apter asked for a business card which sadly at the time I was stupid enough to bring. Aw the potential that could had been done there. --Raging_Demons]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• Dedicated to Harry Simon
  
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 4. Chase Meridan Mastercharge, Pro Wrestling Illustrated, Fanta Zero, Sparkling Ice
• URLs not taken: 2. BillApterFloatingtoBed.com, BillAptersWeinerStillInTact.com
• SPEAKING OFs: 0.
• Bill Apter, not writing about: 0.

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 2. John Thomas, Bill Apter
  

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: N/A

257 The Star Wars Holiday Special: December 23, 2015

"Boring conversation anyway!"

80 minutes

RD warns they won't be talking much about wrestling, as is their usual.

"If you're coming here, if you're coming to our Christmas show, and you're expecting in-depth analysis of professional wrestling, I'm afraid my friends you may be disappointed."

That should be their beginning disclaimer on every show, not just this one.

Blade tells about the time he became drunk Darth Vader the one time he saw Twisted Sister. Though that was more about him having trouble breathing (while taking a Force piss) rather than killing some younglings through some bad acting.

RD plays a randomly found old recording of the time they and some of the submitting Listeners randomly sang Jingle Bells. (:05) "We used to be funny," he admits.

The Co-Christmas-Fruitcakes are no longer in contention for the WCFFL (myself having defeated Blade to get into contending for the Fralic Trophy, a first for me! Wish me luck.) so their football expert calls to pout about his tactics. This makes RD laugh. (:08)

RD is nostalgic for the first time I confused him with my submitted ad copy. I admit I am too. Those sure were simpler times! Blade is confused by the multiple URLs that are in play. [Edit by R.V.M Kai: RD may have also given us our new tag-line: "Wrestlecrapradio.com: A fantastic website! It's almost as good as Wrestlecrap.com!"] (:12)

I also sent the Duo a present or so for the season...if you consider the timely ZZ Top's Eliminator a gift like I do. (:15) Blade promises to deliver on his Big Announcement that he first mentioned about in...2007.

The Duo also got a gift from "The Grocery". Not Ray Stevens? (:18) They are Little Debbie's North Pole Nutty Bars. They're smaller than regular Nutty Bars yet still taste the same. Sounds like a rip-off if you ask me.

RD remembers Stevie J's Horray For Khali Claus. (:23)

Fascinating Christmas
there, RJ & Brad.

Speaking of being as old as Khali/Santa Claus, Mike Check calls in. (:25) He actually had his own radio station once: NPOL North Pole 98. The N is for the Northern region you see. Basing things on a bad James Bond movie (Die Another Day, not Spectre) he became Frosty Largerod and lived in an igloo for three months. For a change he plays RD's other beloved Jillian Hall's "Freddy Krueger impression".

:33 The Midnight Rose was in some NES-based wrestling game competition. Blade mixes himself and the Rose up, as is his usual. He blames his controller for his bad performance.

RD was asked by Trash Losagain to manage him one last time in the ring. He remembers the last time he did so over 10 or so years ago, when the Big Show beat him up.

Carl Zayas (2) is concerned about their Star Wars debate from last time. They do however both agree that Episode VII: The Force Awakens was pretty good. RD enjoyed Han Solo redeeming himself from Return Of The Jedi. Blade thinks ROTJ Han was based on RD retroactively somehow.

This brings Sir Alec for some reason. Which makes Blade laugh for some reason. (:41) He has a Star Wars Christmas themed fanfiction piece which sadly does not include that other Sir Alec.

RD remembers Piper at Christmas. (:49)

Jim is down as usual (:51) partly due to him not getting into the ZZ Top action by getting their CD. He also wants to talk about Star Wars for some reason. His spoilers news sources are all wrong, especially about barbecuing, which makes him leave randomly, as is more and more his fashion (Confused Jim perhaps?). And without even verbally flipping them off too! "Go Force yourself!" RD fills in for him.

:57 The Duo get down to some more Star Wars discussion. Only right here *slam* on WrestleCrap Radio!

RD remembered how he was spoiled on The Empire Strikes Back and ROTJ so he tried and succeeded to avoid anything for TFA (a tactic that I also did with equal success). Knowing where things led anyway he was still reflectively sad on what transpired with (TFA) Han. "Not every story has a happy ending," he reminds Blade. Blade is in turn reminded of how RD would fit perfectly in the Star Wars universe with his travails and events and things.

Blade went as Bossk with RD's gift mask and got into conflict with the police there. Wow, who could see that coming? RD & son went with their outfits and had no trouble. Blade thinks he should have gone as dying Darth Vader in ROTJ. "Think of the children!" he says.

RD reminds people who thought TFA was too similar to A New Hope that just because they thought so doesn't mean others who are younger and may not have seen the films before would think the same or not like it, which is a valid point. "Or you might wind up having your favorite character be Jedi Han Solo, that would be a tragedy!" At least he fares better than Blade's Bossk, who just sat around while Luke & Leia broke out Jedi Han/RD from Jabba the Hutt.

Blade then mumbles randomly about how the Ewoks were hidden until release and were thus shown as 'ugly Star Trek style aliens' as black blobs with hair. Someone should follow up on this.

:72 Fellow colleague Jordan Mishkin sent RD a vintage wrestling shirt. Blade received a Pabst Blue Ribbon flask and a Carbonite Han Solo popcorn bucket with a hand puppet of that ESB asteroid monster (Space Slug) from RD. In turn he sent him an Attack Of The Clones shirt, hopefully without sand in it.

Here We Go:
Han Solo is dead.
What did this make me feel like?
Lumpy in my throat.




$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• Christmas
  
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 4. GlobalInternet.net, WrestleCrapRadio.com, WrestleCrap.com, Long John Silvers
• URLs not taken: 2. DarthVaderTakingaLeak.com, LumpyinmyThroat.com
• SPEAKING OFs: 3. Sponsors, sentient beings, getting back in the wrestling ring
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 5. WrestleCrap Fantasy Football Drag Queen, The Great Khali, Mike Check, Sir Alec Heineken, Jim

 

• Blade Time Outs: 3 (1 Real Quick)
  
• Blade Burps: 1
  
• Robot Reindeer Laughs:  2

• Mike Check Radio Row: 
• Station/Market:  NPOL North Pole 98 FM (North Pole)
• Radio Call Sign:  Frosty Large Rod
• Show:  N/A
• Song:  Santa Baby by Jillian Hall
  

 

• Question of the Week from: Carl Zayas (2)
  
• After hearing the back and forth between you and Blade, I was wondering, are you both okay?  I got worried. I haven’t heard a heated exchange between two people since me and my buddy almost engaged in fisticuffs in an argument about Wookies versus Gungans. I guess my question, is this normal? Yes.

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Blade hates the new Star Wars:
  
  Han Solo is dead.
  What did this make me feel like?
  Lumpy in my throat.
  

256 Kitty Little: November 28, 2015

"Just buy some damn tubs!”

89 minutes

RD has seen just about all the old Christmas movies so he is forced to watch newer (and worse) ones; one of which is so bad he will be writing about it next week (after having subjected his wife to it too). Sadly it is not that “naked” Dusty Rhodes Christmas movie that was (to be) released in a January.

Blade makes his “joke of the week”. (:05)

Blade's Royals have won the World Series after 30 years and the Lions beat the Packers at Lambeau after 24 years. He recorded them on VHS (:07) Meanwhile Payton Manning is not growing younger and Andrew Luck is getting more injured. RD does his "David Carr rant".

Oddly enough at no point does their football expert call in to give 'advice'. I guess it's because no one unique of note was injured this week. I say unique because Tony Romo was injured. Yes, again. Poor guy can't catch a break (or throw one for that matter). I just hope he doesn't get traded to the Jets.

According to yours truly WWCR is six (freaking) hours long and has scales. Like a fish? And it gets played twice. So 12 hours long then? (:12)

RD surprises himself by not listening to the ad copy beforehand as if to avoid spoilers. Blade remembers he was looking for a Co Hosss “coach” from the earlier/interim Show. Yes, what a surprise he didn't follow up on that. Or his Big Announcement. Truly it is such a shock.

Also he can't count.

Also WC is still sponsoring itself. (:16) Their Black Friday Sale includes a discounted Archives at $12.95. That's like $2 off if I can't count either. They also have those Amazon links that give them some money when used to buy stuff. Like the new Death Of WCW, available in physical and Kindle format!

:20 The Festive TRIP to Black Friday music is loud on RD's side, but for some reason Blade says he can't hear it.

The duo have been on so many Black Fridays Blade needs a list to keep track of them. Well, SPEAKING OF lists, I wonder which reference site has a easy to search list of all their Black Friday outings...

RD went to Meijer's where he was confused by how much kitty litter was being bought by so many people. This included a family of five prematurely aging rednecks discussing it, their “stupid” mother wondering why it's not spelled “little” and the father quoting: “honey, it's so much cheaper than that *bleep* you buy! Just buy some damn tubs!”

Yes, the man probably censored himself too as he spoke on the day.

:36 Like Tammy, Dawn Marie has some strange name rules. One of her names of Dawny sounds like washing detergent. Blade cheers RD's joke of Dawny Marie like one of their audiences.

The pantsless Brother Midnight will return to the ring on Dec 4th at CWE's Rumble to Remember. (:41) Blade thinks one of their talent, named Tommy Lee Curtis, has the gimmick of being Jamie Lee’s sister which is so bad that even RD laughs at it, and he should know since he is the master of bad gimmicks. They then watch Jermaine Jackson (back when he had longer hair) sing the theme song from Perfect, a movie Jamie Lee was in which according to Blade could make Tommy Lee “Mr. Perfect”. (:46)

And yes, John Travolta is her love interest.

Coincidentally this was also Travolta's reaction when he heard that.

According to Melina, her long term boyfriend John Morrison takes Cialis. (:51) Is he also one of those guys in their advertisements sitting in the bathtub still waiting for WWE to call him?

Blade: "You might stick it in your peehole."
RD: (100 'kids' later) "I don't know why I started this show again either. You have to forgive me."

JR then calls. (:54) Bob Caudle used his large and excess supply of Vaseline (used alongside some Dark Journey head scissors) to wax his van which attracted bugs on their way to Broken Arrow, Oklahoma. He makes Blade laugh. Jim asked John Morrison for BBQ ideas and he suggested Cialis in the turkey rub to keep you up. This was all well and good until the children got into it and then got into the pies. Apparently Jim needs to take some Cialis too as he forgets what else he wanted to say. “Go fluff yourself!” he says instead.

Tammy has a “new” website. (:59) In keeping with her style it's based in Wix, the Geocities of the ‘10s. And looks like it too. As expected she has items for sale, none of them with Shawn Michaels’ signature for some reason.

It will also be her 43rd birthday soon so the two once again look up her Amazon wishlist (available through their Amazon links). It's still under her “old” name of Tammy.

:71 Paul O’Parka has a question about Star Wars. This leads to heated discussion including the following:

• RD watched the movies with his son.
• He sees the movies differently now than when he first saw them.
• He argues with Blade about how as average as it is Revenge Of The Sith is better than Return Of The Jedi as a whole.
• Said Return included (in his opinion) the blasted teddy bear Ewoks, a neutered Han Solo (shouldn't that be frozen?) accidentally poking Boba Fett into a sarlacc; and Slave Leia not looking as good as Princess, Hoth, or Bespin Leia (though more under an influence, but at least we have the Force to thank for Carrie Fisher to defeat that and be better and funnier than ever, bless her heart).
• He thinks the movie could have been cut down to 75 minutes rather than its bloated Jabba the Hutt/Death Star II size.
• He thought Attack Of The Clones had some good (better) pieces.
• He would prefer to watch III’s General Grievous, who if you've forgotten already (and I don't blame you) was a coughing and wheezing vaudeville cyborg who was shot to death by Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"He has four arms! He would make a perfect arm wrestling champion gimmick!"
- 1990's Vince McMahon/Alternate universe wrestling tycoon George Lucas
Also: more credible world champion than Sheamus

:80 The argument spills over to Current Wrestling News instead of RD spilling something else (when he ejaculates).

RD: "I guarantee you. I don't like to make guarantees on this show. I guarantee you this show that you are listening to right now kids is historic. I promise you in the history of Planet Earth no two geeks have ever argued over the merits of bad Star Wars movies while the theme from Coliseum Home Video played in the background."

TNA has had yet another stay of execution. This sounds like the makings of a new show segment to be sure. Now they've gone on Pop TV, formerly the TV Guide Channel, truly the perfect place for professional wrestling! Sadly for Blade it's not a soda-based channel, as he wonders about in a bad joke. RD counters with his own bad joke about Snap and Crackle TV. Blade counter counters with a really obscure joke about WWE moving to Spike TV back in the day.

Also there are reports that TNA is actually paying protection money for their time rather than the usual other way round, a sure sign of a desperate action if ever I've heard one.

To no one's surprise, a lackluster Survivor Series (starring your new world champion Sheamus...again) creates record low ratings for RAW, dropping under 3 million viewers for the first time since its expansion to 3 hours. (:85) Somehow RD offended people when telling them so on Facebook.

Eva Marie was booed on NXT for a rather bad promo among other bad things. To be sure, it's not like she's been in the business long or anything due to being on NXT...oh wait. She's a two year veteran who's one of the main 'protagonists' on that awful Total Divas progrem. Why am I not surprised? Or surprised that the (Montreal based!) pornographic company Brazzers would make her a job offer (among other wrestlers they've contacted, more for publicity than anything lasting really).

Normally I would go on about how often such...adult content would sometimes be a natural first step to and from the business (unless your name is Joanie Laurer or Sean Morley) but knowing her skills, I fear it would end up in pretty badly botched action.

Yes, it is possible to be bad at pornography.

No, don't ask me how.

No, don't ask me how I know this either.

This Seventeen Syllable Haiku:
Eva Marie porn.
Brazzers made her an offer.
Hope she'll be ball gagged.


$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• Black Friday
  
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. WrestleCrapRadio.com, WrestleCrap.com
• URLs not taken: 1. JermaineJacksonSmugglingaBanana.com
• SPEAKING OFs: 3. Names, things we talked about in our past, trolls
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 1. Merits of horrible Star Wars movies

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 3. Premier Blah, Bill Cosby, Jim

 

• Blade Time Outs: 1
  
• Blade Burps: 1
  
• Mama’s Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes:  1
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  7
• Krankor Laughs:  1
• Weird Al Laughs:  1
• Cricket Chirps:  3
• WrestleCrap Gongs:  1

 

• Question of the Week from: Paul O’Parka
• RD, when Star Wars Episode III:  Revenge of the Sith came out, you said in a review at WrestleCrap.com that it may have been the best Star Wars movie since Empire Strikes Back. With the impending release of The Force Awakens, do you still feel the same about RotS? Yes.

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Obviously:
  
  Eva Marie porn.
  Brazzers made her an offer.
  Hope she'll be ball gagged.

255 Tee Hee Halloween: October 30, 2015

"And ya gonna say please & thank ya!"

106 minutes

RD surrounds himself with candles. Huey has yet to update his jokes.

Roddy Piper returns from the grave to warn us about staying safe at Halloween, bless him forever more. (:04)

The Royals are in the World Series (including two Reds as RD points out). To be sure I would have preferred the Blue Jays instead but I like both teams and the Royals put a stronger showing for the Championship Series anyway. Blade hates waking up early to watch the Lions and Chiefs playing in England because the NFL desperately wants Europeans (non-Americans) to watch American (non-European) football. On an unrelated note, RD's Drag Queen with a voice like Ben Vereen advises you to draft Arian Foster. I agree. (:09)

The Pit where PB keeps Raging_Demons ???

For a change, Raging Demons does this week's shilling.  (:13) To be fair he has a much better voice than I even if he is trapped in a pit like RD says he is. Perhaps he's confusing him with Dante's portrayal of Satan in the Ninth Circle of Hell...or perhaps he's confusing him with the WWCR character of Satan. (He'll be appearing later on in the progrem in case you were one of the two people who missed him.)

The Intestinal Fortitude didn't pay for this episode sadly, so RD shills his site and Archives more. Listen to the man, I implore you! Trust me, you won't regret your purchase. (You can regret listening to this radio progrem instead.)

According to RD Blade last wrote a Jobber Of The Week in 2003. He Big Announcements some more in response. (:17) They then argue on the availability of Orange Slice.

Blade did some sort of part and found some more folks to go along with him to the grocery. Sadly Eva Savelalot was not one of them. (:22)

The strangest thing the two didn't pick up on was that Mr. T also did a 1-800 Collect commercial or two - foo!, and the Pinkman, Aaron Paul, was in one of them. (He did quite a few commercials and famously appeared on a Barker era The Price Is Right before his breakout discovery by a cancer suffering high school chemistry teacher eager to break into the drug/meth business. Sadly in none of them did he call anyone bitches. He should go back and correct that now with the power of his Emmys before Vince calls him to guest host Raw.)

Anyway, Blade has some Zapps' Voodoo Potato Chips that he hands off to Don to try without even bothering to cue up his theme jingle. Sad News: when trick-or-treating with his children he does not wear his mask; although it does help fans (he has fans living nearby right?) come up to him on the street to ask him for the proper application of corn oil. Even Sadder: the chips are not malt vinegar/BBQ/rib-flavored like he thinks they are.

Danielle Harris with NOT Blade Braxton

Blade's compatriot Midnight Rose met Scream Queen Danielle Harris in a very loud place. She prefers granola much to his surprise. (:36) At that same loud place he also talked with Traci Lords who likes Lucky Charms, which currently have Hot Mask Action.

"And that's the bottom of the line,
'cause Stone Cold Austin said so!"

"Stone Cold Austin" finally has his own beer, Broken Skull IPA, which Blade is apparently already acquainted with based on how drunk he sounds. (:44) The flavor's description confuses Blade with its toxic-sounding ingredients and RD by how it describes itself as "polite".

Kurt Angle wants to teach while taking a year off after escaping TNA. That sounds like the setting for a sitcom. (:52)

Speaking of obscure, Curt Hawkins, currently in Global Force Wrestling, announces the 'debut' of one BM Punk to the company. (:55) The real BM is not happy with the news, and in constipation flushes his frustration out on RD in a bad case of verbal diarrhea.

"Old" Rosa Mendes is pregnant. (:58) So too is "feverish" ClockTrolla champion Candice Michelle. Her current child looks rather vampiric.

Tammy/Tam needs money so she's going to sell pictures of her Mexican vacation from sunnyskype8@gmail.com. The duo overthink on what she has to offer. (:65)

As if on cue Satan pays a visit. (:70) Actually it's Stan, the Evil Troll Lord now, perhaps taking a cue from Tammy trying to change her name for some reason from the last time. Also, his Tubular Bells once again sound different. Like Jim earlier he also hasn't been paid his royalties and he desperately needs his money to pay landlord God (landgod? landdiety?) for his lease in Hell. He recounts how Tammy is again feuding with people on Twitter, though it's about her looks from her youth so I have to take her side on this one.

Also on cue on cue Mike Check calls in, also wanting his royalties. (:76) Blade's usual silliness causes RD to chuckle and break character.

When he regains his composure Mike tells them about the time he was in the Salem, Massachusetts market in WTCH "The Witch". He was Johnny Boo and together with a female DJ named Ann B Love, they did Afternoon Delight with Boo B Love. (get it?!?!?!) His ensuing music drowns the sleeping RD.

Mike: "Why does RJ never talk when I'm on here?"

Blade thinks the monetary reward from Questioning (of the week) should be tax-refundable. Of course, that's for INTERNATIONAL i.e. usually NON-AMERICAN folks who don't believe in taxes (or death for that matter) so I have no idea how that would work.

Zane U Paisley (2) wants to know what wrestling shirt he should wear for jury duty. (:90) RD often wears Blade's Dungeon Of Doom shirt, especially while exercising. When Blade is not exercising once a week he wears his ECW Francine shirt that rips off Stone Cold Austin. Then he starts chuckling too.

What's this? News about Hulk Hogan that's NOT related to his racism? (:75) Someone's dug up an old WCW contract of his, and it's pretty amazing the amount of millions he received even while WCW was losing money...followed by Hogan losing his money to Linda. Blade remembers his (still on going?) creepy love for Brooke and her long legs. RD plays ZZ Top's Sleeping Bag as his answer.

Hell In A Cell was alright. Of course neither Co-Fruitcake talks about it much.

One Fun Sized Package:
Vince doesn't like blood.
Will the next pay per view be
sponsored by Tampax?



$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• Halloween
  
• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. WrestleCrapRadio.com, WrestleCrap.com, Drive In Movie Maniacs
• URLs not taken: 3. Evasavealot.com, PleaseandThankYa.com, hornyonquaaludes.com
• SPEAKING OFs: 4. Holiday jokes and wisdom, perfect guests, shocking, shocker
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 2. Ben Vereen, Eva Savealot

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 9. WrestleCrap Fantasy Football Drag Queen, Raging_Demons, Eva Savealot, Don Mason, Danielle Harris, Traci Lords, BM Punk, Stan (formerly known as Satan). Mike Check

 

• RD Time Outs: 2 (1 Real Quick)
  
• Blade Burps: 1
  
• Huey The Ghoul Laughs: 9
• WrestleCrap Gongs:  1

 

• Mike Check Radio Row: 
• Station/Market:  WTCH The Witch (Salem, Massachusetts)
• Call Sign:  Johnny Boo
• Partner: Ann B. Love
• Show:  Afternoon Delight with Boo and B. Love
• Song:  “It's A Monsters' Holiday” by Buck Owens

 

• Question of the Week from: Zane U Paisley (2)
• I’ve been summoned for Jury duty. What pro wrestling shirt should I wear to court?  Anxiously awaiting your response. Blade: Francine 4:69 t-shirt.

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Vince isn't a fan of color. SummersEveSlam?
  Vince doesn't like blood.
  Will the next pay per view be
  sponsored by Tampax?

 

254 Derailed: October 10, 2015

All Aboard The Trainwreck: Please & No Thank ya!

91 minutes

Blade enjoys his Boo Berry. According to him his Roll Up variant makes Boo look like sperm.

That's what she said.

This is the only solace for Blade, as he doesn't feel well, or so he says. That hasn't stopped him co-hosssing of course. The most harm he can do in his condition is to cough into the microphone. The upshot if there is one is that the medicine gives him an excuse to act pseudo-intoxicated, if any.

RD returns to the subject of (12) Listeners who have no idea about the main site that gave birth to the radio progrem. So the Duo discuss his latest induction. It's not like he already mentions the site every recording or something. (:05) The talk of masks leads into the Pingkin calling in, (:12) and this time RD remembers to use Satan's voice modifier to make him more Michael Clarke Duncan (RIP) this time around. I think he just wanted to call to prove he actually/still exists on the show.

Although my shilling is now timed at 10 seconds long, sadly Blade is too ill and confused to hear it well, poor guy. (:14) This infection spreads to them messing around in The Intestinal Fortitude's new ad copy. RD then shills the Archives some more. Seriously, go buy an entry for it. It's only $15 measly dollars! (Which is better than the measles the Co-Hosses seem to be suffering from at present.)

:19 RD took a TRIP...from lunch during work where he met a(nother) hobo wanting to give him head, and I don't mean Al Snow's companion. Quote Mrs. Deal doing a reverse Roddy Piper: "Well I hope you said "no thank you"!" Surprisingly this story doesn't help Blade's condition.

Blade had one of those Halloween Whoopers that constipated him and made his poop green. (:27)

RD: "Why did I ever agree to start this show again? I don't know."

Blade found some 20 year old candy bars that he is going to auction to an unwilling audience. (:33) RD has yet to see Who Framed Roger Rabbit? 

:37 Dave Batista has married for the third time to a "pole dancer" which makes Blade think of horses for some reason. (From what I can tell of her she doesn't seem to have a long face.) He's definitely still pining (like a horse?) for Mickie James. "Obviously I'm a man," he attempts to remind.

Artist's representation
of a poison mushroom

Sad News: Blade's never been married even as he hits 40. Actual Sad News: The Rock's puppy, the one he saved from drowning, didn't cheat death a second time, succumbing to a poison mushroom. (:41)

Rockin' Robin is 51 years young. This summons Blade's (Viewing Booth) Bill Cosby impression for some reason as an excuse to play her singing again. I hope she invited Brother Hood to her birthday party if she held one. Cue "Bill" mumbling worse than my shill up above. (Don't ask me for any (Viewing Booth) Bill Cosby impressions as I'm terrible at those.) (:45)

Eve Torres had a child named Raeven, pronounced with an H. Please, nevermore with these awkward child names. (:50) RD gongs themselves. The HorseTrolla is still well oiled and functional and tells us that Mickie James is once again attempting to break into the country music scene. (:54)

RD: "You have to be very sick if this show is making you laugh."

:56 "Good" News: Tammy got bailed out of prison. She doesn't like her full name for some reason. May I suggest Raeven? Pronounced with an H. (Or Hammy if you prefer. Or Ham if she still wants the shorter name.) She supposedly found yet another boyfriend through her camera work - not explicit of course! - and you know it's true love when he doesn't have to pay for it. Just TALKING about her makes Blade laugh out (sickly) loud, which just about says it all. She's doing haunted houses now. Not visiting them for the sake of her (web-cam) audience mind you; actually being a performer in one of them.

RD: "Wooow! What a deal! So not only do you get to see a WWF Hall Of Famer get killed [in the Haunted House], you get a free 8x10!"

Worried about how the "trainwreck" of a progrem is going, RD jumps tracks to another trainwreck of TNA, now in its death throes. Yes, again.  (:63) Hopefully this time it stays down; even the Black Knight is looking at and shaking his head ruefully (as King Arthur decapitates him, only for him to continue talking.) As Blade puts it (in line with me commenting on this somewhere), it will not be long until they go the way of the AWA and have turkey on a pole matches in an empty pink arena. I would just cut out the middle man. Their 'arenas' are already empty and instead of having more disjointed matches the 'lucky' viewer could watch the wrestlers paint the arena in pink - something far more entertaining than whatever on earth TNA is doing or not doing. To quote an excellent page on the Death of TNA, in regards to the recent Bound For Glory:

• "On September 28, six days before their biggest show of the year, TNA announced the semi-main event for Bound For Glory, Kurt Angle vs. Eric Young, over Twitter." 

• "The show was held from the Cabarrus Arena in Concord, North Carolina. The venue reported that only 280 people paid for tickets to the show. Tweets showed that TNA was distributing hundreds of vouchers in an attempt to have any sort of crowd."

• "People who purchased a VIP ticket to the show were given perks such as a tour of the arena and backstage area from Dixie Carter, and a meal from the catering table. TNA talent were reportedly upset at the "lack of privacy" they had."

Also of rather important note:

• "The following day TNA made another one of their famous "big announcements". This time the big announcement was that Mahabali Shera, EC3 and Rebel would go to India to make an announcement there. That's right, TNA's big announcement was that there would be a big announcement."

I think Blade may be covertly working for TNA ala Vince Russo.

Blade may be sick but he was a trooper enough to persuade the Honky Tonk Mailman to call in, you're a beautiful audience thank you very much. However Blade's sickness infects even his line, as he's more hard to hear than usual, even worse than me up there. He catches them up on Mark Hardy/Mardy returning to action after the birth of his gargoyle kid. He has a Dixie Carter commemorative stamp only available until January.

:72 The WFFDQ advises to pick up Tony Romo. Forget the fact that he's currently injured at episode's run time; he's currently performing better than he did when he was healthy. He's a steal!

Oh and in case you were wondering, as of this writing RD and Blade's FF teams are currently in the middle while I'm near the top - but things can always change, as they usually do.

:74 Allan in Milwaukee wants to know why Stephanie will win this year's Ultimate Warrior Award. RD had a bumper crop of sent in questions after last time's begging, so of course out of all of them he chooses this one. Blade wants two fingered referee "The Iron Duke" Jim Mitchell to win it instead.

Blade: "This show is something else."
RD: "That's the most factually accurate statement you ever made."

Blade delays his Big Announcement. (See above re: TNA.)

:77 WWE may release a Scott Hall DVD. I look forward to how they handle his time in WCW.

James Storm, who had been with TNA FROM DAY ONE, has finally escaped his wrestling banishment to debut on NXT. [He would return in January, but fellow veterans AJ Styles, Bobby Roode, and Eric Young took his place instead.] The Co-Fruitcakes calculate how much TNA would be worth based on their donations - around $14 or so, which is still far overpriced. Blade attempts some serious conversation on Kurt Angle and his Moveset. Then he does his impression of Miss Elizabeth mumbling. My guess is Savage locked her in a room again and she's talking through the door.

Seventeen Syllables Of Current Wrestling News we're gonna get right here in seconds/Seventeen Syllables on the most recent Madison Garden Show once the song hits:
The MSG Show.
Yawn. Hehehehehehe
Hehehehehe.

The MSG Show.
Yawn. It was more like War to
Not Settle the Bore.

RD apologizes profusely for the radio progrem reverting back to its old ways, as if it had never left them at all.



$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. WrestleCrapRadio.com, WrestleCrap.com, IntestinalFortitude.com
• URLs not taken: 1. MikeCheckinathimble.com
• SPEAKING OFs: 2. Internal organs, dying
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 4. Filton Whisk, Bill Cosby, Honky Tonk Mail Man, WrestleCrap Fantasy Football Drag Queen

 

• Krankor Laughs: 1
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 1
• Mama’s Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes:  1
• Cricket Chirps:  2
• WrestleCrap Gongs:  2

 

• Mike Check Radio Row: 
• Station/Market:  WTCH The Witch (Salem, Massachusetts)
• Call Sign:  Johnny Boo
• Partner: Ann B. Love
• Show:  Afternoon Delight with Boo and B. Love
• Song:  “It's A Monsters' Holiday” by Buck Owens

 

• Question of the Week from: Allan in Milwaukee
• Who will win this years Warrior Award and why will it be Stephanie McMahon? Blade: Nope, Iron Duke.
  

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: New Yawn or York?
  The MSG Show.
  Yawn. It was more like War to
  Not Settle the Bore. 
    
• Erik Majorwitz’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: One last thing on RDs white:
  
  Hooker solicits RD.
  What do call such a thing?
  Terrifying Whore-Deal!
  

253 The O Show: September 20, 2015

Ooooooooohhhhhhh!

60 minutes

RD enjoys watching a lot of Prime Time Wrestling, the only place where Mr. X could win a match and be taken seriously, according to Blade. As expected WWE is doing a terrible job of showing episodes so RD has to watch them himself.

Blade wanted Heenan to cross dress like Ms. Elizabeth. Does that make Monsoon Savage (the Monsoon Man) and try to keep Heenan locked away in their never ending feud?

Unlike Blade, RD is "not familiar with Mean Gene Okerlund's O Face" (his climax sound to be sure) so Blade has to (repeatedly) audibly demonstrate for him. (:07) Save that for the Coliseum Video theme before you prematurely ejaculate, pal. (...Which they do, actually.)

For a change my shilling this time is shorter, but alas I realize too late I forgot the URL. Not that it's important for a website or anything like that. Then again, if you didn't know it dear reader (all one of you) you wouldn't be here reading this either. To his credit RD repeats it a few times to make it hit the magic 30 second mark, which makes it sound like I've climaxed multiple times like Mean Gene earlier. (:12) In response The Intestinal Fortitude has its own new ad copy. Sadly RD does not do his Jeff Foxworthy...this time.

Blade remembers the first time RD went on a TRIP...to the Library all those summers ago. (:17) Reminder: Blade also went to the Library too (where he met a candy wielding child molester).

RD forgot a third snack from the Netherlands: Tijgernootjes. They look like bacon cheese infused corn covered peanuts (to him; to me they look like rather small scrotum - they really need better packaging over there) and taste rather good, although he can't put down why exactly the taste is so familiar. Thankfully he does not make an O Face while savoring them.

:24 SPEAKING OF corn Blade remembers when Paul Ellering almost lost an eye. Ah, those were happier and simpler times indeed, no? His daughter Rachel is training in WWCR friend and fine young egg Lance Storm's wrestling school in Calgary...







...Alberta, Canada. (Sorry, it was just my turn to make that joke and I couldn't just pass it up.) RD has been trying to get him on their show again in the past year and a half.

Savio Vega is finally getting his due and appearing in WWE 2K16. (:26) Sad News brought to you by Nintendo John (on the Nintendo): the game is not being ported to the (Nintendo) Wii U or the (Nintendo) 3DS (both old (Nintendo) 3DS and new New (Nintendo) 3DS - or was that new (Nintendo) New 3DS? I always get that mixed up). Anyway Nintendo John confuses RD more than Nintendo's current corporate strategy...on the Nintendo. (Insert Nintendo John's audience cheering here.)

The Rock is pregnant. Well, his lady is. Thankfully the Duo get through without talking about any prospective Junior remake (to be made by WWE Films as a favor to a Hall Of Famer no doubt). (:37) RD and I remember Johnson was married before, and I believe that (thankfully) they still seem to be on good terms as they co-own his production company. Sad News: I don't believe her married family name was Rock like Blade thinks it was.

Much like how Blade's random Iron Mark Tyson impersonation gave life to his later character, RD uses his high pitched Football Fan voice from last episode (The WrestleCrap Fantasy Football Drag Queen as he terms her) to 'advise' fantasy football players to use Packers WR Jordy Nelson. (:40) Blade is reduced to speechless laughter. I'm speechless too - Jordy Nelson has been on Injured Reserve since the start of the season and would be as effective in your team as I would be if I suddenly became QB. To be fair I would probably do better than whoever is currently doing that in Jacksonville.

(I am also left wondering if she and Popeye will start double calling into the show from now on. *Shudder*)

RD is in turn rendered speechless by the courts issuing Tammy a warrant for her arrest for failing to attend a court hearing for her (most recent?) DUI. (:43)

Mike Cantalano thinks WWCR is Facebook Support for some reason. (:47) RD begs for better Questions like he's on a charity fundraise drive. Didn't they raise the idea of doing that one time? (Of which we have all completely forgotten about?)

:50 TNA might be dead. For real this time. No mostly dead or half dead or being stone dead in a minute. Also, you know a promotion is bad when an average house show is more surreal than a Monty Python sketch. I'm shocked we haven't got a gimmick of someone Silly Walking in the ring yet. They still have time until the end of the year though, so it's not too late!

Sting is still wrestling at 56 years old. (:56) As much as I respect them both greatly as true wrestling legends...I don't want Sting to become another Ric Flair. We don't need ANOTHER wrestler who walks around losing his pants faster than Walter White. Although now I want to see Bryan Cranston guest host RAW (sponsored by the fine folks at Los Pollos Hermanos) in one of his contamination suits, clothesline Vince, then take off the head piece to show he's been wearing his Heisenberg Hat all this time. License to print money...which he will then store in a barrel that he buries in the New Mexico desert.

RD: "This is his chance to win the WWE title along with all those WCW titles. In other words, it's his chance to butter his bread at both tables."
Blade: "Oh, you're right Jim."

Then they laugh out loud.

Seventeen Syllables Easily Digestible:
Sting and John Cena.
Brand new tag team? Dudes with Att-
-itude Adjustments.



$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 4. WrestleCrap.com, WrestleCrapRadio.com, TheIntestinalFortitude.com, Drive In Movie Maniacs
• URLs not taken: 1. TigerNutty.com
• SPEAKING OFs: 4. Euros, Europe, corn, corn (2)
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 3. Premier Blah, “Nintendo” John, WrestleCrap Fantasy Football Drag Queen

 

• Krankor Laughs: 1
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 3
• Mama’s Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes:  1
• Nintendo 8 Bit Pops:  12

 

• Question of the Week from: Mike Cantalano
• When you die, what happens to Facebook?  Just wondering.  Khan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Blade: Mark Zuckerberg lights a candle in your honor.

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Fusion of the old with the new babyface:
  Sting and John Cena.
  Brand new tag team? Dudes with Att-
  -itude Adjustments.

 

252 Summer's RDeve: September 10, 2015

#252: The one where RD eats p..."Cats"

78 minutes

Matt Hardy boxing Evander Holyfield made Blade morbidly think back on when he used to watch boxing in the dark days of the 90s when about half the wrestlers had boxing gimmicks. RD remembers when Michael Buffer was in WCW mispronouncing names.

As this is the third episode (so far) Blade thinks the listeners will get laid without having to purchase a Global Internet URL. (:06)

RD does his Drag Queen Football Fan impersonation for some reason.

RD & Blade discuss their annual WC Football League and how good their drafts were. (:08) To give an idea of things and since I'm in the League as well (as the Pingkins led by their mascot, the fighting Blue Badger!), the League autodrafted for me (since I completely forgot the draft time), then gave me the best draft grade for my 'trouble'.

WWCR is now also on Stitcher. Somewhere anyway. I'm too lazy to download the application for it.

While my ludicrous speed ad copy is good for a laugh or two I did at the last second send a bit of a slower one to the duo for them to judge upon which version they prefer. (:13) Sadly the newer version confuses Blade even more. (To be fair, when has he not been confused?) RD has some fun with us by mixing things up so I guess that's yet another victory. I'm feeling lucky too. And I didn't even have to get laid through Global Internet for it!

That does give me an idea though. ROTATIONAL ad copy from my end - every progrem I say something different in an attempt to get Blade to laugh. Like I'm a stand up comedian or something professional like that.

:19 RD went back to the Netherlands for his work and brought back some snacks with him. Knabbels taste like generic salty snacks/Funyuns. Naturel Cats are not made from cats as illustrated (that would be Frosties), but they don't really taste good either. (You sure it's not ACTUAL cat food?) While there a coworker thought he was over half a century (of summers) old.

RD missed Force Friday, but it was no big deal as that thing was more of a bust than the prequels (Too late?!?!?!). (:31) Blade is inspired to do a Consensual Saturday and sell some of his old junk rather than give it away in response to Question Of The Weeks. He did see a Victoria as Leia shirt though. His attempts to be cleaner surprise RD (and even me to some extent).

Dwayne Johnson amazes RD by relegating himself to Obscure Wrestling News. (:38) He also amazes by rescuing his drowning puppy. The Duo think he was at a nudist colony. Also they're fully clothed. Remember the early days when Blade had no pants? 

Tammy's in the 'news' again. RD: "From one female dog to another!" (:44) Sad News: she's been blocked from her FB account for some reason. Sadder News: her fish's eyeball is acting up. Saddest News: she wants to do voyeurism full time. Worst News: RD wonders if she could sponsor their show, preferably at the end after the outro after everyone has left and no one is listening.

:53 As I suspected over five years ago, (and because literally one Listener asked about him) Patrick Stewart comes back from the "dead" to pester Blade with DRA. MATIC. ACT-ING. Isn't that Shatner's thing though? He makes Blade laugh with ad copy for the Austin Aries Acadian. Then he leaves. Now.

Wait, does that mean he did his duties reporting on TNA news?

Ed "Han" Salo returns with a Question. (5) (:58) Should Young MC change his old song's lyrics referring to Jimmy Snuka? His prize is some bad word replacement.

Blade's Big Announcement is that he's delayed his Big Announcement. But of course. (:62) He once worked with (Hungry Hungry) Ken Patera's daughter. That's not the Big Announcement.

John Laurinitis is engaged to the Bella Twins' mother, making him the hopeful father in law to Daniel Bryan and his old 'nemesis' John Cena. True story: you know a guy has charisma when my spell checker wants to correct his name to Laryngitis.

Iron Mark surprises RD making him cough. Then Blade laughs and ruins the mood. RD: "He blew away like a balloon". (:67)

Hillbilly Jim last main-evented a PPV 27 years ago.

Sting has yet to win a match in WWE.

A Seventeen Syllable Story Perhaps:
Sting vs. Rollins.
Will Sting's match beat oh and six-
teen Lions' record?



$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. WrestleCrapRadio.com, TheIntestinalFortitude.com, InnerRickRude.com
• URLs not taken: 6. WhatshappeningtoGreg.com, FumigatingBladeBraxton.com, NudistColonyWithDanSpivey.com, fullyclothedpodcast.com, PoorMatilda.com, smashittogetherintoverysmallamountofdigestablesyllablare.com
• SPEAKING OFs: 3. Ways to clean yourself, couple things we will neglect, Sting
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 3. Premier Blah, Stewart Patrick, “Iron” Mark Tyson
  

 

• RD Time Outs: 2 (2 Wait a Minute)
• Blade Time Outs:  7 (2 Real Quick)
• Blade Burps:  1
• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  1
• Weird Al Laughs:  2
• Krankor Laughs:  2
• Mama’s Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes:  2
• Cricket Chirps:  1
• WrestleCrap Gongs:  1
   

 

• Question of the Week from: Ed "Han" Salo (5)
  
• Since the WWE is removing all references to Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka from the network, I wonder if Young MC will have to change the lyrics of his 1990 hit song “I Come Off”?  The lyrics are I’m coming off just like the clothes on a hooker and I can fly like Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka.  Certainly the WWE would ask this legend of rap to remove that lyric, but who would replace him in that line? RD: Booker T. Blade: Uhhh.

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Sting the lovable loser jobber?
  Sting vs. Rollins.
  Will Sting's match beat oh and six-
  teen Lions' record?