Sir Alec Heineken

Not his actual picture.
[For an enhanced experience, please read the following profile while listening to: Concerto No 1 in E Major (Spring) Allegro by Antonio Vivaldi]


Sir Alec Heineken can speak with an English accent. He uses it to read terrible wrestling stories.

Sir Alec Heineken walks through the dark streets of a Kansas suburb. The night is musty. His destination is upon him sooner than expected. Alec approaches. He stares into the window of Blade Braxton's abode. Alec sees Blade is on the phone, co-hosting another episode of WrestleCrap Radio, and not wearing pants, as usual. Blade motions "come here" with his finger. Alec comes inside through the foyer and sits in a recliner in the corner of the living room. Minute after minute, he says not a word, waiting patiently as Blade continues the show. But then, at the right moment, Blade texts R.D. with a message to strike up the theme music to Fan Fiction Theatre. Sir Alec picks up the extension and begins reading some disgusting wrestling-related smut. It's just so gross. Ecch.

  • Fills the progrem's quota as the dirty old man.
  • Has his own approving audience that cheers him on.
  • Goes around restaurants with his (imaginary woman?) Ellie.
  • Improvisational with various food items to use for sexual intercourse.
  • Has an old rivalry with Mike Check.
  • Good Lord, lad. 
  • Aww...look at that! Way to go! Congratulations! We're so proud of you! That's what I'm talking about! Yes! We knew you could do it! Congratulations! You did it! Whooo!!! 

...


Sir Alec's Fan Fiction Theatre Transcripts

[For an enhanced experience, please read the following stories while listening to: Canon in D Major by Johann Pachelbel]



WrestleCrap Fan Fiction Theatre Episode 15: A Jedi for Christmas
WrestleCrap Fan Fiction Theatre Episode 14: More Than Words (Ambreigns AU)
WrestleCrap Fan Fiction Theatre Episode 13: Roman ran his hands through the fur of the German
WrestleCrap Fan Fiction Theatre Episode 12: From My Chocolate Heart To Yours
WrestleCrap Fan Fiction Theatre Episode 11: "Love Conquers All"
WrestleCrap Fan Fiction Theatre Episode 10: "Scenario 1 Randy Orton is a Mickie James fan?"
WrestleCrap Fan Fiction Theatre Episode 9: "The Favor"
WrestleCrap Fan Fiction Theatre Episode 8: "Karma"
WrestleCrap Fan Fiction Theatre Episode 7: "Father's Day"
WrestleCrap Fan Fiction Theatre Episode 6b": "The Werewolf"
WrestleCrap Fan Fiction Theatre Episode 6: "Sunny's Zoo Adventure"
WrestleCrap Fan Fiction Theatre Episode 5: "Frankie's Quest for Love"
WrestleCrap Fan Fiction Theatre Episode 4: "Childbirth"
WrestleCrap Fan Fiction Theatre Episode 3: "Trish's Secret"
WrestleCrap Fan Fiction Theatre Episode 2: "The Secret Life Of Michelle McCool"
WrestleCrap Fan Fiction Theatre Episode 1: "Love"

3 comments:

Erik M. said...

Aww...we are so proud of you! Way to go! That's what I'm talking about! Whoo!!!

locker said...

I like your thoughts due to your skills.

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